Gay n Stupid

People who watched ep9:

jud, who is so used to being used by violent men; jud, with the violent past and a history of needing to fight back. jud, who, in turn has grace for the guilty, grace for those he disagrees with, those he’s hurt by.

and when he’s with another man, he’s grown expectant of these things. he expects the other to get rough, he expects them to act with overpowering control and selfishness.

and he’s prepared for that with blanc. but the only times blanc is harsh is when he’s trying to help jud, not fight him. and throughout it all, blanc remains kind. jud expects roughness, but blanc meets him with warmth, with sincerity. he takes his time, he does anything and everything to make sure jud knows he’s loved. to make sure jud knows he’s safe with him.

One of the things that stayed with me the most, was reflecting on traditional gender roles in the Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude congregation and how it relates to religion in general.

Vera halts her life to raise a child she has no moral obligations towards. Simone is the church's biggest donor, keeping it operable basically by herself. Martha is the only employee handling administrative work in the church, keeping the treasure a secret her whole life. They are all endlessly devoted. They are all meant to be contrasts of Grace, the real "women of God," and in the end, it's thankless labor from all of them.

Vera's adopted brother is a selfish jackass who appreciates nothing about what she did for him. He saw her as just a free nanny to be "dumped" once his real father showed up.

Simone is being prayed on at her weakest and used as a cash cow, only to be told she can't be healed because she's a faithless woman.

And Martha only realises at the tail end of her life that her selfless devotion to a man and his teachings meant nothing to him. That he betrayed her the first chance he gets.

Wicks sees himself as blameless, has no standard for his own behavior. He's a disgusting, horrible man, who deserves none of their devotion.

When Vera and Martha realize that their whole life they trusted the story of the "harlot whore", only to experience the exact same treatment even after doing everything in their power not to be like her, that's the first time they can reflect on her, and when they finally realize:

And I don't mean it's not like the Evangelical church, I mean he's not interested in convincing anyone to be a believer or a church goer. When the woman at the construction company starts talking to him about her mother, he doesn't tell her that God is there for her. He tells her that he's there's for. She already knows she can go to church, maybe she is even a Christian and feels like she has her God's love. But Jud knows that what she needs is another human being, because she's talking to him.

And that's such a better way to welcome people to your church than telling them to go. He's letting her know that there's fulfillment and safety and love there beyond just the religious side, because he's there.