Gothmoth

they know what you did

Listen.

Hashirama attracted two of the strongest people of his era, he had game

Obito failed so hard he couldn't kiss a photo with two of his crushes and the only chance he got with one of them was after they both died

Might Guy can work gay miracles. He made Madara, a known Hashiramasexual, hard for a hot second and became Kakashi’s husband through a positive attitude and spandex

Madara had to lose his brother and will to live to move in proximity of his crush, and that’s just the start. He spent like 80 years or something in a cave with a lifeless wooden copy of Hashirama, was thirsting for him even after death, and when he got resurrected the only move he managed to pull on him was to steal his senjutsu How can you fumble so badly with the guy who already was into you?!

Naruto ended up with a girl but not the girl he wanted and both his crushes ended up marrying each other which is not a win but I can’t really call it a complete fail either

After Sasuke left Orochimaru, having him find another team of powerful losers to hang out with

Making the Sannin super Great and Powerful and Legendary but also like an awful gambling addict, a porn writer, and a creepy mad scientist who later becomes a Boruto era milf

Ino-Shika-Cho and showing their dads do the same types of combos together

Making Kakashi a cool, capable jonin who’s also a pathetic loser who can’t keep his children in check and reads erotica in public

Itachi loving sweets and Sasuke hating them

Every goddamn thing about Killer Bee

Flashback to the Sage and the baby little tailed beasts

The Naruto-Kurama friendship and Kurama calling him a brat (endearing)

Kisame shark boy character design (and also the super unique character designs for all the different Akatsuki members)

Nagato-Yahiko-Konan froggy costumes and Naruto’s froggy wallet

Reverse harem jutsu on Kaguya

Kakashi sweet talking Yamato to get him to take over his responsibilities

That’s all for now feel free to add others