Collegiately

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

"I like your mother. You have your mother's breasts."

"Her breasts."

Wear jeans/pants that “breathe” and bring a sweater, even if it’s scorching hot out, until you know which building blasts the AC to 60 degrees F and which feels like a sauna

Backpacks with thick straps are your friend!  Messenger bags are cool and all but if you’re commuting with a lot of stuff, symmetrically styled backpacks are better for your back

You are your own person and you can walk out whenever you need to or want to, so long as you’re not disrupting the class.  Meaning you can go to the bathroom without permission, take a breather if you’re anxious, answer an important phone call, etc.

If you don’t like the class on the first day, if you can- DROP THAT CLASS AND TAKE ANOTHER ONE!  It’ll only get worse from there!

If you can, take a class outside your major; it’s a good break from your expected studies.

You are in charge of your schedule.  Your adviser and guidance counselor is there to ‘advise and guide’ but if you don’t like certain classes and you can substitute for others, that’s your choice.

Consequently, if you are changing anything drastic in your plan, talk with your adviser and instructors.

Pay attention to your credit hours and grades.  Never leave this to the last week of school, you will be sorry and stressed beyond belief!

Unless it’s a lab book or otherwise specified, go to the class for a week or so before buying an expensive textbook.  Some classes, while having it on their required list, do not actually use the textbook a whole lot and you might find some of it scanned online.  Rent if you can or buy used online (schools actually don’t give discounts).  Use your best judgement on what you think you need.

Tell the people who go up to you selling or advertising things you are not interested in that you are in a rush to class and don’t have time to listen to them.  It’s less rude and they’ll leave you alone.

The smaller the class, the better it is to have some sort of acquaintanceship with a couple classmates.  They might save your ass if you are absent one day or need to study.  And talking with them makes the time go by faster without it being so insufferable.

You don’t need to join a club or sport, but internships are cool and useful!

If you can afford it, take a day off once or twice each semester if you’re too exhausted.  Just be aware of what you missed and if it was worth missing!

Your health is the most important, this goes for mental health too!!  Note: College-age/upper teens is when mental disorders like depression and anxiety are most commonly diagnosed.  Most schools have therapy services, especially during exam time.  Look into it if you need to!

Communicate with your professor if you are having trouble with something.  Anything.

Eat and stay hydrated.  Bring a water bottle and snack to class.

All-nighters will happen but never go over 36 hours without sleep.

ADDITIONAL ADVICE

Don’t let a mental health day turn into a mental health week because you will be so screwed.

Pay attention to the syllabus and do not lose it. A lot of professors put all of the assignment due dates in there and ONLY in there.

If your school has blackboard or moodle etc. CHECK IT. a lot of professors will only post certain info there and not talk about it in class

READINGS ARE NOT OPTIONAL.

I REPEAT. READINGS. ARE. NOT. OPTIONAL.

Put them in your schedule, read BEFORE class. And summarise it. For bonus points, come up with some questions about the text and go introduce yourself to your professor either after class or during office hours, and ask them about it. This will make them much more likely to remember you in a positive light (and possibly bump your grade up if you hit a hard patch.)

Your library will have a copy of your textbook. If you cannot afford to rent it, you can go to the library and borrow it from the front desk for a few hours whenever you need it. It is there for you, okay? 

Our university’s campus bookstore required the professors to “require” the most current edition of the textbook, which was mostly a scam!

DM: “Nice. Okay, human—“

Human: “I eat the poison.”

DM: “What? Uh. Sure. You eat the poison. You eat it right up. Num num num. Constitution saving throw.”

Human: “16.”

DM: “Shit, okay, the poison poisons you, but only a little. You love it.”

Plant: “I want to make a DIFFERENT kind of poison. Or maybe I should just make the first poison more int—”

Human: “I EAT THE POISON.”

Plant: “You can’t eat this poison!”

Human: “I WILL EAT ALL THE POISONS AND I WILL LIKE IT.”

DM: “Some. Some of the—”

DM: “What?”

Plant: “Wait, isn’t that good for me?”

Human: “Do that again.”

Plant: “What?”

Human: “Do that again. Harder.”

Plant: “Y...you mean—”

Human: “I̷̯̩̦̫̹͖̠̓̿̎̄̽̓ ̵̱̫̬̝̹̋̐̿͘c̵̢̖̺͎͔̳̄̄̌͋̈́̕a̶̛̦͗͋͆͘͝ň̸̡̊̕͜ ̵̫̪͉̰͈̾͊̒s̷͎̲̦͚͑͒̃̽̈́͘͝ę̷̲̥͉̿̓e̵̻͕͊̆̃ ̵̲̻̰̤̻̣̏t̴̝̭͇̂͂i̸̡͈͉̱̩̬̊ṁ̶̢̜͉̳͕̐͛̔͝ę̸͍̪̰̜̞̍̀.̸̞̀͌ͅ.̷̧̛͇̲̰͎̓̈́͐̓͝.̵̛̜̭̲̞̲͉͉̉̈͝͠”

Plant: “Hello??? Hello??? What is happening?”

Human: “Oh, you and I are going to have a long and beautiful relationship. I will plant you and cherish you and raise your children with love and care for a thousand generations and protect you from insects and beasts forever and ever and ever.”

Plant: “...I’m listening. I see now how this arrangement could be beneficial. What do I need to do?”

Could end up roommates.

Don’t take 8ams! Don’t even take 9ams if you can help it. Always start your class going day at 10am or later. You can get up at 8am to eat breakfast and study/work on classwork if you like BUT DON’T SCHEDULE “I HAVE TO BE SOMEWHERE AND FUNCTIONAL” EARLY.

If you are going to be full-time, also don’t schedule night classes. Classes that start after 6pm are not fun either and leaving class to pitch black darkness will mess with you in a very different way.

As soon as you can, don’t take classes on Fridays. It boosts your morale to only have required classes 4 days a week, trust me. If Monday is easier to do this with then that works too.

If you work during the school year, don’t schedule more than a 4 hour shift on the same day you have class unless you want to be dead inside.