to see the sun rising

x

x

x

What was I then?

{she looks down} You were one of my closest friends. 

Well, you got that wrong.

Yeah, well... I didn't know what to do with friends. I hadn't had any for so long. 

[sniffs] Not even a goodbye.

{she sniffs} I didn't think anyone would miss me. No one usually does. 

Brilliant. Just brilliant. So what, are you going to start planning my wedding? -laughs-

{grins} Straight after Alby's.

You were scared… so of course, you wanted to leave.

{she wipes at her eyes} I used to think all I wanted was to be normal. I realised recently all I've ever wanted was to be safe. And everywhere I've felt safe has made me more scared than the last place. And since I was able to leave... why not? 

x

+

Didge. I was insane. I needed someone to keep me sane. Nobody was there for me. Nobody.

{she sniffs} And how the bloody hell could I look after you--or anyone, for that matter--if I wasn't even okay? You think I wanted to leave? 

+

[crosses her arms; stops tearing up] No.

{she talks very quietly} I barely slept during the nights during my last few months. And I slept all day. It was because I was afraid. And sometimes I could just... {she shakes her head} No. I don't want to talk about it.