DEAR CARROT CREATIVE

In my rough and humble angst to be hired by creatives at Carrot Creative...

JOB SEARCH ABOLISHED; EMPLOYEE SEARCHES BEGIN

OCTOMOM REFORMS TO OCTONUN

ALL MOSQUITOES DIE EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS GOOD

BAD TATTOOS CONTAGIOUS; FDA CONSIDERS BAN FOR OUR HEALTH

GOOGLETHOUGHTS LAUNCHES LITERAL MIND READING APP

TWITTER INFECTS ACTUAL BIRDS WHO TWEET ALL DAY

NEO TALKS TECHNOLOGY WITH LENA DUNHAM. 

SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT: 

Now how interesting to juxtapose Kea'Neo with Lena Dunham.

My generation is on a strange cusp-- where we have lived both with and without computers. One day, perhaps 'pre-digital studies' will be located in the history department. In the meantime, we mourn the loss of creative innocence, once unrestrained from touchscreens and Facebook.

Will it become progressively difficult to 'be creative' when children are being exposed to provincial media at such an early age? 

And at that rate, will 'creativity' eventually become relegated to technological advancement? 

MUSIC MAKES THE PEOPLE COME TOGETHER. How can Madonna be wrong? 

!!! El Bombay 'Guincho'

Crow smoking cigarette. Gold boobies. Steel drums. Dance. 

!!!Kyary Pamyu Pamyu 'PonPonPon'

This is your brain on bath salts: cute transforms into horrifying.

!!!Trippple Nippples "LSD" 

When you drink too much orange juice. 

!!!Pogo "Alice" on Yooouuutuuube.com

How Wonderland should feel like. 

If the link doesn't work, go to yooouuutuuube.com, insert youtube link for Pogo Alice remix, select zoetrope, left to right, unselect flux mode

!!! Frank Zappa's "Baby Snakes" excerpt

Directed by Will Carsola

"ART IS EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING ELSE

Watch out for my star power. I will blow your brain synapses to smithereens. Your ears will leak platinum gold. Your eyes will tear up with the angst, that I am the only me there is.  Shh. Shh. Listen. And watch. This is what glory looks like. 

RARE ENDANGERED UNICARROTS SIGHTED

Unicarrots, the rare, magical, and ancient crossbreed of plant and animal were spotted by passengers on the S shuttle at Prospect Place/Park Place station.

"I looked outside and they flew by, neighing. Their carrot horns were real pretty in the sunlight", says Juana Dance, an S shuttle rider.

Unicarrots are the only known crossbreed of plant and animal. Historic manuscripts recording the creation of the unicarrot were supposedly burned by the church along with the witnesses.

Today, scientists are still theorizing about the merge of plant and animal DNA. They are still unsure about any long term effects or magical properties from drinking the delicious carrot juice aside from an orange glow to the drinker's skin tone.

Hunted by local juice bars, they are valued for the extra delicious properties of the carrot juice produced by their magical horns. Juice bars have recently been caught recruiting virgin vegans to poach unicarrots, as they are the only ones who are able to track unicarrots with uncanny accuracy.

"Look, that's just the way it is," says Jane Doe, a virgin vegan unicarrot poacher who would like to remain unidentified. "I've only been in this job for half a year and it paid for my LARPing camp retreat in Wyoming.  I'm young enough to stay a virgin and be okay with it. The vegan diet sort of sucks, but it's all part of the job... And why it pays well."

When asked about the irony of being a vegan and a poacher, Jane shrugs.

"It's a good job in this terrible economy."

Juice bar owner Terry Hair defends his business's success.

"I used to sell chicken omelettes on the street. Turns out, people think that's gross and unhealthy. My own friends called picketed me with signs saying 'multi-generational genocide'. When I started my juice bar, people started buying my stuff because it's healthy. No one says anything about genocide. Most people think they're just photoshopped hoaxes anyway. And it's up to the customers to save those animals. I'm just doing my job."

***TO BE READ IN A SENSITIVE THUGGISH TONE TO 2PAC'S 'DEAR MAMA' INSTRUMENTAL, FOUND HERE:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I76Ub1rcIOE *** You are pretty creative.

When I was young and playin' in the streets  Wanted to be a double agent or a police packin' heat Watched a lot of x files and terminator flicks Parents wanted me to become a doctor or a dentist Makin' money get cash bring home the dough they said dad waiting at work for his check  I wanted to become president julia roberts although I'm half as tall and asian yel-low Growin' up reading books all day Getting shiny windshield glasses in the third grade Last picked for teams in soccer during lunch Funnelball hitting my face with a crunch

Had time all day to dream and think, staring at the sky and clouds without a blink, Dreaming and drawing colors and sounds and secret friends,  Thinking what do I wanna doodle now (and what to do now) Through college I learned my Engrish,  Writing essays on the so smart philo-sophical French,  Majored in that and Communication,  And now I've moved all the way across the nation,

I wanna have fun dancing doing stuff I love, I has a good sense of humor and all-above,  Wanna work with people I know I can trust,  to be cool and dream big with creative lust, 

Money ain't as bling as making stuff,  You know you created and no one else;  Put yo passions in line make the best with your work,  That way no way those regrets will lurk

You are pretty creaaaative, Dontcha know that nothing is belated, Dreams can be reached if you make it, Happen for yourself-- chances, take it.