on the complexities of 'nice'
The word has been floating around the interwebs a bit in past few weeks (in reference to self proclaimed ânice guysâ among other things), and it has come up a few times in conversation around me as well. Iâve always found the word to be condescending, though i do appreciate i may be the only one, and that people donât mean it that way most of the time. anyways, i approached this dilemma in the way that i approach most things, with research.
i found about 50 definitions from different usages of âniceâ over the past thousand years or so, and have gone through and removed the ones that donât really relate to people, to get a more relevant list. It need also be noted that many of the definitions with negative (and positive for that matter) connotations are no longer in use (marked by âObsâ), but like many old words, some of the feeling is inherited, even if the definitions do not.
So hereâs my hastily assembled list of definitions, bold for negative connotations, plain for neutralish, italicized for positive connotations:
As a Noun:
1.
   a. A foolish or simple person; a fool.
   b. Dissolute or wicked people as a class.
As an Adjective:
1.
   a. Of a person: foolish, silly, simple; ignorant. Obs
   b. Of an action, utterance, etc.: displaying foolishness or silliness; absurd, senseless. Obs.
(making it a read more here since there are another 15-20 definitions, and im probably the only person who finds these things interesting)
2.
   a. Of conduct, behaviour, etc.: characterized by or encouraging wantonness or lasciviousness. Obs.
   b. Of a person: wanton, dissolute, lascivious. Obs.
   c. Of dress: extravagant, showy, ostentatious. Also in extended use. Obs.
   d. Of a person: finely dressed, elegant. Obs.
3.
   a. Precise or particular in matters of reputation or conduct; scrupulous, punctilious. Now rare.
   b. Fastidious, fussy, difficult to please, esp. with regard to food or cleanliness; of refined or dainty tastes.
   c. Particular, strict, or careful with regard to a specific point or thing. Obs.
   d. Refined, cultured; associated with polite society.
   f. Respectable, virtuous, decent.
4.
   a. In early use: faint-hearted, timorous, cowardly, unmanly. Later also: effeminate. Obs.
   b. Slothful, lazy, sluggish. Obs.
   c. Not able to endure much; tender, delicate, fragile. Obs.
   d. Pampered, luxurious. Obs. rare.
6.
   a. Shy, coy, (affectedly) modest; reserved. Obs.
   b. Shy, reluctant, or unwilling in regard of or to. Also with in or infinitive. Obs.
14.
   c. Of a person: pleasant in manner, agreeable, good-natured; attractive.
   d. Used ironically.
   e. Kind or considerate in behaviour; friendly (towards others). Freq. in to be nice (to) .
If i were to write a conclusion, i donât know what it would say. i will continue to have difficulty taking it as a compliment, though other words, like âgenuineâ, or just having someone saying âthanksâ, will always make me feel good.
*almost all of the information is from the OED