give me hide or give me death

i m a g i n e:

• reading hide say "because i love him" as a reason to keep fighting for kaneki when kaneki a) didnt even know he was alive and b) hadnt been reciprocating. obviously. bc he didnt know hide was alive

• knowing hide Gave Up A Part Of Himself at da end of tg in the sewers, HIS MOUTH A R EA GONE via Kiss bc theres no other way that kaneki couldve eaten it, because hide wanted kaneki to live so desperately

• READING THE CHAPTER WHERE hide, literally coming to kaneki in a near-death hallucination, representing kaneki's desire to live and GETTING HIM TO STAY ALIVE

• r e a d i n g kaneki get sad as shitfuck when touka asks him if he misses hide and kaneki is like: i dont think abt missing hide cuz if i do, i just remember how much i want to be with him

imagine reading all of this. reading All Of This. and shipping touken????? could NOT be me. 

and honestly??? i don't think this becoming canon did very much for the holy trinity. of course, hide didn't get the reunion that should've been warranted by the intensity and complexity of his friendship w kaneki. that's just a fact. but after touka got pregnant she just sort of faded into the background. of course she was still very kind and her spark didn't die but it also wasn't her. she couldn't fight anymore and became this pillar of support for kaneki and a plot device to pull him out of his Monster Stage in the final arc. like. im so mad abt that. she deserves the absolute world and not This. and like ... kaneki's character is also unfinished and i do think that's partly bc ishida was tired of tg which is understandable! but i dont think kaneki having a standby wife helped him either. hmm. much to discuss.