Hello Fellow Human

Having the hiccups is how it feels to be poisoned in a video game

One of my favorite things about Jane Austen is that she knew the real fear wasn’t running into some terrifying Frenchman or finding your lover’s wife in the attic…it was having to spend time with someone who is slighter cooler than you are, or playing piano in front of a critical audience, or thinking a picnic will be the perfect time for your jokes but then it isn’t

i don’t lose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about it like a sleeper agent

“If We Knew What We Were Doing, It Would Not be Called Research, Would It?”

The best part is that each one has multiple contributing authors

Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.

McKenzie Scott is literally proof that these fuckers can donate HUGE sums of money to EVERYTHING and still live a comfortable life.... But nooO someone HAS to justify the pitifully small donations the richest men on earth make every year for their tax write-off

She should bankroll unionization efforts at Amazon; really piss in the old man’s cornflakes.

There’s nothing better/funnier than dogs who realise they can talk to us with just their eyes sometimes lol

the internet HAS been turned into a series of easily swallowable pills for quick consumption and standardization and I don't think it's 'boomery' to discuss how the internet no longer feels like a wild wild west and has been massively gentrified for quick access to anything you could ever want or need and that next hit of dopamine. there is a difference between 'social media bad' and 'our experiences online are increasingly manufactured by algorithms looking to make money from scraping metrics of data about who we are to either sell us stuff or sell who we are to people who will sell us stuff'

the thrill of getting an itunes gift card as a present in like 2007 was insurmountable like the power of being 12 and just poking about the itunes store purchasing my little songs no worries just vibes  

how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

ask them to pronounce “unionized”

The worst part of this is that I stared at it for a minute knowing without DOUBT that it was funny, and I just wasn’t getting the joke, and by the time it hit me, the shame outweighed the humour.

For Sale: Baby Shoes. Heavy wear, almost as if the baby had been hiking.

I was trying to explain to my sister-in-law that I simply cannot turn on my car headlights if anyone is looking at me and she thought I was crazy.

Literally nothing more embarrassing than tying your shoes in public like oh look at me I'm a 5 year old because I couldn't tie my shoes tight enough to last a walk through the kroger

are y’all okay

wikihow chihuahuas

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

their ‘bussy’ you might say

why is it that someone gently saying "hey hey whoa" while another person is crying like the most intimate and comforting thing

horse intimacy