Thinking of Rachel.
The Doctor: It's funny, the day you lose someone isn't the worstāat least you've got something to do. It's all the days they stay dead.
First red flag: General Aziraphale?? Brave guardian, fierce defenderā¦but leading other angels to slaughterāor be slaughtered byātheir brethren? Never.
Muttās Spouse couldnāt get a name?!? Even the disposable demon got a name.
āYou go too fast for meā¦ā The breakneck pacing, trying to squeeze in all the absolutely most pertinent bits, sacrificed the softness & humor of the previous 12 episodes. I feel l missed so much just trying to keep up & frankly Iām not sure Iāll be able to watch it again any time soon. Which brings me toā¦
That ending. I didnāt think anything could be worse than the last minutes of season 2. Jesus gluten-free-crust-pizza was I wrong, and I didnāt even understand why until days later.
The third anniversary of my husbandās death fell 2 days after the premier. He had dementia (likely FTD) & I was his sole caregiver for the last few years of his life. Gradually his ability to communicate failed; his memories faded, of everything he was/had been. I lost him long before he was actually gone. The idea of our 40 years togetherāour lives, our loveāevaporating into nothingness was incomprehensible to me.
It took 4 days for the realization to coalesce in my brain, & when it came it was like a baseball bat to the back of the head. Six thousand years of friendship, adventures, camaraderieāLOVEāvanished; or worse, never existed at all. Thatās what was so triggering to me. But that wasnāt all.
Seeing Anthony & Asa, sharing a few moments at the end of one of their many days together (how many days, years will that be??))ā¦I felt a profound loneliness. Not a new feeling or even surprisingāit had just never been so tangible.
My husband was 16 years older than me; we always knew we wouldnāt grow old together. I donāt expect there to be another love story at this stage of my life, but I do so miss the warm intimacy of a familiar partner. And now Iām thinking of Anna & Georgiaā¦
My personal head canon of AziraCrow was never romantic or physical love. In my mind, their connection is divine, ethereal, timeless, transcending anything in our experienceābut the best we could do is call it love.

















