The Path Of Needles

Summer blossoms. The sun becomes hostile in this season.

I’ll never trust that feeling of “finally normal and functioning” It always ends up an episode.

Do I really want to do it or is it another manic episode

Define “IT’S OKAY” because the amount of comfort it brings me isn’t as much as you think

The impatient “It’s okay to feel the way you do” = “You’re already a handful to deal with, I don’t need you acting like it’s eating you alive.”

I want so many answers, but so little there is to be gained from them.

Maybe they’re right, maybe I am the answer. I wouldn’t know, I would never see it that way, I would never admit it.

Heart pounding shivering anxious and I don’t care

Tell me, where can I sell my soul to get a bit of rest and supress these bouts of shivers, exploding carelessness and thousands of colliding thoughts in my head

Who else can I trust if I can’t even trust my psychiatrist?

Give and take. It’s always been give and take.

I know I’m fine now. But am I really?

That moment when I realize I‘m a real downer but just a week ago I thought I was the funniest person on the planet. Has everyone just been tolerating me? At what point are they going to stop?