You can barely hear Sukuna’s soothing words because your entire body is on fire, your heart thumping so hard you thought it would break free from your chest. You lowered your hand between your legs and gasped when you felt something solid and wet, something that was very obviously the top of a baby's head. Your baby.

You sucked in a sharp breath, eyes as wide as the moon. This couldn’t be happening right now, you had such terrible luck. You were far from ready to give birth, to be a mother and the thought of having her in a car in the middle of winter had you spiraling. You and Sukuna hadn’t even picked out a name yet.

“Ryomen..” You weeped, a drastic change from the slew of curses you had just been screaming. “She’s coming now. Pull over.”

He looks at you through the rearview mirror, red eyes wide as he processes what you just said. 

“What do you mean she’s coming now?” 

You glare at him because you didn’t fucking stutter and you were in no position to be repeating yourself when you could barely breathe. 

“I mean the baby is coming now!!” 

“Fuck! Hold on!” Sukuna pulled onto the side of the road, hands shaking as he turned on the hazard lights and put the car in park, running to the back door before yanking it open. 

His entire face was drained of color as he stared at you in disbelief, as if you had planned for it to happen this way. You were supposed to be in a hospital bed, surrounded by medicial professionals who knew what the fuck they were doing. Not laid out in the back seat of a frat boy’s car, minutes away from pushing out his baby. 

Sukuna immediately drops to his knees beside the opened back door and with trembling sweat stained hands, he starts to pull your leggings down and you freak out.

“WHAT are you doing?!” You smack his hand away and he scowls at you. How fucking dare he give you atittude while you were in active labor with his child. 

“If the fucking baby is coming then you can’t give birth with pants on, can you?” 

Your eyes water and your body shakes as sobs rack your body, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Your hair was loose from its bun and sticking to the sides of your flushed face. He was right, of course he was but that didn’t bring you any comfort.

“Please.. I’m not ready.” 

Sukuna paused, his face softening just a little as he grabbed your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist, eyes locked on yours. You ignored how intimate it felt. “Hey. Look at me, please.”

And you do. His pink hair is a mess, you can see the sweat through his white compression shirt and he looked absolutely terrified. 

“You’re not fucking weak, do you understand me? It’s going to be okay. I’m right here and I’m gonna help ya through this, yeah?” Sukuna is relieved when you just barely smile with tear stained cheeks, because he was on the verge of losing his mind. This wasn’t supposed to be his life, but it was and he was trying his best not to spiral. 

You whimper and nod, letting him remove your pants and then your underwear. The cold air immediately hits you but you didn’t have enough time to acknowledge it before another contraction hit and you were screaming bloody murder, pushing down as hard as you could for six seconds, taking a sharp inhale once the contraction passed, letting your head rest on the carseat again. 

“You’re doing so well babe, such a good girl.” Sukuna tries his best to be encouraging but he was a business major, frat boy on his university’s soccer team. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this moment. He never even thought he’d have a kid, let alone be the one delivering it. His body between your legs, hands ready to catch his daughter, face pale at the sight of a small head of pink hair making its way out of you. 

The only things Sukuna knew about childbirth was that it was painful and it wasn’t supposed to happen in the backseat of his car. The sight left him unable to process what he was seeing, mind spinning with fear and concern for you and his child. 

“I hate you!” You scream, pushing down again as blood and fluids start to trickle down your legs, muscles on fire from the force you use, head pounding as the contraction tore through you. The sounds leaving your mouth are barely human. 

“I know, but I need you to keep pushing, alright? Hate me later.” Before you can protest, Sukuna’s running to the trunk and popping it open. He quickly grabs the baby bag and rips a blanket out of it before running back to you, trunk still wide open.

You push down again and Sukuna's back between your legs, blanket covering his hands as he stretches them and prepares to catch his baby. He has no idea what the fuck he’s doing, only that he probably shouldn’t let thing hit the ground. She was nearly out. Her head and shoulders free and Sukuna was amazed at how your body was stretching to its limit, bringing life into the world. 

“Almost there, she’s almost out now. S’proud of you babe.” 

You pushed one last time, lasting eight seconds this time before instant release washed over you and you let your body drop fully into the seat, fighting to catch your breath as a loud cry filled the car and outside. You were so exhausted, your entire body covered in sweat that you didn’t even care to cover yourself when someone came over asking if you needed help. 

Sukuna yelled at them to call for an ambulance as you looked down at him. He was attempting to wrap your crying daughter in a blanket and you smiled softly at the sight, eyes slowly shutting before your body went limp and everything turned dark.

One day later

You were dressed in a hospital gown, snug in your bed and arms heavy as you held your swaddled baby. Sukuna was standing over you, one hand moving up and down her chubby cheek in soft motions as she slept peacefully, oblivious to the sheer trauma you went through to bring her into the world.

Her hair was as pink as her fathers, her skin the same tan color as his, pink eyelashes long just like yours and your heart swelled. She wasn’t the perfect combination you thought she’d be. No. She was Sukuna’s spitting image, as if you hadn’t carried her for nine months and you felt like you were on cloud nine.

The lights in the room were dimmed and the afternoon sun spilled into the room, everything feeling peaceful and surreal. You were a mom now, no longer pregnant but holding a whole human you grew over the course of nine months, watching with hearts bursting in your eyes as she made soft coo’ing noises in her sleep. Tears brimmed as you leaned down and kissed her forehead, inhaling deeply to take in the fresh baby scent. 

“She’s so tiny.” You whisper, still unable to believe that she was yours and she was actually here. Your uterus no longer her home, your heart outside of your body. 

“Yeah..” Sukuna mumbles, never taking his eyes off of her. He was tracking every breath she took, timing them to make sure everything was normal and panicking when she stirs in her sleep, tiny fingers flexing as her chubby hand reaches and grabs onto his finger. 

Sukuna’s heart skips a beat, chest tight at the feeling of her little palm wrapped around his too large finger. When she starts to open her eyes, he slightly leans forward, completely mesmerized by the sight of his clone staring back at him. 

“Her eyes! She has your eyes too Sukuna, so unfair.” You feign jealousy, although your entire being filled with pride.

“Looks like me.” 

You look up at the man towering over you, his eyes locked directly on his baby and you can almost see the way he’s slowly melting despite his ever permanent mean mug, absolutely smitten over her. You hate how beautiful he looks, how every second that passes makes you fall more and more in love with him, knowing you’d never be more than co-parents. That Sukuna did not do relationships and you wouldn't be the one to change that, even if you birthed his child.

He lets his eyes wander to yours, a look you couldn’t quite make out flashing across his face before he’s leaning further down and placing a kiss to your forehead. “You did amazing. Thank you.”

Then he’s looking back at your daughter before you could respond and you’re biting your lip to fight back the tears and failing miserably. Sukuna doesn’t notice, his sole attention is on his daughter as you silently sob to yourself. The sight of the baby in your arms blurring.

“She’s perfect.”

“Hmm, yeah she is.” 

And you don’t see the way Sukuna’s looking at you. 

The next three days in the hospital were bliss, if you excluded the fact that you cried in the privacy of your room's bathroom whenever the sight of Sukuna being an attentive father overwhelmed you. He only left once for an exam and was right back at your side with lunch since you’d complained about the hospital food. 

You wanted to yell at him to stop being so caring when you both knew he could never give you what you actually wanted. It was cruel but even more pathetic that you enjoyed it, all but setting yourself up for failure. 

You were currently watching your brother sit in the corner of the room, holding your baby with a carefulness that almost makes you laugh. Sukuna is seated in the chair by your bed, failing miserably at pretending he wasn’t watching his frat brother with a promised violence in his eyes if anything happened to his daughter. 

“Does she have a name yet?” Nanami looks at you with soft eyes, pushing up his glasses to wipe at a stray tear before adjusting them again. You shake your head no, mind flashing back to the day your parents picked you up at the police station and how Nanami had always protected you.

You were only six when they died and their best friends took you in. You had lost your parents but gained a brother that day and to see him sitting there with your daughter in his arms, was nothing short of a miracle.

“Working on it now.” Sukuna huffs from beside you and you bite back a laugh at the way he was obviously seething with jealousy, as if he didn’t quite literally deliver her. 

You look down at the form that you and Sukuna were meant to fill out, and stare blankly at the empty spot that was meant for your daughter’s name. 

“What do you think?” You ask, looking over at him but he’s too busy staring at your daughter. “Ryomen..” 

“Hmm?” It takes a few seconds before he actually looks at you, his face softening just a little and you feel embarrassed at your appearance. You were dressed in a sweatsuit, makeup free and your hair pulled into a messy braid behind your head. Your face heats when he doesn’t break your gaze, simply shrugging. 

“That’s your response?” 

“I told you already. It’s up to you, doesn’t make a difference to me. You carried her and pushed her out. Although I would like her to have both of our last names, for legal reasons.” 

You nod in agreement. You weren’t Sukuna’s wife, nor did you share the same last name and the idea of your daughter only having his disturbed you. But the fact that he had the same thought, that he considered you as well had your face burning. 

“Mkay.” 

You thought it over for the next ten minutes until an option popped up, one you had considered over the past three months but was hesitant about.

“What about (daughter's name) Itadori? It’s my birth mothers name and I'd like to honor her since she can’t be here.” 

He whispers the name a few times while looking at his daughter who was sound asleep in her uncle's arms. You started to grow nervous until he made a humming sound. 

“Do you like it?” You bite your lip and roll the pen in your hand, anxiety eating at you because what if he didn’t like it? 

“Hmm, it fits her.”  

The knot in your chest loosens immediately and you hated how badly you wanted his validation. He wasn't your man, you didn’t need his approval but you still craved it. It was pathetic. 

After Nanami leaves it’s just you three again. You’re breast feeding your baby while Sukuna finishes packing your bags. You’re finally being released from the hospital and it terrifies you because it means you and Sukuna are on your own. There won’t be nurses there to help you if you can’t swaddle the baby properly or get her to latch on, which you had been struggling with. 

It would just be you three in your little apartment, two college students playing at being parents. Sukuna was still in a frat, would he put his responsibilities to his fraternity over you and your shared daughter? You knew the kind of person he was and while he did slow down with the parties since you told him you were keeping the baby, a part of you worried he’d realize he was in over his head and bail. 

“Ready?” Sukuna asks softly, the back of his finger rubbing at his daughter’s cheek as you pull your nipple from her mouth but his eyes are locked on yours. You only hum and wipe at the escaped milk falling from her mouth, her eyes shut tight as she smiled at something in her sleep. 

You hear Sukuna take in a sharp breath and when you look at him you swear his eyes are watering but he doesn’t give you enough time to really notice. He was shrugging her baby bag over his shoulder and leaving the room to let the nurses know you were all set. 

You felt silly as an attendant pushed you down the hall in a wheelchair, Sukuna walking in front of you with your daughter strapped safely in her carseat, pink blanket thrown over her legs and arms, a matching pink hat keeping her head warm. You had just given birth a few days ago but the way you were aching at the sight of him holding a carseat, muscles flexing under his long sleeved shirt as he held tightly, hat on backwards and reminding you that he was still the same fratboy you met nine months ago, was concerning.

He’s doing the most aggressive new-dad walk you've ever seen and the sight is delicious. He’s moving away from anyone that brushes past him, hand gripping the carseat handle as if he were escorting the head of state and not his newborn daughter. You laugh as an older man stares in shock, eyes flicking between Sukuna’s tattooed face and the small bundle he was carrying. He only looks away when the 6’5 man shoots him a dirty glare. 

Then you know you’re totally fucked when he secures the baby in the car and then comes back around and lifts you out the wheelchair, smirking at the sound of you yelping and tightening his grip on you while being mindful of your belly. He carries you bridal style to the open back door and sits you next to your daughter and you’re so confused because this isn’t the Sukuna you met and heard rumors about. 

“Buckle up.” He tells you but he’s the one snapping the seatbelt into the buckle, making sure it’s tight enough around you as if you were a child. When you look at him with questioning eyes, he simply shrugs and says nothing.

The first week of parenting is full of sleepless nights and pathetic attempts at keeping up with your school work, grateful that all of your professors had been accommodating and understanding that you were still adjusting to motherhood.

Sukuna was gone for the first time since you’d been home from the hospital, no longer able to put off his responsibilities to the frat and his classes. He grumbled on and on, complaining that the baby needed him and school could wait until you reminded him that this was his last year of uni and it was important he didn’t fall off. The truth was, Sukuna had noticed a new sadness in your eyes. Though you were obviously just as in love with your daughter as he was, he grew concerned when he noticed you were hardly eating and biting at your nails more often than not. 

It was ridiculous because these weren’t things he’d notice with anyone else, it wasn’t something he cared enough about to pay attention to. But he cared about you, even if you were only the mother to his child. You held a spot in his heart no other woman had since before his mother abandoned him and Jin as children. 

He’d even overheard you crying in the shower last night, feeling guilty because he had no idea how to handle that and so he just walked away. Later that night he stood in your doorway watching as you slept, bassinet sat beside you on the bed as you insisted on keeping the baby close so you wouldn’t have to waddle to her room whenever she was due for a feeding. His heart cracking because he wasn’t good with emotions and he wished he knew how to help you but he had no fucking clue on what to do.

That guilt hadn’t disappeared the following night, which is why he was leaving before you woke from your nap, making sure to send you a text so you knew where he was. He sighed when he pulled up in front of the frat house, stomach twisting because this was the last place he wanted to be but maybe a party would distract him from the confusing feelings he had toward you. 

The thought of sleeping with someone else crossed his mind and it left him nauseous which only pissed him off more. You weren’t in a relationship so why did he feel this sick sense of disloyalty when he thought of fucking another woman? He was a damn good father and he treated you well, but that was as far as his responsibilities went. 

He could whore his way through campus if he wanted to and no one would say anything, there were no labels to your relationship. He reminded himself of that as he walked through the front door of the frat house, the music too loud and the drunk idiots around him grating on his nerves. He adjusted his glasses on his head, grabbing a beer from the cooler and moving through the house until he was in the backyard and staring at the sea of known and unknown faces swimming in the pool as if it weren’t winter and dancing around it.

There were red cups everywhere and it made him think of the second night home from the hospital when you both had been so exhausted at 2 am that you just started throwing diapers on the floor before Sukuna dragged himself out of bed a few hours later to pick them up. He didn’t realize babies peed and pooped as much as his daughter did. The memory almost made him smile before a glare spread across his face at the sight of Gojo making his way toward him with a shit eating grin, stumbling and spilling the alcohol from his cup. 

“IT’S MY NEW FAVORITE SINGLE DAD!” He yells and Sukuna wants nothing more than to drown him in that pool.

“I’m right in front of you dumbass, why are you screaming in my fucking face?” 

Gojo laughs and throws his arm around Sukuna, who surprisingly doesn’t push him off, just huffs and lets his friend pull him closer. “Why? Is the baby sleeping?” 

Sukuna’s eye twitches. 

“I’m just fucking with you. But seriously, what the hell are you doing here?” 

That was a good question.

A few months ago, this would've been normal. A Friday night at a fraternity party. Music so loud it rattled the walls. Drunk people packed shoulder-to-shoulder in every room. Someone inevitably breaking furniture Sukuna or Gojo would have to replace to avoid getting chewed out by university officials. But everything felt wrong.

“I needed a break.” 

He pushes Gojo off him and walks away, cracking open his beer and chugging it like a freshman desperate to prove themselves. That was the truth, even if it was only half of it. Since his daughter was born over a week ago, his life had revolved around her and the woman sleeping in the second bedroom. Every morning he'd wonder if she had eaten enough, every afternoon he’d ignored his own tiredness and worry that you weren’t sleeping enough. Each night he’d lay in bed and listen carefully for sounds of a baby crying. 

It was fucking exhausting. Mentally and physically draining because the fact that all these good things were happening to him, soft things, was out of his norm and confusing. Everything about his life had been rough. Abandoned by his mother as a child, left with a neglectful father and then there was you.

Nanami’s sister who came into his life and made him feel things. The way you laughed at him when he panicked over every tiny thing surrounding your daughter. The way you'd looked at him in the hospital when he held his daughter tight against him.

It was becoming a problem because he didn’t do relationships. His parents were a piss poor example of love, people lied and disappointed each other all the time so he decided long ago that hook ups were better, simple and best for everyone involved. 

So tonight he was proving a point. He was still the same guy that could walk into a party, get shit faced drunk and then fuck a random woman for hours on end. Even if his stomach twisted in knots when another woman smiled at him and he forced himself to smirk back. Even if her face warped into yours as he pulled that same woman later that night towards his room.

When he closed his bedroom door, his heart sank and he felt his blood turning cold as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to kiss him. The last woman he had brought in this room was you all those months ago, when he lost all common sense and came inside of you not once but twice. 

Sukuna looked at her, leaning his head back just a little as she got closer and for a split second his brain made him hear your laugh. Big glossy eyes staring up at him, your nails digging in his hair and scratching just the way he likes. This woman wasn’t you and the comparison hit so hard it almost pissed him off. Especially when she reached up and pressed her lips against his and Sukuna stayed deadly still.

She was sticking her tongue out when he untangled her arms from around him and stepped back, head spinning with anger and another feeling he refused to admit. Why couldn’t you stay out of his fucking head? Usually he’d already be rolling the condom on and fucking this woman until she couldn’t speak but now he was using the back of his hand to wipe the taste of her off of him. 

“Just not feeling it, sorry.” 

“Another woman?” She asked and her smile was kind enough but Sukuna didn’t answer, turning and leaving her in the room alone. 

He was sick with irritation that he felt like a cheater, annoyed he blew his own chances at getting laid and relieved that he didn’t fuck her. He checked his phone to see if you had texted, heart thumping when he saw your name. 

brat’s mom: have fun! {1 attachment}

And when he opened the picture he was instantly smiling, oblivious to the fact that people stared at him like he was insane. Ryomen Sukuna found smiling? Pigs were about to start flying. He didn’t care of course, because he was too busy looking at the picture of you on the couch, smiling softly with his daughter tucked against you, chubby cheeks pressing in your chest as she slept like an angel. 

You look tired but wholly beautiful and he wanted you so, so badly it hurt. 

sukuna: brats.

It was all he said but he hearted the picture and hoped you would understand how happy it made him to see it. He’d always been a shit communicator. 

He was too drunk to go home so he passed out on the couch until he was jumping out of his sleep at eleven in the morning, heart pounding hard and cursing as he looked for his phone and punched in the code with a force strong enough to almost break the screen protector when face ID failed. 

Two missed calls from you and one text from two hours ago.

brat’s mom: hey I was planning on getting coffee with my friends this morning. When do you think you’ll be back? It’s too cold to bring (daughters name) out.

“Fuck!” He tried to call you, snatching up his glasses and running out the door with his shoes untied, tripping over a pledge passed out on the floor. He kicked him, yelling at him to get out of the fucking way before bolting out the door and begging for you to answer. 

He hadn’t meant to sleep as long as he did, sleep deprivation getting the best of him. It hadn’t even been worth it because Sukuna had a raging headache and slept worse than he would with his daughter waking him every two hours. 

You didn’t answer when he called you a second and third time and he sped off in his car with panic and guilt taking root in his body.

“Come on (daughters name), please just help mommy out and latch.” You cried, tears streaming down your face as your daughter screamed, her chubby little face turning red with anger and hunger. Her fists were balled, her arms flailed in frustration as you moved your nipple toward her mouth. 

You had been trying to get her to latch properly for the last ten minutes but was failing miserably. You were in the process of pumping, bottle almost two ounces full when she woke from her sleep and immediately demanded to be fed. You were starting to notice that your daughter wasn’t a very patient baby and you cried in annoyance because you were supposed to be meeting your friends and had to cancel on them, even after they offered to come to you, desperate to finally meet your baby. 

Your shoulders shook as you sobbed helplessly, looking down at your daughter with harsh guilt. It had been a struggle getting her to latch since leaving the hospital, but she never took more than a few minutes before she was happily sucking away. Now your boobs were sore from the overflow of milk you were producing, sitting dormant and the breast pump brought you little relief. 

“Ok, just give me a second.” And she screeched louder when you laid her on the couch, still dressed in her cotton pink set you’d dressed her in earlier with a matching bow. 

You ran to the kitchen and unscrewed the bottle from the pump, screwing the cap on with trembling hands before running back to your daughter. Just as you picked her up, Sukuna was tripping through the door with a look of panic, his pink hair wild on his head. 

You attempted to ignore him and the reality that he was hungover, sitting back on the couch and moving the bottle to your daughter's mouth. Her screams turned into soft whimpers before she went quiet, greedily drinking the small amount of milk you’d been able to pump. Just enough to keep her satisfied for an hour or two.

“I-” He starts but you don’t let him finish, sending him a glare that told him you were fucking pissed and not to push you lest you snap his stupid neck. 

“Don’t.” The single word cuts through the air and makes Sukuna freeze in the doorway before he realizes he’s letting in cold air and closes it, taking his shoes off and carefully stepping further into the living room. Moving lightly, as if every step he took could set off a ticking bomb.

“What happened?” He asks after a few moments, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, unsure of how to help at this point. Afraid of saying the wrong thing when you were in this state, knowing he was completely in the wrong and had no justification. 

You huff out a laugh. “What happened?” 

He glares, eyes squinting as he says “That’s what I asked.” and the fucking audacity has you fuming, ears heated as you keep your voice low in consideration of your currently calmed baby.

“I couldn’t get her to feed for ten fucking minutes Sukuna. You were too busy fucking other women and I was here, calling you for help while you ignored me and your daughter. I was alone, so thanks for that.” 

His guilt immediately turned to anger at the sound of you calling him by his middle name, because you never call him that. But he wasn’t mad at you. Because of course he was wrong, he knew that, you knew that but unfortunately for him and you, sitting with guilt had never been something he was good at. 

“You weren’t alone.” He grumbles, running a hand through his tousled hair. 

Your leg stops shaking, hand tightening (only a little) around the bottle and a dangerous chill filled the room as you glared daggers at the man in front of you. If he was joking it wasn’t fucking funny and if he was serious then you’d just have to kill him. 

“Excuse me?” 

Sukuna sighs and runs a hand down his face, but he doesn’t back down because his anger is hot and had always been good at getting him in trouble. 

“You could’ve called someone.” 

You laugh louder than you meant to, your daughter stirring in her half sleep state reminding you that she was still there. You fight back the tears you feel burning in your eyes, not wanting to give this asshole the satisfaction of seeing you weak.

“I called her father.” 

You couldn’t tell him that you were also worried about him, how your mind raced when he didn’t answer your calls. You knew how crazy frat parties could get, what if he fell in the pool and drowned? Too drunk to swim to the surface while everyone around him was too drunk to notice him. 

It was too bad you both were angry and angry people didn’t always say the right things. Fuck this guy. You stood and stormed to your room, closing the door behind you and letting a few tears fall. 

You waited until your baby was done drinking, sound asleep again as you sat the bottle down and patted her back, stopping when she let out a little burp. As gently as possible, you kissed her cheek and laid her on her stomach in the bassinet on your bed. 

You were heated and far from done with Sukuna, leaving the door cracked back open and basically stomping into the living room. He was sitting on the couch now, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

“One week and four days.” You cross your arms and stand in front of him, ignoring how beautiful he looked, how you wanted to climb on his lap and ride him right there. "You've been a father for one week. You couldn’t even make it a month."

He’s standing now too, his hands balled at his side as he glares down at you, towering over you and forcing you to tilt your head back to stare up at him. 

“That’s not fair. I’ve been by your fucking side since we left that hospital, what else do you want from me woman?” 

“Fair?!” You yell back, your own hands now shaking at your side. “Are you serious Sukuna?” 

“Stop fucking calling me that!” 

“Fuck you dude!” 

Before he can stop himself he’s pulling you by your waist with both hands and you don’t stop him. He’s scowling down at you, upset at how beautiful you look even when you want to kill him and he hates himself for fucking up this badly. 

All the effort he put in to show you he was different had now seemed meaningless.

“You knew exactly who I was when you decided to keep her. You knew my reputation and that I partied and fucked around. You knew I wasn't some perfect fucking family man.” 

“Ryomen.” You whisper, eyes wide because the feeling of his hands on your body was sending you spiraling, making you forget that you hated his guts right now. His fingers digging lightly into your waist, face moving dangerously close to yours. 

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and exhaling before looking at you again. Your heart is going crazy, pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears, hear the blood rushing.

“I’m sorry, alright? You both deserve better than me but i’m what you got and i’m trying my best here so cut me some fucking slack.. Please.” He leans his forehead against yours and you’re crying and lightly shaking your head ‘yes’ because it was true. You knew the kind of person he was and you still wanted him anyway. He made you so fucking stupid.

“For the record I didn’t fuck anyone. Couldn’t even bring her to my room without seeing your fucking face, it was embarassing.” 

You release a shaky breath and nod again as his nose brushes against yours, anger still simmering in your chest. Neither of you move, though his hands on your hips tighten as he pulls you closer, flush against his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers again, one hand creeping up your back until he’s holding your head and rubbing his thumb up and down, sending chills through your body. When he’s sure you’re comfortable with that, he moves the same hand to your face, thumb rubbing across your bottom lip.  

“You already said that.” 

And his lips are just above yours now but you don’t move, and he’s slow enough to give you the opportunity to pull away. You don’t. Stupid.

“I know.” 

The kiss is soft, lacking the desperation usually present in your make out sessions and when he moaned against your mouth it was soft, more like a sigh of relief than anything. You’re kissing him back, hand moving to scratch at the back of his head just how he likes it and Sukuna is gone, all the fight leaving his body as he lifts you and smirks at the way your legs instinctively wrap around him. 

Neither of you say anything, Sukuna doesn’t even break your kiss as he starts walking you toward his room, tongue slipping in your mouth and he’s so fucking hard he feels like his cock is going to rip through his sweats. He knows it’s too soon to fuck you but there were other ways he could show you just how sorry he was. 

Your eyes roll back when you feel his hand snaking under your shirt and up your back. When he found your bra he unclasped it, letting it fall to the ground between your bodies and your nipples were instantly cold from the milk that had started to leak. 

“In so much pain.” You pushed your chest against his, hoping he’d know what you meant because you would die before saying it out loud. “Need you to fix it.” 

His pupils are blown, a smug smirk forming on his face and you hate the way your cheeks heat in embarrassment. ‘Yeah? Fuck, baby- i’ve been waiting for this day.” 

He sets you on the bed gently, laying your body back as he climbs over you, making sure to be careful of your belly that hasn't completely gone down yet. You’re so desperate that you push him back and sit up, ripping your shirt off before throwing it across the room and laying back down. 

Sukuna’s eyes are trailing over your body and he’s taking in a deep breath when they land on your still leaking nipples. You swear his eyes almost roll back but then he’s on you, kissing you with a need that rivals your own, tongue slipping in your mouth as he reaches a hand up and squeezes your boob. 

When you hiss out in pain, he look at you with concerned eyes and fuck, you hate when he looks at you like he cares. Like you actually mean something to him. “That bad?” You nod and then he’s wasting no time, moving his head down until he’s hovered over your chest. 

“Which one hurts more?” He asks and when you point to your left one, he’s popping the nipple in his mouth, sucking hard, hand lightly caressing it to coax the milk out. 

The relief isn’t immediate. It takes a few moments before the milk lets down and starts flowing into his mouth and Sukuna is grinding his hips half into the mattress, cock leaking precum already. 

“Taste ‘s sweet, mmm fuck.” He flicks his tongue against your nipple and you cry out, one hand in his hair and the other moving to touch your pussy that’s clenching against literally nothing. You felt so desperate, so needy and this wasn’t enough. 

Sukuna is lost, drinking to his heart's content and savoring every drop your body gives him. If someone had told him this would be his life right now, he’d laugh in their face and tell them they were fucking stupid. Now here he was, humping his mattress and sucking the milk from your tits, loving every second of it. Your cries and moans filling his head with awful, possessive thoughts. 

He moves to your other boob and sucks until you’re completely satisfied and he feels so fucking full on your milk, so fucking filthy but he doesn’t care. Gladly licking at the corners of his mouth to greedily lap up whatever he missed. 

When he’s done he sits up on his knees, looking down at you with pride and lust. You were so fucking perfect even after carrying his child and he was possessed with a need to do it again. To stuff you full until you were pregnant again. He ignored that thought and moved your hand from your leaking cunt, letting his own fingers take over. 

“M’ not done yet baby.”

Before you can process what’s happening, Sukuna is lifting you, and flipping your body so that he was laid on the bed and you were seated on his lap, his hard cock rubbing so beautifully against your needy pussy.  

“Ride it.” His large hands grip your ass and drag you up his length and you’re crying out, head thrown back as you start to slowly move your hips back and forward. 

“Uhhhh, oh g-god.” You sob, the feeling euphoric as you grind down harder, upset that you weren’t healed enough to really fuck him. You started mentally counting down the days until he could fill you again, taking what you could get for now. 

Sukuna moves a hand to grope your tit, squeezing lightly and rubbing the drop of milk across your nipple. It was animalistic and you should be appalled but you only cried louder, moving your hips faster. His hand was helping you, pulling your body back and forth as he grinded his hips up into you. 

“Miss you s’much baby, need to feel you around me.” 

You grind faster, angrier because you remember that you’re supposed to hate him right now and he deserves to be punished. You lean forward, hands gripping at his shoulders as you drag your cunt back and forth, feeling his cock grow impossibly harder and you have him right where you want him.

“I’m so close!” You cry as that all too familiar knot starts to form in your stomach. Sukuna’s holding your hips with both hands now, mouth slightly open and his face flushed with his impending release. He’s pulling you desperately against him, only lifting his lips a little to add more pressure and you tuck your head into his neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark as your orgasm crashes into you. 

“Ryo! Oh god, I'm cumming!” 

It’s desperate, the way you rock into him, white pulsing pleasure ripping through you as you experience your first post-birth orgasm. Sukuna’s hands tighten around your hips, and he’s pushing into you to help you ride it out. 

“Don’t stop, m’gonna cum in my fucking pants.” 

Fuck him. As soon as your high dies down, you’re pulling your body off of his and laying on the bed next to him. He’s pissed, you can practically feel the heat radiating off his body. You ignore him, closing your eyes and smiling in victory as he huffs out a breath in annoyance. 

“That’s fucking cruel.”

It’s Monday again and Sukuna’s getting ready for his morning lecture, running about the apartment and packing his daughter’s baby bag, making sure the bottles you pumped the previous night were stored correctly. It took a lot of convincing, but you finally agreed to let him take the baby to university with him. It was just for the first class, long enough to allow your still healing body to actually rest. 

When you asked him if he was concerned about what everyone would say, he dead panned you, annoyed you’d even ask him such a stupid question. “When have I ever given you the impression that I give a fuck what others think?” 

And he never did, which is why he’s strapping his daughter into her carseat, letting his long finger rub at her cheek as she stares at him with eyes just like his. His heart skips a beat, like it always does whenever she looks at him like he was someone of importance. Like he wasn’t an asshole to everyone but her. 

“Ready brat?” He adjusts the hat on her little head, making sure her mittens are secured and her blankets are tucked properly and keeping her warm. He sighed as he double checked her straps, ensuring that she wouldn’t accidentally fall out and left out the door, careful to not wake you. 

The drive to the school takes longer than necessary, Sukuna refusing to drive a mile above the speed limit without you back there with the baby. When he finally pulls into the university parking lot, he’s almost late to his lecture. He’s rushing out the car, pulling his daughter’s carseat and making sure she was ok. Sound asleep.

He only realizes he forgot her stroller when he’s walking to the building his class is taking place in. 

"Fuck."

A student walking past glances over. Then he does a double take. Then a triple take. Because Sukuna, known playboy, frat menace, and soccer star, is carrying a baby carseat!

The student nearly walks into a trash can but Sukuna keeps walking and ignoring the many stares he gets, picking up his pace to get his daughter out of the cold even though he had put three blankets over her.

One guy even says “No fucking way.” Sukuna just rolls his eyes and looks down at his daughter. She’s sound asleep but when her little mouth opens and she yawns, tiny pink tongue covered in leftover milk from her morning feed, his chest almost caves in. 

"Is that a baby?"

"No way that's his."

"Holy shit that's Sukuna."

"I thought the pregnancy rumors were fake."

It’s the same thing over and over and Sukuna grows annoyed and overly protective of his tiny cargo, snapping at an innocent freshman that stares a little too long. 

"What?" He stops walking, staring right back at him.

"N-Nothing."

"Then stop fucking staring."

By the time he makes it to his lecture hall, the professor is setting up slides and the room is quieting down. People stare as he moves down the stairs, eyes looking for a spot to sit when he spots an open seat by Gojo, Geto and Choso, the white haired moron grinning and waving him over. 

He ignores the looks he’s getting and moves into the aisle, walking until he’s near his friends and sitting down with an annoyed huff. He places the carseat and baby bag on the ground next to his feet and pulls his laptop from his bag, checking to make sure his daughter was still asleep before opening the docs app to take notes. 

When he looks up the professor is smiling at him but says nothing. Gojo nudges him when he doesn’t look and Sukuna is reluctantly looking at his friend who he really didn’t have the energy to deal with. 

“What the fuck do ya want?”

Gojo smirks while Geto and Choso frown at their friend, leaning forward in their seats to try to get a view of the baby. Sukuna had only sent a picture in their group chat after she had been born and left it at that. 

“We want to see the baby dude, we don’t care about you!” Geto shrieks and Sukuna smirks, pride creeping out before he could stop it. 

“Tough shit, she’s sleeping and I'll tear you apart if you wake her up.” He adjust the hat on his head and starts typing, pretending as if the men didn’t exist. Only an hour to go.

About twenty minutes into the lecture, the baby stirs and makes a noise and Sukuna immediately stops typing. His friends snap their heads toward her, as well as the random woman to his left. She’s not crying, just staring at the fluorescent lights and making the cutest newborn sounds, a mitten covered hand escaping the blanket. 

“Oh my god.” Gojo cries, hearts forming in his blue eyes as the others nearly break their necks to look. 

Sukuna frowns at the baby, reaching down to unbuckle her as the professor continues her lecture. He’s careful when he lifts her and she’s doing the newborn stretch, her little body scrunched up before settling in his her fathers arms. Sukuna wants to cry. 

“She’s so tiny!” Choso coos and Sukuna fights the urge to say no shit. His friends meant no harm, at least that’s what you would say so he bites his tongue. 

His little mini lets out another tiny noise and blinks up at him with those stupidly familiar eyes.

His eyes.

It still baffled him that this tiny person was half him, that she was his spitting image, something so innocent in the hands of someone like him. She was perfect and he was terrified of ever disappointing her, of being the man his father was-

Gojo is clutching Geto's arm so hard the other man looks seconds away from throwing him through a wall.

"Look at her."

"I'm looking."

"Look harder!"

Sukuna holds her with one arm, the other reaching into the baby bag to pull out a clean blanket. He lays it across his chest and places her on it, hand holding her bum, chin resting lightly on the top of her head as he attempts to pay attention to the professor. 

Gojo reaches a hand forward and before Sukuna can yell at him to put hand sanitizer on before he touches his daughter, she’s wrapping a gloved hand around his pale finger. Gojo looks like he just witnessed the creation of the universe. 

“She knows who her godfather is.” Sukuna doesn’t respond to that, only pulling his daughter closer to his chest and letting the man believe whatever he wanted to.

Ten minutes later, the pink haired newborn is falling asleep again when the girl to the left speaks up and Sukuna almost rolls his eyes. Has no one seen a fucking baby before?

“Aww she’s adorable!” The woman reaches a hand out to touch his daughter and Sukuna acts on instinct, grabbing her wrist and pushing it away. 

The woman is flustered but obviously can’t take a hint because she continues babbling, oblivious to the child’s father’s rising anger. 

“What’s her name?” 

Sukuna grumbles and keeps his eyes on the front of the class, half paying attention as his daughter squirms on his chest, but stays sound asleep. 

“(Daughter's name).” 

“That’s such a beautiful name! I actually have an aunt with the same one-”

His baby coo’s in her sleep, still gripping Gojo’s finger, the man refusing to move even if his muscles were growing sore, using his other hand to clumsily type on his laptop. 

"Awww, that’s too cute. Do babies always make that noise?"

Sukuna is immediately overwhelmed and wishes she’d stop talking to him so he could actually fucking focus.

"What the fuck do I know?"

She laughs. “You’re her dad silly! So is her mom around?” 

Sukuna lets a small smirk form at the thought of you, mindlessly listening to the professor talk about economics while tracking his daughter's breathing. 

“Yeah, my girlfriend is around.” 

The woman’s eyes widen as she snaps her head forward and finally listens to what the professor is saying. She didn’t look at him for the rest of the class. Sukuna thinks this is going to be the longest three months of his life until he graduates, if this is what he has to deal with. 

note: the picture change!! 🥹 we've entered fratkuna's dad era. i'm so grateful for @495lz for creating this masterpiece for my series, shout out to them! also, what would you name yours and sukuna's baby? tell meeee (mine is ayame) 💖

the baby scrunch 😭

sukuna's photo album 💕

Now here you were, spending the last day of your summer break sitting in your obgyn’s office instead of going to another one of those parties, listening to her explain how the specific birth control you were on requires a full seven to eight days to be fully effective and you were right at that mark when you decided to let Sukuna fuck you stupid without protection. You were laughing, pulling at your hair while tears poured down your face. You looked and felt like you were spiraling.

“As for the plan b.. sometimes these things just don’t work properly, I'm truly sorry.” Your doctor explained as gently as possible, but it was background noise at this point. 

You had shit luck, a dark curse that wouldn’t step off your fucking neck. I mean, you couldn’t even get fucked after a year of celibacy without getting pregnant! You could still feel the way his hands burned against your skin as he caressed your entire body and fucked you dumb. You wondered what he was doing now, if he even remembered you out of the sea of women he probably fucked over break. 

God, you felt like the world's biggest clown. Ryomen Sukuna of all people got you pregnant on his first try, a cruel joke really. Nanami had warned you about all of his frat brothers before you moved to town a few months before summer break, constantly calling to tell you how immature and reckless they were and how he wished he never joined the fraternity. You would giggle, never taking him too seriously because you knew just how much he cared about them from the sheer amount of times he’d talk about them. 

“Sukuna has another woman over, it’s been a week of nonstop moaning! I share a wall with the prick, you would think he’d have the decency to tell his dates to not be so loud.” He’d complain and in the same breath, compliment the man and his athletic skills. One time you’d been on the phone with Nanami and you heard loud groaning obviously coming from a woman before your brother yelled I’m gonna kill you Sukuna! apologizing and hanging up before you could respond.

Needless to say your curiosity in the mystery man peaked and when you saw him at the party, you could hardly control yourself. You had seen a few pictures of him on Nanami’s social media but he was a different beast in person. Tall enough to tower over everyone, bulging muscles that had you wondering what they’d feel like around your neck, and his face tattoos were a total turn on.

You noticed him watching you, red eyes glaring daggers at every man you danced with and so you put on a show in an attempt to get him to talk to you but he kept his distance the entire night. So when he finally did speak to you—even if it was to curse you out for drinking his water— no one could actually blame you for letting him drag you to his room and fuck you into the mattress. 

“Based on the time you say you were last sexually active, I’d put you around the fourteen weeks mark but I want to set you up with our ultrasound tech so we can measure the baby and get an accurate due date for you.” 

You nodded absently, your entire body chilled and your hands shaking as they began to sweat. You didn’t know anything about taking care of a child! You were about to be a junior in college and only just decided on your major before the cut off, how would you make decisions about another life? Your baby.. Sukuna’s baby. 

You should tell him, of course you should but what the fuck would you even say? You knew his reputation and you still slept with him anyways. There was no way someone like him would ever step up, play pretend at being a family, want anything to do with you or the child. There’s a strong possibility he’d transfer schools before he did that. Nothing about him screamed father material.

Your mind was running wild and only a soft hand atop of yours pulled you from the deep pit you found yourself stuck in. You looked up, teary eyes attempting to focus on your doctor as she smiled sympathetically at you. 

“There are other options.”

Three hours later you stood in front of the mirror in your dorm room, shirt pushed above your belly just enough to see that while your stomach was mostly the same size, if you stared long enough you could make out a very small bump. A very real reminder of the night you shared with Sukuna.

You lowered your shirt and looked at the photo in your hand, fighting down the wave of nausea that hit you without warning. The thing hardly looked human, more alien like than anything but you were able to make out the little head and the nubs for hands and feet. In another life you may have found it kinda cute but instead it made you sick.

You didn’t have a maternal bone in your body, there was no way you could be a mother to this thing, and yet you still hadn’t scheduled that appointment with the clinic your doctor recommended. Telling yourself that Sukuna deserved to at least know before you went through with anything, since it was his child too. 

You had to force yourself out of bed the next day. It was the first day of classes, almost eighty degrees outside and you were wearing a hoodie with sweatpants, barely throwing your hair in a messy bun and totally forgoing makeup. Your roommate Yuki had looked at you like you grew an extra head, asking if you were trying to pass out but you only shrugged and moved your bag up your shoulder. How were you supposed to tell her that all of the clothes you had were skin tight and would definitely show the new bump you were sporting seemingly overnight? 

“You look like death.” She looped her arm with yours and pulled you out the door.

As you walk through campus together, you’re hyperaware of everything. The side eyes people give you, the nausea settling in your stomach, the way your heart thumps a little harder as you get closer to the building your lecture hall is in. You wondered if anyone could tell, if you’d bump into him. It was bound to happen but you wanted to push it off for as long as you could.

You hadn’t even seen or talked to your own brother since you found out, fucking terrified at his reaction because Nanami would absolutely be able to tell. The man never missed anything  when it came to you, ever the protective brother since the day your parents brought you home from the police station. You were grateful he spent his summer abroad. 

“You’re awfully quiet today.” Yuki hummed, pulling you into the building. You were grateful she was there, having grown close to her when Shoko introduced you two after she found out you’d be transferring to their school. If not for her steady grip on your arm, you might have dropped to your knees when a head of pink hair appeared in the hall. 

Walking into the exact fucking class you were. He looked the same, maybe a little tanner from the summer heat but he was still the same person. Still looming over everyone around him, sunglasses atop his head that pushed his pink hair back, same tattoos but it looked like he added a few extra to his arms, dressed in a black shirt that showed off every muscle, and grey pants.

You froze, heart racing as he disappeared through the doors. Fuck, could your day get any worse? You had no plans on seeing him today but you also couldn’t skip the first lecture of this class. The professor was known to be a notoriously harsh grader and you couldn’t afford to miss even the most miniscule of information. God fucking dammit.  

“Hey, you okay?” Shit, you’d forgotten Yuki was with you, the sight of Sukuna making your brain fog with nothing but him and the little souvenir he left you. The one that had your stomach churning as you attempted to fight back the rising bile. 

“Yeah sorry.” You give her a false smile, choosing to ignore the way her scrunched up face said she didn’t believe you but would drop it for now. 

Walking into the room took every ounce of strength you had, your only saving grace being that the room was crowded which meant you could blend in easily and avoid your baby daddy. Your entire body was chilled from the fear of having to tell him the truth, you hadn’t even practiced what you planned to say to him. Hello! I know you probably don’t remember me but we hooked up a few months ago. I'm pregnant and it’s yours, surprise! 

You inwardly cringed and snapped back to reality. 

Intro to Programming was a relatively popular elective so you shouldn’t have been surprised to see him there. You had planned to hide away in the back, keep your head down and pray to god he didn’t turn and see you. Again, you had terrible luck because as soon as you turned to find a seat in the top row, he was already sitting in the middle, arms crossed, legs wide open and scowling at everyone and no one at the same time. And right next to him was the second person you wanted to avoid today, your brother. 

Fuck fuck fuck! Before you could make a run for it, Nanami spotted you and Yuki was pulling away and yelling “Choso!” before leaving you to fend for yourself. You were stuck, face burning while standing there like an idiot as other students pushed past you, shooting you glares for being in their way. 

Nanami was smiling and waving you over, pointing to the free seat on the other side of Sukuna that you absolutely were not going to sit in. Then he turned his head, red eyes staring through your soul and the smirk that he gave you had your head spinning, a familiar ache forming between your legs. God, you felt so pathetic. Here you were, simultaneously about to throw up and cum at the sight of the man that had completely rocked your world. 

Looking around the room, you noticed the other seats were filled and the room was quieting as the professor started making their way to the podium. Fuck my fucking life! You were left with no choice but to squeeze your way into the top row, mumbling apologies to the people you passed before flopping your ass into the seat next to Sukuna. Making a point to ignore his and your brother's gaze. 

“You okay (name)? I tried calling you twice yesterday but you’re avoiding me for some reason.” Nanami was clearly hurt, you could see his pouty face from your peripheral view, however you didn’t have the bandwidth to be a good sister right now. Barely had the energy to breathe as you were actively fighting back the vomit rising in your throat, stomach flipping as Sukuna’s cologne clouded your senses. 

You pulled your laptop and water bottle from your bag before placing it at your feet. You ignored your brother and started chugging from it, grateful that it was just barely delaying the massive puking session you knew was coming. With enough of your senses returned, you looked to your brother, ignoring the goliath of a man sitting between you two. You could feel his eyes on you and it was overwhelming, almost like he had an extra set of eyes beckoning you to look at him. 

Before you could even respond, Sukuna was speaking and your entire body went cold. You forgot how deep and masculine his voice was, how addicted you had been to it while he was calling you a good girl and fucking your brains out. Reaching depths no one else ever had..

“Who’s your friend Nanami?” You couldn't stop yourself from staring at him, metaphorical hearts all but forming in your eyes at the way he was already looking at you. Fireworks were exploding in your chest. This man was pretending he didn’t know you, as if you hadn’t spent your entire summer thinking about the way he dominated you and left you forever changed. As if his child wasn’t growing in your belly right now as a result of the reckless night you shared together almost four months ago. 

“My sister.” Nanami hesitated, a look of wariness on his face and you knew it was because he didn’t want you having anything to do with his frat brothers. If only he knew. “Sukuna this is (name), (name) this is Sukuna. I told you about him, we’re in the same fraternity together and both play for the school’s soccer team.” 

Sukuna licked his lips, fighting back a smile before unfolding his arms and sticking his huge hand towards you. “Nice to meet you.” 

Oh my god, you were going to combust. You had to shake his hand, lest Nanami became suspicious but you were too busy staring into his eyes like he painted the damn sky, your breath hitched and panties absolutely starting to soak. You blamed your heightened attraction to him on the pregnancy. Not that you were a whipped whore who got off to the thought of him breeding you more times than you cared to remember, and craved for him to do it again. 

“Class is starting.” Nanami frowns at you then Sukuna before turning to the professor that was lecturing students about her expectations of them. 

Sukuna lowered his hand but the smirk on his face never faded. He shot you a wink before turning to face the front of the class, leaving you a mess of blushes and trembling legs. 

About forty minutes into the lecture, you couldn’t hold the vomit in anymore. You didn’t even have time to grab your stuff before you were bolting upright and sprinting out the room, your hand pressed against your mouth in an attempt to keep it in until you reached the bathroom. The universe was on your side because there had been one right around the corner and you apologetically pushed past a dark haired girl, bursting into a stall before falling over the toilet and hurling up the puke that had been antagonizing you for the past hour. You couldn’t hear her cursing you out over the sound of your stomach emptying. 

You hadn’t really eaten much so you were mostly left dry heaving after a few seconds, sweat beading on your forehead and your entire body shaking. You didn’t know how long you were in there but when the dizziness finally passed, you weakly stood and flushed the toilet. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror was hard. You hadn’t done your makeup so you had dark spots under your eyes, your skin absent of any warmth and your hair a mess. Everything about this sucked and you couldn’t help but admire the strength of all the mothers out there. You felt like you were on your death bed, moving your shaky hands to fix your hair until it was decent enough for you to walk out the bathroom with some kind of confidence. 

Only you immediately paused as you saw Sukuna standing across the hall, leaned against the wall with your bag in his hand and his own thrown over his shoulder, glasses still pushed atop his head and the sight had you instantly panicking. You couldn’t just run away, he had your shit. 

Then he was looking up, holding your bag out to you and grinning like he checkmated you, and now you would be forced to acknowledge him. Your fingers digging into your palms hard enough to leave a mark but you could hardly feel it as your brain had reprogrammed itself to ignore anything that wasn’t him. 

“Avoding me?” He pushed himself off the wall and moved to stand in front you as you slowly moved out of the bathroom entrance and stepped into the hallway. “You sick or some shit?” He handed you your bag back, explaining that he put the stuff you left in there. 

Yes and it’s your fault you fucking prick. Is what you wanted to say but instead you took the bag and mumbled a “thanks” before hooking it around your shoulder. You ignored his second comment, knowing you couldn't really answer that question without sending him running the opposite way. Far away from you and any responsibility toward your group project. 

“I’m perfectly fine.” A lie. “Where’s Nanami?” 

He frowned before reaching a hand toward your face and tucking a loose strand behind your ear, watching as you took in a sharp breath. He let his hand trace your jaw before his thumb rubbed over your lip and you were overwhelmed with the urge to grab his hand and move it to where you actually needed him to touch you. What was it about this man that left you so dense? Your body had never reacted like this before, not even to your ex boyfriend who you’d been with for two years.

Sukuna was some kind of sex demon that left you slutted out and craving for more. You didn’t even care that people passing by were looking, and he obviously didn't either as he let his hand fall, grazing the crest between your breasts and then your stomach. 

You quickly stepped back at that, not wanting him to get so close to the truth without having told him yourself. HIs face was neutral, he didn't look like he suspected anything but you could never be too sure. 

“He had another class to get to, said he’d reach out later. Wanna answer my question now?” 

You didn’t but the man was persistent and you were entirely too weak for him. Sukuna was not the boyfriend type and if the rumors around campus were true, he never fucked the same person twice so you would be wasting your time indulging in his antics. 

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Mmm, yeah? Prove it.” His eyes trailed lazily over your face and you suddenly regretted not doing your makeup today, too lost to your mind to function properly. 

“Sukuna..” You pouted at his twitching lips that you stopped yourself from leaning forward and kissing. “Don’t you have like fifty other girls lined up to fuck? I’m not interested.” 

He laughed at that but it was low and full of lust, and the vibrations it sent through your body had your pussy clinching against nothing but hopes and dreams. You were confused at the fact that he was even talking to you right now. It went against everything you’d been told about him. 

“Who said I wanted to fuck you? Maybe I just wanna be friends with you, who knows? I guess you’ll find out when you stop by the house for our party tonight.” 

He started walking away before looking over his shoulder one last time. “Wear that little attitude again too. Was cute watching it disappear last time.”

Later that night while you were sprawled against your bed, panting into the pillow as you’d just got done throwing up again, Sukuna was laughing to himself at the party. You hadn’t shown, just like he thought you wouldn’t, because you were avoiding him, just as he said you were. 

He shouldn’t have cared but he did, which is why he was able to convince a very drunk Yuki who was clinging to Choso like a koala, to tell him how to get to your dorm. She grilled him at first, clearly protective of you but a little convincing from his emo friend and she was singing. 

Sukuna typically didn’t care to fuck the same woman twice, telling himself that shit was for loser that couldn’t pull more than one girl but that urge he had for you hadn’t been tamed over his very long break and he needed to be inside of you. If only to get your nagging presence out his head. He told himself he’d never talk to you again after this, one more fuck and he’d be satisfied enough to move onto the next woman. You weren’t special, just a nuisance, an itch that needed to be scratched and that’s why he was standing outside of your room right now. 

The knock that came at your door had you groaning into your pillow before looking at your phone that read 11:53 pm and sighing in annoyance. Yuki must have forgotten her key because no one else would be at your door at this time, unless the numerous texts to Nanami that you were fine hadn’t been enough and he decided to harass you in person for answers. 

“I’m coming!” You yelled when the person knocked again, a little louder this time. You banged your head against your pillow before standing, pulling down your rising strawberry spaghetti strap shirt and turning on the lamp by your bed. It had been pitch black as you nursed a headache you developed from the sheer force of the last vomit session you had two hours ago.

Once you got to the door, you looked through the hole and immediately threw your back to it. What in the fuck was he doing here? OH MY GOD, why wouldn’t he leave you alone? Your heart was pounding in your ears as you listened to him chuckle and talk from the other side while you actively fought the urge to shrivel up and die. 

“C’mon sweetheart, I know you’re in there. You flicking it or something?” And you were definitely going to die, not murderously but from the pure embarrassment you felt that he knew you were hiding from him, and oh- how the fuck did he find your room or even manage to get in the building? 

“You scared of me?” 

You finally snap and unlock the door, pulling it open roughly as he smiles at you. “There she is.” and you hate how quickly your pulse jumps, how your body instantly reacts to his teasing and most of all, that you had never wanted him to fuck you more. 

He was dressed in black jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket with his hat on backwards. It was such a simple outfit but it had your pussy throbbing, his cologne hitting you in waves that had you instantly lusting. 

“What do you want, Sukuna? I already told you-”

“You’re not interested. I heard you, but I don’t believe that. Not when you were looking at me in class like you wanted to climb me right there. I fuck you too hard last time or what?” 

The question left you stunned at his straightforwardness, his eyebrow arched as he waited for you to answer. This man was dead serious and so full of himself, he was going to be the death of you. 

“You’re insane.” You huff and move over to let him in. 

“And you look beautiful.” 

You laugh at that, genuinely laugh because you know you look a hot mess right now. Your hair was left to its own devices after your shower, your eyes were dark from the lack of sleep and you were wearing old pajamas that barely fit you, shorts rising up your ass even after you yank them back down. You were sure to keep your arms folded in front of you, in case he decided to stare too hard at your stomach. You shouldn’t have let him in.

“You think flirting with me is gonna work?” 

He steps all the way inside and closes the door, only about 5 inches off from being as tall as it is. You swallowed hard, trying to forget how it felt having his body between your legs, long fingers stretching you open after a year of not getting fucked. 

“Don’t have to work that hard anymore, I already slept with you.” 

And the cocky bastard grins while your ears practically catch fire, moving closer until he was towering over you and grabbing your waist in his hands. You didn’t stop him as he pulled you closer and rubbed circles against your hips, though he was entirely too close to your stomach. No, you were too busy staring at the man as if he were the creator himself, eyes wide and glossy as you lost yourself in his red ones. 

“You bast-hmmm” 

Sukuna doesn’t let you finish, smashing his lips against yours and it’s somehow even more aggressive than it was the first time, teeth and tongue colliding as he squeezes your waist and easily lifts you. Your legs wrap around his waist as if that were home and your arms moved to his neck, hand ripping his hat off and playing with his hair. 

“I need you, give me more.” And the desperation in his voice has you moaning and throwing your head back while he licked and sucked on your pulse, hands moving to hold your ass as he walked you to the bed that smelled most like you. 

You were surprised at the gentleness he showed while laying you down, because Sukuna was anything but sweet last time. He had fucked you like a god but he was taking his time now, peppering your face with soft kisses before he was sitting up and shrugging his jacket and shoes off. 

When you went to sit up and help, he pushed you back down by the shoulder. “Tsk tsk, we have all night for that. I didn’t get to taste you last time and I’ve been thinking about how sweet you probably are all fucking summer. Don’t move until I tell you to, mkay?” 

And of course, you were nodding your head like a dumbass and watching as he removed his shirt like your life depended on it. You barely fucking blinked, eyes burning and Sukuna chuckled, “Good girl.”

Once he was left in nothing but his boxers, he grabbed onto the waistband of your shorts and pulled them and your panties off, throwing them on the floor behind him before crawling over you again. His huge body hovering over yours as he kisses you softly, licking and biting your bottom lip before kissing his way down your neck, your hand on his head encouraging him.  

Sukuna stopped at your covered breasts, kissing at each of them and promising he would give them attention later. The comment alone had your juices trickling down your thighs and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. You only realized what he was doing once he kissed your stomach and his entire body froze. Your heart was basically in your ass at this point, looking down at him as he stared up at you with a frown. 

“What?” You moved to sit up, an excuse already on the tip of your tongue before he pushed you back, blinking himself out of his stupor. 

“Fuck- sorry, I spaced out, s’nothing. Where were we?” 

You didn’t have time to grill him because he was lowering his face between your legs, eyes locked on you the entire time. You audibly gasped when he lifted each of your thighs and placed them on his shoulders. 

“Fucking starving, pretty. Can I eat you, please?” 

You nodded your head so fast you felt dizzy, choking out a “P-please!” and this man was such a beast that he didn’t give himself any buildup, immediately put his lips over your pussy and slurped hard, mouth wide open as he drank all the juices you’d been dripping for him.

“Oh-fuck, y-yess Ryo, just like that.” You cried out, completely clueless as to why everytime this man was on you, you were calling him by his first name. He didn’t seem bothered by it, humming against your sweet sweet cunt before licking a long stripe and focusing on your clit. 

He was sucking and moving his head in circles, tongue pressed flat against the nub and he was literally trying to smother himself against your pussy, holding your waist and pulling you tight against him as he consumed you whole. You’d think your juices were actually filling him up.

“ S’good” he mumbled but you had no idea what he was saying with his face buried between your thighs.

Your moans were something out of a porno as you reached down and threaded your fingers into his pink locs, pulling and riding his face. He was flicking his tongue so good, up and down, side to side, spelling his name and letting it slide into your hole, moving it in and out. He was a pro pussy eater and after only a minute of the motion, your stomach was squeezing and pussy contracting, oozing juices into his mouth and his eyes were rolling back as he groaned in encouragement.

“I’m- c-cumingggg Ryo, uhhhh, oh my g-god.” Your nipples harden as your orgasm ripples through you, feeling every wave of pleasure make your body buzz with excitement, your mouth going dry as you lifted one hand to pinch your nipples, the other still in his hair.   

He kept eating you until your legs fell from his shoulders, your hand loosening from his hair and you were breathing hard trying to recover from the mind numbing orgasm you’d just experienced. 

“Can’t wait baby, need you now.”

He shifted to push his boxers down just enough to free his cock, laying back over you and spreading your legs as he settled his long body between them. He started rubbing his hard length between your pussy lips, covering his tip in your juices before slowly pushing forward. 

You were squeezing him so tightly that all Sukuna could do was close his eyes and groan loud, pushing forward in one thrust to bottom out. You cried out as the bed knocked into the wall, and he couldn’t wait for you to adjust, needed you too badly. 

He was pounding into you so deep, fucking you silly as you cried out his name and begged him to slow down while at the same time wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him closer. He laughed and lowered his head to capture your lips, his tongue dancing with yours and your spit tasted so good it was driving him crazy, making him somehow harder than he already was.

“Mmm, you're even wetter than before. Tighter too. You been saving yourself for me, baby? Missed this pretty lil pussy s’much.” His eyes were on yours, waiting for an answer as he fucked into you faster, mouth dropped open and sweat dripping down his forehead. 

The stare was too intense and made you squirm. Despite how hard he was pounding into you, his eyes were surprisingly soft and it made you feel bad for hiding the truth from him. You tried to close your eyes but he lightly slapped at your face, enough to sting but not actually hurt and your eyes snapped open, upset with yourself for liking it. What was your problem? You would have screamed at anyone else for even thinking to do something so vile, but with him it made your pussy clench harder around his dick. 

“Fucking look at me when I’m talking to you, slut. Answer me.” 

And you were closing your eyes again, crying out when he put his hands around your neck. Again, he was being uncharacteristically soft with you, barely squeezing and rubbing where his fingers dug into you. “I can’t!”

“Just try a little harder.” 

Your eyes opened, even though your vision was slightly blurry from the tears pooling in your eyes, his face screamed that he was high on your pussy. Eyebrows furrowed, mouth slightly open, veins in his neck and forehead showing themselves from how hard he was fucking into you and his eyes were only halfway open. 

“Come baby, tell me. Please.” The Ryomen Sukuna asking nicely? Hell must have frozen over and you must have been an idiot because you were whimpering out, “Im-, i-m.”

And he was grabbing your chin, pressing his forehead against yours as he kissed you roughly and pulled back again. “Fuck- I already know but I need to hear you say it. Fucking say it, baby. I’m so close-” His hips were stuttering as he fought back his orgasm.

“W-what?” You knew there was no way he knew but your blood still turned cold at the thought. Before he could respond you were gasping and throwing your head back as your second orgasm stole your vision, shirt rising so far up your stomach was left exposed, rubbing against his body and Sukuna was so close he couldn’t breathe.

Before you could stop yourself you screamed out, “I’m pregnant! Ngghh, oh god I’m fucking pregnant!” 

He groaned loud and fucked you as deep as he could. “Fuck yeah you are.” and Sukuna was shooting the biggest fucking load into you, so heavy that it was instantly leaking out of your creamy pussy and dripping onto the sheets below you. He didn’t care, he kept slamming into you as his vision went momentarily white, lightning bolts going off behind his eyes.

“S-Shit, that feels so fucking good.” He dropped his head to your neck, slowly thrusting into you, pumping out the last few drops of his high in small snaps of hips.

When he was thoroughly spent, he pulled out of you and fell to the bed next to you, his huge frame taking up most of the room and forcing your body to push against his. The only sound in the room was heaving breathing and the distant bass of music the person a few rooms down from yours was playing. You’re staring up at the ceiling in awkward silence, heart still hammering when you say the words. Out of all the ways you thought to tell him, that wasn’t one of them.

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

Sukuna pushes onto his elbow and glares down at you, pink hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat. You shrink from his look but never break contact, biting your lip awkwardly. 

“Yeah no, you definitely should have.” 

Was that betrayal you heard in his voice? You ran a hand down your face and looked away from him because if you didn’t you’d for sure start crying and make him more uncomfortable than he probably already was. Why wasn’t he already out of the door anyways? 

“It’s fine.” 

He was grabbing your chin roughly and forcing you to look at him, anger blazing in his red eyes. Your anxiety kicked into full gear as your bottom lip trembled. 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He basically growled before loosening his grip but never letting go. He was fucking pissed and obviously struggling to control himself. If the eyes didn’t give it away then his elevated breathing did and you felt so guilty, so fucking guilty at your next words. 

“It means I don’t need anything from you, don’t expect anything either.” 

He stares at you for a minute before scoffing in disgust, letting your face go so he could pull his boxers back up and sit up fully, the bed shifting under his weight. 

“How long have you known? Is it even mine?”

You gasped in rage, sitting up and pushing at his chest before standing and finding your clothes. You were fuming as you pulled your panties and shorts back up, glaring at the man as if you were willing his head to explode from looks alone. 

“Of course it’s yours, you fucking idiot! What do you think, I’m just letting a bunch of random men cum inside of me? Fuck you dude!” You were ripping that stupid shirt back down your stomach, furious that it wouldn’t stay fucking put. 

“I didn’t fucking say that!” He jumped off the bed, equally as pissed as he put his clothes back on. “I haven’t seen you in months, what the fuck am I supposed to think? How far along are you? I thought you were on birth control!” 

“Well it obviously failed, moron!” Your arms shake at your side and you wanted to hit him for doing this to you, making you so fucking stupid you forgot to tell him to put a condom on. You pushed at his chest when he moved closer to you, bending to pick up his hat before throwing it at him. 

“Get the fuck out Ryomen, I don’t want anything to do with you.” 

You gave him your back as your shoulders shook, trying and failing to hold in the tears but never making a sound, you wouldn’t give him that. Fuck that guy. 

“Shit.” You heard him whisper behind you before you felt his hand on your shoulder, attempting to turn you around but you wouldn’t budge, so he moved around you, standing in front of you and lifting your chin so he could look in your eyes. 

Tears spilled as your head was tilted back far enough to meet his gaze and you could tell he was still angry, not explosive yet but getting there.

“Please.. If it’s mine then I deserve to know, can’t fucking keep that from me. That’s fucked.”

And he was right, of course he was. You nodded your head, attempting to push down the rage that was still burning inside of you. You weren’t a little girl, you could talk to him like an adult.

“I’m fourteen weeks, I only found out yesterday. I’m, s-so ss-sorry.” You cried out, body shaking as you sobbed and put your hands over your face. Guilt coursed through your veins, you felt it deep in your bones even if you weren’t the only partly responsible. You thought the birth control would work, you didn’t know-

“Ok.” He stepped back and ran his hair through his hair. “Alright, ok. What’s the plan?” 

You lowered your hand and sniffled, shock written all over your face because what did that even mean? Why the fuck was he even still here? 

“What?” 

He glared at you as if the question was easy enough to understand. “Are you keeping it, or..” 

You froze. I mean, you hadn’t really made up your mind yet, hadn't given yourself time to think it over as you really didn’t want to acknowledge the thing growing inside of you and you only just found out. 

“I-I don’t know. I mean, you’re a fratboy and we’re in college-”

“And?” He cut you off, clearly offended at you mentioning his involvement in a fraternity. What were you supposed to think? He had a reputation and sure as fuck lived up to it. 

“And this doesn’t seem like the kind of things guys like you want.”

His expression hardened, his own hands balled at his side as he stepped closer to you. “Guys like me?” 

You regret the words but before you can take it back he keeps going, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer. “You think I’m some deadbeat loser who’d disappear the second you said you were pregnant? Because I’m in a fucking fraternity?!”

“I don’t know, I don’t fucking know you dude!” 

Sukuna lets you go and laughs against his hand, the other on his hip as he starts to pace. His face was flushed and you hated that he was attractive even when he was angry.

“Ok.. alright. Jesus Christ!" 

You stood there and let him have his meltdown, remembering exactly how you reacted when you found out and feeling empathetic. It took a few minutes before he was calm enough to start talking again and you were grateful because the silence hurt more than anything. 

“We should probably exchange numbers right? So you can let me know what you wanna do or whatever. Fuck, I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

You frown and cover yourself with your arms, basically hugging your own body and looking around the room. “I don’t think that’s-”

He looks you dead in your face and laughs at you, and you’re filled with the urge to hit him but before you can ask what could possibly be so funny, he speaks. “Do you hear yourself, woman? You’re carrying my child but acting like I’m crossing some kind of line by asking for your damn number.” 

“I guess that was kind of silly.” You frown and go to grab your phone from the nightstand, unlocking it and handing it to him. You watched anxiously as he typed in his number and sent himself a text, afraid of what would happen after tonight. Though you were slightly relieved that you weren’t carrying this alone, that the burden was now partially his. 

“I have to go but I'll be back, yeah?” He lifted his hand toward your stomach before thinking better of it and letting it fall back to his side. 

You nodded even though your eyes slightly widened, stomach dropping at the thought of him abandoning you forever but what were you supposed to do? If he decided to never show his face again then you’d have your answer and schedule that appointment-

“Don’t look like that. I gotta go back to the house, one of those drunk idiots probably set something on fire by now. Shit falls apart if I'm not there, ya know?” He grabs your hand and squeezes it lightly before letting go. 

A small laugh escapes before you can stop it, and he smirks at that, head titled when he says “There she is.” and hearts explode in your eyes. You sigh when he leans forehead and kisses your head, lingering a few seconds before pulling away.

“I’ll check on you after practice tomorrow, alright?” 

“You don’t have to-”

“I know.” His thumb brushes against your lip and he’s smiling but you can tell how nervous he is. “Gonna do it anyway. Get some rest and don’t try to avoid me again. Pretty sure we’re past that now.”

One week later..

you: i’m keeping it.. 

sukuna: i know

note: baby daddy sukuna loading.. as always your feedback is appreciated :')

how i imagine fratkuna

"...Pardon?"

"Your right arm" Sukuna's tone was casual, well.. conversational? "You haven't used it once this entire meeting. What happened?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as Lord kamo's jaw tightened visibly, his grip on the sake cup turning white just a moment before he forced his expression back into something ..resembling composure.

"...A minor injury," he said stiffly "Nothing worth discussing."

"Mm." Sukuna's eyes gleamed with faint amusement "Must have been quite the 'minor injury' if you still can't move it properly."

The official's face flushed slightly-whether from anger or embarrassment-eh it was hard to tell

"I expected more from the servants and maidens assigned to my quarters," he said, voice tight with barely covered irritation. "Some... annoying brat tried playing tricks, Got lucky with a hairpin, of all things"

He laughed, but it sounded forced..Bitter?

"Honestly, the quality of help these days is-"

"A hairpin," Sukuna repeated flatly.

"Yes? "

"And you let someone stab you with a hairpin."

The official's eye twitched.

"As I said, she got lucky"

"Clearly."

Silence stretched between them, reeaaal uncomfortable.

Sukuna took a slow sip of his own sake, watching the man's face carefully. The embarrassment was obvious-a high ranking official, injured by what he was trying very hard to frame as some 'weak, insignificant woman.'

tch. Pathetic, really.

But also... oddly specific

"Well," Sukuna said eventually, setting his cup down with casualness. "I'm sure she's learned her lesson"

"She's gone," the official snapped, then immediately seemed to regret the outburst.he cleared his throat, forcing his voice back into something calmer

"The girl disappeared the same night, Escaped somehow" His fingers drummed against the table with his good hand. "But I know she's still alive."

Sukuna raised one eyebrow slightly.

"hm..Do you now?"

"Yes" kamo leaned forward, expression hardening into something more serious. "I know she's alive, Ryomen. And I know she couldn't have gotten far-not without help."

His gaze was pointed, almost..accusatory?

"and I want you to find her for me."

Sukuna stared at him for a long moment, expression utterly unreadable.Then he laughed ,and It wasn't a kind sound.

"You want me to waste my time hunting down some runaway concubine?

"She attacked me-"

"With a hairpin," Sukuna reminded him, voice dripping with amusement. "Which you just admitted she got 'lucky' with"

The official's face twisted

"This isn't a joke-"

"No, you're right. It's not." Sukuna's smirk was sharp "It's just pathetic."

kamo's jaw clenched so hard that it looked painful.

"She's a criminal. She-"

"eh-she's probably dead already," Sukuna interrupted, waving one hand dismissively. "If she even managed to escape at all, which I doubt. Most likely collapsed somewhere outside the palace walls and died pathetically in a ditch."

He picked up his sake cup again, examining it with far more interest than he'd shown the official. well damn.

"Problem solved."

"That's not-"

"Unless," Sukuna continued, voice dropping into something more dangerous, "you're suggesting she's still here, In the palace,Right under our noses?"

The official hesitated for a moment

"er...I'm saying it's possible."

"Then you're an idiot."

....

kamo's face was red now, fists clenched against the table, but he couldn't say anything- Couldn't argue,Not without admitting how desperately he wanted to find one "mere weak woman"-not without revealing how much it bothered him that she'd gotten away. Sukuna just watched the internal struggle play out across the man's face with barely concealed entertainment

Humans were so predictable when their pride was wounded.

"IF she's alive," Sukuna said eventually, tone bored again, "she'll turn up eventually,They always do."

He stood, signaling the end of the meeting.

"Until then, I suggest you focus on matters that actually require my attention. Like the northern provinces you were babbling about earlier"

kamo remained seated, jaw working silently.

"...Of course, Lord Sukuna"

As Sukuna left the hall, he caught the man's expression one last time-frustrated, humiliated, and just seething beneath the forced composure.

Interesting,very interesting.

...

you were going to die.

well, not dramatically like- not in some grand confrontation-no, you were going to die from the sheer exhaustion and paranoia before anyone even got the chance to execute you properly.

The sun had barely risen when you'd started your one-person mission to become the most forgettable, invisible person in the entire palace.

So far, it was going...erm..poorly

"-need someone to organize the storage-"

You turned a corner before the servant could finish speaking.

yeah no, no way-not today.

Your footsteps echoed too loudly against the wooden floors as you speed walked down another corridor, heart hammering against your ribs.

gosshh how every sound felt amplified,and every shadow looked suspicious

That person walking toward you,shit-were they looking at you? Did they recognize you? Should you turn around? No, turning around looks suspicious.Just keep walking, act natural. wait What does natural even look like? girl what are you doing get tf up.

"Excuse me-"You nearly jumped out of your skin, spinning around to find a confused servant holding a stack of scrolls.

"...Do you know where the records room is?"

"No," you said too quickly, pupils blown wide from the sheer adrenaline

The servant blinked

"er...Are you alright?"

"oh im fine,never been better actually"

You turned and walked away before they could ask anything else, resisting the urge to just sprint across.

This was fine, matter of fact Everything was fine.

You just needed to stay invisible for one day..Maybe two! well Maybe for the rest of your life,nothing too bad!

and by midday, you'd successfully avoided Uraume three separate times.

The first time, you'd spotted their distinctive white hair from across the courtyard and immediately ducked behind a decorative pillar, holding your breath until they passed. The second , you'd heard their voice around a corner and promptly turned around and walked in the opposite direction,almost colliding into a guard in the process. and the third, you'd been hiding in the records room (because apparently you did know where it was) when you heard footsteps approaching and immediately dove behind a shelf of scrolls, maybe a little dramatic..

i mean,to be fair,the situation IS a littl-

"...I know you're in here."

You froze, blood turning to ice, all while Uraume's voice was calm, unbothered, and maybe a little too close.

"Lord Sukuna requested your presence an hour ago."

oh wow

"If you do not come out, I will simply wait here until you do."

You pressed yourself further against the shelf, praying that the shadows were dark enough to hide you.

....

'mercifully', the footsteps retreated

"...You cannot hide forever."

that was all you heard before the door slid shut. You waited another five minutes before finally exhaling and slumping against the shelf with your heart still racing. cliterelly, what do you even do in this situation. This was unsustainable.

But what choice did you have?

.....

by late afteroon,your chest ached from the bindings, hands were shaking slightly from the constant adrenaline,well atleast your throat was fine since you hadn't spoke with anyone...

You'd managed to find a quiet corner near the kitchens where you could sit and eat something without drawing attention,but you were still wary, evrytime rough footsteps passed by, your chopsticks slightly clattered against the bowl.

This was ridiculous.You were being ridiculous.

no one knew you were here,even if they did they couldn't possibly recognize you-You looked completely different now-different clothes,your long hair now unevely chopped, different everything.

You were safe!-

"-heard Lord Sukuna's been in a strange mood lately-"

what?

"-he's keeping that weird little scribe close to him"

"who? the rude one?"

"yeah the one that talks back..."

"i guess he finds him entertaining"

"yeah maybe he enjoys bullying him"

They laughed and moved on, leaving you sitting frozen in place.

Entertaining?? He found you entertaining?

You weren't sure if that was better or worse than being considered a threat.

........

after spending the entire day jumping at shadows, hiding from Uraume, and trying desperately not to think about the fact that somewhere in this palace, the man who'd tried to assault you was walking around freely, alive Looking for you.

Your hands clenched into fists against your robes.

you should have stabbed him harder.

You should have aimed to drag straight across his throat instead of his hand.

you should have-

"There you are."

You spun around so fast that you nearly tripped over your own feet,as Uraume stood in the doorway, expression as blank as ever. so much aura loss.

"Lord Sukuna has requested your presence,Again."

"I'm busy," you said automatically

"..You are hiding behind a decorative plant?"

"...It's a very important plant..?"

Uraume just stared at you as You stared back.

"If you do not come willingly," they said calmly, "I have been authorized to drag you."

goodbye what.

"...That seems excessive"

"I agree. Yet here we are."

ok, so let's weigh our options,Running seemed appealing but ultimately pointless. Fighting Uraume would probably result in your immediate death. Going to Sukuna's quarters meant potentially running into-

No, he wouldn't be there.He was probably in some meeting somewhere, doing whatever horrible things warlords did in meetings,You'd be fine.

"...Fine," you muttered, stepping out from behind the plant with as much dignity as you could manage.

well..Which wasn't much..

Uraume turned and began walking, and you followed reluctantly.By the time you reached Sukuna's quarters, your heart was hammering so hard you were surprised Uraume couldn't hear it.

They slid the door open.

"Your scribe, as requested."

Then they just.. left.

such a traitor omg.

You stood in the doorway, frozen, scanning the room quickly.

wait..it's empty..?

No Sukuna,No officials,just scrolls and maps and the usual organized chaos. oh wow. Relief flooded through you so intensely and it felt amazing.

You stepped inside carefully, closing the door behind you, and immediately collapsed against the nearest wall

You were fine,Everything was fine.You just needed to catch your breath for a second, and then you'd figure out what Sukuna actually wanted, and then-

"Rough day?"

You screamed,and it wasn't a manly shout of surprise.and well..Not a dignified yelp either. t'was a full, high-pitched, absolutely feminine scream that echoed through the entireroom and probably half the palace.. geez.. So much for staying quiet all day and letting your throat recover.

Your hands flew to your mouth immediately, eyes wide with horror as your brain caught up with what just happened.

Yuh i feel tuff asl ending the chapter w a cliffhanger 😍✌️

Other parts:

If you wanna be tagged you can ask!

worst thing about being a touch deprived woman? being socially incompetent. your biggest talent is managing to make every human interaction as awkward as possible. your mighty talent has left you with absolutely no game, because you have a crippling fear of even looking into a man’s direction. not only have you given up on interacting with men— they've also given up from approaching you, since you mostly didn’t acknowledge those who advanced toward you. and when you did? you’re either a stuttering mess or you give them the nastiest look without truly meaning to. it’s like your brain short-circuits when a man breathes in your vicinity. in some way, it’s a blessing. because men can be scary as fuck.

still being a virgin in college was definitely not on your bingo card. especially because the ao3 and tumblr fics you read obsessively have you craving things you can never see yourself actually doing. you’d probably be a threat to every attractive man you set your eyes on if you had the guts to even do half the things you read and fantasize about. lucky them, you guess. 

the moment you push open the door to the bakery, a soft chime rings overhead and a wave of warmth greets you like an embrace. the air is rich with the comforting scent of freshly baked goods. behind the glass counter, neat rows of pastries glisten under warm lights.

you hear the gentle hum of conversation, the clink of coffee cups, and the rhythmic whirr of a coffee machine. a baker in a flour-dusted apron slides another tray of pastries fresh from the oven.

“hey, what can I get you?”, finally it's your turn ordering. this shouldn't be a problem. you’ve been preparing yourself for this exact conversation ever since you've stepped foot into the establishment. 

you point at the pastry on the display. “hi, just one of those please”, great! you smiled— you greeted him back— your voice was even— you said please— you smiled— everything is going smoothly! you definitely bagged this interaction. 

“will you be paying with cash or card?” 

“no, thank you.” 

well... good try! 

you stare at each other as your brain processes the words that left the workers mouth. you were expecting him to ask if that would be all. why wouldn't he follow the damn script?

ten dragged out and painfully awkward seconds of looking at each other later, you let out a shuddering breath and reply with a higher voice than intended, “...card.” 

you pay quickly and turn away even faster. the worker calls out a goodbye to you and you wish him a great weekend. it’s tuesday. 

you leave yet another bakery you'll never have the guts to show your face at again. 

that was the first betrayal from your brain that day— never fast enough to actually process the words of people, but always rushing your vocal cords to answer with something that does not make any sense. 

you can feel your heart thudding against your chest as you're trying to stabilize your breathing. that was embarrassing as fuck. 

the second deception of your brain that day was making the moment replay in your mind— ten times more dramatic than it actually was— causing you to not pay attention to where you're walking.  

at this point, you're begging for something to happen—

colliding with a brick wall was not something you intended to do— but said brick wall started acting like it was some well-rehearsed plan you’d carried out to ruin his life. 

“watch where the fuck you’re going”, he spat. 

blah blah blah.. proper name, place name, backstory stuff..

is this really happening right now? 

you’re gawking at him. how can you not? that’s ryomen sukuna— the embodiment of a woman's wet dream. 

part of you is disappointed by the fact that he's wearing a hoodie and not the slutty compression shirts you saw him in once or twice— or more times than you'd like to admit—  around campus. 

your feet are glued to the pavement. the universe must hate you. this close to the man you're usually scared to look at for more than five seconds— but he's on the verge of screaming at you on a busy street. 

you want to apologize— you really do— but not only is your voice seemingly gone, you also can't tear your eyes away from his illegally handsome face— gaze trailing along his tattoos. with a scowl so angry, you don't doubt the thought that he's about to beat you up— 

sukunas staring down at you. first, you run into him— refusing to apologize— and now you're staring at him as if he was the one running into you. the look on your face— such arrogance— could kill a lesser man. but sukuna isn’t a lesser man. he matches you with a glare of his own. he opens his mouth to pull an apology out of you, but you were gone in an instant. making him question if you're running away from him out of fear, or if you have too much pride to utter a simple apology. he glances back for a fraction of a second, confirming that you're indeed walking away— as if you're dismissing him.

“the fuck is her problem..”, he mutters to himself and resumes his walking.

you could win the olympic championship with how fast you're walking right now. you’re never leaving your dorm ever again. how can you embarrass yourself three times in a matter of five minutes? today will be the reason you won't be able to sleep for at least the rest of the week. running into sukuna out of all people? you barely see him around campus— how did that happen? now you absolutely can’t admire him from afar.. 

you are currently walking back to your dorm after a study session at a nearby cafe with your roommate, shoko. 

shoko being your roommate might’ve saved you from complete social isolation. it was hard making friends with your social illiteracy. you always had a hard time warming up to people— let alone start a conversation. shoko was patient with you and never took it against you if you made the moment awkward— she gave you the time to warm up to her. now, you have no problem with talking to her and you're actually comfortable when she's with you.

you were definitely lucky with your roommate. shoko isn’t only fun to hang out with, but she’s also in the popular circle. which means, you have enough chances to step out of your comfort zone— if you ever find the balls to do so. she’s always happy to invite you to parties— even though you always refuse to attend— and save you from awkward moments that you cannot get out of with your lack of skills.

you’re walking in comfortable silence, the smell of cigarettes following you because shokos nicotine addiction screams every five minutes. the silence is suddenly interrupted as shoko snorts to herself, seemingly lost in thought. 

“are you going crazy?”, you ask her with one eyebrow raised. 

she removes the cigarette from her lips and looks your way, “were you trying to flirt with the barista?”

you’re taken aback instantly, “what?! no!” 

she chuckles, “so how come you said ‘nice day with you’?” 

“i was trying to say ‘have a nice day too’!” 

“yeah, yeah”, she laughs. 

you’re looking her way with panic, “did it really seem like i was flirting?!”

she just laughs as she continues walking, her gaze on the road as you still look at her, frantically moving your hands around, “oh my god, i can never step foot in there again shoko! we have to find a different cafe to study at. scratch that, i have to move away.” 

“relax, it’s not that deep. im sure they’re used to your awkwardness by now”, you run your hands down your face and let out a shaky exhale “hey—“ 

bang.

you collide with a pole. 

“oh shit”, you hear shoko saying with a voice like she’s not trying to laugh. weird— you look to the pole— she never hesitates to laugh— 

oh.

you're greeted with a well-built body of a man. 

that’s not a pole— 

you don’t look into his face. you don’t say anything. you turn back to the path and step away, keeping your gaze on the road— 

“the fuck is your problem?” 

oh he’s pissed. 

you stop, but don’t turn around. where’s shoko? 

you want to look back— but then you'd have to deal with the pole— you want to call out to her— but you literally cannot get a sound out. your voice would betray you anyway. and your legs are already betraying you by refusing to move from your damn spot.

“tch”, you’re gonna get beaten up aren’t you? “not gonna say sorry again?” 

you finally turn around, not having been able to take three steps away anyway. 

you dread looking into his face. already shaking and shrinking into your own body. gulping while you look up— and up— 

oh he looks angry. and you’d be an idiot if you didn’t recognize him. 

that’s sukuna. 

ryomen sukuna.

again. 

you managed to run into the same guy twice in a span of what— six or seven days? the guy who’s known to have a short temper and absolutely no regard for the feelings of others. aka, probably your worst nightmare and the last guy you’d ever want to be face-to-face with. again? well— only because he’s scary. you’d love to look at him more. or do something more.. he’s hot as fuck. are you seriously thinking about how hot he is when he’s about to strangle you? well maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. no, that is bad. is it though? you were finally calming down from your last run-in and now it's happening again— 

you can't get a sound out. what are you supposed to say? sorry? he’ll think you’re only sorry because he called you out— you didn't say sorry last week—

his brows are furrowed as he looks down at you. 

he looks like he’s three seconds away from breaking your nose— 

it’s getting hot. you’re sweating. you open your mouth, trying so say something— anything—

“sorry man”, shoko steps in between you with a nervous chuckle. “she didn’t mean any harm” 

you could kiss shoko right now. especially because she looks like she’s gonna piss herself as well. she has one arm in front of you in a protective manner while trying to find peace with a man who could eat you both up without a sweat.  

you can’t tear your eyes away from sukuna. your gaze trails his tattoos— to his clenched jaw— that jawline that could cut you— that slutty compression shirt that doesn’t hide anything but hides everything at the same time— his folded arms that he’s flexing right now— veins standing out along his arm—

he lets out an unamused laugh. “the fuck you both just standing there for?” 

his gaze fixates on you, pinning you to the spot you were already unable to move away from— “are you going to run away again?”, he asks with a low voice, eyes narrowed— sharp as knives. 

you blink. you blink again. mouth opening— 

“she can't talk!” 

huh? 

“uhm”, shokos eyes dart around. “yeah, she's mute man.” 

the fuck? 

“thats probably why she didn't apologize before.”

is she saving you or killing you?

another nervous laugh from her “sorry. bye.” 

shoko takes your arm and drags you away from the scene. 

you’re still in shock. she looks back and walks faster. 

“what the fuck? i’m not mute”, you whisper-shout to her. 

“i know that you moron! i fucking panicked!” 

“well no shit you panicked.”

“well i’m sorry that someone just stood there and also full-on checked out THE sukuna without shame, WHILE he was on the verge of BEATING us up!”

“i didn’t check him out!”, you gasp. 

“you know damn well you did”, shoko mutters through clenched teeth. 

somewhere behind you both, sukunas rooted to the pavement with a confused look on his face. 

it’s been a week. you’ve been acting like there’s a bounty on your head. what if sukuna catches you talking with someone? after two days of skipping classes out of fear of seeing him— shoko had to drag you out of your shared dorm. 

your eyes are checking for pink hair every second of the day. avoiding any kind of human interaction. you were already avoiding socializing your entire life— but this time it feels like your life depends on it.

a part of you is still scared of making a sound in your own dorm.

shoko is sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, typing away on her laptop while you’re laying behind her on said couch and staring holes into the ceiling. 

“do you remember the guy that almost beat us up last week because I walked into him and didn’t have the guts to say sorry?”, you ask shoko, acting nonchalant about it as if you’re not shitting yourself at the thought alone.

her typing slows down for a second before she lets out a snort at the memory. “you mean sukuna? you know damn well who he is. you practically drool every time you see him on campus. ”

“shut up.” 

she laughs again, “I swear you wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t there to save your ass” 

“save me? bro, you made it worse”, you think about the past few days, “seriously, saying i’m mute? i haven’t spoken a word out loud on campus since then.”

“what was i supposed to do?!”, she turns around to you with a gasp.

“i don’t know! not tell him i was mute?!” 

she drags out a sigh. “it’s not that deep.” 

you scramble up from your laying position to fully look her way. “not that deep?! what if he hears me talking!”

“girl, when were you ever near sukuna? I mean, he didn’t even realize I lied to his face so what are the chances he’ll ever find out?” 

you both know that the chance is too high for you keep attending this college. 

you let out a deep sigh as you lay back down, “still thank you, i guess.” 

“pfft— no problem, the look on his face was priceless”, she turns back around and resumes her typing.

you hum, already lost in thought again. should you be grateful in a way? you were face-to-face with sukuna after all. you couldn’t even look at him from afar before that encounter. shoko should’ve stepped in a minute later so you could’ve admired his face a little longer. and his arms. and his abs. 

“he was really sexy”, you sigh out. 

“i guess.” 

you’re both silent for a minute. 

“i wouldn’t have mind if he actually did beat me up—“ 

“i’m about to beat you up”, shoko immediately cuts you off, “you need to get laid” 

“i know.” 

“you know what”, she turns around again. 

“hm?”, you turn your head her way. 

“there’s this party—“ 

“no fucking way.” 

“come on!”, she kneels upright, “you’re not even giving it a chance!” 

“i was scared of parties before this whole thing with sukuna and being mute! how am i supposed to show up to a party now!?” 

shoko thinks for a moment, “what are the chances sukuna will be at the party—” 

“you know damn well he’ll be there.”

“yeah, I know. worth a try though i guess”, she mumbles out the last part, turning to her laptop again. 

“partying means socializing, i just want to get laid”, you whine. 

“well i’m sorry but you have to kinda socialize for that.” 

“ughhh—“, you drag your hands down your face. at some point you will have to step out of your comfort zone, no? but the risk of seeing sukuna is way too high—

“i could ask suguru if sukunas gonna be there", shoko suggests. 

“i doubt that he'd miss a party. and i don't want to go anyway.”

“come onnn!”, shoko pleads, “we can leave the second you feel awkward!”

“so like, two seconds after entering the party?” 

“look—”, shoko starts, “i’ll ask suguru if sukunas gonna be there and if he's not I'll personally help you get laid with a man you can't resist— and hopefully can put up with you—”

you think about it for a second. comparing the anxiety you feel about seeing sukuna to the anxiety you feel about attending a party makes the party seem harmless—

“fine.”

“WHAT”, shoko shouts, “i did not expect you to say yes—”

"don't push it.”

“yes ma’am.”

how did you end up here? the music can be heard two streets away and you feel the bass in your body as you step onto the patio. you should’ve stood your ground and said no. you don't even remember at what point shoko convinced you—

“I’ll personally help you get laid with a man you can't resist— and hopefully a man that can put up with you—”

yeah that part probably did it. 

now you're at some frat party— in a top too tight and a skirt too short— already on high alert for a certain someone with pink hair and tattoos all over his well-sculpted body.

“you’re sure sukuna wont be here?”, you ask shoko for the thousandth time since she showed you the messages between her and suguru, confirming that he really did say that sukuna won’t be here. 

“yes. im sure”, shoko answers with a confident smile, “you just focus on waking up in a stranger's bed tomorrow.”

you also should’ve downed way more drinks during pre-gaming. you’re already dissociating as shoko talks with the guy at the door. he seems to know her and lets you both in. 

the air is thick with sweat and cheap cologne. the lights are throbbing and the bass of some overplayed song rattles the floorboards. 

shoko shoves her way through the crowd of sweaty and drunk people with you arm-in-arm. she quickly finds the way to the kitchen, dragging you along. the floor is uncomfortably  sticky. one step into the kitchen and you throw yourself onto the drinks, desperate to calm your nerves, still angry at the wannabe confident version of yourself that promised shoko to accompany her to this party and not chicken-out at the last second. 

“the drinks are not running away”, you barely register shokos voice as you down your first shot. she looks at you with a grimace.

“the drinks maybe won’t but i sure am about to”, your nerves are still eating you alive as you contemplate downing another drink or shot, staring holes into the counter. shoko lets out a dragged-out groan and yanks you away from the kitchen. 

“I really could have used another drink”, you complain. 

“you’ll pass out before we find you a man”, she reasons. 

shoko still has a half-full red solo cup in her hand as she paves the way for you. you don't even know where you're going. 

she stops at a wall on the edge of the makeshift dance floor, carved out of the living room, granting you the mercy of observing the dancing bodies instead of participating.

“what now?”, you ask her. 

“I have a plan”, she answers without looking at you, still watching the scene. 

“you do?”

“no”, she's still scanning the crowd.

you sigh and also shift your gaze to the scene. 

“i feel like your best shot is dancing”, shoko turns her head to you, “because the second you open your mouth— the party will be over. no offense”

“none taken and absolutely not.”

“you literally give me nothing to work with here.”

“you were the one who suggested this whole thing”, you say with a shrug.

someone walks by with cups in their hand, and you take one— half hoping they don’t notice and half not caring because they were out of sight before they even noticed and you were concealed by the many people around you as they frantically turned around.

what are you even supposed to do? dance? you shudder at the thought and bring the cup to your lips, taking the first sip—

you recoil in disgust but still force yourself to drink it— desperate to ease the anxiety churning inside of you. 

wow. that’s some tasteless ass drink for sure.

and only after you drank the whole thing with big gulps— ignoring the fact that stealing and drinking a random drink could end pretty badly— you realize that it was tap water instead of some tasteless drink like you originally thought.

“what the fuck— who drinks water at a damn party—”

shoko turns to look at you, “from where did you even get that—”

“soo—”, you drag out, “what do you usually do?” 

now that you're here— inches away from the college life everyone seems to dream about— you can't seem to understand the excitement about these parties.

“no idea”, shoko answers. 

“how—”

“i usually arrive, get high and then wake up”, shoko lists.

someone calls out shokos name before you can even answer— how loud did that person shout if you heard it through the music? 

“what’s up?”, she answers. 

it’s satoru— with sunglasses on— inside? at a party? at night? 

you sometimes forget that shoko is friends with satoru— and suguru. two popular frat boys that are the embodiment of your fear of men. one gaze into their eyes and you will go home with a guaranteed heartbreak. so you don’t look— 

“hey! you brought your shy friend with you!” 

you look at him for a second, then look away again. wait— he meant you. you look back again. are you supposed to greet him?

you're just looking between them with a confused look but satoru is quick to change the subject— “we’re gonna play seven minutes in heaven. y’all down to join?” 

you immediately look to shoko with desperate eyes. hopefully she sees that you’re definitely not down—

“yeah, sure.”

oh fuck her. 

satoru starts guiding you both to where the game is played— rambling about something that you don’t care to listen to because you’re about to crash out.

“what the fuck! i don’t want to play!”, you shake shoko and whisper-shout to her. 

“well you’re welcome to sit on the sideline and watch but i’m not leaving till that bottle lands on you at least once”, she tells you. 

“what?! why me!? didn’t you agree because you wanted to play?”, you’re still shaking her.

“fuck no. i hate that game”, she deadpannes, “look at me, im such a good friend”, she exclaims with a proud smile. 

“how is that being a good friend?!”, you hiss, “making me play a game i don't want to, knowing i can’t talk myself out of it?!”

“but think about it— it’s the perfect chance for you! you’re finally gonna be alone with a man! for seven whole minutes!”, she has a smile on her face that could light up the whole party. you never saw her so happy.

“you’ll have to fight me if you want me to step one foot into that closet.” 

“i will fight you”, she sing-songs. 

you need another drink. the water you accidentally drank earlier somehow wiped out every last trace of buzz. 

“hey!”, shoko shouts at you as you snatch her cup and chug it empty with big gulps. 

satoru leads you to the basement and you almost walk into him when he stops suddenly— 

looks like you’ve arrived. 

it seems like the game is already in full swing. you can hear cheering and assume that someone probably steeped outside the closet right now. 

you can still hear the music faintly but you don’t have to raise your voice anymore. everyone's sitting in a circle on the ground with a bottle in the middle— waiting to be spinned again. the cheering calms down and the pair that stepped out takes their place in the circle again. finally you won’t have to shout over the music— 

your heart literally drops to your ass. 

well fuck your life. you won’t be able to say anything because you’ve just met eyes with the current bane of your existence.

you felt the blood drain from your face as dread settled over you.

pink hair— tattoos— hot as fuck— scowl on his face when he registers who you are— yeah, that’s sukuna.

what the fuck?

you look away. maybe your brain is playing tricks on you. was that really water you drank earlier?

a pit of dread opens in your stomach. twisting and churning as you're trying to make sense of the situation. 

why is he here?

you tug on shokos arm. she looks at your trembling hand that's tugging her frantically— then at your face that looks like you've just seen a ghost— and finally follows your line of sight and stops immediately in her tracks. now you’re both standing there like idiots. 

satoru sits down beside suguru— now both looking at you— everyone's looking at you— you feel his eyes staring daggers onto your figure.

“y’all wanna play while standing?”, suguru asks sarcastically.

shoko chuckles nervously and pulls you with her to sit down. 

shoko is sitting between you and satoru. she spots satorus drink— full and untouched. he must’ve grabbed it before he asked you both to join— 

“hey”, she turns to satoru, “you drinking that?” 

“yeah—”, she doesn't let him finish his answer and snatches the cup from his unsuspecting hands— then she immediately passes it along to you.

you don't look at her as you grip the cup like a life line. 

satoru stands up with a dramatic pout, grumbling about something you both couldn't care less about. 

can you even take a swig when your hands are shaking? taking the risk you close your eyes and swiftly finish the drink. you swallow, desperate to loosen up. your vision blurs for a second, but it's not enough to ease the anxiety in you which is caused by the man you did not want to be in the same room with tonight.  

you really want to thank shoko for the drink— but you don’t let out a sound, already knowing who’s sitting across from you. but then you remember the reason you even considered coming here— shoko literally told you he wouldn't be here! 

you’re gonna kill shoko after surviving this— well, hopefully you will survive this.  

you force yourself to sit still— with your sweaty hands in your lap— as you look at the bottle in the middle of the circle and try to drown out everything else. 

as you’re fighting for your life, sukuna watches you.  

you got under his skin like no one else before— that arrogant look you have that he wants to wipe off your face— acting like he's not worth a second of your day. you walked away while others would squirm in place— not daring to act before he does. even after finding out you're mute— he still can't believe you didn't show an ounce of remorse.  

sukuna is sitting beside toji who spins the bottle first, marking him next in line. the bottle spins and the first pair steps into the closet. sukuna couldn't care less about who the bottle landed on. he’s not even sure why he agreed on playing. he was bored, but this seems even more boring. 

the seven minutes start and sukuna is debating on ditching the game altogether when he finds himself looking at you again. he seems to run into you— or well, you into him— a lot in the past few days. he hadn’t seen you before. he doesn't even know your name— he knows shoko, she hangs around satoru and suguru a lot. do they know you too? they must've mentioned a mute girl if they did know you. being mute is a rare occurrence so it must've been brought up, no? how come he didn't hear about it? maybe he just didn't pay attention to the information. how come he hasn't seen you before? you're probably not a party person. he guesses you're closed off since you have little to no way of communicating with others. there’s no way he wouldn't have noticed you. you’re pretty— even if he only saw you in passing he'd at least remember seeing you around before. 

he finds himself irritated at the fact that you don't acknowledge his presence. you barely had a second of eye contact that you broke almost instantly— already seeming to be disinterested in him despite running into him. twice. you didn't spare him a second glance after that brief second. 

he takes a good look at you, eyes narrowing. you're still wearing that arrogant look on your face— dripping with disdain against everything it seems— that he can't seem to forget. he thought about it more than he'd like to admit. you're perched on your knees— hands resting on your lap— skirt short enough to show a dangerous amount of skin. his eyes glance at your plush thighs. you’re swaying slightly and your cheeks are a little flushed— almost impossible to notice. that drink shoko stole from satoru for you was probably not your first drink of the night. she shows you something on her phone then— you grab it from her after a few seconds and type something in— looks like she probably typed something for you to read. it’d make sense if you were the one typing, since you're mute and obviously cant talk. but couldn’t she have just said it instead of typing it on her phone? maybe it's a secret— why is he thinking about it? who cares about what you’re typing about. he removes his eyes from you and focuses on the conversation around him— too lazy to join himself. 

you type a reply to shokos text. ‘maybe we should reveal that you're not mute?’

‘i’m gonna kill you’

shoko reads your reply and offers you a timid smile— only to be met with a death glare from you— straight from a ‘based on true events’ horror movie— that proves you meant what you typed into her phone. a chill runs down her spine. 

she types another thing. 

‘how r u gon play without talking?’  

that’s when the timer goes off. satoru walks back in with a shot in his hand, taking on the job of opening the closet door— since he's already up— and chases toji and some other girl out of the closet. 

you watch toji take his seat beside sukuna— not daring to look an inch into that direction— as sukuna grabs the bottle to spin next. 

wait.

its sukunas turn. 

sukuna is spinning the bottle. 

you're sitting in the same circle. 

you're playing seven minutes in heaven. 

he is too. 

are you just now registering that you're not only in the same room as him— but also participating in the same game?

how high are the chances that it'll actually land on you?

your face pales and your eyes bulge as you realize this might've been the worst seat possible. 

based on the luck you've had with sukuna your chances are slim to none— 

shoko seems to be thinking the exact same thing— realizing a second too late that you should've ditched the game as soon as you stepped foot into this room—

the bottle lands. 

on you. 

what the fuck kind of luck is this? where are the cameras? this has to be a joke— 

“tch”, sukuna stands up, “of course”, he says under his breath.

you can't back out now— what would people think? that you're a coward? a coward that cant talk? 

“the fuck—”, satoru gasps as shoko snatches his shot and passes it to you again. 

she squeezes your one hand as you down the shot with the other. 

then you slowly stand up and start walking toward your grave. 

shoko watches you— she knows you'll never be the same after this and mentally prepares herself for her own funeral as well.

sukuna is already in the closet when you enter and close the door behind you. 

the space is small— but large enough that you're not pressed against each other— which could be considered as a lot of space with how big sukuna is.

you stop right in front of him as he's looming over you— signature scowl on his face. he looks like he's had already enough of you. 

the alcohol has calmed you a tiny bit— but with the amount of anxiety still raging inside of you, you're surprised at yourself for the next thought that crosses your mind.  

“let’s get this over with—”

sukuna is interrupted by your lips crashing into his— your fingers curl in the fabric of his shirt, dragging him down to you. your lips press against his softly at first— clumsy and inexperienced.

he freezes for a split second— his brain processes what's happening. he melts into it as his surprise quickly turns into raw hunger. he cups your face with one hand, the other gripping your waist to pull you flush against him. he kisses you back twice as hard. his hand on your cheek slides to the back of your head, holding onto your hair and keeping you close as he deepens the kiss while angling your head. your hands move to clutch on his shoulders. nails digging into the broad muscle. 

the intensity of the kiss gave you no time to address the dull pain in your back as sukuna shoves you onto the wall, never separating from you in the process. he swallows the silent gasp he pulls out of you with a low groan and his tongue invades your mouth like he owns it. your hands slide to the back of his neck. his tongue glides against yours as you're holding back the sounds that are trying to escape you. he grips your waist tighter. your cheeks turn a deeper red and your heart starts to thud quicker. heat coils in your stomach and a wave of arousal starts to collect between your thighs

the lack of oxygen starts to make you dizzy. you detach yourself from him to breathe in and he immediately chases your lips again. kissing you once again with the same passion and hunger as before. his breath shudders when you lean further into him, eagerly trying to match his rhythm. his hand on your waist moves to the small of your back, pressing you even closer against him— as if he can't stand the thought that there's still space between you. your fingers slide into his hair and when you tug— he lets out a quiet moan into your mouth that makes your breath hitch— the sound sends another wave of hot arousal between your legs. he’s consuming you whole.

your back arches as you tug on his hair once more and he lets out a grunt deep from his throat. his hands start to roam on your body, trying to memorize your body by touch. your mind is growing hazy, every thought is being consumed by sukuna.

his calloused palms move further down to grab your ass, squeezing, kneading the flesh. he pushes you further into the wall— seemingly desperate to be as close as possible to you— you're both panting into each others mouth as you kiss. your jaw slacks and you open your mouth wider for him. the kiss turns messier— teeth grazing— sucking on each others tongue. 

sukuna starts softly bucking into you— grinding against you. you’re fighting against your inner demons to stay quiet while sukuna isn't afraid to let out grunts and groans. your nails rake through his pink hair. 

sukunas one hand hooks your leg around his waist, stroking the flesh while the other stays put on your ass, grinding you against him and making you meet his slow but eager movements. you rock your hips instinctively— hands still in his hair— tugging at his locks once more. 

sukuna pulls back for a second, a string of saliva connecting your mouths together. he doesn’t stray far— just enough to take you in for a moment. he looks at your kiss-bitten lips, eyes moving to the heavy rise and fall of your chest and his head falls into the crook of your neck. he’s panting heavily while he's breathing you in. he lets out a low curse— that you couldn't catch because you're trying to catch your breath while remaining silent— and latches onto your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there as well. his grip on you tightens even more as you start rocking against him faster. his breath is hot against your skin. you bite down, clenching your teeth, not letting a single whine or moan slip out while he's sucking on the skin on your neck. his mouth starts to wander— leaving wet kisses on every surface of skin he can get his mouth on. mouthing at your pulse, you feel your composure almost snap so you pull on his hair to move his mouth back against yours. the shift is instant— rougher, hurried, uncoordinated. it’s like he lost control but can't stop. you try to match his movements— but your lack of experience and his loss of restraint makes the kiss sloppy. not that you're complaining. even if you were— the amount of slick that has gathered in your panties would probably beg to differ— 

knock. 

shoko nearly pulls the door off its hinges before gojo can knock a second time.

you immediately detach yourself from sukuna and bolt through the closet door— not sparing another glance to sukuna— and leave the room.  

shoko is close behind you— trying to catch up with a look of panic that almost matches your own.

your heart is racing. 

“what happened in there—”, shoko asks, but your own thoughts are scrambled. 

your throat tightens as you try to breathe in— only managing short gasps. 

you climb up the stairs hurriedly, desperate for a breath of fresh air— desperate to leave this party altogether. 

you claw your way through the crowd— not caring who you shove out the way or who you bump into.

shoko is in tow as you reach the door to freedom. 

meanwhile, you left sukuna frozen in place— with his heart hammering in his chest and a raging problem in his pants. with your scent faint in his nostrils— enough to haunt him but too faint to fill his lungs. with the taste of your lipgloss still on his lips— which he licks off unconsciously and craves to taste more of. 

he's glaring holes into the wall— where you were in his reach seconds ago— aching to breathe you in and taste you once again. his hands are twitching without your soft skin to hold. a shiver runs down his spine— the room cold without your warmth radiating toward him. when all of a sudden, he hears this agitating grating voice— 

“you were pretty vocal in there—”

“shut the fuck up gojo.”

outside, you haven't talked a single word to shoko yet. you're walking arm-in-arm through the streets. shoko understands that you need time to gather your thoughts and find your words.

the fresh air has calmed you down but the image of sukuna fills your vision every time you blink. you still feel his lips against your own and a faint tingling on your neck where he kissed you mere moments ago. you can still hear his groans which will probably haunt you every time there's nothing to fill the silence with— like right now. your body shudders as the cold of the night bites at you— or is it the absence of his warm body against yours, the absence of his hands on your skin that makes you tremble? 

“hey”, shoko snugs closer to you, “you okay?”

she's looking at you as your eyes stay on the path. 

“i’m sorry for saying he wouldn't be there—”

“i kissed him.”

shokos mouth falls open— a scream threatening to escape from her. 

instead, she's silent for a moment before going into a fit of laughter. 

you turn your head to her, one eyebrow raised. the fuck is she laughing for? especially for putting you into that position in the first place!— 

shokos laughter dies as she registers the serious look on your face, “..for real?” 

“for real.”

you both fix your gaze to the path ahead, both trying to make sense of what just happened.

shoko breaks the short silence, “i think i might have alcohol poisoning” 

“you didn't even drink that much—”

“there’s no way in hell YOU kissed SUKUNA!” 

“are you calling me a coward to my face right now—”

“you’ve been avoiding him like the plague!”

“i think i might have alcohol poisoning”, you mumble as you drag your hands down your face— ruining your makeup in the process. 

shoko stops in her tracks all of a sudden, “wait, wait, wait—”, she closes her eyes for a moment, “so you kissed—”

“made out.”

“made out?—”, shoko asks, flabbergasted. 

“made out”, you double down. 

“so you made out with sukuna for seven whole minutes and i did not hallucinate the moaning?”

“y’all heard that?—”

“ANSWER. the question.”

you breathe in. 

shoko looks at you, eyes still wide. 

breathe out. 

“...yeah that's about it—”

“WHAT.”

“i also might have or might have not dry humped him—”

“WHAT.”

The attendants behind him had turned white as ghosts, bracing for the inevitable spray of blood. Sukuna’s jaw had set, a terrifying, low growl vibrating from his chest. But you hadn't trembled.

You hadn't scrambled to fix your posture. You had just looked at him with an expression of profound boredom.

If he wanted to kill you, he would kill you. Fawning over him wasn't going to change his nature, so you simply refused to waste the energy.

He hadn't killed you. Instead, he had left, the doors slamming shut with enough force to rattle the shoji screens.

And that was the exact moment the nightmare began. Because from that night onward, Sukuna became an insufferable, permanent fixture in your life.

"You are eating that wrong."

You stopped your chopsticks halfway to your mouth, letting out a long, slow exhale through your nose. It was midnight.

You had been looking forward to a quiet, solitary meal of cold rice and pickled plums, but Sukuna had simply materialized in the corner of your room ten minutes ago, dripping wet from a thunderstorm, and had proceeded to sit directly on the edge of your bedding.

"I am eating it the way I have eaten it for more than twenty years," you said, not looking at him. "If my technique offends you, the door is exactly where you left it."

Sukuna scoffed, leaning back on his palms. His massive, tattooed frame took up half the space in your small room, his lower arms crossed over his chest while his upper right hand casually reached over and swiped a plum straight from your bowl.

"You have a wretched attitude," he remarked, popping the fruit into his mouth and chewing lazily. "The women in the east hall weep with gratitude if I so much as glance toward their courtyard. You look at me like I am a stray dog that ruined your garden."

"Stray dogs are quieter," you muttered, finally looking up to glare at him. "And they don't steal my food."

Sukuna’s lower mouth twitched into a sharp, jagged grin. He loved it. The realization turned your stomach, a strange, dizzying mixture of irritation and heat.

He didn't come to your room because he wanted a concubine; he came because he was a creature driven entirely by conflict, and you were the only person in the entire empire who refused to give him the satisfaction of a fight. You gave him nothing. You gave him a wall of pure, unbothered apathy, and it was driving him entirely insane.

He leaned forward suddenly, crowding your space. The smell of the storm, ozone and rain, rushed over you. Before you could pull back, his large, calloused hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around your jaw.

It wasn't the brutal, bone-crushing grip he used on his enemies. It was controlled, a heavy, unyielding restraint that forced your face up toward his.

"You should fear me," he murmured, his upper eyes tracking the movement of your throat as you swallowed. His thumb thumbed the soft skin right beneath your lower lip, a deliberate, electric friction that made your toes curl inside your robes. "A single flick of my finger, and this pretty little throat splits wide open."

You met his gaze evenly, refusing to let the wild, frantic thudding of your heart show on your face. "Then do it. I'm tired of your bragging."

Sukuna froze. For a second, the silence in the room was deadly. Then, a loud, booming laugh tore from his throat, the sound rough and genuine as he released your jaw, shifting his weight until he was practically draped over your lap, his heavy head resting casually against your thigh.

"Insufferable," he muttered, closing all four of his eyes as if he owned the space. "Utterly insufferable."

You stared down at the King of Curses currently using your legs as a pillow, your hand hovering over his unruly pink hair, entirely tempted to shove him off. But you didn't. You just sighed, picking up your chopsticks again, ignoring the way his subconscious weight felt entirely too natural against you.

The shift happened. In Sukuna’s dictionary, words like love or devotion were meaningless concepts invented by the weak to justify their dependency. He would never admit to favoring you. If anyone asked, he would simply say you were a minor amusement, a dull distraction from his boredom.

But the rest of the estate wasn't blind.

The servants noticed that the rare silks brought from the western raids, the ones Sukuna usually threw into the treasury to rot—somehow kept finding their way into your wardrobe because he had casually grumbled that your current robes looked "like rags."

The guards noticed that if Sukuna left your courtyard irritated, he was significantly less likely to execute someone in the main hall.

And then there was the incident with the lord of the northern clans.

During a formal banquet, the lord had made a passing, disparaging remark about your status, calling you an "eccentric, useless mouth to feed" who didn't know her place.

You hadn't even heard the comment; you had been across the pavilion, systematically ignoring Sukuna’s attempts to make you try a cup of sake.

But Sukuna had heard it.

He hadn't made a scene. He had simply stood up, walked over to the lord’s table, and dismantled the man’s entire lineage within three seconds, leaving the pavilion drenched in red before sitting back down next to you, casually picking up his chopsticks as if nothing had happened.

"You're exhausting when you're angry," you had murmured, wiping a stray drop of blood from the sleeve of your robe with a click of your tongue.

Sukuna hadn't answered. He had just grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand toward him until you were forced to use your sleeve to wipe a smudge of gore from his cheek instead. He hadn't asked. He had just assumed your hands belonged on his skin.

Late one evening, weeks later, the heat of the summer had turned the air thick and oppressive. You were lying awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling, when the shoji screen slid open without a sound.

Sukuna stepped inside. He looked exhausted, the heavy marks of a curse battle still lingering in the tension of his shoulders. He didn't speak. He just shed his heavy outer robe, letting it hit the floor, before crawling directly onto your sleeping mat.

"Go away," you groaned, trying to roll over to the far edge. "It is too hot for this."

"Silence," he grunted, a large, heavy arm snaking around your waist from behind. He hauled you back against his chest with a single, effortless tug, his massive body completely enveloping yours.

His chest was blazing hot, a furnace of pure cursed energy, and his face buried itself directly into the crook of your neck.

"You cling too much," you muttered, though you didn't actually fight the hold. It was a useless endeavor anyway.

"What nonsense," Sukuna rumbled, his voice thick with sleep, his lower arms tightening around your hips, anchoring you so securely to him that you could feel the rhythmic, heavy thud of his heart against your spine. "You are small. You fit here. Stop complaining."

You lay there in the dark, his breath warm against your skin, his long, sharp fingernails absentmindedly tracing patterns into the fabric of your garment near your ribs.

He was completely unaware of how intimate the gesture was, how entirely possessive his body became the moment he was near you. He thought he was just resting. He thought he was just taking what was his.

You turned your head slightly, looking back at him. His eyes were closed, his expression unusually peaceful in the dim moonlight.

"You're an idiot, Ryomen Sukuna," you whispered softly.

A faint, arrogant smirk touched his lips, though he didn't open his eyes. His hand moved up, his fingers lacing through yours with a casual, unthinking pressure, locking your hands together against the bedding.

"And you are still breathing," he murmured into your skin, his grip tightening just a fraction more. "Be grateful I find your stupidity so entertaining."

You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into his terrifying, inescapable warmth, finally accepting that while the King of Curses would never say the words, his actions had already rewritten the entire world around you.

............................................................................

"No."

"Lying is unbecoming."

"Complaining is unbecoming."

"regardless...here we are"

Uraume’s expression did not change even slightly to the point you were beginning to suspect if they've never experienced emotion in their entire life.

across the room, the faint scratch of ink against paper paused briefly as Sukuna glanced up from where he sat, surrounded by military reports, one arm resting lazily against the table beside him.

four crimson eyes settled on your handwriting.

"…Your brushwork is refined," he remarked casually

You froze for half a second before forcing yourself to continue writing

-"Scribes are expected to write properly."

"Hm."

he made that sound again. it sounds so..confusing? you have no idea what he's trying to imply and resorted to assuming the worst .sukuna rose up from his seat slowly, the wooden floors creaking softly beneath his weight as he approached you

you tried not to look nervous ,can't this guy just mind his damn business liike??

but unfortunately, your body seemed to betray you as He stopped right beside you.

maybe Far too close...

"Not like this," he said.

Your grip on the brush tightened slighly whilst his gaze lingered briefly over the neat strokes of ink, before shifting lazily toward your face.

"Where were you educated?"

your breath caught slightly, omg so nosy for what.

"…Nowhere particularly interesting."

"Mm." Sukuna crouched slightly beside the table, expression unreadable. "That answer sounded rehearsed."

You immediately looked offended.

"ok but it wasnt rehearsed..?"

"It was bad, then."

your eye twitched, oh how you missed geto for a moment, you even missed his annoying worried nagging. these people were working you to the bone no breaks nada ,if only uraume would bring a snack of somesor-Uraume quietly placed down another stack of scrolls.

you just stared at it in disbelief.

"…There’s more?"

"There is always more."

"This is a punishment"

"Yes."

I mean atleast they were honest..

"to be honest i thought you were raised during a famine or something" sukuna randomly started..

you blinked slowly,pursing your lips together,well perhaps a little too honest.

"..pardon me?"

"you're small and thin with no facial hair.." his gaze lingered lazily "you barely resemble a man"

....

uraume simply continued organizing the place,pretending not to listen as an awkward silence filled the room

"No women look your way, I assume," Sukuna mused lazily "i guess they'd simply avoid you"

your brush nearly snapped in half.

did this fatass just say you have no game??

does he know that you're the game in question??

you decided to just ignore him entirely,saying something would most likely-definitely get you beheaded.

sukuna just watched your reaction,wierdly intrigued-then he just closed two of his eyes briefly,slightly smirking to himslef. what a strange guy.

......

By the time you finally escaped Sukuna’s quarters, the sun had already begun sinking low beyond the palace walls

the hallways were quieter during sunset. servants moved slower, conversations softer beneath the dim orange glow spilling through the wooden corridors.

For once, nobody was shoving military reports into your hands.

finally,some peace.

You massaged your poor aching hand that had to endure all that paperwork,as you lazily strolled the hallways.At this point, even your soul ached.

You let out a long breath as your footsteps slowed slightly. maybe if you were lucky, Uraume wouldn’t find you for another hour,a dangerous amount of hope, honestly.

as you turned another corner, faint voices drifted through the hallway ahead.

"…I heard he survived."

your steps slowed instinctively, eavesdropping in on the gossip

"Barely"

"Apparently she stabbed him so bad he still can’t move one of his arms properly."

"tch. serves him right"

"hey-Careful saying things like that"

your stomach dropped, the warmth drained from your body so fast it almost made you dizzy. for a moment ,you felt the once cozy hallway blurring slightly around the edges.

He survived.

Not only survived-you had injured him,badly.

your aching fingers curled tightly against your sleeves tightly as uneasiness crawled beneath your skin.

A deep wound could heal, but pride did not.

and men like him never forgot humiliation.

especially not humiliation caused by someone they once believed powerless

If he remembered your face- No.

If he recognized your voice-

He would destroy you-Not quickly, either.

you forced yourself to breathe normally.

Think.

please calm down, besides-nobody here knew.

Nobody could know.

"…Though," one of them whispered suddenly, "I heard the concubine disappeared completely."

"i guess she escaped"

"That’s impossible."

"she had help, apparently"

you felt your test tighten briefly for a moment-your brother, he never told you if helping you dissapear caused problems for him afterwards.he just...smiled and told you to survive

"…You know," another servant murmured thoughtfully, "that new scribe looks vaguely familiar."

you felt your heartbeat stop, or rather speed up

"Him?" someone scoffed immediately. "You think too much."

"No, seriously, like around the eyes-"

you turned around the corner before they could finish, quietly continuing forward, lowering your head immediately as the servants passed by,subtly picking up your pace,not too fast-too fast would attract attention

but your pace still quickened anyway

A laugh echoed somewhere down the corridor.

a low,disgustingly familiar ugly laugh

your entire body went cold,throat going dry and whole body feeling numb with discomfort.

forgot to mention in the beginning but reader is lwk androgynous thts why sukuna though she was a woman at first

Sukuna could just go up to you, snatch you away from the man who looked like he couldn't possibly handle everything you were throwing his way and fuck you until the sun rose. Did he really want to involve himself with his friend's sister though? You were hot, sure, but it was nearly his last year of college and he'd rather not ruin that by losing a friend he basically considered his brother. 

He had a terrible reputation of one night stands and ghosting. Gojo was drunk but he was right: Nanami would kill Sukuna if he treated you like a common whore. So he wouldn't. He'd woo you, tell you what you wanted to hear, make you feel like no other woman existed. He might even fuck you two times, which is more than he'd ever give any other woman.

Mind made up, Sukuna tosses back the rest of his drink before throwing it at the head of a random pledge and starts moving toward you. Only before he can actually reach you, some guy walked up to you and pulled you away. 

Fuck. Sukuna can feel his anger flaring, always too quick to ‘crash out’ as Gojo puts it. But the night was still young so he would just have to try again later. 

Later came at almost two in the morning and didn't pan out quite like he imagined. The party was dying down, men and women alike were passed out in the lawn with their faces covered in sharpie drawings, red cups were everywhere and Sukuna’s head felt like it was splitting in half. Needless to say, he was in a shit mood.

Even Satoru “never take life too serious” Gojo, looked like his patience had ran out as he kicked at people on the ground, yelling at them to ‘get the fuck up and get the fuck out’. Sukuna however, was past words, simply glaring at people with his hat backwards and arms crossed at his chest until they got the hint and scattered away. 

He was pulling a new pledge up and away from the woman he was attempting to fuck on the living room couch and shoving him by his neck toward the back door. The sophomore understood immediately, grabbing a garbage bag and picking up cups and empty beer cans, mumbling about how he wasn’t a fucking new recruit but not too loud unless Sukuna heard him. 

Sukuna only remembered he was supposed to be finding you when he bumped into a pissy drunk Nanami, knocked out by the pool with his legs hanging in the water and vomit next to his head. The blonde was hardly a drinker, so whenever he decided to indulge a bit, it was like keeping a toddler from offing themselves. Sukuna thought to just leave him there, maybe teach him a lesson about drinking more than he could handle.

 But you would more than likely hate him if your brother accidentally drowned on his watch, and then he wouldn't be able to sleep with you. So begrudgingly, he hooked his arms under Nanami’s and pulled him until he was far enough from the pool, dropping him in the grass. 

His patience was beyond worn thin once the house was cleared of non frat members and when he went back inside in hopes of finally laying down, he was fuming at the sight of some random bitch chugging water from his personal hydro flask, fridge wide open while they basically stood inside of it. 

“Oi! The fuck are you doing touching my shit?” He was seeing red, not even realizing the person he was talking to was you until he was roughly turning you by the shoulder. 

Your eyes were wide and apologetic, hands scrambling to put the top back on it while you mumbled apologies, water dripping down the side of your mouth. “Sorry! I didn't know-”

He glared and crossed his arms, attempting to swallow his rage when he realized this night could end on a good note..

 “Hmm, you just drink from random water bottles? Shit could be laced y’know. Be more careful.” He relished in how you squirmed under his intense gaze but never took your eyes off of his, even if it annoyed him that you clearly lacked survival instincts. He wanted to lick the frown off your mouth.

“Calm down dude, it’s just water! Who are you anyways?” You pushed his leaning body away, disgust twisting in your features. Sukuna was beyond amused though, caging you against the fridge as he put both hands on the side of your head and leaned over you. 

“Ryomen-”

“Sukuna?” You finished, eyes wide in surprise that you hadn't noticed him before. The uncommon pink hair, face tattoos, lip piercing, the looming height. 

Sukuna raised a brow, smug grin on his face. “In the flesh. I know you from somewhere, beautiful? Don’t think I'd forget a face like yours.”

You chuckled, the confidence he saw in you earlier finally crawling to the surface as you stood a little taller, lifting your head to look at him better. You put your hand against his lower stomach and attempted to push him away but Sukuna didn’t budge, though the attempt was cute.

“Hmm, is that why you spent half the night staring at me from across the room like you were working up the nerve to say something to me?” 

Sukuna actually laughed at that, throwing his head back before looking back at you with a small smile. He hadn't realized that you’d been watching him as closely as he was watching you and that made him want you even more.

“I don’t work up nerve for shit.” 

You bit back a smile, a small giggle escaping and Sukuna’s chest clenched. Your eyes were hooded, your dress rising just a little and he was only a man. “Sure.”

“And if I was looking?”

“Then your game sucks since you never actually came over.” 

A low laugh rumbled from his chest. The fucking he was going to give you would be biblical. He would make sure you found difficulty in walking, convince you to stay the night and then fuck you again when you woke.

“You got a habit of insulting strangers in their own homes?”

He shouldn't have been surprised when you responded immediately, your mouth almost as reckless as his. Sukuna thinks he’s met his match when your hand moves from his naval to his chest, manicured nails scratching lightly. 

“Only the ones that yell at me over water.”

He squinted his eyes, moving one hand to squeeze your waist and pull you closer. “My water.”

“Your water.”

Neither of you moved or said anything. Just stared at each other as if in a silent battle. Sukuna’s thumb rubbing circles on your waist while your fingers were sprawled against his chest, biting your lips from the motion and doing a terrible fucking job at hiding the moan that instantly had him leaking precum. 

“Maybe I should leave before you charge me for the water.” You whisper with a shaky breath as he starts lowering his head. He could see the goosebumps on your exposed shoulders, his entire body buzzing with pure lust. 

“Or.. you could stay and make it up to me.” His lips were inches away from yours, breathing in the same air as you as he pulled your body flush against his. The pounding in his head was simmering, replaced by the pounding of his heart and the electric sparks flying between you two. The gravitational force pulling him closer and closer..

His lips were just above yours, hand moving from your waist to your chin, titling your head back. His lips nearly brushing against yours. 

“Is that a pickup line?” 

He hummed, letting his lips lightly touch yours. “Nah, just an invitation.” 

“And if I said no?” You asked as you snaked your hand behind his head, lightly scratching his nape and Sukuna was gone, patience snapped. 

He crashed his lips against yours, groaning and grinding against your body as you returned the kiss, arms tightening around his neck. His tongue danced with yours and he grabbed your hips and lifted you in the air, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist. You both traded spit, his teeth biting into your lower lip and cock pushing desperately into your clothed cunt. 

“Upstairs.” You panted when a random person whistled, pulling back for air but Sukuna was ravenous and captured your lips again before letting you down and pulling you toward the stairs, ignoring the many people staring and the warning headshake Gojo gave him. 

When you made it to his room, he slammed the door shut with his foot and pulled you into his embrace again. Kissing and licking at your neck, sucking hard to leave a reminder of tonight. Pride and possessiveness were terrible things and the way you were moaning in his ear only served to strengthen those emotions. 

Sukuna was completely feral, squeezing your breasts and rubbing his thumb over your nipples as he walked you backwards. He only pulled back when the back of your legs hit the mattress, gripping your chin and pulling you impossibly closer. 

“You sure about this? I’m not gentle.” His left hand moved to your ass, sliding under the dress and cupping and squeezing. Sukuna was far from a touchy person but your body was singing to him, begging to be touched and who was he to deny that?

“Mhmm, I’m a big girl. I’m sure I can handle it.” You batted your eyes at him, fingers toying with the waistband of his pants and brushing against the happy trail that disappeared into his boxers. Sukuna felt his entire face heat up but before you could notice, he was ripping your dress over your head and pushing you back on the bed. 

He towered over you, hand palming his hard cock over his pants, watching you wither on the bed beneath him. Your eyes were bright, glassy and full of need as you started running your hands over your body. Sukuna had no plans on making you wait, pulling his pants down and laying his body between your legs, grinding his covered cock into you. His lips attacked your neck before traveling down to your boobs, biting on the soft skin and licking over the spots to soothe the sting. He was sure to give each breast equally attention, leaving individual marks that were sure to bruise.

“No need for foreplay, my panties are thoroughly soaked.” You cried out as his fingers made contact with your clothed pussy. He smirked when he noticed you were being truthful. What a needy little slut Nanami’s sister was. He had been set on woo’ing you, not wanting to make you feel used and here you were, as big of a freak as he was. 

“All for me?” He huffed out a laugh against your neck before sucking hard enough to leave another reminder of tonight, fingers pushing your panties to the side and sinking into you. You were so warm and wet, gummy walls contracting around his fingers as he pushed them deep and curled. 

You were moaning and crying his name, singing beautiful lyrics of “ngghh sukuna, need you inside of me.” and, “oh fuck, how are your fingers so long?” and his favorite, “I love the way you touch me.” It made his head swell with smugness, and the sounds you were making? Sukuna thought it might ruin him, the heavy breathing and crude words coming from such sweet lips.

“Gonna fuck you real good, ya hear me? Need you to cum on my fingers first, don’t be shy baby.” His fingers pumped faster. Sukuna pressed his forehead against yours, watching your every expression to make sure he was hitting the right spots. 

“Oh! Oh god yes, Sukuna- fuck that feels- uuhhh, so good.” Your hands were gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin and the pain had his dick growing impossibly harder. 

“Come on sweetheart. You want me to make your little pussy cum, yeah? Fuck you’re so tight, gripping my fucking fingers like a virgin.”

He started rubbing his thumb against your clit, moving in circles and grinding his dick into the bed. Your body tensed, head thrown back as you squirted on his fingers, juices spraying his shirt and Sukuna was so gone. 

He placed a few kisses on your mouth, calling you a good girl before sitting back on his legs and pulling your panties down, lifting your body to unclasp your bra and pushing you back down. He quickly stood to pull his boxers down, his cock springing free and hitting his stomach. Pre cum was leaking from the red tip and the way you were eyeing him with blown pupils and literal drool falling from the corners of your mouth, made him want to shove his dick down your throat but he had to feel you around his cock or he just might die. 

“Wow. That’s- I don’t think-” 

Sukuna laughed at the uncertainty in your voice, yanking your legs open and sliding his body over yours, his cock pushing at your entrance. “What? Where’s that confidence from earlier, hmm? Don’t act shy now. I'll take good care of you, baby.” 

“You’re such a di- OH!” You cried as he slammed forward, almost bottoming out in one thrust and making your back arch off the bed, breasts pushing against his chest and Sukuna was going crazy. 

You were so fucking tight, gripping his cock like you were afraid it would slip out and he was instantly addicted. You were so warm, so wet and he knew he would fuck you again. He would fuck you until he satiated this need that consumed him whole. 

“Fuck, you’re taking my cock so well. Such a good little cock drunk slut.” He groaned embarrassingly loud but he was too dizzy with euphoria to reflect on it, too drunk on your pussy himself to have any kind of rational thoughts. He lifted your legs on his shoulders and his cock sank deeper, hitting that soft wall and pounding like a sex starved man. 

The room was filled with the sounds of your mixed moans, skin slapping together and your wet pussy sloshing and squelching as Sukuna slammed into you without mercy. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue fighting with yours before he pulled back and spit into your parted lips as you moaned his name.

You didn’t miss a beat, swallowing his spit and moving your hips to fuck yourself against him. Sukuna thought he might be in love. “Harder! M’gonna cum again, please-”

You yelped as he flipped you, placing you on all fours before slamming back in. Only then did he realize he never put a fucking condom on but it was too late, he was already sliding back into you, head thrown back at the sensation of your raw pussy. He fucking hated condoms anyways.

“Yeah? Be careful what you ask for.” He gripped your hips with a brute force and started slamming into you with no warning. You yelled out and fell forward but he didn’t stop. He was pounding into you like you were nothing more than his own personal fleshlight, cock hitting all the right spots and stars were exploding behind your eyes. 

“Ooohh Ryo- haaa, gonna cum again. Don’t- ngghhh- don’t stop!” 

Sukuna couldn’t breathe, chest overwhelmingly tight with desire but he didn’t stop either. You felt too fucking good for that, so he ignored it and focused on the way his stomach was tightening everytime he dragged you back against his cock. His veins dragging against your squishy walls so good, he was reaching forward and pulling you up against his chest. 

“Get over here, pretty.” He pulled your face to his and smashed his lips against yours, one hand holding onto your hip to keep you upright while the other worked against your dripping pussy. Pinching and rubbing at your clit with a speed that had tears leaking from your eyes as you started clenching around him. 

Sukuna didn’t stop, moving his head to your neck and he fucked you faster, each thrust taking him deeper as his balls started tightening. 

“Are you on birth control?” He asked even though he had decided long ago that he was gonna stuff you full of his cum and deal with the consequences later. He had never been this irresponsible but this is the man you had reduced him to. 

“Yes! I’m so close, Ryo-” You were moaning like a pornstar and he almost came at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. A name he typically only allowed family to call him but he wasn’t about to correct you while he was balls deep inside of you. 

“Give it to me baby. Fuck I’m gonna fill you, yeah? You want that?” 

Sweat covered his body and pink strands stuck to his forehead, his red eyes blazing from the feeling of his impending orgasm.

He rubbed at your clit faster and bit down on your neck, a few seconds away from cumming when you squeezed his cock in beats, orgasm taking you under and pulling him with you. 

You were shaking and crying out his name and Sukuna was shooting a massive load into you, pushing deep to make sure not one drop escaped. The groan he gave was guttural, his balls pulsing as he pumped you full, white cum painting your walls so fucking good. 

“Fuck. That’s it, t-take my fucking cum like a good girl. Filling you so much baby-” 

Sukuna didn’t know what was happening to his body but before he could catch his breath, his hips were snapping into you as you both fell forward, his hands holding your hips as he grinded deep into you, shooting an even bigger load into you as you writhed beneath him and he groaned loud and long. 

He fucked you into the mattress as he rode out his second orgasm, mouth dropped open, hips twitching until he was left a panting mess above you. He pushed into you a few times, riding out his high and making certain his cum stayed where it belonged before kissing your shoulder and rolling onto the bed beside you. 

He was so blissed out he didn’t even question it as he pulled your body into his, hardly giving himself time to breathe before he was wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck. 

Sukuna had never slept as well as he did that night and to say he was disappointed to find you gone in the morning, would be an understatement.

He had no idea that he would be seeing a whole lot more of you in the very near future.

note: guys I promise the next chapters will be longer! but lemme know what you think, comments are always appreciated! <3

series tags: @httpswilloww @rhaewinsdaughter @kingjuliancypher @itoldyouimanalien @4ngelc0ded @natsolox @planetnico @junipersdiary @unlimited-impressions @radiantlyviolentskull @jae-n0 @cupidsblonde @nova-rush @choochoocho @Lunarcrystallize @ttyl0lxyx @cheacheasstuff @nanamistieonfridays @sukunash0e @bathingape00 @prettygalleria @hyeon3y @yorukana @raeyelora @tsnataly @dollyplayhouse @kidd3ath @catkuna @areyna @nyaaaaa3 @euphwriwjk-blog @ejk31 @milliemoo114 @underratedmage @xadenpoop @lovebuglissas @voidst4r @Emeraldpurple @shittypunkbarbeque @urmomswitch @maidofking123 @shazzer29 @princssjellyfishs @alebrasil0101 @hoppitysstuff @meanielotus @Thraxpatty @733164 @ambrosiarosesworld @kiikiigojo @prettygirllkk000 @addictedtotvshows1 @angel-ishere @animez96 @k1yomee @retiredpieceofshits @barcus-protection-squad @Itsmeeelol @Mintedmis @Icebearcucumber @sxlarhwa @shittypunkbarbecue @man1cslut {closed!}

you can see exactly how a girl would fall for the likes of him. thank god megumi told you what he did.

suddenly, an arm wraps around your shoulder. you freeze, finding sukuna right beside you, arm protectively on you.

"stop moving to her, zenin. she's not interested."

his harsh tone sends chills down your spine.

"not interested," you repeat, shaking your head mockingly.

naoya is looking between the two of you, trying to put the pieces in his head.

"so, you're going to take her with you?" he asks.

"gotta ask the lady permission first," sukuna replies, peering down at you, arm still on you.

you smile up at him, "of course i'll come with you."

naoya just leaves, seemingly seething at the betrayal.

"ready?" sukuna asks you.

"mhm."

the two of you walk away, geto's eyes piercing at the back of your heads.

sukuna and you get into his car at the start line. you're excited to say the least. you've never been in his racecar before. as soon as you enter it, you can see how much time, precision and effort he puts into it. it's cleaner than anything that belongs to him and you've seen his room before.

you buckle up beside him, rolling down your window to have a look outside.

people are shouting, anticipating the race to begin. especially after they found out that you left naoya to go with sukuna, it got people talking.

a flashy yellow car pulls up beside you.

the window is rolled down, naoya's cocky face filling the expanse, "you're gonna regret that, y/n."

"awww, don't tell me your feelings are hurt, naoya," you pout.

he rolls his eyes, "so you blocked me on purpose?"

"can't be associated with the likes of you," you reply sharply. "i love women, sorry."

you roll up the window before he can utter another word.

sukuna's smiling all smug, facing the front.

you turn to him, hitting his arm, "what? you like it when you're not at the bad end of the stick, huh?"

"surprisingly, yeah," he answers lowly.

"don't mess up again."

"i don't intend to," sukuna says.

that causes your heart to skip a beat. it truly does feel like you're getting closer to sukuna in all the ways you wanted to. it seemed that all your absurdity has finally caught up and created a result you could only dream of.

sukuna takes his victory back easily tonight.

the race is smooth, completely in his favour. fated. it's like the moment he fixed the conflict with you, it all came back to him. the pride, you, his passion for what he does.

after rolling through the finish line, the two of you shout in victory. and then, he grabs your face, pulling you into a quick kiss. he pulls out as you blink in confusion. you feel your lips with your fingers, doubting your reality. he's staring at you too, body rigid.

suddenly, you grab him by the nape and pull him in, kissing him again. he grunts against your lips, hands sliding down to your waist. it's like straight out of the movies—the fans screaming outside the car at the win, his lips on yours longingly and your pulse pounding inside your head.

when the two of you pull out, you're slightly dazed.

"congratulations," you almost whisper.

"thanks," he smiles. and it's sincere, just for you. an ounce of softness rising from all the ego. you treasure it with your whole heart.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE ★ IM SO SORRY FOR DIPPING ON U GUYS i had stuff to submit for uni but i'm back. i was gonna upload twice tonight but i have a group presentation first thing tmmrw so i gyat to sleep unfortunately but trust, double update tmmrw to make up for this!!! thank u for reading LOVE U

SUMMARY ★ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirting—god, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.

PAIRING ★ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader

CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS ★ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!

On that particular morning, you were fulfilling his desires to an even greater extent than usual, kneeling between his thighs with your plump lips wrapped firmly around his cock. 

His back was resting against the headboard, crimson eyes still a little hazy with sleep as he gazed down at you, etching the sight before him into his brain. You looked so cute, so intensely focussed on pleasing him, your fingers digging into his tattooed thighs while you struggled to keep your balance. 

One of his hands was curled into your hair, not quite dictating your movements - because he loved letting you please him in whichever manner you wished, but there as a reminder to not pull back, to keep your mouth on him until he was satisfied. 

“That’s it, baby,” he hummed, ruffling your hair. “Just like I taught you.” 

The first time you’d sucked his cock you hadn’t been all that good at it. It was a fact that had pleased him, because it suggested that you hadn’t had a whole lot of practice with other people. Ryu and Kashimo clearly hadn’t received such a service from you, which meant that he was special, worth more than either of your previous flings. 

Naturally, he’d helped you improve over the last few weeks with a stern but guiding hand, and now you were practically a pro, servicing him in the exact manner that he’d like. Your tongue was dragging along the bottom of his cock, your hand stroking the portion that you couldn’t quite fit into your mouth. 

“Look at me,” he commanded in a husky tone. Your eyes fluttered open, tears gathering in the corners as you stared up at him. It was a truly angelic sight - your glossy lips spread wide to accommodate him, cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. “Such a pretty thing, huh?” 

You hummed in affirmation, refusing to let up on the task at hand - he felt a surge of pride at your diligence, demonstrating just how well he’d taught you to please him. He should really reward you later, perhaps that night he’d eat you out until you were crying, offer you something different from the usual punishments he’d been giving you lately. 

Although, he wasn’t quite sure that you knew the difference between a reward and a punishment, based on how intentionally bratty you tended to be with him in the bedroom - something he’d been thrilled to discover. You weren’t concealing your masochism from him very well, always whining in sheer pleasure whenever he’d bend you over his knee. 

It suited him just fine, considering that he was undoubtedly a sadist. 

But right now you were being good, probably because you were a little tired, sleep still lining your pretty eyes. You were bobbing your head with confidence, doing your best to keep eye contact, flicking your tongue against his shaft in just the way he liked. 

Fuck, you were perfect. 

He groaned out your name as he came, tugging your hair to ensure that you stayed in place while he drained himself into your mouth. He was almost certain that you wouldn’t have made an attempt to pull away regardless, but it always turned him on to exert any amount of control over you. 

It turned you on too. He could see it in your eyes. There was no denying that you loved it when he was in charge.

Swallowing his seed, you pulled back and swiped a hand across your lips to clean yourself off. You shot him an innocent little smile that made his heart flip, because he could never understand how someone so cute was equally capable of being so sexy. 

“Look at you,” he hummed, an easy grin spreading across his face. He wanted to keep you right there in his bed, looking exactly like that, for all eternity. 

“Did it feel good, Kuna?” You asked, cheeks all flushed, eager for his approval. 

“Mmm. Really good, baby.” You practically beamed at him, and the sight had his cock hardening once more. “Come here.” He patted his thighs, hoping that you’d climb on top of him and ride him for a while - that was the one thing that could make his perfect morning even better. 

Unfortunately, you shook your head at him. “No - we’ve gotta leave soon. Later, though.” 

Sukuna suppressed the urge to groan, because he really wasn’t looking forward to that morning’s outing. The past few weeks had been bliss largely because no one else had been made aware of your relationship - you’d kept the whole thing completely under wraps, mainly because you’d wanted to see how seriously things progressed before sharing the news. 

He’d understood that sentiment, even though he’d already been certain that the two of you were going to stay together forever. It wasn’t the worst thing to delay being on the receiving end of scrutiny from your friends.

But today was the day that he finally had to face Yuki. You’d broken the news to her via text a couple of days ago, and now you were going out on some double date with her and Choso. Apparently, she’d wanted to meet you alone first, but you’d essentially used Sukuna as a human shield, hoping that by making the two of them spend some time together, they might realise that they could get along. 

As if that was ever going to happen. 

If his love for you was an unstoppable force, Yuki’s hatred for him was an immovable object. Not that he’d ever truly let that get in the way. If she wanted to despise him, so be it, he couldn’t care less about her opinion so long as he had you at his side. 

Satoru had told him that the best thing to do was just play nice, and then if Yuki was unpleasant to him, she was the one that came off looking bad. That was easy enough to achieve, but it still didn’t mean he was looking forward to it. 

He’d much rather spend the day doing something alone with you - that was all he ever really wanted. 

Leaning forward, you planted a gentle kiss on his lips, sending his heart racing. He wasn’t sure that he’d ever really get used to you kissing him so freely, and on more than one occasion he’d pinched himself because he found it hard to believe that you were truly his now. 

“I’m gonna quickly hop in the shower.” 

“Want me to join?” He asked hopefully, pouting when you shook your head incredulously. 

“I said quickly, Kuna.” 

“I can be quick.” 

“Not quick enough,” you said with a breathy laugh, before pushing your way into the bathroom. He smiled at the sound of you humming a soft tune under your breath on the other side of the door, the noise partially drowned out as you turned on the water. 

Over the last few weeks the two of you had already fallen into a number of comfortable domestic patterns like this one. For some reason, the idea of lying in bed while you were naked in the next room just going about your day, filled his heart with warmth. It had an intimacy to it that he’d never experienced with anyone else. 

He never wanted to experience it with anyone else. 

Part of him even wanted to drift off back to sleep listening to the sweet sound of your musical tune in the background, but the time that you spent in the shower was important to him for more reasons than simply basking in domestic bliss. 

Sitting up on his bed, he reached over to where your phone was sitting on the side cabinet, flipping it open and checking through your texts. He just needed to make sure that you were on the right track, needed to ensure that no one was poisoning you against him behind his back. It was only fair that he checked - you were his, after all. 

There were a handful of texts from Yuki that he hadn’t seen before, various vile messages about him, all followed by diplomatic responses from you in which you tried to convince her that he really wasn’t that bad. 

It was heart-warming, the level to which you’d defend him to someone you’d known since childhood. You really were into him. 

You had no idea how much of a service you were doing your friend just in the simple act of standing up for him, because if he saw so much as a hint of you being swayed by Yuki’s antagonistic ramblings, she’d be joining Kashimo at the bottom of the river. 

Outside of Yuki, you didn't receive many texts. He’d seen most of them in his last snooping session and there were very few new ones - just a few from Shoko and from your mother. He was glad to see that there were no messages from any of Kashimo’s friends - particularly his bandmates whom Sukuna was concerned that you might’ve known to some extent.

He was certain that he’d covered his bases well enough on that front though. He’d had a blast using Kashimo’s phone to carefully destroy every single one of the boy’s social ties. He wanted to ensure that no one would care enough to start asking questions about where he was. 

Not that anyone would be able to find him now anyway - even if someone managed to dredge up his body from the river, it would be impossible to identify him. Sukuna had mutilated him beyond recognition, unwilling to show mercy to any man who had laid his hands onto you - they weren’t worthy of kind or respectable deaths. 

He was the only one that deserved to feel the touch of your soft skin. 

Reading through the messages from Shoko, he found nothing of interest. She was much less averse to him than Yuki was, sending you a simple congratulations and moving the conversation on to her current medical school woes. He was glad that you had at least one friend who had some sense to her. 

The only texts that really concerned him came from your mother. 

Your parents didn’t know about him, he was sure of that, even if you hadn’t outright discussed it. He could see it in the way that you grew nervous whenever your father would see you hanging out together at work, as if you were ready to pick a fight. He assumed that they’d said something about not tolerating a guy like him. 

He kind of understood it - if he had a daughter and she came home with some massive guy covered head to toe in tattoos, he probably wouldn’t trust the dude either.

But regardless, the messages pissed him off. 

[Mom]: Hey sweetie! Remember the Higurumas are coming for dinner on saturday so your dad wants you to be at home for the evening [Mom]: Apparently Hiromi is newly single! 😉 [Mom]: I hope you’re doing okay, I feel like I’ve barely seen you recently! I know it's not cool to be living with your parents but you’re always welcome here  [Mom]: Give Yuki my love 😘

He squinted at the message for a while, a little angry because you’d replied with a cheery ‘okay, see you then!’ text yesterday evening, after he’d gone to sleep, which suggested that you didn’t want him to know and hadn’t been planning on telling him. 

Why wouldn’t you want to tell him? Who the hell was Hiromi? You’d definitely never mentioned him before, was he some childhood crush or something? Were you keeping this quiet because you wanted to see the guy before making a judgement on whether he was more desirable to you than Sukuna was? 

What the fuck?

You’d spent the last six weeks happier than ever and now you were entertaining your parents trying to set you up with some random guy? That was just bullshit. You should be averse to so much as even glancing in another guy’s direction now that he was around. 

Regardless, he did his best to simmer down his anger, carefully placing your phone back on the nightstand and acting all nonchalant when you finally emerged from the bathroom. For a few seconds, he genuinely forgot that he was angry at all, because the sight of you wrapped up in a towel did wonders distracting him. It was difficult to be mad at you when you were giving him some sultry look, moisture still dripping from your soft curves. 

“Not getting ready yet, Kuna?” You asked innocently, bending over to dig through the drawer he’d cleaned out for you, looking for an outfit to throw on for your breakfast date. He watched you carefully, wetting his lips at the sight, mesmerised by the way your thighs peeked out from beneath the white towel. 

“Just zoning out,” he responded, shifting atop the sheets until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, closer to where you were slowly pulling on clothes. His initial rage over your phone had dissipated - he was certain that nothing was your fault, it was your conniving parents trying to separate you from him, that was all. 

You were into him. In fact, he was pretty damn sure that you loved him, even if you hadn’t said it yet. Yeah, you were blameless, there was a reasonable explanation for everything. 

“Hey, do you wanna go somewhere this weekend?” He posed the question casually, eager to observe your reaction. If you tried hiding things from him then there was an issue, if not then he could calm down and admit that he overreacted.

You scrunched your face up in disappointment. “I can’t, sorry. Got some stupid family thing.” There was no anxiety in your response, not even a fleeting moment where you considered lying to him, and that put him at ease. 

It was nice to know that your first instinct wasn’t to hide anything from him. 

“A family thing?” He pressed a little harder, because while he appreciated you telling him anything at all, he wanted to see how transparent you’d be about the situation, about this guy that your mother clearly wanted to set you up with. 

“Yeah, one of my dad’s old school buddies is coming to stay for the night with his wife and son. We used to go on holidays and stuff with them when I was a kid but I haven’t seen them in years, they moved to the city when I was like twelve.” 

“Oh, you’ve gotta deal with some annoying kid for the evening then?” He wasn’t sure how casual that question was, but he had to get you talking about this Hiromi guy, and that seemed like an innocuous way to do it. 

You giggled. “No, their son is our age. He’s like a lawyer or something. I’m sure it’ll be a painfully boring and refined dinner party.” 

Sukuna hummed, relatively satisfied with your truthful answer but far from happy about the situation itself. 

If the guy was a lawyer it was no wonder that your parents wanted to set you up with him.  He hoped this Hiromi wasn’t charming or handsome, because the idea of you fawning over the guy made him feel sick. He also hoped that your parents wouldn’t push things beyond a single family dinner, because then he’d be forced to take drastic action and no one wanted that. 

It was supposed to be easier to keep his hands clean now that he actually had you. 

“Can I come along?” He said it in a joking tone, but he was half serious. If you’d have said yes he would’ve taken the opportunity and run with it. 

You were quick to shake your head. “Sorry Kuna, I need to ease my parents into finding out that we’re dating. I think my dad would throw a fit if I showed up to a special dinner with you in tow. I’ll introduce you another time. Promise.” 

“Sure.” He smiled at you, letting you plant a sweet kiss on his lips before ushering him to hurry up and get ready. He did everything he could to stop the disappointment from showing on his face - he couldn’t let you know how deeply your rejection had wounded his pride. 

The promise had felt hollow to him - perhaps you weren’t ever really planning on introducing him to your parents as your boyfriend. Were you embarrassed to be with him? It was easy for you to act loyal when you were at his side, but just how would you act with some handsome lawyer thrust into your path?

Sukuna would certainly be keeping an eye on the situation, because as much as he loved you, where his possession of you was concerned he would be leaving absolutely no room for doubt. He needed to be certain that you were his at all times, whether in his presence or elsewhere. 

“You gonna play nice with Yuki today?” You asked, peering down at him with what he imagined was supposed to be a stern look. You’d clearly moved on from the conversation about your parents, dismissing the whole thing as unimportant. 

Whatever, he’d come back to it after he’d made it through the breakfast from hell.  

“I always play nice.” 

“Sure you do,” you mocked. He didn’t appreciate the shit-eating grin that you sported, because he’d gone out of his way to appear good around you and despised the implication that he wasn’t. 

Even if it was just a joke. 

“I do.” He responded, with a pout, reaching for your wrist and tugging you down onto his lap. You let out a little yelp of surprise, giggling as he peppered kisses over your face. “Just you wait and see baby, I’m sure me and Yuki will be best friends by lunchtime.” 

—

“You guys sure seem happy together!” Choso chirped, blissfully unaware of the tension gripping the table. “We can go on double dates all the time now!” 

“We’ll see,” Yuki muttered. 

The four of you were cramped into a booth at the back of Doug’s, waiting for your orders to arrive. Sukuna’s arm was draped possessively over your shoulder, a challenging smirk fixed on his face as he stared down at Yuki, practically goading her on to say something untoward. Her expression was stony, clear displeasure flickering in her brown eyes.

Sure, it would upset you if your best friend started squabbling with him, and he didn’t like to see you upset, but he did like the way it would make Yuki look unreasonable, and likely push you further into his arms. 

For all of that woman’s attempts, there wasn’t a chance in hell that Sukuna was going to let her succeed in keeping you apart. 

“I’d like that!” You offered Choso a smile. Sukuna could tell that it was forced, because you were fully aware of the tension sparking in the air around you. Your body was a little tensed up in his grip, and your eyes kept moving to Yuki, like you were afraid that she was going to explode. 

It was as if you couldn’t date who you liked without fear of her attacking you for it. 

God, talk about controlling. 

“So, how long has this been going on?” Yuki asked, gesturing between the two of you. She made little effort to hide the distaste in her tone, and Sukuna could feel you shrinking down beside him, like you wanted to disappear beneath her scrutiny. 

“Almost two months,” you mumbled. 

“Mm-hmm. Great.” 

“I always figured you guys would get together one day,” Choso said, “Sukuna could never stop talking about you in high school - me and Satoru got real sick of hearing your name.”

Sukuna probably should’ve been embarrassed at his friend's words, but he wasn’t. He’d never let himself feel bad for being into you. These days everyone liked to play things so cool and it was frankly pathetic - if there was something he wanted, why shouldn’t he go for it with all the enthusiasm in the world? 

Satoru kept trying to play it cool with girls and it was the reason that he’d been haplessly chasing after crushes with no success for years. Sukuna had everything that he wanted with you because he was a shameless go-getter. It was undoubtedly the best way to live your life. 

“Well, you’re gonna get even more sick of it,” he said casually, giving you a firm squeeze. Yuki looked like she was about to throw up. 

“That’s so sappy,” you mumbled, but he could see the smile playing on your lips. Oh you loved him, he knew that you did, your pulse was likely racing right now, all flustered by the smallest of actions.

How cute.

“I guess this is why you’ve been too busy to hang out lately?” Yuki asked, all of her focus directed towards you. She didn’t flinch, keeping her eyes on your face even as the waiter came by to put your food on the table. 

Sukuna really wanted to tell her to mind her own fucking business, wanted to step up and defend you from someone who had no right to judge you in the severe manner that she was. But he knew that probably wouldn’t play out for him in the way that he wanted, and the last thing he needed was you getting genuinely mad at him. 

“Sorry, yeah. I know you don’t um-” you paused, glancing between your boyfriend and best friend nervously. “I know you don’t exactly approve but I didn’t want to keep hiding it from you. We never keep secrets from each other.” There was a slight tremor in your voice, like you were terrified that Yuki was going to go off at you. 

But your tone seemed to catch her off guard, eyebrows raising as her expression softened significantly. 

“So- so I’m here telling you about it and hoping that maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt. Please.” That softness was absent as she glanced back at Sukuna. It was almost like he could see the thoughts racing through her mind, questioning just what he’d done to make you desire him with such intensity. 

But as she switched her attention back to you, her shoulders dropped ever so slightly, that defensive stature of hers beginning to mellow. The gentle quality of her gaze had jealousy churning up in his stomach, hitting him with a gut-wrenching question about the nature of Yuki’s feelings towards you. 

She didn’t love you, right? Not like he did. And yet, he found himself unsure, wondering if Yuki’s protective actions went beyond mere friendship - it would explain a lot about why she was so adverse to him. 

Either way, she was not getting in his way. 

“I like him a lot, Yuki,” you continued, huddling yourself closer to him. “I also like you a lot and I don’t want you to make me choose - it's not fair. I’m not saying that you two have to be friends, but I’m asking if you can at least be in the same space without looking like you’re going to kill each other? For me?”

“Fine by me,” Sukuna said with a shrug, taking a long sip of coffee and pretending not to notice the way that Yuki gritted her teeth. She hated that he was so civil, she hated that he was clearly winning this exchange with his poise and grace that she was so clearly lacking. 

If it ever did come to choosing, Sukuna was certain that you’d choose him over your raging bestie. 

Yuki sighed, biting down on her lip. You reached out across the table to her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Please?” It pissed him off that you had to beg her for anything, she should be begging to be your friend, and yet here you were lowering yourself to stay in her good books? 

That was just fucked up. 

Why did you need anyone other than him anyway?

“Okay, fine,” Yuki said finally. You lit up beside him, a bright smile spreading across your pretty face as you gave Yuki’s hand another quick squeeze before pulling back. 

“Thank you!” 

“But,” she continued, looking at Sukuna once more, “you hurt her in any way and I will hunt you down. Let that be a promise.” 

“Oh how scary. Sure.” The grin never left his face. Wouldn’t that be a treat? The thought of Yuki showing up to his apartment ready to throw down had his blood pumping - no one could fault him for killing her if she’d literally started it. She had no idea what he was capable of. 

“Perfect!” Your voice was still wavering slightly, but Sukuna could hear the effort you were putting into sounding chipper. “So let's move on and treat this less like an interrogation and more like a double date, yeah? Uh- Choso! How’s the band stuff going?” 

Choso, who seemed largely unbothered by the altercation that had just gone down, perked up at the mention of his name, launching into a tirade about how the band was being pulled in three directions because everyone wanted to play different music. Apparently they were also suffering from mixed levels of commitment, since neither Suguru nor Toji were interested in taking their band anywhere further than Toji’s garage. 

The rest of the morning passed by mainly like that, involving easy discussions about various things, never touching on the matter of relationships. Even Yuki seemed to loosen up after a while, giving up on glaring at Sukuna and instead telling you all about what she’d been up to over the last few weeks, filling you in on all the gossip. 

It was nice, almost serene, and Sukuna was starting to think that he might escape this whole thing unscathed. 

Unfortunately, he found himself relaxing a little too soon, because the second that you announced that you needed to head to the toilet, he saw that malicious glimmer reappear in Yuki’s eyes. 

All she’d been waiting for was for you to disappear off for a second so that she could finally have her pound of flesh.

Sukuna was certain that if he was a different man, someone more like poor Kashimo, he’d be quaking in his boots at the idea of being left alone with Yuki, especially with the way she was glowering at him. 

And he really was alone, because the second the bathroom door swung closed behind you, Yuki essentially told Choso to go take a hike for a couple of minutes. Choso, ever the soft-hearted boyfriend, made no effort to come to Sukuna’s defence, shrugging in a way that told him he was on his own. 

Fortunately, Sukuna wasn’t the type of guy who was going to be intimidated by anyone. 

“Alright let's cut to the chase. That shit with Kashimo, how’d you do it?” She was leaning forward across the table, brown eyes sharp with displeasure. 

His lips quirked up ever so slightly, staring her down. “What shit with Kashimo? I knew the guy for five minutes.” 

“Don’t give me that. He was nice, harmless - all that shit that Satoru said doesn’t fit together right. She might be willing to swallow whatever bullshit you feed her, but I’m not that stupid.” 

“Not very nice of you to suggest that my girlfriend is stupid.” 

“I didn’t-” Yuki took a deep breath. “Stop evading the fucking question.” 

“I genuinely don’t know what you expect me to say. Satoru said the guy had a whole Myspace profile of weird posts, plus once he was called out he started berating her because of it. How do you figure I orchestrated that?” 

When laid out in that manner any accusation truly did seem ridiculous. Unless Yuki had any hard evidence, of which she certainly had none, there was no chance in hell that she was convincing you that anything to do with Kashimo was his fault. 

“I don’t know, I just know that something isn’t right,” she hissed. “I know that you’re a conniving bastard, and I know that you’re always at the scene of the crime when anything goes down. That shit strikes me as odd.” 

She wasn’t wrong. He would be impressed by her intuition if it wasn’t aimed at him. But again, she had no evidence, so it meant absolutely nothing. Not when he was making you so very happy. 

“God, you're miserable. Can’t bear to see your friend have a good thing huh?” He leant forward, resting his face against his hand, completely relaxed. He wasn’t about to get all stressed out like Yuki was - he’d be the reasonable one, just on the off chance that you made a reappearance at the table. 

“What? No-” 

“You’re not really a girl’s girl are you, Yuki? What is it? You’re jealous of how much attention she gets? Oh! Maybe you had a crush on me back in school and you’re angry that I chose her over you.” 

“I’d rather gouge my own eyes out than go anywhere near you,” she spat, “I only care about making sure that she’s okay, and honestly, I get the sense that somehow you’re going to fuck up her entire life. If you actually cared about her you’d do the honorable thing and leave her alone.”

As if he was going to fuck up your life. Being with him was your one singular path to happiness, that should be clear enough by now. Tragedy had struck every time you tried being with someone else, he was the only person who wasn’t going to fuck up your life. 

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that, but thanks for the suggestion,” he said with a shrug.

“Great, then I guess I’ll just make her see you for what you are and she’ll dump you.” 

Not likely. Sukuna would produce a literal pile of corpses before he ever let you go. No matter what, he was going to have you at his side for eternity. He grinned easily at Yuki, raising his eyebrows in challenge.

“You know, you’re starting to creep me out a little. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re obsessed with my girlfriend. Is that the case, Yuki? Are you just dating Choso because you know she’s not into you like that? Don’t tell me you’re jealous of me.” 

“Shut up. You’re not stupid, you know that’s not it. I care about my friend and I think that you’re rotten to the core, and I don’t want to see you corrupting her. She’s had it hard, she doesn’t need you making it worse.” 

Sukuna tilted his head, once again feeling genuinely perplexed because he would do anything to make your life better, but clearly Yuki was incapable of seeing the vision. “It's funny, she seems pretty happy with me - at least, the way that she sobs out my name each night sure makes it look that way.” 

“Disgusting.” 

Sukuna’s grin didn’t falter, overjoyed with just how antagonistic Yuki was towards him, emboldened by the fact that she didn’t have the skill to approach the topic with finesse, crashing around like a bull in a china shop. She’d never win you over that way, not with how good things had been going with Sukuna, her vitriol would fall on deaf ears. 

Ultimately, he was just better at games like this. He’d sunk his claws into you slowly, always there to whisper the right things in your ear when you needed to hear them, Yuki didn’t have the skill to undo his work. 

“She seems to like it. So, what are you gonna do Yuki? How do you plan to expose me? Just gonna keep ranting on about how awful I am? Even after she specifically asked us to try and play nice? Seems like a good way to lose a friend.” 

Yuki’s gaze darkened ever so slightly, her jaw ticking with frustration. She knew that he was right, the evidence was right there in front of her just by the virtue of you keeping Sukuna a secret from her for weeks. When it came down to it, you picked him with little hesitation, even knowing that she’d disapprove.

Any attempt to drive him away from you would end in catastrophic failure on her part. 

“She will see you for what you are eventually - one way or another, I know it. You’re like a fucking vulture, always waiting in the perfect position whenever tragedy strikes her, and one day she’ll realise.” Yuki paused for a moment, before her face lit up with malice. “Does it hurt you? To know that the only time she’s interested in you is when she’s broken?” 

That felt like a slap in the face, but Sukuna recuperated quickly because he wasn’t about to let Yuki know that she’d found a sore spot. 

Besides, that wasn’t the truth of the matter - the reality was that you were a naturally naive person, someone who needed somebody else to make the hard decisions for you. Neither Ryu nor Kashimo were right for you, and you knew it. You just weren’t strong enough to pull the trigger yourself and that’s what Sukuna was there for - to help you make the right choices. 

Right now you were far from broken, you were the happiest he’d ever seen you. And you loved him all the same. 

“Does it hurt you to know that nothing you say to or about me matters?” He fired back. “She’s mine now, so you can give up on the protective friend act. Worry about your own relationship - Choso might get bored if you spend all your energy obsessing over your best friend’s boyfriend.” 

“I’m not-” 

“Is everything okay over here?” His heart picked up at the sound of your lovely voice, silencing whatever response Yuki was about to throw his way. You looked concerned as you slid into the booth, clearly aware of the tension that had returned in your absence. 

“All good.” He hummed, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to his side. “Yuki was just giving me the best friend talk, y’know?” 

“Yeah.” She agreed airily, taking a long sip of her coffee as if to avoid further elaboration. 

Sukuna gazed down at you, taking in your radiant appearance. The air felt lighter now that you were back at his side, unmarred by Yuki’s negative attitude. You offered him a soft smile, and he found his breath stolen from him at the realisation that your turtleneck jumper had slipped down a little, revealing the purple markings he’d left on your neck the night before. 

He admired you for a moment longer, eager to reach out and leave more marks of his affection on your soft skin, but Yuki’s pointed cough reminded him that you weren’t alone, and she was fully aware of what he was looking at. 

“Your- um- your neck.” Yuki said quietly, undisguised disgust in her eyes at the sight.

“Oh, thanks,” you mumbled, pulling the collar up, a soft blush lining your cheeks. 

“Sure.” Yuki sighed heavily, defeat lining her expression before she pushed it away, giving you her best smile. “I need to head out. You’re coming to Shoko’s place on Sunday evening right?” 

“Of course! I’ll see you then.” 

You seemed cautiously optimistic in the face of Yuki’s less combative attitude, as if you were choosing to believe that she could grow to like Sukuna.

Sukuna had less faith.

“Yeah.” She stood up, her gaze flicking down to Sukuna, any warmth in her expression fleeing the moment that her attention turned to him. “Sukuna. This has been a pleasure. Let's do this again soon.” 

Sukuna raised a hand in farewell, his laid-back demeanour fooling you with ease. He wouldn’t be dragged into some catty battle in which he took shots at Yuki right under your nose - that was the way that he could lose. And right now he was winning where their battle of wills was concerned. 

She looked like a bitch and he looked like the perfect boyfriend. 

And everything was fine as long as it stayed that way. 

—

A few days later, Sukuna had forgotten all about that awkward brunch with Yuki, because he was caught up with a larger, more concerning issue in the form of your family dinner. 

He’d always known that he was going to snoop in some capacity - parking up not far from your house, wearing a cap and sunglasses, and waiting for an unfamiliar car to show up in the driveway. The Higurumas appeared at around 7.30, stepping out of a fucking Mercedes, which was just the first of many tells that the family was loaded. 

Both men - father and son, were dressed in suits that likely cost them more than his yearly rent, and the woman, Mrs Higuruma, he supposed, was wearing her sunday best which no doubt had an equally extravagant price tag. 

Sukuna was only really interested in one of them, his focus instantly going to who he assumed must be Hiromi. The man was undoubtedly attractive, with a strong nose and tired eyes, and while Sukuna knew that the guy didn’t hold a candle to him in the looks department, he felt a tiny flicker of uncertainty regarding what you might see in the man. 

After all, Hiromi was attractive and wealthy, while Sukuna was just attractive. 

Luckily, lawyer-types tended to be about as interesting as mud, and if there was anything that Sukuna wasn’t, it was boring. That had him convincing himself that there was nothing to worry about, but the furrow in his brow didn’t falter as the group disappeared into your house, out of his line of sight. 

He needed to get closer - there was no way he could deal with the tension of not knowing what was going on inside. What if your parents proposed some ridiculous arranged marriage or something? What if you were giggling at the guy’s jokes? He couldn’t just sit there and think about all the worst case scenarios, he needed to know.

Sukuna wished that he’d had the chance to set up bugs in your house. Cameras would’ve been even better, although potentially too obvious, but having nothing at all was a nightmare for the current situation he was in. 

His lack of preparation meant that he eventually found himself crouched in the bushes outside your dining room window, trying to follow the conversation drifting out from inside. He was fortunate that the window was cracked open a touch, because otherwise he’d be able to hear absolutely nothing. 

The sun was just starting to set as you all sat down for dinner, and Sukuna was grateful for the fading light making it much harder for your neighbours or any passersby to notice him. The last thing he needed was to get caught - what would you think of him then?

For a while, he couldn’t hear your voice at all, spending a few minutes getting to grips with each of the different tones flowing into his ears. Your father was easy to identify, and by extension, so were the two Higuruma men. Having never heard your mother speak, it was hard to differentiate between her and Hiromi’s mother, but he decided it didn’t matter. 

You didn’t make an appearance until the table was laid and your mother was calling up to your bedroom, demanding your presence at the table. The soft sound of your greeting sounded like music to his ears, but he didn’t appreciate the accompanied rustling that suggested you were offering out embraces. 

He hoped you weren’t hugging Hiromi, even if it was just an innocent hello after years of not seeing each other. You shouldn’t be touching anyone who wasn’t him, he shouldn’t have to spell that out to you, it should be obvious. 

But beyond the initial greetings he heard nothing that raised alarm. In fact, you were shockingly quiet throughout most of the dinner, sitting there in silence while you let your parents do most of the talking. It seemed like you were there out of obligation more than anything else, and as far as Sukuna could tell, you and Hiromi hardly spoke a word to each other. 

Before he’d realised it, two hours had passed by and he had nothing to show for his time hidden in that bush outside your window. He’d learnt a whole lot about Mr Higuruma’s law firm, but absolutely nothing pertaining to you. 

On one hand, he was relieved that there was nothing openly untoward going on. All of the stress that he’d felt about you hiding things was completely unnecessary - it really was nothing more than a family dinner. But on the other hand, he was more than a little bit pissed that he was wasting an evening doing this shit when it could’ve been spent with you. 

He was your boyfriend, your soulmate, he had every right to be up there in that dining room sitting at your side. He was your family really, wasn’t he? Sure, you weren’t married yet, but you would be one day, he was certain of that. 

And yet, for some reason he was stuck creeping around, his knees in total agony from the exertion of being frozen in one position for hours. 

It fucking sucked. He should go home and lick his wounds.

But for some reason, he still couldn’t persuade himself to give it up. There was still an inkling in the back of his mind that there was something wrong. It wasn’t because he didn’t trust you, no you’d never done anything wrong in your whole life, but you were easily swayed by bad influences, and there was something about Hiromi that concerned him. 

So he remained concealed outside your house, listening for something, ears tuned as you switched from dinner into a game of cards. He still refused to move even as Hiromi excused himself to take a call and your parents called it a night, showing the Higuruma’s up to the guest room and leaving you all alone at the table. 

Hearing the gentle sound of plates being stacked, he risked a peek over the edge of the window, watching as you cleared up the table, taking on that role as the perfect daughter. He didn’t like the idea of you having to get your hands dirty in any capacity - if he was there he’d do it for you, but there you were taking on the labour when everyone else had already left. 

If Hiromi was really a gentleman he would’ve taken on the responsibility. What a jerk. 

As you left the dining room with the plates in hand, Sukuna followed your movements, creeping around to the kitchen and settling down next to the patio doors leading inside. His heart was thumping in his ribcage as he observed you through the glass. You looked so pretty, leaning over the basin as you scrubbed a plate clean, humming in the way that you always would.

He was half considering tapping on the door to get your attention. He missed you and was eager to have your eyes on him - maybe you’d let him in and the two of you could make out for a bit with the added thrill of your parents potentially finding out. 

That idea was immensely attractive to him. 

But he decided it was best not to. He didn’t want you taking things the wrong way and realising that he’d been snooping around. 

Ultimately, he ended up being glad that he’d trusted his gut, because less than a minute later Hiromi swept into the room, looking more exhausted than he had when Sukuna had seen him step out of the car earlier that evening. 

“Everything okay?” You asked, offering the man a smile that made Sukuna feel unsteady. “Everyone else has gone to bed.”

“Mostly.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got this client who I couldn’t help, they ended up putting him away for life on murder charges. I just got a call telling me that he’d managed to escape holding, so that’s not ideal.” 

You blinked up at him, your wide eyes sparkling with worry. “Oh my god, you don’t think he’d come looking for you, do you?” 

“I don’t know,” Hiromi said, running a hand through his hair. “I hope not? I hope I can at least talk him down if he does try to find me. I really didn’t feel like he was a bad guy, I think he was framed, but you should’ve seen the way he looked at me when they sentenced him.” 

“Shit. It's gotta be stressful.” You switched off the water, paying him full attention.

“It’s what I’ve chosen to do, so I won’t complain.” He pulled out one of the stools at the breakfast bar, resting his elbows on the counter as he peered over at you. “I…heard about that business with your boyfriend in high school. I’m sorry, that must’ve been awful.” 

You waved your hand, taking a deep breath. “It was a long time ago now, I found ways to cope.” He hummed, and Sukuna found himself fidgeting, wondering just what Hiromi’s plan was. It seemed like he was trying to appeal to you - have a nice heart to heart and get you to open up. 

Like you owed him anything. 

“Good. There’s a lot of sick people out there. Hopefully whoever did it got pinned for some other crime and is rotting in a cell right now. Usually people like that can’t stop themselves from committing atrocities over and over again.” 

Your face twitched, as if you were trying to smile but couldn’t quite find the strength to do it. You looked deeply uncomfortable and Sukuna wasn’t surprised - did Hiromi really think that telling you the killer would strike again was a good way of comforting someone? It likely just struck unnecessary fear into your mind. 

“I doubt they caught them,” you said, and Hiromi tilted his head in question. “Its just a feeling, but I bet they’re still just living their lives, pretending they’re human like us.”

“Perhaps. But I like to think that the truth always comes out one way or another.” 

If that was Hiromi’s attempt at being comforting, it wasn’t particularly effective. 

“So, how have things been?” You asked, very clearly changing the subject. “Missing murder suspect aside, of course.” 

Hiromi let out a low laugh. “I’ve been good. It’s nice living in the city but I miss being here all the time, it was nice when we used to hang out.” Sukuna frowned, not liking where this was going. “We used to be inseparable back in the day and now I’m looking at someone I barely recognise - it's strange what the years can do.” 

Giggling, you nodded in agreement. “You’re telling me! I’m still picturing the kid that was always covered in mud, but here you are all grown up and wearing designer suits. I never could’ve seen that coming! I think it suits you though, the lawyer thing, you always liked standing up for people.” 

Sukuna felt sick. He was peering round the door, certain that the darkness was concealing him well enough. You looked far too happy, laughing with an ease that should be reserved only for him. 

It wasn’t right. 

“Yeah I like it. How about you? Enjoying working for your dad?” Again, you gave him that half smile, the one that betrayed your true feelings whenever you tried to lie. 

“I guess?” You sighed. “It isn’t where I imagined I’d be but what can you do? The job market is impossible these days.” Sukuna’s nails were digging hard into his palms because he had no idea that you were eager to find a better job. Ideally, once you married him, you wouldn’t work at all. You could live happily in his apartment and he’d take care of you. 

It was pointless for you to aspire to some silly little job when he could keep you happy instead. 

“Maybe I could find you something at the firm if you were interested? I’m not sure how much you care about law, but I could see about an admin role? At least it would get your name out there and give you the chance to move out of town? I think I’d be tearing my hair out if I had to live with my parents.” 

“Uhh, I don’t know. I just moved back here, it's kinda complicated…” You trailed off. 

“What about it is complicated?” 

“It’s just, I’ve been dating someone and I feel like it would ruin things if I moved away again. I doubt he wants to move.” Sukuna felt relief flood him. You were such a good girl, always thinking about him, he really wasn’t sure what he’d been so worried about. You really were his sweet, loyal little angel.

“Oh really? I could’ve sworn your mom said you were single earlier.” 

“I haven’t exactly told them yet. We haven’t been dating all that long.” 

Hiromi hummed, tapping his fingers on the marble counter, as if thinking carefully about what he wanted to say next. “I don’t mean this in an unpleasant way, but if you haven’t told your parents yet is it really all that serious? Isn’t it better to grab a job opportunity rather than bet everything on a guy you’ve only been seeing for a few weeks? I feel like you shouldn’t be making life decisions based on a fling.” 

Sukuna wanted to crash through the patio doors and strangle Hiromi. It wouldn’t be difficult since he was a fairly wiry man, clearly not the type who made it down to the gym often. Sukuna doubted that there was a single callus on the lawyer’s fingers, he certainly hadn’t seen a day of genuine labour in his life. 

Killing him would be easy.

“I hear you, but there’s more to it than that.” Your lovely voice was enough to keep Sukuna frozen, barely clinging to his self control as he hung on every word that fell from your soft lips. “I’ve liked him for a long time but there were always things getting in the way. Now it feels like the circumstances are finally right and I know I’d regret turning away from that.” 

It was clear that Hiromi wasn’t convinced. “I mean, if it is something real, surely he’d understand you wanting to find a better career than being the secretary at a construction company, right?” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

“Look, you don’t have to commit to anything, but I’ll ask around the firm and talk with some partners we have. If I find anything that’ll suit you, I’ll let you know. Just give it some thought - you were always smarter than me so I’d hate to see you getting stuck here just for some guy.” 

“Thanks.” 

Sukuna couldn’t tell if your response was genuine or born from politeness alone. Either way, he didn’t like the way that you’d essentially accepted the offer - he was far more important than any stuffy corporate job, you should know that. 

“Just speaking from experience. I gave up on a few opportunities when I was dating my ex, and I really regret not taking them now. I don’t want the same to happen to you.” 

“Yeah, I was sorry to hear about that,” you said, leaning on the counter across from him. “My mom mentioned things got pretty unpleasant.” 

“That’s one way of putting it.” Hiromi snorted. 

Sukuna hated the way that he was leaning closer to you. It looked casual enough, but the gentle expression on Hiromi’s face wasn’t unlike the one he’d sport when looking at you. He knew enough about love and obsession to be anxious about this man’s intentions.

“Y’know, I think my healthiest relationship was our fake marriage from when we were kids,” he continued.

You were giggling again. “Unfortunately it only lasted as long as it took me to eat the candy ring off my finger. Oh, and then Yuki ordered us to get divorced so she could marry you instead. Healthy stuff.” 

As the two of you launched into reminiscing, Sukuna slid down the wall, sitting on the ground just to the side of the patio door. His expression was furious. To some extent, he knew that he was being ridiculous - all you were doing was discussing some stupid little family game you’d played as kids. 

But there was something about Hiromi here and now that was setting him on edge. The man wanted you to move to the city, wanted you to disregard your boyfriend - and to then suggest that his only healthy relationship was with you even if it was pretend, made it clear exactly where Hiromi's intentions lay. 

He was trying to flirt with you. 

It was clear as day. 

And Sukuna’s blood was positively boiling. 

—

It was late at night when Sukuna finally made his move, certain that everyone in your house had finally fallen asleep. This wasn’t his first time breaking in, and he was almost certain that it wouldn’t be the last. 

This was his first time entering when people were actually in the house though, for all of his previous tresspasses had been for snooping purposes when your family were off somewhere else. Regardless, his time inside meant that he was well acquainted with various entry routes and the places where the floor might squeak. 

He was sure it would be fine. 

Easily scaling the drainpipe, he found himself on a roomy ledge connecting two windows above. The one on the left led into your room, which was dark save for the gentle glow of fairy lights that you liked to leave on while you slept. Sukuna found it endearing that even when you’d stay at his house you’d insist that some sort of light stay on, claiming that you couldn’t sleep if it was pitch black. 

You’d said that the sudden fear of the dark had started shortly after Ryu’s death, which was strange to him, because it had been a decidedly light evening the night that he’d killed your boyfriend. 

The window on the right led to the smaller of two guest rooms, where Sukuna was certain that Hiromi was staying. It usually served as your father’s home office, but it had a pull out sofa bed situated in there for nights like this one. That window was the one that Sukuna edged his way towards, careful to keep his steps silent as he approached. 

Sliding the window up silently, he slipped in with practiced ease, dropping down onto the soft carpet below. It took half a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, but he swiftly located Hiromi’s figure, curled up on the makeshift bed in the corner of the room. Creeping over to that breathing mound beneath the blankets, Sukuna slowly withdrew a knife from his jacket. 

He’d have to be quick about it. He’d need to thrust the blade into Hiromi’s neck and silence him in the same instant lest he be discovered. If you found him there that would be game over forever. Even if he somehow managed to escape life imprisonment, the only option for your relationship to continue would be for him to take some pages from Misery and keep you captive. 

Because you’d sure as hell never trust him again. 

Just before he could plunge the knife down, a cold fear washed over him. What if you suspected it was him even without catching him in the act? Sure, he could kill Hiromi and flee, but to kill the man in your house sent a somewhat personal message. Ryu, could be disregarded as a random murder, but a second tragedy of a man close to you? And in your own home this time? That was a pattern. 

Even if no evidence tied him to it, he was certain that someone more cynical like Yuki would start making assumptions, start pouring poison into your ear. 

No, he couldn’t do this. Not tonight. Not here. It was just too risky, your relationship wasn’t secure enough yet to survive a severe jolt. 

Lowering the knife didn’t make him feel good, and there was a desperate, primal part of him that urged him to kill the man anyway, consequences be damned. He could murder Hiromi and then immediately steal you away before you could decide to turn your back on him. That was what it meant to belong to him. 

But that would be a short term solution, and Sukuna had long since learned his lesson on that front. 

Hiromi would perish. He deserved it just as much as Ryu did and certainly more than Kashimo did, but Sukuna would find another way to do it - one that didn’t fit into an easily identifiable pattern. 

He had to be certain that it would never come back to him. 

And that meant waiting.

Once he’d made his decision and lowered his knife, he knew that the smartest choice would be to go home and pretend that he’d never step foot in your house. Pretend that he hadn’t almost slaughtered your childhood friend while you slept soundly in the next room. But his blood was pumping and he was filled with more energy than usual. 

If he couldn’t kill his romantic rival he still wanted to exert dominance over him in some manner. 

It was that desire that had him back on the ledge outside, making his way over to your room, taking far less care to be silent as he clambered in through your window. Despite never having been invited into your room, he knew the place well, and made a beeline for where you were curled up amongst your cutesy silk sheets. 

You were laying face down, your arms wrapped tightly around a plushie. Your collection of soft toys rivalled even Satoru’s, all of them surrounding you as if they were keeping watch while you slept. Sukuna paid little attention to their beady eyes, his gaze fixed on your gorgeous figure. 

Pulling the sheets back, he wasn’t surprised that you didn’t even stir. You were far from a light sleeper, and he’d often had to shake you awake in the mornings when you’d fail to register your alarm blaring at your side. You were wearing a sweet little night gown, one that he hadn’t seen before, which was riding up your thighs. One of the thin straps had slipped down your shoulder, revealing the gentle curve of your breasts to him. 

His heart was racing, cock hardening in his jeans. Even after six weeks of seeing you, of touching you, you still had an insane effect on him. He was certain that he’d never stop feeling this way, overcome with the obsession and desire that you’d always create within him. 

Crawling on top of you, his hand was quick to fly to your mouth as he felt you stirring beneath him. He was grateful for his instincts, because you let out a quiet little yelp which was quickly muffled by his palm. For a second, you fought him, before his lips brushed softly against your ear. “Stop, it's just me.” 

Immediately you froze, the tension in your body easing at the sound of his voice. It wasn’t the first time that he’d woken you up like this, all needy with his length pressed up against your thigh - it was something that you’d discussed, one of the many kinky things you’d tried over the past few weeks. 

However, this was the first time he’d done it in your house. 

A place he’d had to break into. 

He could imagine that would be disorienting for you. 

“What- what are you doing here?” You whispered as he removed his hand. He wasn’t sure if you were angry or turned on or a bit of both. 

“My bed was cold without you,” he mumbled, pressing wet kisses against your neck, one of his hands sliding beneath you to grope at the breast which had spilled free from the confines of your nightdress. 

“That’s not-” a soft groan slipped from you as he pinched a nipple, your whole body shivering at the sensation. “That’s not an explanation. How did you get in?” 

“Your window was open. Figured it would be romantic to climb up here, look after you with your parents in the next room.” Your parents were technically down the hall, it was only Hiromi in the next room, but he wasn’t supposed to know that. 

“Sukuna.” You groaned softly, making no effort to push him away as his other hand made its way up your thigh, pushing the nightdress higher and higher until cool air was brushing against your pussy. “This is kind of fucked up.” 

“Yeah. But you like that, don’t you? Probably spent plenty of nights in this bed wishing I’d climb into your room and take you like this. I bet you thought all about what it would be like to try and stay quiet on my cock with your parents right there in the other room.” 

“Shut up.” He chuckled at your childish tone, the response telling him that he was right. Though, he could’ve figured that out already based on the way that you were grinding yourself against his hand, already desperately slick. 

He’d discovered in the past weeks just how depraved you were, and this just served as further proof. To be all needy after your boyfriend had broken in suggested that you were just as insane as he was. 

You were just perfect for each other. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” There was no conviction in your tone, none at all. This was all just part of the game and he knew it. The two of you had a safeword, it was satin, and you weren’t saying it. Instead you were wriggling your hips back against him, desperate for more friction. 

“Oh I’m sure,” he teased, leaning over you and capturing your lips in a messy kiss, one that you gladly returned. When he pulled away, your eyes were round with a sweet mix of anxiety and desire. 

“But what if someone actually hears? I don’t want my parents to see- uhh- this.” Sukuna wasn’t sure if what you actually meant was that you didn’t want them to see him, but for now he’d let it go. 

“Isn’t that part of the fun? Doing something scandalous with the threat of discovery right there?” He felt the way you shivered, certain that his words had convinced you. As he spoke, he pushed a finger into you, a whine spilling from your lips. You were quick to smack your own hand across your mouth, face flooding red at the realistion that you’d be the one who would get you discovered at this rate. 

Another finger sank into you, and you squirmed beneath him. “The walls are so thin. My parents are a few rooms away so it’s fine, but Hiromi- a-ah- Hiromi is just on the other side of the wall-” 

It was as if you thought that would convince him that this was a bad idea - on the contrary, that was part of the reason that he was here on top of you right now. He loved the idea that the man would awaken to the sound of your headboard hitting the wall behind him, trying to fall asleep to the sound of your moaning from the next room. 

That would show him not to flirt with you again. 

“Hiromi? Is that your childhood friend?” He asked innocently, as if he hadn’t been watching your interactions with the man for hours now. You nodded and he regarded you with a smug smirk. “No shame in him knowing who you belong to, huh?” 

The jealousy was dripping from his voice, but if you noticed you said nothing, too busy coming around his fingers, burying your face in the silk pillow as you groaned out his name. The feeling of your walls fluttering around him was just lovely, and as he pulled his fingers free of you, he brought them to your face and let you suck them clean. 

Any protest of yours seemed to die with that first orgasm, your gaze heavy with lust, watching him while he shimmied off his jeans and boxers. Rubbing his hard cock up against your ass, he trailed precum along the exposed skin, taking note of the way that you twitched expectantly beneath him. 

It was nice to know that you were always ready for him, always eager, even in the middle of the night. You were made for each other. He’d always known it. 

Slipping into you, he lowered himself down so that he was lying flat atop your body, in a perfect prone bone position. A light gasp ripped itself from your throat, fingers curling into the sheets beneath you at the sheer depth with which he was buried within you. 

One of his hands snaked around your waist, while the other moved around your neck, his palm finding its place in front of your mouth, muffling your cries as he started to drill into you desperately, taking out all the frustration and adrenaline from that evening on you. All you could do was take it, and you were oh so good at that, sobbing his name into his hand and clamping down on him like a vice, squeezing his cock with each desperate thrust.

Being inside of you was his own personal slice of heaven, and even though he’d come into your room with the intent of laying claim to you with a romantic rival in the next room, he was quick to forget that was his real goal. He was too caught up in the lovely feeling of you, overwhelmed by your smell and the lovely sounds meant only for him. 

Fuck Hiromi, you’d never want him. It was so clear that you only had eyes for Sukuna. 

Regardless, Sukuna was certain that his original goal was still carried out. By the time the two of you reached your peak, the headboard was positively slamming against the wall behind it, and he was pretty sure that your muffled cries were still loud enough to rouse someone in the immediate vicinity. 

Besides, the snores coming from next door had fallen woefully silent. 

Good, he wanted that fucker to hear everything. Honestly he wanted Hiromi to see it. If he could have the guy tied up in a cuck chair, watching while Sukuna fucked your brains out, he absolutely would. 

The only issue was that he wasn’t sure how you’d take that. 

His name came out as a desperate whine as you came, burying your face into his arm once he finally removed his palm from your mouth. Keeping his hips pressed flush against your ass, a contented sigh escaped him. This was one of his favourite positions, it always made him feel so close to you, almost like he was buried beneath your actual skin. 

He stayed there for a few moments, letting his cum seep slowly into you before pulling out. He’d been crushing you for at least five minutes now, and even though he knew you enjoyed the feeling, he wanted to give you the chance to breathe. 

You were staring up at him all flushed, your chest rising and falling swiftly. Now that the lust had faded, you looked mildly panicked, chancing a glance towards your bedroom door as if it might open at any moment. “I really hope no one heard that.” 

“Mmm. I’m sure it's fine, baby,” he cooed, holding his arms out to you and pulling you into an embrace. There was no doubt in his mind that Hiromi had heard the whole thing, but it was pointless getting you all worked up about that.

This was between him and that fucking lawyer. 

Besides, it's not like it would ever come back to bite you because in a few weeks Hiromi would be dead. 

Sukuna just needed to figure out the logistics first. 

The certainty in his tone seemed to soothe you, or perhaps you were just too tired to continue worrying, but either way you relaxed into his arms, letting him pull you close. It was just like every night that had come before, with you finding comfort in his arms no matter the circumstances. 

He wouldn’t stay over that night - he’d wait until you fell asleep before sneaking out once more. The only evidence that his visit was anything more than a wet dream would be the mess he left between your thighs. 

And, at least temporarily, the memory etched into Hiromi’s mind. 

a/n: sukuna really fighting ghosts, hiromi doesn't even KNOW him

anyway next chapter we see reader getting mildly concerned about how clingy and jealous sukuna seems to be with her (she doesn't know the half of it 😭)

hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for the support! comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! <3

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your eyes flutter shut. you had said it back and you really had meant it. 

so why did your chest feel so tight? 

your fingers drifted down the mattress, grazing the sheets where your thighs had tangled with his last night. the faint ache between your legs only reminded you that it had all been real. 

not some dream or blurred fantasy from years ago. 

you shifted slightly and his grip instantly tightened. 

a low hum left his throat before he pressed his face into the back of your neck, nose brushing your skin like he was scenting you, “not thinkin’ of runnin’, are ya?” 

your stomach flipped. 

“i didn’t even move.” you stated lowly, gulping as he pressed deeper into you, chest so utterly warm against you. fuck, he was a furnace. 

“can feel ya thinkin’.” his voice was rough, thick with morning and something satisfied. 

you swallowed. 

how did he always know? 

his hand slid higher then, pressing flat against your ribs as he pulled you impossibly closer, until you were practically fused into him, no semblance of space between you. 

you could feel all of him, all warm and broad and solid. 

“stop.” he murmured into your hair after a minute of silence you hadn’t realized had passed. 

“stop what?” 

“spiralin’.” 

your jaw clenched slightly as his lips brushed over that sensitive spot just beneath your ear, slow and deliberate. 

“brat?” 

you hadn't realized you still haven’t said a word. 

you turned in his hold a bit, enough to face him, ruby eyes meeting yours instantly. 

he was awake now, present and all too steady. 

sleep ruffled pink locks, unreadable expression and a faint smirk ghosting at the corner of his mouth. and his eyes, they were soft, softer than he’d ever admit. 

you almost hated how okay he looked, as if nothing monumental had occurred. as if he hadn’t just altered the trajectory of your entire friendship.

“why do you look like that?” you questioned lowly, before you could stop yourself. 

his brow lifted, “like what?”

“normal.” 

he snorted softly, brushing his thumb across the expanse of your cheek as his large hand gripped the side of your face gently. 

“what do ya want, brat? a panic attack?” 

you hesitated for a moment. of course you didn’t want him panicked but you didn’t want him this calm either. 

this certainty in him made your own uncertainty feel louder.

“things are different now…” you whispered, hesitant eyes peering up at him, the words leaving you as a question rather than a statement. 

“yeah…” sukuna replied easily, almost breathily with a sigh. as if he was relieved. 

and just like that, some of that doubt in you began to dissipate. 

sukuna was relieved, tension released as if he’d been fighting a war and just came home.

your eyes searched his, “does this scare you?” 

sukuna was known to run, he always made his way back in his shell every time a conversation between you almost led to something you both couldn’t name.   

so what changed? 

he paused momentarily, contemplating and gathering his words. 

“no,” his thumb traced down your jaw to your plump bottom lip, “does it scare you?” 

you inhaled slowly. you had spent years knowing exactly where you stood with sukuna. you knew exactly what he was to you and that wasn’t whatever this was now. 

he was your best friend, your constant. the only chaos you welcomed and understood. 

this was undefined territory. 

“a little…” you decided to voice truthfully because the man would see through you if you had chosen to lie instead. 

his gaze softened further, in a way that felt private, almost making you look away. 

“good.” he muttered, eyes flicking down to your little frown. 

your brows furrowed, “good?”

“means its real.”

your heart stuttered and as your lips parted, he leaned in, pressing a kiss onto the plush of you lips. this wasn’t like his feverish and open-mouthed kisses throughout the night. it wasn’t hungry or frantic, but warm and soft. 

“listen to me,” his voice dropped lower, “i didn’t wake up regrettin’ a single thing.” 

you swallowed. 

“and m’not just gonna pretend none of it happened,” his jaw flexed, “i told you i loved you and i meant every word of it.” his fingers slid to the back of your neck, thumb resting just beneath your ear, “you can panic for the both of us, brat. i’ve been waitin’ half my life for yesterday." 

despite yourself, your lips twitched, “bit dramatic, no?” 

sukuna smirked, “s’true.” 

silence settled then, sukuna pulling you into him once more and despite everything last night, so many things still felt unsaid between you. 

as your head rested against the warmth of his chest, his hand stroking up and down the expanse of your back, you sighed gingerly, “what if this ruins everything, ryo?” 

that was the real fear and with your track record, very much plausible. 

sukuna didn’t reply, making your head tilt up to gaze up at the man in question. 

sukuna’s expression had shifted, not angry but stern, “don’t be stupid.” 

your mouth parted in offense, going to scold the man when he spoke up once more. 

“we’ve been orbiting this shit since we were kids, nothin’ really changed, except we aren’t denying it anymore,” he stated so sure and calm, “you think we were just gonna stay friends forever? get married to other people and live separate lives?” 

your throat tightened at the mere thought. 

“i’ve wanted you for years,” he stated like a fact, as if he was speaking about the weather or gravity, “you’re the one who needed to catch up, baby.” 

before you could response, you were gently pushed onto your back, sukuna hovering above you, nose nudging yours before claiming your mouth gently, slow and unrushed and certain. 

there was no desperation, no pent-up years spilling over. simply intention and want. 

your body softened beneath him without question, without permission. your brain, still wired with doubt and what-ifs, went quiet. 

his hand moved up to grip your jaw, tonguing at your bottom lip as you whimpered gently, “see, baby? not that complicated.” 

you exhaled shakily as he kissed you once more. 

maybe sukuna was right, the scary part wasn’t that you loved him but that you were finally allowing yourself to. 

and for the first time since you’d woke up, your chest loosened. 

☾

the lecture hall felt louder than usual, not because it actually was but because you couldn’t focus for the life of you. 

your eyes were hazy as you stared at the professor rambling about something you normally would have understood within minutes. 

you hadn’t absorbed a single word, fingers resting idly against your lips absentmindedly. 

you hadn't meant to but they kept drifting there. 

sukuna had finally let you go around half an hour before your lecture started, and after what was supposed to be an innocent shower, you were both rendered late by the man’s insatiability. 

sukuna had dropped you off in his truck before making his way to practice and you still couldn’t keep your mind from straying to him. 

you thought of his lips, his hand at your hips, the steadiness in his voice. 

i’ve wanted you for years. 

your lips twitched and stomach flipped. 

“hey, how’d things with sukuna go last night?” shoko questioned lowly, eyes still ahead as you felt your stomach drop, heart clenching at the memories of it all.

“um, it was fine.” you stated simply, heart beating erratically as you wondered if she could see into your brain and know exactly how fine things went. 

your brain had still barely processed everything that had taken place the past week, let alone yesterday. the thought of telling your friends only served to overwhelm you further. 

“just fine?” shoko’s voice cut through your spiral, “you’ve been acting all weird, you keep smiling at nothing.”

your head snapped towards the girl, scoffing gently, “i have not!” 

she leaned closer, squinting at you with all the scrutiny in the world, “what did you do?” 

you looked away quickly, pressing your lips together but it was too late. the warmth in your cheeks had already betrayed you. 

utahime, seated on the right of you, turned to gaze at you, the curiosity finally taking a hold of her. 

“don’t tell me…” 

you swallowed gently, huffing as you looked down at the lecture slides. 

shoko wasn’t that hard to fool, prone to distraction. but utahime was observant as hell. 

“what?!” shoko demanded in a hushed whisper before spotting utahime’s small smile, “what am i missing?”

“nothing!” you whispered with another scoff as shoko huffed in response. 

“how good was it?” 

you gasped at utahime’s words as shoko turned to glance between you both. you could physically see the gears turning in her head before that light bulb lit up as she gasped. 

“NO WAY!” 

practically the entirety of the hall turned to you three, confusion and alarm written across their features, causing you to shrink into your seat with embarrassment. 

the professor offered a mere warning glance before continuing her explanation. 

“shoko!” you hissed but the girl merely held back a squeal as she gripped your left arm like she was about to shake the confession out of you physically. 

“what happened? tell me everything! did you kiss? did you fuck?” flustered wouldn’t even begin to cover your state, cheeks tinted pink and mouth agape, “oh my god! you did! did you cry? did he cry-” 

“nobody cried!” you whispered harshly, glancing around to make sure no one was listening in. 

with a small breath, your eyes shut momentarily, throat tightening as you tried to formulate your words properly. 

this was real. saying it out loud would make it even more real. 

you don’t know if you can handle that right now. 

“we talked, okay?” 

shoko merely stared, utahime tilting her head knowingly. 

“you…talked?” hime questioned lowly as you sighed.

you hesitated, “and then we didn’t just talk.” 

shoko’s nails dug into your arm, “oh my god! i need details, what the fuck!” 

you rolled your eyes at shoko’s words, huffing gently but you couldn’t help the slight giddiness in your chest. 

it was slightly alarming, but a welcomed change. 

usually, when it came to sukuna, feelings of heartbreak, worry or annoyance rushed through you. but now, you felt like you were reeling. like you were coming out of a high you’d never experienced before. but you also felt steady, disgustingly so. 

granted, there were still doubts within you, voices that questioned sukuna’s feelings, how it would affect your friendship, thoughts of things going south, the fact that this was uncharted territory-

“how do you feel?” utahime’s voice cut through the long and winding thoughts as you breathed out, as if she had read your mind. 

you exhaled slowly, “i don’t know, to be honest. happy? but also…”

“terrified?” hime finished as you nodded slowly. 

“things just feel different,” the words left you quiet and smothered in uncertainty, “he feels different.” 

“well, of course he does!” shoko chimed in with a scoff, “normal sukuna doesn’t kiss and fuck you-” 

“it’s not just that!” you cut in, shaking your head with a huff, “it’s…everything, i don’t know. it’s like, i know he’s still the boy i grew up with, he’s still sukuna. but…not?” 

something in you shifted at your words because they were as uncertain and unclear as you made it out to be. 

because yes, he was still your ryo. 

he still looked at you the same way, still teased you, still knew you like the back of his hand, his voice still steady like nothing could shake him. 

but there was something softer underneath now. 

or maybe it had always been there and you were just finally allowed to touch it. 

“he was fine this morning,” you murmured, almost to yourself, “too fine. like he’d already settled into it all.” 

shoko leaned back thoughtfully, “that man has been in love with you since you were teenagers, poor guy’s probably been salivating for this.” 

you rolled your eyes, despite your chest tightening almost painfully. 

her words shouldn’t make you feel warmer, truly. but they did. 

maybe it was the reassurance you were lacking. 

sukuna did a great job at it this morning but a horrible job at it the past few years. 

every time you thought you had him, he retreated. every time you tried to grasp onto something you believed you saw in him, he’d disappoint. 

you truly couldn’t blame yourself for doubting it all. 

“what if this changes everything?” you whispered into the noise, almost below a whisper, not expecting a reply from either of them. you simply voiced your greatest fear. 

“i hope to god it does.” utahime stated simply before turning back to the professor once she began speaking about the exam. 

your head turned to gaze at her, lips parting at her words and how they left her so nonchalantly. 

i hope to god it does.

memories flashed then, faces of disappointment, possessiveness he didn’t earn, pain you didn’t deserve. a cycle that was so utterly you and sukuna, it almost made you sick. 

a cycle that was you and sukuna. 

why were you so afraid of change? 

this well and truly couldn’t be worse than your previous dynamic, right?

sukuna always hovered just outside the line, always right at the edge. enough to give you hope then crush it in the same breath. 

now, he was yours. somewhat? 

and that scared you more than it should, because what if-

your phone buzzed against the table causing your breath to hitch. 

you grabbed the device, looking down at your screen. 

ryo: u not done yet?  2:27pm

your brows furrowed. 

brat: almost. why?  2:28pm

you were barely left waiting five seconds before his reply came in. 

ryo: waiting outside.  2:28pm

“of course the asshole has your schedule memorized, he’s whipped!” shoko stated with a grin, practically breathing over your shoulder as you rolled your eyes. 

“he dropped me off, freak.” 

“still. you know he does,” shoko scoffed, “remember, hime? remember when we saw her class schedule as one of sukuna’s laptop wallpapers?” 

your heart was suddenly beating too fast, ignoring the girls conversing beside you. 

is this what this…thing between you entailed now? him waiting for you? 

realistically, hadn't he already been waiting forever?

as the professor dismissed you all, you grabbed your tote slowly as both girls yapped into your ear about god knows what. 

students began filtering out and god, who could mistake alpha phi’s vice president, star athlete, ryomen sukuna leaning against the wall. all 6’5, salmon locks and tattoos. 

his arms were crossed, broad and intimidating, everyone giving him space without meaning to. like his mere presence demanded it. 

but his eyes, they found you instantly. 

and fuck, did they soften. just a bit. just for you. 

your heart was beating so violently, your knees almost buckled. 

shoko squeezed your arm, she was practically holding you up at this point. 

“go,” she whispered dramatically, “go get your man.”

you huffed at the cringiness of her words, but your chest did clench at the title. 

your man. was he? 

you stepped forward cautiously as the girls walked away, greeting sukuna lowly as he merely nodded in acknowledgement, eyes never leaving yours and figure not moving towards you. 

ugh, he was sick!

you knew he was enjoying this, this masochist. he found it all amusing, your nerves, your uncertainty. 

mirth danced in his gaze as you slowly made your way towards him, head tilting and tongue poking against his cheek as he fought back a chuckle, knowing you’d kill him for it. 

“what’s so funny?” you huffed as you stopped a foot away from him, arms gently crossed against your chest as sukuna finally straightened up, gazing down at you. 

“nothin’, baby.” 

your ribs almost caved in. baby? 

you thought you’d cringe at the pet names, not used to sukuna calling you anything but brat or an almost derogatory angel. all names rooted in memories and nostalgia. 

baby was what he said as he was groaning against you, when he was pummeling into you.

and apparently what he’s choosing to call you in public now. 

baby, fuck, fuck...

your skin heated at the echo of him and in the haze of your thoughts, you didn’t notice the man taking one stride towards you, closing the distance before taking a hold of your neck gently and crashing his lips against yours. as if the distance killed him, as if the hour apart tortured him. 

your brain short-circuited causing you to pull back instantly. 

“what are you doing?!” you whisper-yelled as you went to take a step back but he only tightened his grip on the side of your throat before moving the calloused hands to your jaw, squeezing gently as he tilted his head. 

“kissin’ my girl.” 

you blinked. right. is that what this was now? 

with a soft breath, your eyes glanced around to see people staring. your heart was racing. 

this wasn’t ryo, your childhood friend. 

this was ryo, your…boyfriend? situationship? 

you hadn't really established any of that yet-

“hey, brat,” sukuna huffed, boredom lacing his tone along with unmistakable affection, knowingly cutting through your spiral, “problem?” 

“you can’t just…” you gestured vaguely at the open air as his brows lifted in amusement. 

“why not?”  

you opened your mouth but your brain couldn’t think of anything. 

he smirked slowly, “will y’let me kiss you now?” 

your face burned, “...okay.” 

sukuna’s smirk sharpened, leaning down to pull you up and against him, mouth firm against yours. his mouth moved slower this time, deliberate, as if he was proving a point. 

not even to the people around you both, but to you. 

to your mind that loved to plant seeds of doubt within you. 

your chest did something dangerously soft, warmth encompassing you as you finally relaxed in his hold, hands moving up to tug at his hair, causing the man to groan against you. 

maybe you could get used to this.

☾

sukuna’s truck hummed against the road as he drove you both back to your place. 

we find love by daniel caesar playing softly in the background, serving as a source of focus for you to stop overthinking. 

it wasn’t awkward, no, it could never be with sukuna. It simply felt full. 

full enough to have the silence, to allow it. 

your fingers played with his hand that was gripping your thigh gently but firmly, thumb brushing here and there. his grip was warm and grounding. 

one of his hands gripped the steering wheel, black shirt straining against his broad chest as he drove. 

you’d been in his passenger seat a thousand times before, but never like this. 

at every red light, he’d turn to you, simply gazing, almost absentmindedly. his hand squeezed possessively without meaning to be.  

“do you feel awkward?” you muttered gently, yet the man barely even glanced at you, eyes ahead. 

“no.” he stated bluntly, “you?”  

“not really, no.” 

you weren’t even sure why you asked, you knew it wasn’t awkward. 

fuck, this wasn’t you! 

why were you so hyper-aware of everything?

the way his hands felt, the weight of his entire being at your side, the fact that the veins of his arm were really doing it for you. he was making you insane. 

you could see your apartment building come into view, letting out a breath of…relief? maybe? 

or even dread? 

you didn’t wanna say goodbye, you knew that much. 

if he left you alone, you were gonna talk yourself into a hole you didn’t know if you could get out of. 

as he parked in front of the building, you swallowed gently. 

this is the part where, before, you’d split ways. thrown some unnecessary comment over your shoulder and slammed the door shut just to piss him off. 

pretend the pull between you wasn't utterly inevitable.

“um,” you cleared your throat as you unbuckled your seatbelt, “i’ll see-” 

“m’comin’ up.” his gravelly and deep voice demanded.

your mouth parted as he began shutting the car down, clicking his seatbelt open, “you are?”

sukuna merely rolled his eyes, glancing up at you, “i leave and y’convince yourself of all sorts of bullshit, then you’re spiraling, then i have to step in and remind you that m’crazy about ya.” 

your lips parted in surprise. he could read you like a book. 

sukuna smirked at your silence, leaning forward to peck at your cheek, then your lips slowly, “so how bout we skip over to the part where i’m inside ya again.” 

you blushed furiously, hand lifting to weakly slap at his arm. 

fuck, you felt weak. no, you were rendered weak, and it was due to all the feelings you held for this man weighing you down in the best way possible. 

☾

you looked wrecked. 

not in a bad way, not at all. but in the way that makes something dark and satisfied coil low in sukuna’s stomach. 

flushed cheeks, swollen lips, hair still slightly damp from the shower you’d taken, even though it’d taken him all of five seconds to drag you against the tile and ruin whatever innocent idea that had been. 

you’re half-asleep when he slips out from under you, taking more effort than he thought. 

your leg was still hooked around his thigh like you didn’t trust him to stay, cheek pressing to his chest, breath warm against his skin. 

sukuna brushes your hair back first, careful and slow. 

you grumble and he almost climbs back into bed instantly. 

instead, he leaned down and pressed a slow kiss to your temple, “hungry, baby?” 

you simply had to be. you’d arrived at your place at 3pm and it was now four hours later where he’d spent the majority of the time absolutely ruining you. 

you blinked up at him, wide eyes all soft and unfocused, “starving.” 

sukuna smirked faintly, almost in pride. he did that to you. 

you’d barely made it through the door before he’d cornered you against it, all hands and heat and that quiet, intense way he touches you now. 

he pulled on his sweats and makes his way through your apartment that he had memorized like his own home, maneuvering into the kitchen. 

he was still warm, still felt you on his skin, he even fucking smelt like you at this point. 

it was insane how quickly his body and soul had adapted to this, to being tangled up in you, to knowing he doesn’t have to pretend anymore. 

sukuna is well aware of your uncertainty, your doubts and hesitation. and he wasn’t sure why he didn’t feel that way at all. he didn’t want to address just how content he felt, just how needing and yearning for you had so easily shifted to doing anything to keep you. 

he heard shuffling then, bare feet padding down the hallway. you appeared at the doorway clad in nothing but his cotton shirt. 

it hits him in the chest harder than anything from practice ever has. 

you lean against the frame, hair mussed and doe eyes droopy with exhaustion. 

“what’re you making?” you question softly as you slowly cross the room over to him as he cracked a few eggs into the pan, “eggs. surprising.” 

sukuna scoffed at your words, fighting back the smirk that painted his lips. 

sukuna couldn’t cook if his life depended on it, culinary skills narrowing down to cereal and eggs. 

“ungrateful brat.” he murmured as his big hands gripped your waist to pull you up and onto the counter, all big and warm and possessive, “y’sore?” 

you hum as he began stirring the eggs, “a little.” 

his jaw flexes. he likes that you still feel the ghost of him. and he hates that he hurt you as well. 

sukuna adjusted the heating to a lower setting and slotted himself between your thighs. 

you tilted your head, fingers tracing the waistband of his sweats as his large hands placed themselves over the heated skin of your thighs. 

“you’re different.” 

sukuna tilted his head, “how.” 

“i dunno. you’re all soft.” 

he scoffed immediately, “always been soft for you, woman.” 

your heart clenched instantly, “maybe i like that you’re different.” 

sukuna paused, jaw clenching as he processed your words, “i do too.” 

something small shifts at the corner of his mouth now, tilting up, almost imperceptible and all too soft. but you caught it, of course you did. 

a breath left you as the man moved closer between your legs, as if drawn by pure instinct, large hands gliding up the soft skin of your thighs, warm and still tense from your earlier actions.

his thumbs brushed slow lines across warm skin. 

“you’re not thinkin’ of runnin’, are ya?” 

his voice was low, almost teasing, but there was a semblance of truth in his words. of true worry and fear, voicing his innermost thoughts that even you didn’t have access to. 

this was the second time he’d questioned your mindset, had subtly accused you of thinking of leaving and you didn’t blame him even a little bit. 

where you were hesitant, he was so completely sure. he fell into this rhythm faster than you had even begun to comprehend it, as if he’d been waiting forever and more. and he was.

you shrugged lightly, “mmm, i dunno. could get used to this.” 

sukuna scoffed but you could visibly see his shoulders drop the slightest bit, tongue against his cheek as he leaned forward to nose at your chin, then your jaw and your neck. like some sort of freakishly large dog. 

“mmm,” he hummed against the still heated skin of your neck before you felt his tongue press against the skin and draw up, making you sigh gently, “could ya?” 

you simply hummed as the man’s sharp canines nipped at the delicate skin making you gasp out a small kuna. 

“you’re a dream, baby…” he whispered against the skin before nipping at your jaw, the area just below your ear making you giggle softly, pleasure along with a tickle shooting up your spine. 

“kuna, stop…” you murmured, cheeks heated and chest heaving before he’d even really done anything. the man continued his ministrations despite your soft attempt to push him away. 

sukuna leaned up to lick your cheek then, causing a gasp to stumble out, “ew, you freak-” his tongue licked at your lips then, simply causing another gasp to leave you, now both flustered and shocked, “sukuna, you sicko!” 

he chuckled against you, ruby eyes glancing at your pouty and flustered expression. 

sukuna leaned down to kiss at the pout of your lips, heart clenching at the way you easily fell into him, smaller hands trailing up to press against his abs, mouth chasing his as he pulled back to glance down at you again, “stop overthinkin’ everything, brat.” 

you sighed gently, eyes fluttering shut as his forehead pressed against yours, “m’trying.” 

“try harder,” he stated lowly before pulling back to focus on the now burnt eggs, “cuz m’not doin’ this back and forth again, baby. you’re mine.” 

sukuna didn’t offer you a glance as he stated his words, trying to salvage your burnt food. 

your head tilted as you gazed at him, who you’d thought you’d known, in a dynamic you thought you’d be stuck with forever. a loop of pain and longing and yearning carved so deep into your bones, even as he stood there now, heart open and chest bare for you, you couldn’t believe it. 

your mind still conjured up ugly images of how this would all crash and burn, of how he’d leave, of how you two were consistently two shadows that danced on a parallel plane, inching towards one another without ever meeting in the way you wanted. 

ryomen sukuna was soft for you now, maybe he’d always been. he was acting different and you didn’t know how to hold it, how to unlearn everything you knew about him. 

but you did know you needed to, because fuck, if he wasn’t all you’d wanted since you were a mere teenager. 

☾

the bar was loud in a way that crawled under your skin, not unbearable but a bit too much during this fragile state of mind you were in. 

satoru was all too loud, already six drinks in and drunkenly ranting about how to make “emotionally unavailable women fall for your personality and not just your dick.” 

his white hair caught the dim amber lighting as he animatedly spoke with a melancholic tone in his voice, suguru watching him knowingly. 

you did not have the energy to entertain whatever was clearly bothering him. 

shoko and utahime were by the bar, both having brought a date, some guys from their shared study group. you could tell utahime wasn’t really into the man speaking to her, but shoko seemed smitten, a blush coating her cheeks as her guy got her another drink.  

uthaime seemed more into the cute bartender, you noticed. her eyes kept glancing at him and he shamelessly looked back, a smirk tugging on his dark features. 

go utahime!

sukuna was beside you. and not in the way he usually was, all broody and protective, arms crossed against his chest as he glared at any man who spared you a glance, a fight prepared and ready on the tips of his fingers. 

no, sukuna was different, surprising you again, like he seemed to consistently be doing the past few days. 

sukuna had one thick arm lodged behind you, lazily across the back of the booth, fingers tangling in your hair, playfully tugging from time to time to have your doe eyed glare fixed on him. 

his other hand trailed up and down your thigh, his own thigh pressed against your own, warm and grounding. there was barely any semblance of space between you, it was suffocating as much as it was exhilarating. 

sukuna wanted to live in your skin, breathe the air you did and feel whatever you felt. he was convinced. because the carnal way he needed you proved to be almost cynical. 

he almost felt bad for you. you’d given him a taste of what it’d be like to be yours, for you to be utterly his, truly and honestly, with the absence of guessing and games. and fuck, he was utterly obsessed. 

he wanted inside you, always. he wanted to read your mind and have you talk his ear off till he could practically predict what you’d say next. 

you were a fucking drug, the hardest and most addicting one. 

you could feel every inch of him without looking and that was the problem. 

this was all too new. this wasn’t you sniping at each other across booths or years of tension hovering unsaid. this wasn’t almost anymore. this was something solid and defined. 

and that made the noise feel louder, room smaller-

“woman,” his voice was low near your ear, “stop zonin’ out.” 

you huffed gently, “not zoning-ow! kuna!” 

the man had tugged at the root of your locks where his hand was tangled, “don’t lie to me.” 

you huffed once more, headbutting his hand the best you could as sukuna smirked gently at your attempts, “m’just tired, that’s all. is that a crime?” 

sukuna sighed, “not a crime. wanna drink? might help you wake up.” 

“yes, please.” 

sukuna smirked gently, “my polite girl.” 

you tried to fight the flush in your cheeks, rolling your eyes as the man leaned down to peck your lips, uncharacteristically soft, before standing up and walked towards the bar. 

your wide eyes followed him before choso spoke up from his place on the left of you, “not used to seein’ him like that.” 

you turned to him, “like what?” 

“y’know,” he blew the smoke in his mouth, face momentarily covered slightly by the smoke despite you having read the no smoking sign outside, “all soft and shit. m’used to him just being pissed off around you. don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice change.” 

you could feel the heat in your cheeks as you smiled softly, “really?” 

choso merely hummed, “he’d been in love with you since before we all even met you. it’s nice to see it come t’life. makes all our lives easier.” 

you scoffed gently, heartbeat erratic at his words but muffling it down, “how are all of you affected by this?” 

“oh, we are most certainly affected, princess!” satoru slurred from his place across from you, apparently done with his rant about his feelings, “our vice president’s entire mood on a daily basis is dependent on how you two are doing! ugh, i hated when you argued, he’d be such a pain in the ass!” 

you giggled gently at the drunk man’s words, something soft and warm falling over you as you leaned back in your seat a bit. 

with a soft sigh, your head leaned back, eyes shifting like pure instinct as they found sukuna leaning against the bar as he waited for your drinks. 

ryomen sukuna, your boyfriend. of some sort. 

sukuna’s head tilted then, almost like he sensed you and you wouldn’t be surprised if he did. his gaze caught your own, slow and low, sultry but grounding as he smirked softly. 

his brows raised in a silent you okay? 

you merely nodded once before the bartender got his attention once again. you let out a breath as you turned back towards choso. 

“m’gonna get some air.” 

the dark-haired man merely nodded, eyes knowing but hazy as he watched you stand before making your way out of the bar’s door. 

and you hated the way your chest opened the moment the cold air bit against your skin, a sigh leaning your glossy lips as you walked further away.

you didn’t regret anything, you had to remind yourself, you truly didn’t. 

this wasn’t what this was about. it’s not like you particularly loved the way you and sukuna used to be but at least you knew where you stood, right? 

it was the unknown that caused this crippling unease in you, of course it did. wouldn’t anyone be afraid if something they’ve known all their lives up and changed into something they couldn’t quite recognize. 

you leaned against the cold brick of the walls, head tilted back as your eyes fluttered shut. 

“hard day’s night?” 

your heart leaped at the familiar baritone voice, gruff and all too knowing, your eyes fluttering open before tilting to gaze towards sukuna. 

“somethin’ like that.” 

he nodded once, moving closer as his hands remained in his pockets, “what’re you thinkin’ about?” 

how could you even begin to answer that question? 

“everything…nothing, i don’t know.” you breathed out, chest quivering as you gulped gently, the man’s eyes low and assessing as they watched you. his jaw was tense beneath the tattooed skin, watchful. 

sukuna merely nodded, moving to lean against the wall beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed and you could feel the warmth of him. 

“i know they’re lookin’ at us different.” he stated as your head turned towards him, doe eyes gazing up at the man who looked ahead. 

“i don’t like feeling…” you trailed off gently as sukuna huffed. 

“exposed?” 

you nodded softly, “i just…i don’t know how this is gonna…i don’t know how to be, y’know, this…for you.” 

sukuna turned to you then finally, ruby stark dark against the navy sky behind him, “you’ve always been that for me. we’re just not orbiting anymore.” 

your chest tightened then as silence stretched between you both, because truly, you didn’t know what to say. 

noise buzzed around you, people and objects and places all the same, blurring behind the shadows of doubt and fear. 

“what are we?” you finally asked. 

there it was, that dreaded question that had been sitting between you since forever. 

sukuna didn’t hesitate, “we’re done pretendin’, brat.” 

you swallowed, “that’s not an answer.” 

he turned to face you fully now, scarlet eyes steady and serious, “you want a label?” 

“i want to know what i’m standing on.” 

that made something flash in his gaze, not anger but something resolute. 

he took a step forward, broad chest brushing against you as you tilted your head up to gaze at him back, except this time, he touched you instantly. 

his hand was warm against the expanse of your hip, firm and anchoring, “you’re standin’ on me.” 

simple and all too certain, the man continued, “m’not half-way in it with you, never was.” 

your voice came out soft, “so, you’re-”

“m’yours, baby.” 

the words didn’t leave him as dramatically as you had presumed, they weren’t poetic like you’d predicted it’d sound from his tongue. 

instead, the words were stated like a fact. like gravity. 

your breath caught, “and you think that won’t ruin us?” 

he let out a low exhale, hand moving to grasp you jaw, tilting your head to better face him, “fuck, we already ruined each other. i was jealous when we weren't together, possessive without permission and hurt without reason…” his thumb pressed gently into your jaw, “this is just us doin’ it honestly.” 

you searched his face then, cold nipping at both your exposed skin, his somewhat tamed hair from earlier in the night having gone back to the unruly locks that brushed against his forehead. 

you looked for doubt, hesitation, any escape route possible that would allow you to say you knew it if it all went wrong. 

there were none. 

“what if i mess it up, ryo? what if m’not what you think?” 

he leaned down slightly so you could feel his warmth, “you’re everythin', baby. and you probably will mess it up,” your mouth parted before he continued, “so will i. but m’not walkin’ away, fuck that shit. there's nobody else for me. might as well admit that now.”

the wind shifted and something settled then. 

you stared at him. he looked almost peaceful. 

it set off something in you as your doe eyes turned glassy

“i hope you don’t scare easy, brat.” sukuna murmured against you as you let out a tearful chuckle. 

“you’d be surprised.” you whispered as he smirked against you before pulling back to look down at you once more. 

“i’ve already done the spiralin’,” he muttered, “already did the years of wantin’ and not havin’.” 

his hand moved up to your jaw, gentler now, “now i get to keep you.” 

your heart stuttered, “keep me?” 

sukuna breathed out steadily. moving closer until he was flush against you, cradling your face in both hands now, “mhmm. keep you.”

you mulled over the words for a moment, contemplating the pure warmth that flooded over you, “okay.” 

sukuna’s lip quirked, “okay, baby? will ya give it a fuckin’ rest now and let me enjoy my girlfriend?”

you laughed weakly, the sound breaking something open as you finally stepped into him. 

not because he pulled you but because you wanted to. 

your hands gripped his wrists that cradled your jaw as you leaned up on your tip-toes, lips crashing against his. the man hummed against you instantly, teeth nipping at the plush of your bottom lip making you whimper softly against him. 

you attempted to bite him back, except he cornered you against the brick wall, one hand moving to the back of your head to make sure the wall wouldn’t hit you, tongue lashing against your lips and teeth, making a low moan leave you. 

“mmm, ryo…” 

sukuna breathed out against your lips as you tried to catch your breath, “yeah, baby?"

“take me home?” 

sukuna smirked gently against your lips, something gentle taking ahold of him then. 

and fuck, how could he ever say no?  

☾

sukuna shouldn’t have turned around, no, he really shouldn’t have. 

that’s what his pride told him, that’s what the carnal need in him to run and never look back told him. 

he’d already left you a mess behind him, the weight of the world on your shoulders and tears trickling down your pretty face. why would he turn back? could he even turn back? 

back to what, though? 

the pain? his father's cruelty? the responsibility weighing on his shoulders since he was a kid? 

why would he ever turn back, he scoffed at the mere thought. 

he’d walked eight blocks already, towards the furthest bust station from his neighborhood. his jaw was tight, hands shoved into his jeans pockets, sweater hanging off his slightly lanky figure, convincing himself this was good. 

then why did he feel like dying? 

why would he ever turn back? 

he mulled over it, entertained the thought for a mere moment and all he could think of was you.

you, you, you. 

you, who had been the only reason he was still here. 

you, who’d set him straight more times than he could count, snappy and vibrant in the way his life never was. 

you, who would forever soothe the permanent ache that sat between his ribs, crushing and never fleeting. 

you and yuji would be fine. he trusted you to make sure yuji was okay. 

and you’d be okay, more than okay. 

the toxic poison he forever spewed in your wake was gone now, he was out of your hair. 

you didn’t have to stay up worrying about him anymore. you didn’t have to consider him at every step, you didn’t have to force your parents to have him and yuji spend nights and christmases at yours, tears and snot painting your face as you sobbed and pleaded to your parents in the most performative way possible. 

you could live now, you could be a teenager, a kid, in the way he’d never allowed you to be. 

sukuna didn’t need to stay, no, he was doing you a solid. 

fuck, fuck, fuck. 

sukuna paused, the cold nipping at his damp cheeks where tears were leaking before he could even fathom his emotions. 

“fuck!” he barked, breathing out as he crouched over, fisting at the material of his jeans over his knees, eyes shutting as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

he was going to turn back, fuck, of course he was. 

how could he leave you? 

with you, ryomen sukuna didn’t have to pretend to be anyone other than himself. 

all broken, selfish and mean pieces of himself. 

yes, he was selfish. he knew leaving would be best for you, even though you couldn’t see it now. but again, sukuna weighed it out over the last few blocks. 

stay and endure the pain, all of it, the hits and punches he didn’t deserve, the kid he looked after when he was a kid himself. 

or leave and never think about any of it again. leave and be free, no matter where he’d end up. 

there was only one difference between his two options and that was you. 

stay and have you. 

or leave and lose you. 

and fuck, he’d take the pain and have you there to soothe it always. 

with that final thought, a sixteen year old sukuna kicked at a rock before turning back around, chest heaving with the need to see you again, to tell you everything-

the sirens cut through his thoughts and the quiet of the night. 

it was sharp and close, too close. 

sukuna didn’t think much at first until he realized the sound wasn’t fading, if anything, it was steadily getting louder. 

he turned around to see the firetruck soaring through the darkness of the night, right past him towards where he’d been walking away from, towards it all.

and he couldn’t explain it, truly, the emotions that washed over him. 

the sirens could be going anywhere, could be going to the other side of town, for all he knew. 

but what could ever explain the sinking feeling in his gut? 

the nagging bite of something that told him he should have never left? 

the sudden urge to run back, towards you and you, towards you. 

sukuna didn’t think, then, he didn’t have a second to rationalize the emotions in him. 

red lights flashed against parked cars as it zoomed past him and he didn’t mull over his gut feeling before he began running. 

his legs pumped as fast as they could as his chest heaved, he looked absolutely unhinged , he was sure. 

but it would all be fine. all he had to do was go to the house, to see you again because he knew you’d go back for yuji first. 

he was running fast, then faster. 

he couldn’t explain it and by his sixth block as he neared his neighborhood, he began feeling nauseous. his sweater stuck to his damp skin, sweat beading at the nape of his neck, salmon hair sticking to his scalp, even with the cold. 

he couldn’t stop running, no, he had to see you so you could soothe the ache in him, the fear he hoped was irrational. 

something sick took ahold of him when he was a block away and spotted the red flashing lights right by the hell he’d grew up in. 

“no, no, no.’ his legs carried him even faster. 

sukuna rounded the corner and everything in him stopped. 

his house was on fire, flames erupting like something cruel. 

flames licke through the windows like something alive. smoke swallowed the roof, glass shattered somewhere inside. 

and for a second, a split second, elation spread through him. 

he imagined his father inside, rotting like he should, like he deserved. 

but it was just a split second before reality brushed his thoughts and reminded him. 

yuji. 

it didn’t feel real then, he could never begin to even try to explain the emotions rushing through him. his entire being grew hazy then. he felt like he was out of his body, watching himself from above. 

like he'd stepped into someone else’s nightmare. 

then his body caught up to him.

“YUJI!” 

his voice tore out of him, sprinting forward as his heart slammed against his ribs so violently, it felt like it might rupture. 

firefighters were already there, shouting and dragging hoses, neighbors gathered across the street and on the porch of their houses. 

sukuna didn’t know why his gaze turned to look at the side of his home, where yuji’s bedroom overlooked and when he went to run, his gaze caught on something glinting atop the grass. 

and then he felt sick. 

the chained charm bracelet, gold and familiar, filled with multiple mini little charms and he knew the story behind each one. 

your bracelet. the one you never took off. 

lying in the dirt by the back steps. 

his brain shut down then. he didn’t reason and didn’t process. 

it decided one thing instantly and it sent him into a frenzy, 

you were inside. 

take care of yuji, yeah? 

he’d sent you there. you were inside and you’d tried to get out. 

you didn’t make it. 

sukuna lunged towards the door and hands grabbed at him instantly. 

“HEY! KID-” 

sukuna thrashed violently, elbows shooting back into hard chests and lags kicking and willing him forward. 

even at sixteen, lanky and tall, his mere need to see you pushed him forward with a strength he didn’t know he had. 

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME-” and then your name tore through his chest, scratching his throat and his chest as he lunged once more. 

two firefighters pulled him back as he fought like something feral. 

“SHE’S IN THERE-MY BROTHER IS IN THERE-” 

“kid, you cannot go inside!”

sukuna swung out of pure instinct, shoulders ripping against their grip.

“MY-MY GIRLFRIEND-SHE’S-”

his voice cracked and he didn’t have time to register what he called you. 

sukuna just didn’t know what to refer to you as because friend was wrong. 

even girlfriend was wrong. you were everything. 

and you were in there. 

“FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF ME-” 

the heat hit his face een from where he stood, smoke burned his lungs, hands clawing at the men restraining him. his chest felt hollow. 

he could actively feel himself break, well and truly. 

he wished he never left, he wished it was him in there. 

if you and yuji were in there, he wanted to go right along with you. 

and that’s when the sobs ripped out of him, raw and all too real. 

“please, please-” he broke slowly, sobbing as the fireman held him against his chest and just as he began stilling, it was like another surge of energy hit and he couldn’t stop. 

sukuna began thrashing once more, scratching and tugging where the fireman pulled-

“ryomen!” a voice cut through everything, he barely heard it at first. 

“ryomen!” 

mrs.burke, the old woman that resided in the house right across from him, rushed forward in her nightgown, “i saw them!” 

sukuna’s head snapped toward her so violently, it made him dizzy as he finally stilled in the men’s hold. 

“who?” 

“yuji-he was crying” she stated breathlessly as she stopped just a foot away from him, blonde hair askew, “and your little friend, she was carrying him! they were running toward the main road!” 

the world went dead quiet in his ears. 

“they left?” his voice was raw and hoarse and still untrusting. 

“they ran out the back maybe fifteen minutes before the fire got bad!” 

fifteen minutes. 

fifteen minutes. 

his brain latched onto it.

the thought made him lurch forward, hands on his knees as he dry heaved, nothing coming out. 

he felt absolutely sick at the thought of you and yuji in there. 

but then his knees nearly gave out, relief hitting so hard, it hurt. 

you got out, you got his brother out. 

but the relief didn’t last. 

because if you weren’t here, you were somewhere else. 

you still thought he left you, you were probably crying, overthinking-

the thought snapped something inside him. 

sukuna shoved past the firefighters, “HEY! KID!” 

but sukuna was already running again. 

even faster this time, faster than before, not towards the fire but towards you. 

the streets blurred around him as his chest heaved with effort. 

his lungs burned and sweat poured down his back, hands shaking and he didnt even realize he was crying until his vision blurred. 

sukuna hadn’t cried in years, not when things went bad, not at his father’s cruelty, not when he was alone. 

but the idea of walking into that house and not finding you? the thought of leaving you? 

that has destroyed him in under thirty seconds.

sukuna ran harder, every step replaying images his brain wouldn’t stop feeding him. 

you trapped, yuji screaming, your bracelet on the ground.

sukuna ran until his chest felt like it would split open. 

until your house came into view, lights on and front door closed but he could see a familiar figure on the steps. 

just as sukuna stoped short of your front steps, chest heaving and sweat rolling down his brow, your mom turned to him, mouth agape. 

he could see the exhaustion on her face, no doubt as a result of whatever the fuck had happened when he left. 

“oh, ryomen-” 

sukuna stepped forward, allowing his chest to cave as your mother gathered him in her arms, warm and comforting, her shampoo resembling your own. 

your mother’s soothing words barely registered as sukuna heaved into the fabric of her sweater, mind hazy and far away until-

“ryo?” 

his head tilted up and he couldn’t breathe. 

your eyes were bloodshot and face blotchy with tears, lips bitten and swollen. 

sukuna could see yuji stood behind you, blanket around his little shoulders and big brown eyes looking up at sukuna with both confusion and relief. 

another pair of doe eyes looked down at him with something akin to relief, as well as pain. 

you were alive. 

and when he stood up, swallowing gently, eyes boring into yours and silently pleading. 

pleading for you to understand, for your forgiveness.

your face broken then and that was all it took as he crossed the rest of the distance in three strides, dropping down in front of yuji first, hands moving as he touched his face, his shoulders, his hair. 

“you okay?” he demanded roughly and yuji nodded once. 

“we’re staying here! we don’t have to go back home, kuna!” 

sukuna merely nodded once, he didn’t have it in him to dwell on what would happen next. 

sukuna’s gaze lifted slowly to you and you looked wrecked. 

your hair was a mess, you were barefoot and your hair stuck to your damp cheeks. 

your mouth parted to speak, say what, he didn’t know. he didn’t let you, grabbing you and pulling you into him with so much force, it nearly knocked the air from you. 

sukuna buried his face into your shoulder like if he didn't physically hold you to him, you might disappear. 

you felt it then, his body shaking. 

his hands trembled where they gripped your back, “i thought-” 

his throat closed up before he could finish and you’d never felt him like that before. 

sukuna was absolutely undone and you couldn’t blame him. 

“ryo…” you breathed out into his neck and he held you even tighter as you swallowed gently, “your dad-”

“i know.” 

you didn’t want to dissect it yet, you didn’t think he’d want to ever. 

“m’sorry i left.” 

it was a whisper against your hair as his hand travelled up to grip at your locks. 

you shook your head against him, “they say your dad covered the place with liquor, kuna. he was going to set the place on fire anyways. if you hadn’t left, i wouldn’t have gotten yuji out-” 

“stop-” 

“you saved him, ryo-”

“no, stop-”

“i don’t care that you left, you came back-” 

a guttural sound left him then as you held him tighter. 

“i’ll never leave you again.”

and he truly and absolutely meant it, with everything in him. 

☾

a sensation on your back pulled you out of your dreamless sleep. 

half asleep when he nudged you harder, not aggressive but persistent. 

“brat. wake up.” 

you groaned into the pillow, pulling the plush blanket over your head, “shut up.” 

it was quiet for a second before you felt sukuna’s hands slide under the blanket and his warm palm pressed against your hip, “wanna go for a drive.” 

you didn’t move, silence stretching before you spoke, “are you stupid.” 

he huffs out a laugh, as if expecting your words, “c'mon, woman.” 

you peel the blanket down just enough to glare at him, doe eyes glistening with the remnants of sleep trying to lull you back in, “what time is it.” 

“one.” 

you groaned once more, eyes gazing up at the man droopily, his pink hair messy against the dim yellow glow of your bedside lamp. his eyes were lazy but awake, wide awake. 

“why, ryo-” you whined, eyes fluttering shut as the man huffed, pulling th blanket down and effortlessly pulling your body up with one hand, pressing you against him. 

the warmth that encompassed you under the blanket disappeared causing you to whine, latching onto him, only in your panties after your excursions earlier in the night after the bar. 

“kuna!” 

the man merely chuckled gently, moving around as you stayed latched onto him, eyes shut as he pulled on a pair of sweats before placing you on the foot of your bed. 

and fuck, you looked like a dream. 

sukuna looked down at you, something tight in his chest as his eyes studied you like something holy. 

all mussed up locks from his hands and your deep sleep, lips swollen from his kisses and pouty as your doe eyes glared up at him with something softer than you intended. your lashes fluttered and your pretty body was bare aside from your underwear and he had to resist the urge to pull you right back into bed and keep you up for a completely different reason. 

he was gentle as he pulled your sweats up your legs and his sweater over your body, pressing a kiss to your nose when your head reappeared when the sweater engulfed you. 

sukuna leaned down to pull your fluffy socks up your cold feet, “let’s go, baby.” 

you huffed as sukuna leaned down, pulling you up and into him as your head fell into the crook of his neck. victory.

the truck engine hummed low against the quiet of the sleeping city. 

you sat in the passenger seat with your knees tucked into your chest, the sleeve of sukuna’s sweater engulfing both your hands to your advantage, shielding you from the cold despite his truck’s heater on. 

your cheek rested on his hand that was placed on your knee, eyes hazy and low as you watched the trees blur past you.

landslide played softly through the speakers, cold air blowing your hair through the cracked window. 

his hand was heavy where it held you, grounding and real, thumb brushing idle circles on the soft fabric of your sweats. 

you stared out into the dark road, watching streetlights pass like slow blinking stars. 

you and sukuna hadn’t said a word since he delicately placed you into his truck with a there ya go, baby.

“you always do this after something happens.” you murmur, breath brushing against his hand as his heart leaped gently. 

“what, brat?” his gruff voice was gentler than usual, almost gentle and low as his finger twitched against your cheek like you'd awoken something in him. 

“drive.” 

sukuna doesn’t answer immediately, letting out a breath. 

“y’know what you do after somethin’ big?” he replies instead as you hummed, “overthink. gives me a headache.” 

you roll your eyes, “annoying.” 

“mm.” 

“you dragged me out of bed at one in the morning.” 

“it’ll do ya some good, trust me.” 

you turn your head to glare up at him, immediately spotting the little smirk on his face. he didn’t turn to look at you, though, eyes ahead. 

obnoxious, infuriating and so utterly yours. 

the deserted lot greets you like it always has, open and quiet. far from everything. 

and the sky is clear tonight, stars wide and scattered like something painted careless and beautiful. 

you already knew the drill, opening your car door and climbing out without being told. 

sukuna circled the truck quietly, watching you with that same slow and unreadable gaze. 

sukuna unclasped the latch that held the ledge of the bed up and as you moved to climb up, his hands grounded themselves on your hips, effortlessly moving you up and onto the already spread blankets. 

he settles you onto the warmth as you climbed further in, watching as he followed you. 

sukuna pulled himself up beside you with effortless strength, air sharp but cool against you. 

sukuna laid down first, eyes low as he reached for you instantly and you didn’t hesitate. 

you slid against him instinctively, back warm against his broad chest, his arm immediately wrapping around your middle as if trying to fuse you against him. 

he gently adjusts you once, tucks you closer, chin setting over your shoulder. his breath was warm, ghosting against your neck as your head leaned back into the crook of his neck, wide eyes fixated on the blinking stars above. 

for a minute, neither of you speak, crickets filling the silence as you both watched the sky above, something warm between you, real and true. 

“i can’t ever count the stars here.” you mumble as sukuna hummed behind you, voice rumbling against his chest, into your back. 

“you’d always lose track.” 

you smiled gently, with or without you playing softly from inside the car, making your chest ache but brows furrow, “since when do you listen to u2?” 

“i don’t,” he murmured instantly, “but you do.” 

something settled in your chest as you moved your hand to the side, feeling for his phone beside him, taking a hold of it. 

his phone screen stared back, the wallpaper a picture of you and yuji when you were younger one summer. but illuminating against the wallpaper was the playlist playing, the name being songs for her. 

your heart leaped, knowing as you pressed on the playlist and began scrolling through. sukuna let you do as you pleased. the old him would’ve done everything to hide that small semblance of vulnerability but he already laid everything out on the table, he didn’t have anything to hide now. 

the songs ranged from frank ocean to fifty cent. 

“21 questions?!” you gasped as you turned to him, “that’s so romantic.”

he rolled his eyes once, “all the songs on the goddamn playlist and that’s the song that has you emotional?” 

you merely pouted gently, “we love that song.” 

“yeah, we do.” 

he pulled you against him tighter as you sighed gently, head tilting to rest against his arm. 

“i could always count more stars than you.” 

“cuz you’d distract me, brat.” 

“how?” 

he doesn’t answer, merely huffing a quiet laugh against your hair. 

you elbow him lightly, “how, ryo?” 

“by you yappin’.” 

you gasp, “i do not talk that much!” 

“you narrate your own thoughts-”

“that is healthy!” 

“it’s weird, baby.” 

you wiggle in his hold, pretending to get up. 

sukuna tightens his arm instantly, “don’t.” 

you huffed, slumping against him, “you said i’m weird.” 

“i said it’s weird.” 

“yeah, yeah.” 

your lips twitched despite it all, biting back a smile as sukuna pressed gentle kisses against the skin of your neck. 

the silence that follows isn’t uncomfortable, it’s full in the best way possible. 

your fingers lace over his forearms, warm skin under cold air. 

“ryo.” 

he hums.

“are we gonna be okay?” 

with no hesitation or deflection, he answers, “yeah.” 

and for whatever reason, maybe because it was him, the word soothed you. 

“you don’t think about it?” 

“there’s nothin’ to think about. m’not gamblin’ with you again. this is it, baby.” 

your throat thickens, “that’s intense.” 

“yeah.”

“you say stuff like you’re proposing.” 

he huffs out a quiet laugh, “if i was proposin', you’d know.” 

you turn your head slightly to look up at him, moonlight catching the sharp planes of his face. 

sukuna looked steady, so so steady. 

“you’re obsessed with me.” you whispered softly. 

he doesn’t deny it, “been.” 

“hmm, won’t get tired of me?” 

“anyone else probably would be. not me-”

you were already offended, gasping softly, “excuse me!”

“you’re dramatic, you spiral and overthink-”

“because of you!” 

he pressed a slow kiss to your cheek, then your temple, then your jaw then finally hovered above your pouty lips. 

“yeah.” 

you go quiet as he pressed his lips against your own, firm and warm, thumb caressing back and forth on your ribs. 

for all the bickering and brattiness, he hadn’t loosened his hold on you once. and beneath his gruffness, there was something so terrifyingly soft. 

you wiggle again as he pulled away, allowing you to catch your breath, “cold.” 

sukuna shifted immediately, pulling you even closer if that was humanly possible, pulling the blanket up your smaller frame, “better?” 

“i guess.”’

he rolled his eyes, “you’re impossible.” 

“and yet…”

“and yet.” 

sukuna pressed his nose briefly into your hair, the stars blurring slightly when you blink, not from tears but the weight of it all. 

he adjusts you once more, pulling you into him so your face rested against his neck, warmth encompassing you, solid and certain. 

as if he was built to hold things that try to slip away. 

and for once, you didn’t feel like slipping.

☾

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ ᴀɴ | this is out of the blue but felt inspired so finished up this chapterrr! sorry to keep u guys waiting for so long, hope it was worth itttt! AHH I LOVE THEM SM AND THEIR NEW DYNAMIC! (also peep the ari lyric my queen)

your body folded in on itself like it’d been holding you upright with effort on borrowed time, knees hugging to your chest as a sob caught in your throat. 

you allowed yourself to cry and sob and claw at your chest for a good five minutes before you tried to settle down. 

crying wouldn’t fix anything, it certainly wouldn’t bring him back and it wouldn’t stop his home from being what it always was. hell on earth. 

and you remembered, through the blurriness and shivers…take care of yuji, yeah?

and your feet moved before your brain did. 

because if sukuna could run, then you could run too. 

just in the opposite direction. 

the first thing you thought as you stood before sukuna’s home is that it was eerily quiet. 

usually, you could hear yuji’s yelling from the porch or even his father’s drunken yells or sukuna’s booming voice yelling back. 

you didn’t hear a thing. and something squeezed in your chest. 

with a shuddering breath, eyes still raw and puffy, you slowly made your way up the porch steps, heart thudding in anticipation. 

something twisted in your gut, screaming that something was deeply wrong. 

you knew which boards creaked on the steps and avoided them. you knew which window latch didn’t close properly and tilted your head to see the glow of the living room television through the blinds. 

the living room light was off but someone was watching tv. and you doubted it was yuji. 

your stomach dropped. 

you didn’t even attempt to enter through the front door. no, that would be stupid. a death wish dressed up as bravery. you had no interest in being brave. 

you went around the side, fingers numb from the cold but palms damp with anxiety. your movements were that of a ghost. 

the back door stuck like it always did, swollen wood and extremely cheap hinges. your hand placed itself on the cold doorknob, easing it open one careful inch at a time until the gap was just enough for you to slip through. 

fuck, you felt sick. 

the warmth hit you first, not the light kind, but the kind that alerted your body that it was entering somewhere. 

and then the smell hit you next, your nose wrinkling in distaste and confusion. what the fuck was that?

it wasn’t cigarette smoke or beer. 

this was more sharp, chemical and it reeked. 

your nose stung so bad that your eyes watered instantly and for a second, you gagged at the odor. 

you were so out of it, you couldn’t even really place the scent, not fully. your brain tried to rationalize it because it always did when something felt too dangerous, when you were on high alert. 

the best and most logical explanation was that sukuna’s father had dropped one of his many bottles of alcohol. yes, that was causing the sharp stench. 

but would one bottle be strong enough to elicit this strong of a smell? 

you didn’t have time to stand and try to figure it out, though, there was no time. 

from the living room came the low murmur of the television, and you could hear sukuna’s father’s drunken low slurs to himself, the clinking of glass, a cough. 

fuck, your skin crawled. 

your eyes darted around the kitchen and for a second, you wondered what it’d be like to just plunge the steak knife on the table in his neck. 

to be over with this hell. 

to have ryo come back. 

what the hell were you thinking?

you took a deep breath as your eyes assessed the floorboard to avoid any step you knew would creak. 

if he saw you, it was over. not over like you’d get yelled at and sent home, but over like you might not make it out the door. not with yuji, at least. and you couldn’t leave him. 

so you forced your body to move anyway, stepping forward with every ounce carefulness you could muster up in your shaken state. 

the hallway was black, the air felt heavy and thick like the smell had soaked into the walls and the carpet. 

you retched. like physically doubled over for a moment. 

this couldn’t be the spill of a glass of alcohol, not even a bottle. 

that gut feeling twisted once more. you needed to get out of here. just not without yuji. 

you took another step forward and your shoe slid just a little, sending a cold shock straight up your spine at the idea of falling and alerting their dad of your presence. 

your heart was beating a mile a minute as you looked down. the floor was slick. 

a thin, glistening sheen, catching what little light bled from the living room.

your stomach lurched, breath catching so hard it hurt. 

you didn’t know what it was, nor did you long to know. 

your sure you knew what it was, somewhere in your brain but your brain wasn’t fully with you right now. 

you only had one objective and that was bring yuji home to yours. 

so you didn’t allow yourself to think long enough for the truth to land. 

with each step you took, your stomach twisted, skirting the wet patches like they might snap up and bite you. 

your heart hammered in your ears so loud, you were worried it would give you away, that he’d hear it. 

and when you heard their father yell something at the tv, you didn’t stop, you kept moving, slow and calculated. 

one hand braced against the wall, fingers feeling for balance, for an anchor of some sort. for anything steady in a house that had never known steadiness a day in it’s life. 

yuji’s room was at the very end of the hall and as you passed by sukuna’s closed door, you didn’t let your eyes linger on it, not as your chest began cracking open once more. 

you reached yuji’s door and paused. 

what if he wasn’t home? part of you hoped he wasn’t because this feeling in your gut was only getting louder, screaming and begging for you to leave. 

run, run, run. 

you wouldn’t leave him. 

you tried the door and it was locked. fuck fuck fuck. 

you knocked once, quiet and low as your eyes darted towards the end of the hall where his father would appear if any sound were to come. 

nothing. 

you knocked once more, heart erratic and movements desperate. 

then you heard a small rustle, a shuffle of sorts. 

then a small and hesitant voice pierce through the wood, trembling like it had learned that any sound would be punished. 

“who is it?” 

your throat closed and you swallowed it open. 

“it’s me, yuji,” you whispered lowly, only hoping he’d be able to still hear you through the door, “it’s okay, kid. open the door, buddy, just a little, okay? quietly.”

the door clicked open immediately and your eyes immediately met yuji’s small figure. much too small for an eight year old. 

his salmon hair was sticking up the crown like he’d been tossing and turning, bare feet on cold floor. his bright red pajamas adorning his figure and drowning it. 

as his gaze snapped up to you, you momentarily watched the relief immediately fill his gaze, so fast, it almost looked like he was in pain. 

“you’re-“ 

his voice was too loud, quick to stop speaking when you pressed your index finger to your lips. 

he stopped himself like he’d remembered the rules. 

you crouched down immediately, ignoring the liquid that was seeping into your jeans. 

fuck, it really did reek in here. 

“hi, kid,” you breathed out, forcing softness into your voice as it fell over him like a blanket, smiling gently though pained and forced, “you’re okay.”

his eyes immediately flicked behind you as your hands held his, almost like he’d expected a shadow to lunge itself at you. 

“he came in and he poured something all over my room,” he whispered as your brows furrowed, looking down at his carpet that was stained darker in some spots, “and he’d drinking again. he told me to stay here and said to try to sleep. h-he said i shouldn’t leave.”

your jaw clenched, hard. fucking sadistic asshole. 

you couldn’t let your anger overcome you, not now. 

“it’s okay, kid, you’re okay…” you gulped softly as you brushed his arms gently, eyes flicking over to the end of the hall, “listen, we’re gonna go to my house, okay?” 

yuji’s eyes lit up, “really? will your mom be there? will she give me ice cream?” 

your heart cracked but you smiled softly, “oh, yeah. she’d got all kinds of flavors stocked up for you. we just gotta get out of here first, okay?” 

yuji immediately smiled and nodded, child-like excitement filling him and you wanted to cry. 

“will sukuna come?” 

your chest tightened so hard, you almost couldn’t take in a breath. 

you couldn’t tell him, not like this. 

so you lied, gentle and promising. 

“sukuna…just needed some air, okay?” you whispered a you watched his face soften in a way that made you want to sob all over again. 

yuji nodded fast, “where is he?” 

your throat burned but you smiled once more anyway. 

“he’s, uh, he’s gonna come over later, okay?” your voice shook, “but right now, i need you to be really good for me, yeah?” 

yuji blinked up at you, small but trusting as he nodded. 

you heard commotion from the living room and your stomach lurched once more. you were running out of time. 

“we have to go now, okay? cmon.” 

his little hand immediately gripped yours, his bare feet on wood and glistening with whatever liquid was on the floor. there was no time for shoes, though. 

his fingers were cold and yours were even colder. 

you guided him down the hallway and though he wasn’t completely sure what was going on, he knew something was wrong just as much as you did. 

both of you froze at the sudden sound from the living room, a chair scraping the floor and your heart stopped. 

yuji’s grip tightening immediately, small body gluing to yours and squeezing, hard enough to hurt. like a child bracing for impact. 

you couldn’t breathe and you waited. 

nothing more followed, no footsteps or yelling. 

you waited a few more seconds, three, five, ten before moving once more, pulling the little boy with you, careful around the slick floor. 

and you were suddenly glad he wasn’t wearing shoes, worried for the squeaking that would otherwise occur. 

and when you both came into light, you could both see the back of his father’s head as he took a gulp of his liquor, murmuring something along the lines of it’ll all be okay. 

you shuddered as you turned back to the back door that was still slightly ajar from your earlier entrance. 

slowly, you made your way towards it, careful, up until yuji slipped on the whatever liquid was beneath you. 

his small body almost fell with a thud until you gripped his hand hard and pulled him up when he was just an inch away from the ground. 

your gazes met for a second, two, eyes wide and unblinking, both alert. 

a baited breath passed before you couldn’t take it anymore, kneeling down to lift the boy into your arms. 

thank god the boy was lighter and smaller than boys his age. you held him against you as you made your way towards the door, almost slipping once before the cold outside hit you both as you finally slipped out. 

yuji sucked in a breath like he hadn’t realized he was allowed to inhale. 

and you both still didn’t make a sound, both never looked back once as you tucked yuji closer, guiding him across the yard and through the narrow gap in the fence you and sukuna used to always sneak through years ago. 

“i’m scared.” yuji whispered against your neck as you led him down the sidewalk, away from his godforsaken home, away from his nightmare of a father and away from everything he’d ever had the displeasure of knowing. 

“i know, kid, i know. it’ll be okay. you’re safe now.” 

you walked faster, breaths coming out in clouds. 

your legs ached, your chest ached even more. 

and all the while, your mind kept screaming one name over and over again, like a prayer.

sukuna. sukuna. sukuna. 

tears fell against your cheek as yuji hugged you tighter, as if he could feel it. 

the boy in your arms was real. he was here. 

the one in your heart and mind was long gone. 

so you held onto yuji tighter as you made your way home. 

and later that night, you found out that the mystery liquid was gasoline. 

☾

the first thing sukuna noticed was the cold.

it seeped into his skin where warmth should’ve been. 

his eyes fluttered open after a moment of dread, but sukuna knew what would meet his gaze once he opened his eyes. 

emptiness. 

where you had feel asleep beside him, on him, pressed against him was empty. just cold sheets in place of your warmth. 

consciousness crept in slowly, cruelly, but he didn’t have to be fully awake to understand that you weren’t there anymore. 

for a second, his mind tried to fill in the space beside him. it tried to convince him you were just in the bathroom or downstairs making pancakes. 

but he knew the truth because he knew you. 

he pushed himself up on one elbow, eyes scanning the room with a sharpness that didn’t match the hour. 

your phone wasn’t on the nightshade, your clothes not on the floor and he had finally conceded to the reality facing him. 

you were gone. 

his chest tightened, “fuck!” 

the word left him all hoarse, scraped raw from his throat like he’d been screaming for hours. 

sukuna was shirtless, only clad in his black briefs as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, dread settling deep in his gut as his hands gripped the edge of the mattress for a moment, hoping the touch would ground him. 

he didn’t want to admit it to himself, nor did he want to accept it but again, he knew you. so he knew what you’d done. 

there was no point in checking the rooms, you were long gone. 

the house felt quiet, a wrong kind of quiet that was so far from peace. 

like something essential had slipped out beneath the walls while he’d slept and taken every semblance of warmth with it. 

his hands flexed once more before standing up. 

a dozen thoughts barreled not his mind at once.

she regrets it. 

she hates me. 

i crossed the line. 

she realized she made a mistake. 

the last thought lodged itself deepest, twisting at his heart until he felt a bit nauseous.

nauseous, yes. angry? fuck yes. 

he was absolutely furious. 

because he also knew that amongst your possible regret and overthinking, you probably doubted his feelings for you. you were probably convincing yourself that he was simply acting out of wrong emotion, impulse. 

idiot couldn’t be more wrong. 

he moved into the bathroom with a heaviness in his chest, jaw clenched as he looked up at the mirror. 

“fuck!” his hand slammed against the counter hard enough to rattle the cabinets. his breathing came faster now, chest rising sharp and uneven as his mind spiraled to places it knew all too well. places that reeked of self-destruction, where he always ended up alone. 

he scrubbed a hand down his face, fingers trembling despite his efforts to stay steady. 

i should’ve stopped. i should’ve waited. i should’ve, i should’ve, i should’ve-

he stopped, just for a moment, he allowed himself to take a breath. 

those doubts never did him any good. 

for years and years, he’d lived with that voice telling him he needed to pull back, he needed to stop, he needed to distance himself. 

sukuna was fucking sick of it. 

yesterday, he’d felt emotions he’d never fucking felt before. 

sukuna felt so much relief, years and years and years of weight on his chest being lifted the moment your lips pressed against his. 

sukuna believed you’d never want anything to do with him in that sense, not after all he’s done, not after the fire. 

and ryomen sukuna, more than anyone, knew you. so how could he be wrong? 

but maybe he didn’t really know you like he thought he did. 

because he wasn’t crazy. he felt you yesterday, he felt the way you wanted, needed him. no one could fake that, especially not you. 

sukuna recognized himself in you yesterday. 

he recognized the desperation, the need, the softness in your gaze because he felt it all for you. he felt everything for you. 

so yes, maybe he didn’t know you like he thought and thank fuck for that. because that meant the little shitty voice in his head that consistently told him he wasn’t enough for you was wrong. 

you felt for him. and god, did he feel for you. 

so he’ll let you run, he’ll let you overthink and sulk and hide all you want. 

fuck, he’d do it with the biggest smile on his face because he knew under all those false thoughts, smothered with anxiety and denial…

you felt for him. you felt for him. 

and that was enough to have ryomen sukuna falling back asleep like a baby.

☾

you didn’t look back when the train doors slid shut. 

instead, you stumbled over to the closest window seat and slumped on the cushioned seat, sighing gently as your eyes gazed outside. 

you tried not to think. 

because if you allowed your mind to run again, if you remembered the warm house you’d left behind or the way sukuna’s body had been pressing against yours, your protector even in his sleep, you would turn around. 

and that terrified you. 

the train lurched forward, metal screeching softly as it steadily picked up speed. your eyes fluttered shut, heartbeat erratic as you tried to calm your breathing. 

memories flooded through you, calloused hands, hot breaths and groans. fuck, you were done for. 

you opened your eyes and looked towards the glass once more, your reflection staring back at you. you looked tired. 

you couldn’t stop replaying it. 

the kiss, the way he’d held you, the way he sounded when his voice softened as your name left his lips. 

you squeezed your eyes shut once more. 

it was a mistake. it had to be. 

because if it wasn’t, if what happened last night meant something then everything would change. and change had always been something you feared the most. you hated the unknown, you hated not knowing what would happen if you took that leap. 

your hands folded in your lap, fingers twisting into each other as they trembled slightly. 

you’d left before the sun fully rose. 

you laid there for a total of twenty minutes, sukuna’s arm draped against you, a strong leg bent over you, as if he was stopping you from leaving. as if he knew. 

for twenty minutes, your mind had worked overtime, replaying everything that had happened and coming up with the worst case scenarios of what would happen. 

and twenty minutes later, you came up with the conclusion that sukuna would pretend it never happened, that he’d know it was a mistake, that he’d only done it because he was emotional, impulsive. 

because ryomen sukuna didn’t want you like that, he couldn’t. 

no, that would be too fucking cruel. 

if he had wanted you all this time like last night suggested, if he’d longed for you, if he’d gotten that tattoo because he felt for you, then everything you’d known about him was wrong. 

then he’d tortured you for years unnecessarily. 

he could’ve given you everything you’d wanted. him. 

but he didn’t. instead, he went on rampages, chased off any guy that ever had the balls to want you with sukuna around and made you believe that you were only friends. 

and you didn’t know how to live with that. 

so, you decided that sukuna had only done what he did because of mere instinct. you were both emotional, both on edge. 

if, for a second, you allowed yourself to believe sukuna actually wanted you, then that spark of hope you’d snuffed out long ago would light again. 

because you knew sukuna had to have felt for you once, right?

the night he left when you were both sixteen. he kissed you. 

slow and soft and quick, but he did it. 

maybe it was merely a goodbye, maybe it was just out of pure emotion and sadness because he was leaving. 

but he still took your first kiss. 

and you were his ever since. 

but you couldn’t be. and that kiss was never brought up again.

you had left a bit after 5am, uber waiting outside when you’d left the gated house. you stood outside the door of the uber for a few seconds, hand stilling on the handle of the door before the driver had rushed you in, chest aching because you felt like you were abandoning him. 

you didn’t let yourself look back, couldn’t bear the thought of him asleep and peaceful when you felt like you were falling apart. 

your phone vibrated in your pocket and your breath hitched. 

your heart leapt, violent and immediate, before reason kicked in. 

no, it couldn’t be sukuna. 

you knew him, if he was awake by now, he was absolutely furious with you. he wouldn’t call you. 

you didn’t breathe until the vibration stopped. then your phone pinged. 

you knew him. you knew him. 

it wasn’t him. 

it was probably shoko or utahime asking where you were. or yuji sending you a stupid meme. 

you pulled out your phone then. 

ryo : nice one  7:02am 

your breath hitched. 

the guilt set in then. heavy and suffocating. 

because you’d seen his face last night, you’d felt how badly he wanted it at the moment, wanted you. and you’d still left without giving him anything real to hold onto. without giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

and your thoughts seemed even more like a reach now. 

because you’d realized something. 

maybe you didn’t quite know sukuna like you’d once anticipated. 

you always prided yourself on knowing the complex and hotheaded ryomen sukuna more than anyone, even his own brother. 

for years, you’d almost anticipated each of his actions, you knew the way his brain worked, you knew how he thought. 

but you were wrong this time. he did call. 

what does that mean? 

could it be that you were wrong about yesterday too? 

could ryo feel for you like you did him? like you loved him?

well, you couldn’t find out now because you didn’t even give him the chance to prove anything. you ran. 

just like he did all those years ago. just like, for a while, you hated him for. did he hate you now? 

you felt sick at the thought for a moment. 

just a week ago, you’d told him you didn’t want to see him anymore and here you were, genuinely sick at the thought of it. 

you pressed your forehead to the cold window, breath fogging the glass. 

you could still feel him. his hands, his warmth, the way he’d looked at you like you were giving him food and shelter when he’d been starving and cold for years. 

your chest ached with it. you didn’t know how to want something so badly and be so terrified of it at the same time. 

☾

by the time ryomen sukuna, alpha phi vice president and star quarterback, was back on campus, it was like he’d never left. 

that was the first lie. 

the second was his face as a whole, settled into that same familiar mask he’d worn his whole life. calm, blank, unbothered and confident. 

like he didn’t constantly feel an ache behind his ribs or the ghost of you against his skin. 

the frat house was loud before he’d even opened the door. 

shouting, yelling, footsteps and someone laughing like they’d been doing it for an hour straight. 

the familiar smell of dior sauvage, cheap bear and gojo’s citrus flavored pre-workout clung to the air. 

“BRO!” satoru practically launched himself at him and sukuna barely had time to blink before there were arms around his body, satoru clapping him on the back. “you’re back!” 

sukuna scowled instantly, fingers gripping satoru’s shirt and peeled the white-haired man away from him like he weighed nothing. 

gojo wasn’t phased, grinning gently, all too bright and relieved, “i knew she’d get your dumbass back!” 

sukuna’s jaw flexed once and he provided no answer as he walked towards the kitchen. 

geto was leaning on the counter, sipping a protein shake as he watched the salmon haired man through his lashes. he watched him like someone would watch a ticking time bomb, waiting and cautious. 

nanami was seated by the couch, notebook in hand that he’d placed down upon sukuna’s entrance, watching and waiting but trying not to stare. 

everyone was somehow loud but trying not to be. 

like the entire frat had discussed him prior to his arrival, agreeing not to take up too much space, not to push, not ask too many questions, not say your name too casually. 

satoru, of course, didn’t get the memo. 

“sooo,” he sang as he watched sukuna get a bottle of water from the fridge and begin chugging it, “how are you and our little princess? you two good now? she forgive you? did you grovel? DID SHE SLAP YOU-“ 

he ended with a gasp until he had finally noticed geto’s deadly glare, practically screaming at him to stop talking. 

slowly, sukuna glanced at satoru, no anger or annoyance on his face. 

just pure emptiness. and satoru’s grin faltered.

“uh, okay…never mind, then…” gojo cleared his throat once, eyes assessing his friend with both understanding and concern, “no pushing. got it.”

sukuna didn’t offer a reply, simply walking past his friend and making his way up the steps towards his room. 

and once the door shut behind him, his shoulders sagged and his eyes fell shut. 

he clenched his fists once and noticed how eerily steady he was. 

his breathing was even and his shoulders were lax but his mind was practically a war zone. because you’d left. 

you hadn’t replied to his text and frankly, he hadn’t expected you to. what with the shame and guilt and all. 

even though he’d made peace with you leaving, knowing what you were possibly thinking and clinging onto that damned hope in his chest that you’d somehow choose him…he still felt sick at the thought. 

he hated the thought of you regretting what you’d done, regretting him and believing he was some sort of passing mistake. 

because it was different with you two. it wasn’t as simple as two people liking each other and the universe pulling them apart. 

there was so much history between you both, so many emotions unsaid and memories kept close to your chests. there were passing moments only you remembered and more colossal chains of events that shaped the dynamic between you both, things none of your friends would understand. no one would understand but you. 

and fuck, he was angry. 

a simmering anger that sat deep in his gut and gripped at every part of him that still hoped you’d come back on your own. 

because god knows, if you took too long, sukuna wasn’t far behind you and he’d confront you if you let it linger. 

truthfully, he didn’t actually think you’d have the guts to leave. 

but you did. you’d been surprising him more and more lately, with your argument at the game and the way you’d kissed him. 

sukuna let out a deep breath as he walked towards his bed before hearing a knock on his door. he audibly groaned. 

“what?” sukuna practically barked as his door was gently pushed open and he could see the stark pair of pale blue eyes and immediately huffed, “what d’ya want?”

gojo cleared his throat, shifting on his feet before making his way inside the room, allowing the door to shut. 

he was uncharacteristically calm and it irked sukuna. 

“are you guys okay now?” sukuna’s jaw clenched at his friend’s words, “look, i know you don’t wanna talk about it and the guys’ll kill me if they find out but i gotta know.”

and sukuna didn’t know why but for whatever reason, he wanted to speak out. 

he wanted to tell someone. 

so he did. 

he told satoru about it all from the night of the game to the moment he’d woken up without you beside him. 

he could still taste you from last night, still feel the weight of you on him like you’d branded him and there was no going back. 

and now, you were probably back in your stupid apartment, overthinking yourself into a grave while sukuna pretended he wasn’t absolutely unraveling as he waited for you to come to your senses. 

and once he was done, satoru’s eyes were wide as he stood before him, hands on his hips, “woah…she like…left left?” 

sukuna’s eyes flickered to him, sharp now. 

gojo lifted both hands immediately, “right. sorry. stupid question.”

sukuna exhaled with a shake of his head, the silence stretching between them. 

and then satoru’s voice came softer, almost careful, “you know…i know you think you’re doing the right thing by letting her realize it for herself and y’know, coming back or whatever, but…” satoru paused momentarily, sighing once, “but it’s still a game, sukuna. you both have been playing this game for so long, years before we’d all even known you. and now things finally came to light and naturally, she freaks out because i mean, who wouldn’t? she’s always seen you as this one thing and you showed her another side of you and you’re still playing this stupid fucking game…” sukuna’s jaw clenched, “aren’t you fucking tired of games, man? give in, sukuna. give in and fucking admit defeat. you love her, you know you do, we all know you do. now, tell her you do.” 

and ryomen sukuna couldn’t breathe as satoru held up a mirror to his face. 

he was still running in circles, as he always did with you. because it was safer, easier, more comfortable that way. 

but the game was also torturous. like a never-ending loop of pain and yearning so deep, he couldn’t function. 

sukuna has carried yearning he didn’t know how to hold but didn’t know where to put down for years. you had been the one constant in his life since he was young and he didn’t know what to do with that. 

how can he express anything to you without explaining how deeply you were engraved in his chest? how can he explain that the love he held for you was so deep, it had always been accompanied with pain? 

satoru was right. sukuna was still playing this stupid game because he was afraid. 

he was afraid of change, of you looking at him differently, of not being loved the way he loved you. 

but then what? would he spend the rest of his life orbiting you from afar, burning you every time he came close to spilling whatever fire burned beneath his ribs? 

satoru’s words hung between them like a loaded gun. 

sukuna didn’t say much after that. he didn’t have to because his entire soul and body had already told on him. 

☾

your apartment was as quiet as it was warm. but not peaceful. 

just quiet. in a way rooms get when something’s missing. 

you’d showered since you got back, you reorganized your closet and arranged your bookshelf. you’d cleaned your kitchen twice and attempted to study but kept re-reading the same lecture slide over and over until your eyes stung. 

because every time there was a stretch of silence, the second you went still, you remembered him. 

you remembered the way he’d looked the morning after, with his tattooed skin and parted pink lips. 

you imagined what he’d looked like when he woke up, even though you weren’t there to see it, you could imagine it anyway. 

that was the curse of knowing someone for so long. you could picture his face even with your eyes closed, you could see every tattoo, freckle and indentation on his face. 

even if you were blind, you believe you would know him instantly. 

you didn’t know what to do. you didn’t know how to deal with this feeling in your chest, you could barely even recognize it. 

it was longing mixed with a sense of guilt. you felt guilty for leaving, you did. 

and you didn’t know what to do. 

your thoughts were cut off by a knock on your door that startled you so much so, you almost dropped the mug of tea in your hands. 

you sighed gently as your heart hammered, making your way to the door in your little fuzzy socks, hair still damp and your oversized sweater swallowing you whole. 

could it be? 

shoko stood there with her tote bag slung over one shoulder when you opened the door, utahime beside her with her arms crossed and expression blank in the way that made you feel like she could see right through ypu. 

shakos eyes swept over your face, “well, you’re alive.” 

you blinked, “hello to you too.” 

they had texted you a couple of times since you’d left to the beach house yesterday but you hadn’t replied, sukuna stealing any bit of energy you had to face anyone. 

utahime pushed past you without waiting for your invitation, shoko following as you sighed softly, shutting and locking the door. 

“okay,” shoko dropped onto your couch and patted the space beside her, “what’d you do?” 

you stayed standing, doe eyes wide and glassy as you watched them both. 

you couldn’t sit because sitting meant stilling and if you settled, you might start crying. 

“um, i-“ you gulped softly, “i think i messed up.”

shoko’s brows lifted, “no way.”

utahime deadpanned from where she’d been stationed by your armchair, “shocking.”

you shot them both a look, annoyed even as your chest tightened and the walls felt like they were closing in on you. 

“we kissed.” shoko and hime both straightened up immediately, eyes widening and mouth parting to start spewing words you didn’t want to hear so you kept going, “we kissed. then he, um, well, touched me. then we slept. then i left.” 

your words were simple despite the complexity of the situation and they both watched you like you had two heads. 

“you…left?” hime voiced slowly, as if confirming something she’d hoped she misheard. 

you nodded once. 

shoko’s mouth was still parted, “why.”

because if you stayed, you’d have to face it all. you might finally admit you weren’t simply his best friend. you’d have to hear him out. 

because if you had stayed, you’d have to allow yourself to possibly be wanted without flinching. 

you exhaled shakily, “i panicked.”

shoko made a strangled sound, “you panicked? after you two finally-“

“you’re an idiot.” utahime spoke like a judge delivering a sentence. 

you mouth parted. you predicted that they might gently scold you but you didn’t think they’d be this shocked. 

“i couldn’t face him, not after everything. i don’t wanna hear him tell me to forget it happened or try to pretend nothing happened or push it under the rug or that it was a mistake-“

“do you know how much that man loves you?” 

your stomach dropped, heart stilling at hime’s words.

you scoffed immediately because denial was muscle memory when it came to sukuna. 

“he is stupidly, disgustingly, violently, insatiably in love with you since before we’d ever even met you. he doesn’t even try to hide it so lord knows how you haven’t noticed.” shoko spoke firmly before you could get a word in, eyes wide and trained on you as you shifted, feeling bile rise at the mere conversation. 

“you don’t know that…” you swallowed, index nail digging into that raw patch on your thumb and hime noticed, sighing softly as she said your name all gentle. 

“he doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at you…” hime began slowly, “actually, he doesn’t do anything with anyone the way he does with you. he speaks to you different, acts different, looks different, fucking breathes different.”

utahime laughed but it wasn’t amused, it was smothered with disbelief and sympathy. sympathy for you, even for sukuna. for all the years you’d both let pass without allowing yourselves the privilege of finally having one another. 

silence swallowed the room as you tried to blink back tears and they both watched with heavy hearts as you came to terms with it all in your head. 

“why did you run?,” shoko softly said your name, “when will it end? you said it yourself, you love him! and i know, deep down, you know he loves you! if ryomen fucking sukuna is capable of love, god knows it’s with you and no one else. who else, literally?”

tears began trickling down your soft cheeks as your hands trembled. 

more and more, with each passing moment, the guilt grew and right alongside it, that fuckass light of hope. 

even as you let the silence linger, utahime and shoko could both see the resolve in your gaze. 

“okay,” shoko stood up abruptly, pointing at hime like she was giving an order, “what time is it?”

uthaime glanced at her phone, “ten forty seven.”

you blinked with a soft sniffle, “what?” 

shoko made her way into your room, rummaging and shuffling as you looked at utahime who simply shrugged. shoko came back out in a minute with your coat and a pair of pants, “here. put these on.”

your eyes shifted from the clothing to her gaze, “what are you doing?”

shoko looked at you as if you were the frantic one, “you’re going to fix this.” 

your heart slammed against your ribs at the mere prospect of facing him, “no.”

“yes.”

“i don’t even know what to say.”

shoko stared you down, “you say the truth.”

you gulped gently, hands trembling as you shook your head softly when utahime moved to stand before you as well. 

“give yourself five minutes,” you looked up at her gentle gaze, “you don’t have to be brave forever. go be honest for five minutes.”

your mind screamed at you to run, to protect yourself. but your chest screamed louder, for him, for the chance to finally reveal everything. 

so you nodded. 

you pulled on the knit pants shoko had handed you, heart beating a mile minute as you pulled on your trench coat as well. 

then you walked out into the cold and towards the frat as if they were holding your execution. 

☾

the frat house was weirdly quiet for a friday night. 

you were expecting one of satoru’s themed parties, alcohol and sweaty bodies. 

alas, the house sounded like it was grieving.

it unsettled you but you forced yourself to move anyway, taking gentle steps forward, mind whirring with words, with what you were gonna say. 

and once you pushed the door open, you were met with the quiet you were now expecting, eyes filtering through the space to see some of the pledges by the kitchen counter, voices low as they murmured. 

you could feel the low energy in the house. it resembled he quiet in a childhood home when a parent was mad and everyone was just on edge. tense.

the pledges' eyes shot up once you entered before they shot you a quick smile and looked down, as if given orders by someone to not look at you. you knew who.