Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document
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@eviltowerwizard
salutations minions. it is i, the evil wizard of the north tower. we speak not of the south, east or western towers. if the wizard of the southern tower EVER looks at me again it is ON SIGHT. you know what you did.
here to spread the good word of wizardry and dragon keeping.
not a blog dedicated to that one cursed book series whose author is a ginormous piece of shit. this evil wizard says trans rights are human rights.
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dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats
im only attracted to worthy opponents
Stop getting mad at me I raise undead when im in distress
Im unveiling a new unique condition of my own soon
Won't you help me improve my dragon crucible? I need just 50000 crowns of gold to start my dragon nuclear fire crucible.Earn passive income with dragon crucible
So to be clear. By “dragon crucible”, you mean “Crucible made by dragons” and not “crucible used to smelt dragons”.
Right.
If you wanted you could smelt lesser dragons in my dragon crucible. Lots of uses for my dragon crucible. Still seeking investors for dragon crucible
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HOT WIZARDS IN YOUR AREA!!
I think it's one of those normal non-corrupted amulets and I'm glowing green for unrelated reasons
"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.
Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment
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wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.
experiencing microaggressions apparently
"who said that" is a powerful spell that casts a defensive bubble around your most vulnerable thoughts
'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things
'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.
'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.
'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.
'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.
'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.
'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.
'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet
'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.
'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.
'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague
'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.
'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?
may I suggest: 'grunt' – time-tested by crime bosses with a variety of goals and organizational mandates. implies a subservient position with none of the innate baggage of lackey et al.
GRUNT IS PRETTY GOOD
in retaliation for considering murdering my homunculus, it threw me in the dragon hoard and wreaked havoc upon my tower. after what feels like many moons, the homunculus is now in a cage while i fix my beautiful tower.
dragon is doing well, though. <):^)
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“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”
No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.
Look, if the new magic didn't have a personality construct that kept trying to tell me which spells to use, maybe I wouldn't still be using the old magic.
Yes it had a deep blood cost, but at least it was a one time sacrifice and not this monthly bloodletting nonsense new age magic has
The old magic is robust enough to survive a decade of use and it's compatible with every wand, staff, scroll, and charm in our collection.
The new magic stops working after three days and every spell uses proprietary runes.
Our preferences, as an archiving institution, should be pretty clear.
You try to get guidance for the new magic and the king's sorcerers maybe will answer you in a few days with an unhelpful suggestion to buy the newest orb.
You need guidance for the old magic and a dozen retired middle-aged wizards will pop up to explain it to you rune by rune if necessary.
my homunculus is once again reconstituted but i believe he’s unhappy about it as he just screams a lot at random intervals. almost considering killing him and making a new one
