why do people refer to some of their kids as "furry children"? it makes no sense to separate them from your other kids just because they're a furry

the realisation that furry children means dogs hit me like a train at 4 in the morning

is that jesus 👀👀👀

oh don't you think about it mister

when i’m on my period my vagina is like the 2000 general election…all that Bush and Gore

bites u but i have abandonment issues so i never let go and am now a permanent ornament to your person

male anglerfish in the abyss

Honestly this app spilled. tell me the past 4 years haven’t felt like this

Oh thank the gods the Almond Milk year is upon us

Happy Almond Milk Year!

Happy almond milk year!!

Biblically accurate fire hydrant

Pretty sure I’ve said “come out you bitch I’ll maul you” word for word

Quoth the lady, “Cuck.”

“I’ll nab your cuckold” … is she saying “I’ll steal that man of yours you’ve been cucking”?

and as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual

So beautiful a single father shows his son a cone

on the thirteenth day of christmas my true love was investigated for his many flagrant violations of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918