that silent state

i am just, a horrid little beast and i am, going to cause a ruckus

babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it

*dancing queen by ABBA plays in the distance while I bleed out on the bathroom floor from 17 stab wounds*

good morning God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everybody’s problem

*makes a jerking off motion every time someone with authority talks*

mortician: *cutting my corpse open* *finds the “Hope You’re Having A Good Day My Hard Working Mortician :-)’ note i swallowed for them just before i died* what the fuck 

wine tasting but instead with hard liquors

do i detect a hint of sharpie marker