sorry for swearing canada

y/n:) : i don’t wana be here anmyore birds

y/n:) : matty saidhe was gnna be here but i cantfind him and hes not answring

y/n:) : bird

y/n:) : bird

y/n:) : fucl bords

bords: y/n, what’s wrong? what’s going on

y/n:) : dpmtwanna behere

bords: where are you?

y/n:) : pike?tke?idunno

y/n:) : gonnawalk bak

bords: no the fuck you aren’t. stay put, share your location with me, and i’ll be there in five minutes.

somehow, in the span of the world spinning and your eyes fluttering closed, you manage to click the “share location” button on your conversation thread with thomas. your stumbling figure makes its way out of the bathroom where you had hidden yourself for the past ten minutes after nearly everything had gone to shit.

your friends and you had always established a “never leave anyone alone” pact early on in your friendships when you started to go out. but, taylor had finally caught the eye of the boy she had been pinning after for weeks, hannah had been dragged by her boyfriend to play a game of pong two hours ago and you had yet to see her since, and maggie had been pulled away by another group of people, leaving you to fend all by yourself.

normally, you’d find someone you knew - being friends with a decent portion of the hockey team had given you a sense of popularity you didn’t think was possible. you had met dozens of people from your nights out and even around campus in general. you normally would also find some of the hockey boys and attach to their group for the time being - more specifically thomas - but, having played a game only a couple hours prior, most of the boys had opted to tune in for the night instead of going out.

matty might be lingering around somewhere in the frat house, but he was nowhere to be seen.

and besides, he wasn’t thomas.

to say the relationship between you and thomas wasn’t complicated would be a lie. it was the most complicated situation one could find themselves in - you felt like it was clear how you felt about him, but he had never acted on any potential feelings that might be there. granted, you also didn’t act on any feelings, but you didn’t want to get turned down and embarrassed from a boy that could get any girl that he wanted.

you stumble down the hallway, passing by dozens of people that you may or may not know, that may or may not be trying to talk to you. the tears start to blur your eyes, and before you know it you’re sitting on the steps of the front porch of the house waiting for thomas to arrive. your head subconsciously leans against the pillar to your left, and you find yourself checking your phone every two seconds to see if thomas had texted you back.

“what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here alone?” you hear a voice, and before you can turn your head to look at who the voice belonged to, your own voice acts before your mind.

“matty?” you ask, turning to look at the stranger, who in fact, was not matthew. “you’re not matty.” 

the blonde boy chuckles, “matty? who are you looking for, gorgeous? i’ll help you find them. i know people.”

“matty beniers, hockey team matty. he-he’s supposed to be here, and, and i can’t find him.” you gaze up at the boy, a pathetic look on your face, almost accepting defeat. “but, thomas will be here soon and thomas is gonna take me home.”

the boy purses his lips, a glint in his eye. “matty beniers? matty b? pretty sure i saw him upstairs in the house, here, cmon.” he reaches his free hand that wasn’t holding a beer out for you to take. 

you’re hesitant. you pause for a second, before you reach your hand out and place it in his. the boy smirks, closing his hand around yours and pulling you up from your spot on the step. you stumble into him as he leads you towards the front of the house, your entire body feeling heavy and defeated.

“y/n. y/n!”

your heart flutters at the familiar voice, and you halt your steps to turn around. sure enough, in all his glory thomas is making his way up the stone path to the house. “thomas.” your strained voice manages to cause a tear in his heart. 

“where do you think you’re going? let’s go, y/n. ‘m taking you back home.” he comes up the few steps until he’s standing right next to you, and he reaches his hand out for you. but not before shooting daggers at the boy on the other side of you. “sorry, and you are?”

“tyler, a friend of y/n’s, gonna take her to see another one of her friends. come on.” tyler pulls on your hand to try and lure you back into the house. 

you send thomas a pleading look, your heart starting to pound in your chest, now realizing the situation you had gotten yourself into.

“that’s funny, i know all of y/n’s friends and there’s not a single tyler in there. nice try, buddy. she’s coming with me whether you like it or not. next time, don’t take advantage of a drunk girl.” thomas manages to pull your other hand away from the boy, and instantly, he’s pulling you in the direction of his parked car. “god, what were you thinking, y/n? going off with a guy you don’t even know? do you know how bad that could’ve ended if i didn’t show up just now?”

despite his ranting, he still opens up the passenger seat of his car for you to slip in. you sit there quietly until he walks to his side of the car. he’s flustered and frustrated, and when he’s sitting, his tattooed arm reaches into the backseat. “here, this is for you, to cover up.” he mumbles, handing you the cloth.

“thank you,” you mutter, slipping your arms into the fabric and pulling it over your head, no longer caring about how it’ll mess up your hair if you arent careful enough. thomas is silent, not even putting the radio on for the short ride back. it isn’t until you finally start paying attention to where he’s driving that you realize he isn’t driving in the direction of your house. “bords, my house is that way.” you point, hand flailing to the right. “wrong way.”

he shakes his head. “no, you’re coming to our place tonight. i don’t want you alone when you’re like this.” 

“alright.” your voice is small, and you sink back into your seat, silent for the remainder of the drive. your arms are crossed over your chest in an attempt to make yourself as small as you possibly can.

when you finally arrive to the unofficial hockey house the boys were renting, thomas walks around to the passenger’s side. he holds his arm out for you to take, and you gladly do, wrapping both of your arms around his one and holding it to your chest.

“are you alright?” thomas mumbles, and you just nod your head against his arm to confirm. “i’ve got you. you’re alright.”

he helps you up the few steps and he pushes open the front door. “back so soon, bords?” you let out a gasp, letting go of thomas’ arm and letting out a happy giggle.

“matty!” you exclaim, grinning at the brunette boy whos sat on the couch alongside owen, kj, and brendan. “hi guys. matty, i was looking for you!”

matt forces a frown, “sorry, y/n/n, i ended up not going out and my phone’s upstairs charging. i would’ve told you, but we’re engrossed in stepbrothers.”

your eyebrows furrow, and your arms cross over your chest. “no, you were at pike - tke, i dunno where i was, but a boy was gonna bring me to you. you were there.”

brendan looks between you, thomas, and matthew. “oh, she is fucked.” he says, eyes on thomas, who’s visibly stressed with his hand running down his face.

“yeah, i’m aware.” thomas mumbles. “y/n, come on. i’m taking you upstairs, you gotta get some rest. you gotta sleep this off, or you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning.”

“goodnight, boys. sorry bordy is being a party pooper.” you pout, starting the trek up the stairs towards thomas’ bedroom. thom places his hand firmly on your waist to keep you upright, helping you up the entirety of the stairs. “‘m sorry, thomas. i didn’t realize you guys were watching a movie. i didn’t know it was boys night, ‘m sorry.”

thomas lets out a breath, opening the door to his room and letting you walk through the entrance. he follows shortly behind you, “y/n, don’t worry about it. again, i’m glad i was there.” he turns to his closet. “sit on my bed, i’ll grab you sweatpants to change into, so you can get out of those.” he gestures towards your faux-leather clad legs that you cross under your body when you sit down on his made bed. 

you’re silent for a few beats, and thomas tosses a pair of sweatpants in your direction. “you change. i’m gonna go grab you gatorade, water and advil. i’ll be right back up.”

he doesn’t wait for your response before he heads out of the room and back down the steps, just to be greeted with the boys you had just been speaking to.

“what the hell happened to her tonight?” owen asks, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie. “like, seriously, bords. she’s not alright. y/n doesn’t just leave with random guys she doesn’t know.”

thomas drags his hand down his face, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a few waters. “i’ve got zero clue. she thought matty was at the party, some guy must’ve found her outside and she told him she was looking for him. needless to say, if i hadn’t gotten there at this time, it probably wasn’t gonna end well.”

“we can take shifts, if you want. i know she can get to be a lot to handle when she’s drunk,” matty speaks up, and quickly thomas shakes his head. 

“nah, i got this. i’ve got her in my bed, she’ll pass out in no time if she won’t be asleep by the time i get back up there. she’s just rambly right now.” he shoves the bottle of advil into his joggers pocket, three waters in one hand and two gatorades in another. “wish me luck, boys.” 

thomas disappears back up the steps and into his room again, where now you’re full changed into thomas’ clothes and half under his comforter, waiting for his arrival. you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone after texting your friends where you had ended up, and when thomas walks in your head snaps up. “hi.”

“hey,” thomas responds, setting the gatorades down on his nightstand and two of the waters. he cracks open the third and hands it to you, then opens the bottle of pain killers and hands two to you as well. “take that. chug that.”

“thank you.” you say quietly, taking the medicine and starting to drink the water. his gaze is on you, on your suddenly innocent frame sitting up in his bed. you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before looking up and meeting his gaze. “bords? will you help me put my hair up, please?” 

he clears his throat. “yeah, yeah of course. do you have a hair tie?” 

you hold out your arm to allow thomas to pull off your hair tie, which he does. you hunch over, leaning your head over to allow the boy to gather your hair. he gently does, fingers raking through your hair a few times, more in an attempt to soothe you rather than to help put your hair up, but eventually he does gather all of your hair and puts it into a loose messy bun.

“thank you, thomas. i really appreciate you.” you whisper, lifting your head to look at the boy. he moves to sit on the edge of the bed right by your legs. “like, a lot. i dunno what i would do without you.”

thomas lets a small smile grace his face. “i care about you, y/n. i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. you’re like, my best friend.”

“that’s why i like you.”

the words fly out of your mouth before your intoxicated mind can try and reel you back in, and your confession has thomas’ eyes widening. “what did you just say?”

“that i, that i," your words suddenly get caught in your throat, and the tears that had subsided earlier are finding their way back into your eyes. "you don't like me back."

"y/n, i, i never said that. fuck, you need to go to sleep, please. the sooner you go to sleep the sooner you'll wake up feeling better, alright?" his concerned gaze meets yours and you find yourself nodding.

you situate yourself under the comforter, thomas' scent surrounding you, and thomas helps to tuck you in. "goodnight, thomas," you murmur, turning so you're facing the wall instead of in his direction. thomas frowns.

"goodnight, y/n. i'll be downstairs for a little, text or call me if you need me and i'll be right up."

when you don't answer, thomas peeks around, and sure enough you're already fast asleep. he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and he's dipping out of his room and back down into the living room where all of his friends were waiting for him.

"you haven't had to clean up puke, right? cause, you look like you're gonna throw up." kj asks, moving over on the couch so thomas can sit down with the group.

"you look like you just saw a ghost."

"y/n just told me she likes me." thomas confesses, leaning his elbow on the arm of the couch, gaze locked on the once again paused tv screen.

brendan chuckles from the loveseat, setting his phone down beside him. "damn, it's about time. we've been talking about this forever. she's been hooked on you since the moment you two met, it's painfully obvious."

"and painfully obvious that you're into her too." matty interjects. the statement makes thomas purse his lips. "are you gonna argue with me, bords?"

thomas sighs. there was no getting out of this situation, and if he were to go upstairs he would just be on the floor. so, this was the better option. "nah. i do like her, a lot. she's just one of my best friends, i don't wanna ruin that. what if things aren't the same if we start dating? what if we break up? then what? it's not worth it to lose her entirely."

"you're already thinking about the potential of a breakup? bords, come on. not once have you been this into a girl before. something tells me it wouldn't be a short lived thing." brendan tries to reason with his best friend. "the second she was texting you, you were already grabbing your keys. you both take care of each other, she takes care of you, whether that's drinking, or after a game, a bad day, she takes care of you. you make sure she's okay, all the time. you make sure she's eating, you see her every day, she sleeps over. you care about her more than you mean to let on, thomas. you're head over heels for this girl, just admit it."

the next morning, you awake with a small groan escaping your lips. you roll over, pulling the comforter away from your head. you squint your eyes, the sun coming in through the curtains a bit too bright for your hungover state.

there's a folded blanket sitting on thomas' desk chair and a pillow, and you make a mental note to scold him for sleeping on the floor. he didn't have to let you sleep in his bed, yet he did. you swing your legs over the side of the bed, prepping yourself to stand up.

and that's when the wave of nausea hits.

"fuck." you mumble, stumbling to your feet and making your way towards the bathroom in the hallway. luckily, you go unseen by any of the hockey boys. as soon as you can, your shutting the door and sitting in front of the toilet.

"bordy," brendan sings from the living room to thomas, who was busy making breakfast for the bunch. "your sleeping beauty is awake. might wanna go check on her, sounded like she went into the bathroom."

thomas' attention is completely diverted from his original task. "yeah, will you take this over for me then?"

brendan immediately gets up and grabs the spatula from thomas' hand, while thomas starts up the stairs towards the bathroom. he knocks lightly before stepping in, and immediately he internally cringes at the sight of your head hanging over the toilet bowl, emptying any contents in your stomach from the night before.

"it's just me," thomas mumbles, settling down behind you and gathering the hair that had fallen out of your bun from sleeping. he mimics his motions from last night, fingers running through your hair while simultaneously keeping it out of your face. when you stop throwing up, you lean your arm across the bowl and rest your head on it.

"you don't have to stay in here, thomas," you mumble. "i'm fine."

he doesn't stop running his fingers through your hair. "i'm staying right here, y/n/n. how many times did you puke?"

"just twice."

there's a silence between the two of you for a brief moment, and thomas argues with himself in his head. until finally, he bites the bullet. "you told me you liked me last night." his voice is quiet.

not that your body was moving anyway, but your body freezes at his words. you swallow hard. "i'm gonna be sick again." and again, you find yourself throwing up to the point you're just dry heaving.

"y/n," thomas soothes, "you're okay, i promise you. here. cmere." he gently pulls you back, so your back is pressed to his chest. "you're okay."

"but i-" you cut yourself off, letting your head fall back against his shoulders, and you let your eyes shut. "can we just forget last night happened, please?"

“I can’t do that. He’s here with Reese,” she tells you, referencing her coworker.

“Mace, what am I supposed to do with him here?”

She shrugs, walking through her apartment with her drink in her hand, shoving one into your hand in an attempt to relax you. “Ignore him like you do whenever we’ve been out and he’s been there.”

You follow her around, trying to keep an eye out for him while also trying to not run into anyone. “I didn’t know he was there. This time I know he’s here. This time I guarantee that if I am not shielded or if I stay here, he’s going to say something dumb and I’m going to end up needing to be bailed out of jail,” you panic.

“I’ve got money in my bank account.”

“Maci!”

“Ok, I’ll talk to Reese and explain the situation, I’ll make sure that Cameron doesn't go anywhere near you. And if she does, Reese is a good person, she can make sure he stays quiet and civil,” she tries to bargain with you.

You nod, Maci leaving your side to do what she said while you tried to find anyone you could talk to. You found one of Maci’s coworkers that you knew, falling into a conversation with you long enough to distract you from what was going on around you.

“Yeah, you should meet my friend Jamie,” Alec drops into the conversation, “I think you’d like him.”

“Uh, sure,” you start, about to tell him to let you know when you could when you heard that voice coming from behind you.

“Long time no see,” that voice that made your skin crawl sounded, you turning around to see Cameron leaning against the wall, his arm up above his head with a beer in his other hand, a shit eating grin on his face. “I’ve missed you.”

“That’s nice,” you say to him, turning around and walking away from him.

“So I’ve heard you know my new girlfriend?” he says, that taunting tone in his voice that made you want to turn around and punch him right there.

“She’s nice. I have no idea why she’s with someone like you,” you counter, trying to look for Maci to save you instead of talking to Cameron any longer.

“I mean, she’s probably nicer than any one you’ve been with.”

“Considering I’ve been with you before, I would say you’re right.”

“Nice come back from someone who could barely finish anything she starts.”

“You know, clowns can make up to eighty three thousand dollars a year, why are you here doing it for free?”

“Are you even here with anyone, anyway?”

You wanted to tell him yes so badly, but then you knew you would have to leave right away. If only he weren’t here so that there would be one less thing you would have to worry about while trying to just get drunk right before you had to go back to work that Monday.

Before you could answer, you felt a gentle hand on the small of your back, feeling someone with a beard place a kiss on your cheek. “You look like you need a stand-in boyfriend,” the mystery man whispers. “I’ll go if you want to.”

“No, we don’t have to go yet, I was just catching up with Cameron,” you say, slightly concerned by the random man that was now by your side, but very thankful that now you didn’t have to check in with Maci about how much money was actually in her bank account.

“Ah, the famous Cameron,” he said, gently pulling you away from him. “I’m Jamie.”

Cameron bites the inside of his cheek. “Impressive,” he lets out before turning away, finally leaving you alone.

“You must be the Jamie that Alec said I should meet,” you say to him once Cameron is out of earshot. “And I’m glad I did meet you, thank you for that.”

“Maci said you looked like you were going to end up in jail, and I didn’t feel like being a witness,” he said, both of you laughing after.

You look around for your friend, finding her standing with who you could assume was Reese, since Cameron was standing there with his arm around her. “You might have to keep pretending to be my boyfriend if you want that, then,” you tell him, visibly cringing it. “I’m sorry.”

Jamie knew he was going to Seattle, and he’d be lying if he said the proposition didn’t excite him, but once his name was inked on that paper, reality came crashing in. He had to up and move his daughter, she was only three, maybe it wouldn’t be that hard. But who was he kidding, everything is hard with a three year old. And how would he explain that they wouldn’t be able to visit mommy every weekend, just like they did every weekend since. That’s all that plagued his mind as he drove home from the airport, Ivy was waiting for him, but he knew she’d succumb to her sleepiness before he could get there. His parents already texting him with a picture of her half asleep on the couch.

Then, the cars on the other side of the road slammed on their brakes, the sound of tires spinning out made everything come rushing back.

“Is this the father of Ivy Oleksiak?” Jamie didn’t even have a chance to speak before the words came across the phone, “yes, who’s speaking?” Jamie replied, heart rate picking up at the soft sigh the woman let out. “Your daughter and Miss Cora Hadley were brought into Medical City from a car accident scene.” All she said were those words before he was rushing to his feet, “are they ok?” He asked quickly, never getting a pair of shoes on so quickly in his life. “Sir, I’m not–“ “Bullshit! Is my baby and my fiancé ok?” He snapped, based on the way she whimpered, a rather young woman on the other end of the line. “Your daughter will be fine, just some scratches, the car seat did it’s job.” She spoke slowly, her breath hitching. “I think it’s best you get here as quickly as possible.” She spoke carefully, and in that moment Jamie’s heart fell to his feet like an anchor, he could feel his stomach twisting and his eyes burning. He knew what those words meant. Then he thought of Ivy and that snapped him out of his daze, he had to get there, now.

Jamie pulled into his driveway safely this night, parking beside his parents car, a sigh escaping his lips, forcing the terrible memories from two and a half years ago away. He gathered his bags, and lugged them inside, smiling at his family all asleep in the living room. That made him forget that oh so familiar ache in his chest just a little bit more. He put his bags in the corner, those could wait, but right now all he needed was to hold his baby girl. He scooped Ivy up, smiling as she fluttered her eyes open just enough to see him. “Daddy.” She murmured, “hi bug.” He inhaled the scent of her toddler shampoo, his mom always taking care of her hair the best, brushing the detangler through the unruly hair she got from her father. “Sleep with you.” Ivy whined when he started heading for her room, normally he didn’t give in, not wanting her to be dependent on him to sleep, but he needed her tonight too. “Just tonight princess.” He gave in, bringing her to his room with him, where she fell asleep instantly when he placed her on the plush bed.

Jamie laid awake, staring at the ceiling for a little while, thinking of how he would tell Ivy about having to move. “I hope you’re proud of me.” He whispered out, his tears staying pooled in his eyes as he forced himself to calm down. “Sleep daddy.” Ivy complained, nuzzling closer to him. “Hold me.”

“Jamie.” Cora whispered, hoping he was awake despite the late hour, he grunted in response, being a light sleeper ever since he found out Cora was pregnant. “Hold me.” She demanded with a light tone, her back aching and stomach bulging as Ivy kicked around in there. Jamie blindly opened his arms for her, letting her settle into his chest. “Always.” He murmured, already half asleep as she sighed in content.

“Come here baby girl.” Jamie murmured at Ivy, letting her rest her head upon his chest, Ivy was a very cuddly little girl, the second she was comfortable with you, she’d be sitting in your lap and telling you stories and anything to be touching you. It was one of Jamie’s favorite things, especially when he came home from a roadie and all she wanted was to be held by him.

***

“Daddy!” Ivy called, she managed to climb onto the bathroom counter to brush her teeth but now she was too scared to get down, “daddy!” She shrieked again, Jamie’s eyes fluttered open as he quickly took in his surroundings, “daddy, I stuck!” Ivy called, this time sounding annoyed by his lack of response. He threw the blanket off as he knew where she was stuck, this was a common occurrence. He appeared in the bathroom doorway, arms crossed over his chest, “and just what do you think you’re doing?” Jamie asked his daughter as she made grabby hands for him, she grinned brightly at him, “I brushed my teeth!” She answered in a duh tone, she grabbed his face once he scooped her up, kissing the tip of his nose, and he the same to her, “I’m very happy you brushed your teeth, Ivy, but you know you’re not supposed to get on the counter, that’s why we got you a stool, remember?” He explained, for easily the tenth time in the past month. “I know.” She huffed, dramatically pushing her hair back, making Jamie chuckle as he walked down the stairs, hearing his parents talking in the kitchen.

“Well, good morning sleepy heads.” Alison teased as Ivy gasped at the sight of pancakes on the counter, Jamie shook his head with a smile, placing her on the seat beside his dad, “I’ll make you a special plate.” Richard quipped to the little girl, which really just meant drawing a smiley face on it with whip cream. “Thanks mom.” Jamie gave his mom a kiss on the cheek before shuffling around to get his coffee, desperately needing the sleep kicked out of his system. “When are you going to tell her?” Alison asked, taking a small bite of her food, giving her son the side eye when he hesitated. “Today.” He gave in, knowing he absolutely had to start packing now, otherwise it would never be done in time. “So, Ivy, do you have any plans for today?” Alison shifted her attention to her granddaughter, figuring they could take her out to do something so he could get more done. “Gonna go see momma!” She cheered, some syrup smeared around her mouth.

Jamie froze, it was Saturday already, he checked his phone and felt humiliated that he had forgotten his promise to take Ivy to the cemetery. Evidently the panic was written across his face when both his parents stared at him. “Why don’t grandma and I bring you? We haven’t been there in a while.” Richard offered, rubbing Ivy’s back when she looked to Jamie for permission. “I think that would be nice, right baby?” Jamie finally found his voice, and Ivy nodded brightly, anytime she got with her grandparents was cherished. “Daddy coming to?” She asked, tilting her head as he sipped on his coffee, “I’ve got some work to do, alright, I’ll go next time.” He assured her, shooting his dad a thankful look as he quickly changed the subject before she could pester on any further.

“Ivy, I need to talk to you.” Jamie announced, he couldn’t wait any longer, he had to do it and be done. Alison nearly choked on her coffee and Richard looked at his empty plate like it was suddenly the most interesting thing. Ivy nodded, munching away on her pancakes, not understanding the severity of what was about to be said.

Jamie cleared his throat and pulled out the chair beside her, “you know how I had to go away to this new place for work, yeah?” He reminded her, “Seattle.” He said, and she nodded, “Seattle.” She repeated, not entirely perfect but good enough. “I got a job over there.” He spoke, waiting to see what she thought. “Hockey?” She asked, confusion lacing her tone. “Yes, still hockey.” Jamie chuckled softly, “it’s with a new team.” He paused, glancing away for a second, “we have to move there.” He concluded. Ivy nodded slowly, “new house?” She asked, she might be young, but she knew that moving meant not in this house. “Yeah, new house, new city, new people.” Jamie explained, panicking when she went wide eyed, “what about uncle Ro-Ro?” Ivy asked, referring to Miro, she was closest to the young defenseman as she always saw him beside her dad on the ice. The nickname had been dubbed upon him when she was learning to speak and liked to repeat things. “We can visit, baby.” Jamie spoke softly, heart breaking as she began to sniffle. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head, he knew the realization was coming. “But Momma!” She sobbed.

And that completely shattered his heart.

“I know.” He picked her up, feeling her sob into his neck, “momma.” She whimpered, though she didn’t remember her, Jamie made sure to keep her an important part of her life. Ivy didn’t know that she loved going to a gravestone that much until this moment. “Hey, look at me, bug.” Jamie demanded gently, situating her to be in front of him. He sat her on the countertop and stood in front of her, “momma will always be with us, right? Isn’t that what I always say?” He explained to her. Ivy nodded slowly, she was so young but always acting older, trying to wrap her head around this. “Yeah.” She mumbled sheepishly, cheeks red and eyes puffy, she felt shy under the gaze of her grandparents. “It’s alright, daddy’s sad too.” He assured her, lowering his head to be eye level with her. She stared into his eyes, reminding him so much of Cora in that moment, and once again she kissed the tip of his nose. “No sad daddy.” She demanded, drumming her fingers on his cheek. He pecked her forehead, “alright baby.” He agreed, if she could do it, so could he, right?

***

Ivy slept the whole plane ride, which is what Jamie was hoping for as they would be meeting the moving truck at the new house, plenty of things to be done asap.

“Come on Ivy.” Jamie mumbled, carrying her off the plane as she groggily woke up, looking around slightly confused until she remembered what was going on today. “Daddy, Seattle?” She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder, he chuckled, lowering her so she wasn’t so high up on his chest. “Yeah, Seattle baby.” He assured her, her pigtails bouncing as she looked around rapidly. He smiled at her reaction to the airport alone.

“What do you think, Ivy?” Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows as the three year old spun to face him. “Love it!” She squealed, her room was twice as big in this place than her bedroom in Dallas, and Jamie told her she could pick whatever color (within reason) to have her walls painted. Of course she would love it here. Jamie looked around their new-but-empty-house one more time, sighing as he could picture Ivy growing older in this house.

Time to make it a home.

“Hi.” Ivy grinned up at one of the movers as he placed a stack of boxes in her room, Jamie just being outside the door heard her speaking, he raised an eyebrow waiting to hear the guy speak. “Hello.” The young guy spoke sweetly, chuckling at the little girl. “I’m three.” She spoke, “how old are you?” She asked, Jamie held in a snicker as he walked in. “Ivy, leave him alone, bug.” He laughed softly, the guy taking it as his excuse to go get more boxes. “Ugh.” She huffed, flopping down on her bed dramatically, Jamie rolled his eyes, looking around. “What color do you want?” He asked the opinionated little girl, he sat beside her, smiling as she stood next to him, being eye level with him. “Hmm, purple!” She gasped, looking around the currently beige room, Jamie nodded slowly, “light purple.” He countered, knowing she would want to choose the darkest shade. “Fine.” She giggled, “we can go tomorrow, alright? Today we need to focus on finding all your stuff.” He tickled her sides.

***

Ivy was tugging on Jamie’s hand, somehow spotting the paint section quicker than he could. “Slow down!” He laughed heartily, his daughter shooting him a glare as he purposely slowed his feet down. He hoisted Ivy up to see the purple swatches along the top row, she reached for a dark one, just like Jamie knew she would. He sighed, “Ivy, we agreed on light purple, what about this one?” He offered, grabbing a lavender type color, she grunted in disgust, shaking her head dramatically, her blonde curls hitting his face. “Love this one.” She pouted, holding it in front of his face.

Jamie held in a sigh as you walked past him, stopping to look at paint swatches as well. “What about this one?” Jamie compromised, it was darker than he wanted to go, but still light enough to not feel like a dungeon. Ivy’s lip began to quiver, quickly catching both Jamie and the woman’s attention. “Ivy.” Jamie sighed softly, you intervened, “you know, I wanted a dark purple room when I was your age too.” You spoke to Ivy, catching her attention as she lifted her head, Jamie shifting slightly, giving you a smile. “My dad wouldn’t let me do it.” You made a face, getting a giggle out of Ivy, “he was right though, but guess what we compromised?” You mused, holding your hand out for the paint swatches that Jamie had. He handed them over with ease, “we painted one wall, dark, the wall I had my bed on, and the rest we did light.” You explained, Jamie giving Ivy a bright smile when she looked at him like it was the greatest idea ever. “We can do that, Ivy.” He agreed, and you giggled, “glad I could be of help.” You added.

“Thank you,” Jamie paused, waiting for a name. “Y/N.” You told him, smiling at the pair, “and your name is?” You asked, already figuring the little girl's name was Ivy. “Jamie.” He introduced himself. “What are you painting?” Ivy asked boldly, not one to talk much around new people, Jamie set her down so she could look at other colors, amused by her sudden interest. “I’m painting my dining room.” You answered, squatting down to her level, “do you have any color suggestions?” You asked Ivy. Jamie gave you a look that said you really don’t have to entertain her but you just gave him a smile. “Yellow.” Ivy announced, looking at the wall and grabbing actually, a very nice swatch, it was just yellow enough. You tilted your head as you looked at it, imagining it in your space. “That’s a very pretty color, Ivy.” You told her, smiling brightly as she blushed, handing you the color sample. “Thank you, Y/N.” She spoke politely, even though the words didn’t come out perfectly, it was a great attempt. “You’re welcome.” You stood to your full height, shocking Jamie by walking over to the counter to order the paint, no hesitation that a random little girl picked it out.

“You don’t have to-“ Jamie started to say, but you shrugged, giving him a happy smile, “I just got a new place, a fresh start, yellow seems fitting.” You told him. Jamie gave you a lopsided smile, if only you knew he was doing the same. “Daddy, this ones.” Ivy gasped, giving him two swatches, he chuckled at her grammar, squatting down to her level, “you’re sure?” He asked, he knew after all it was just paint, and if it turned out so terrible, they could paint over it but he didn’t want to have to do this twice. “This one looks like momma's dress!” Ivy explained, Jamie looked at the dark purple in his hand, instantly remembering Cora in that dress, Ivy’s favorite picture of her that she kept in her room. Suddenly her color choice made sense, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop, your heart stopping at Jamie’s next words. “Yeah, I think momma would have loved this.”

Was she… dead? You tried to knock the thought from your head, they were so young, but you knew accidents happened. You quickly looked away as Jamie stood back up, “here you go ma’am.” The teenager behind the counter spoke, you took the gallon from him, shooting him a smile. “Have a good day.” You told him, offering Jamie and Ivy a wave. “Will I see you again?” Ivy asked, Jamie nearly had heart failure right there as you stopped and giggled. “Oh I don’t know sweetheart, Seattle is a really big city. But don’t you worry, if I ever see you out and about I’ll be sure to say hello.” You assured her, watching as she got all giddy and slightly hid behind her father again. “Bye.” You told him, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling any wider. “Bye, Y/N.” He mumbled, seeming a little dazed as he made his way up to the counter.

***

It had been nearly a week in the new house, the walls were done, almost everything was unpacked and they were starting to feel a sense of normalcy. Jamie loved the neighborhood they ended up in, a true mix of all different people, yes their house was rather large, but it was still homey. The community was sprawling, having a little bit of everything, stand alone homes, townhomes, even some condos, there were plenty of kids around which made him feel good about his choice as he followed Ivy down the road as she rode her bike. “Slow down, Ivy.” Jamie cautioned as she was getting a good bit ahead of him, she huffed dramatically and slowed down, waiting for him to catch up. She was looking around at the houses, confused as to why they were attached, even though Jamie had explained it to her plenty of times. Ivy gasped so loudly, that you could hear it from your front lawn where you were spray painting a piece of furniture. You glanced over and did a double take.

There was absolutely no way, you refused to believe you were actually seeing this, then you saw Jamie and you were convinced the universe either loved you for letting you see him again, or hated you, as you were in ratty old painting clothes.

“Ivy!” You grinned, laughing when the little girl flew off her bike, letting it fall sideways, making Jamie groan, “hi Y/N!” She squealed running up your lawn. You smiled brightly as she hugged your leg, “Ivy.” Jamie called, giving you an apologetic smile but you shrugged it off. “Did you paint your room?” You asked the little girl as she pulled away, a pink tint to her cheeks, she nodded, her blonde curls bouncing in her ponytail. “Yay, that’s great!” You cheered, Jamie walked up behind her, “hi, Y/N. How are you?” He asked, his daughter leaning back against his legs as you two spoke. “Good, been busy making this place my own.” You laughed, motioning to the small townhome behind you. It was your first solo place, and you absolutely adored it, even if it needed some work. “Yeah, you always forget how much work it is moving into a new place.” He agreed, chuckling softly. “Did you do yellow?” Ivy asked, rocking on her feet. “I did.” You assured her, “would you two like to go in and see it?” You asked, cringing internally as you waited to look up at Jamie. “Sure.” He answered, grabbing his daughter's hand, following you inside.

You led them to the dining room, giggling as Ivy gasped, “so pretty!” She cheered, the yellow paid off, it made the space feel much more happy. “All because of you.” You told her, she asked if she could look at the pictures you had sitting on the entry table and you gave her a quick nod, giving you and Jamie a chance to talk. “Same neighborhood? If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were stalking me.” You teased him lightly, getting a hearty chuckle out of him. “It is quite the coincidence.” He agreed, he felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time since he had met Cora.

It absolutely terrified him.

***

It had been a few weeks since that day, and you’d seen Ivy outside playing with another woman, Jamie not to be seen. You came out to grab your mail as she went riding by, “hi, Y/N!” She called, continuing to pedal away. “Hi, Ivy.” You spoke, you went over and introduced yourself to the girl, Taylor, finding out she was her babysitter. “Jamie must go out pretty often.” You commented to her, she shook her head, “oh no, he never goes anywhere without Ivy aside from work.” Taylor told you, “he plays hockey, I'm surprised you didn’t know that.” Taylor added, smiling as Ivy came up to the two of you. “We should be going, it’s almost dinner time.” Taylor spoke, she couldn’t be older than 20. You gave them both a smile, “yes! You don’t want to miss that.” You chuckled, bidding them a goodbye before going inside and googling Jamie.

What you found shocked you.

Jamie Oleksiak taking personal time to mourn loss of fiancé.

Jamie Oleksiak, will he be able to balance a professional career and a baby?

Will he bounce back from this?

You clicked the first article, bracing yourself as it loaded.

The date was from almost three years ago, you scrolled down and began to read…

Jamie Oleksiak has announced the sudden passing of his fiancé, Cora Hadley. Together they shared a daughter Ivy, who was also involved in the incident, she is expected to make a complete recovery.

A close friend tells us it was a severe car accident.

Our condolences to the family.

You clicked away from the article as tears burned your eyes. That was terrible. You read some of the other articles and only grew mad at how the reporters belittled his pain, only talking of how poorly his game play had been since then. And though you’d never wish that kind of loss on anyone, you know they wouldn’t be writing like that if they had felt it.

***

You and Jamie exchanged numbers, citing that it was for “neighborhood emergencies” you giggled at the thought as he was currently asking you what he should get Cora for the upcoming Christmas.

She’s the pickiest three year old ever, everyone always tells me that.

Well, what does the pickiest three year old ever like to do?

She’s either riding her bike and getting absolutely filthy or she’s inside playing dress up and being a little princess

Princess car?

They make those?!?

Oh, Jamie, I really need to take you shopping 🤦‍♀️

Tell me when and I’ll be there…

You tell me hot shot, you’re the one that plays hockey for a living.

How did you find out?

Google is a powerful thing… just kidding, Taylor told me.

Of course she did

Saturday afternoon? My parents will be in town and they want to take Ivy out for the day, so it’s a perfect excuse.

You know where I live, see you then!

He started typing, but then the dots went away and you never received another message.

You brushed it off, feeling butterflies in your stomach for the first time in years as you thought of merely shopping with Jamie for Christmas.

****

“You like him!” Your friend gushed to you as you spoke on the phone while getting ready, “no!” You rushed, only proving her point more. “Y/N, really.” Your friend, Amanda, spoke. “There’s nothing wrong with that, he’s clearly attractive and he’s a dad! He’s not going to be a jerk that just messed around with girls! It’s great.” She rambled, you sighed, pulling your jeans on with a little jump, “his fiancé died, Amanda. He could very well not be over that yet, and I wouldn’t blame him.” You explained, she went silent, “well you left that part out, how was I supposed to know.” She mumbled sheepishly. “It was almost three years ago, their baby was only six months old.” You whispered, cursing when your doorbell rang down the stairs. “Shit, shit, I have to go Amanda!” You rushed, hanging up as soon as she said bye. You adjusted the sweater you had on as you rushed down the stairs, careful not to fall flat on your face. You grabbed your purse as you walked past the counter, yelping as you stumbled and landed on your butt. So close.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Jamie called, hearing the thud, “yes, yeah, just a second.” You called out, wincing as you stood up, that was definitely going to hurt later. You finally, finally reached the door and unlocked it, pulling it open and giving him a bright smile. “Did you fall?” He asked instantly, bursting into laughter when your face went blank. “We’re not going to talk about that Jamie.” You chastised, stepping onto your little porch to leave with him. “Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled, giving you a once over as you locked the door. “Is Ivy excited to be with your parents today?” You asked him, Jamie laughed under his breath, “so excited, she didn’t even care that I was going out.” He told you as he opened the passenger side door of his truck for you. “Thanks.” You mumbled as you slid in, your heart pounding in your chest. He shut the door and made his way around the truck as you adjusted in the seat.

“So, where to?”

****

Jamie was shocked and grimacing at the price of the princess car that he and you both knew Ivy would love. “Is she the type to give up on new toys quickly?” You asked, tilting your head as you both stared at the display, he shook his head as gave in. He had been leaning against the shelves and as he walked away you noticed his phone had fallen out of his pocket, you picked it up so no one would steal it as you waited for him to come back with a cart, and hopefully someone to help him with the box because it was not something you’d be much help with. His phone began to ring in your hand, the contact flashing across the top said mom, you let it ring, you’d tell him as soon as he came back. As soon as it stopped it was ringing again, you panicked and swiped to answer it, worried that something had happened to Ivy. “Hello?” You spoke into the phone, hearing Ivy wailing in the background. Fuck.

“Who is this?” His mother rushed, “I’m Y/N, Jamie forgot his phone he’s walking around the store– is everything alright?” You asked, cutting straight to the point, “no, we’re going to the emergency room, Ivy fell at the park and I think she broke her arm.” His mother rushed, and thankfully you saw Jamie approaching, “Jamie!” You shouted, rushing over, he furrowed his eyebrows seeing you on his phone.

“It’s your mom.” You rushed, giving it to him and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he listened to her speak over Ivy crying. “Shit, alright I’ll meet you there.” He told her, shooting you an apologetic look. “Go.” You assured him, he shook his head grabbing your hand and pulling you along, he wasn’t going to leave you stranded in a department store. “Sorry, he’ll purchase it another day!” You called to the employee who had a blank look on his face. “Let me talk to Ivy.” Jamie demanded after his mom had said something else, “daddy, it hurts!” Ivy got out between cries as his mother held the phone to her ear. “I know, princess. I’ll be there soon alright? I promise.” He assured her, finally releasing your hand as he realized he’d been holding it this whole time.

He managed to get off the phone so he could drive to the hospital, repeatedly apologizing for you being stuck with him and that this happened. “I was going to take you to lunch and ugh I’m just sorry.” You raised an eyebrow at his ramblings as you guys got stuck at a red light less than a mile from the hospital. “Jamie, stop apologizing. She’s your daughter, she always comes first, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” You soothed him, he glanced over at you, nodding softly, “reschedule the lunch?” He asked, despite the panic in his head, he still wanted to make sure you saw that he was interested in you.

“Yeah, we can reschedule, let’s just go see your baby.” You leaned over the center console, kissing his cheek as the light changed, doing a little happy dance in your head at how he blushed deeply at your actions.

“Family only.” The nurse remarked as you were about to follow Jamie to the room Ivy was in. He gave her an incredulous look, “it’s fine, go.” You assured him, pulling away from him to stay in the waiting room. He hesitated but went along, disappearing behind the doors as you picked a seat in the corner, making sure you had a sight line to the doors he went through. Over an hour went by as you sat there, scrolling through your phone, not hearing from Jamie, which you assumed was because he was being bombarded with questions of the girl who answered his phone, while also dealing with Ivy who was not going to enjoy the process of getting a cast.

Your phone chimed with a text just as you had finally decided to get off of it,

Finishing up now, sorry if my parents are a lot

You chuckled at the message, making sure you had all your items, including the little stuffy you’d bought at the hospital gift shop during your time sitting here. You stood up as you saw them walking out, Ivy draped over Jamie’s chest, half asleep with her head on his shoulder. “Y/N, it’s so nice to meet you.” His mom spoke, offering her hand, you repeated the sentiment, as well as with his dad. “Ivy.” You whispered, placing a hand on her back, holding the small stuffed animal in your hand, “I got you a little gift for being such a big brave girl.” You mumbled, she shifted to look at you with her puffy eyes, and pout settled deep on her lips, “thanks.” She whispered, taking it and holding it close to her chest, she kept her eyes on you as you walked behind Jamie, keeping up a conversation with his parents. And he was right, they were kind of a lot, but you pushed through, smiling when Ivy finally fell asleep in the car.

You sat in the back with Ivy, Jamie insisting you didn’t have to but you wanted to. “She handled it pretty well.” Jamie commented as he glanced back to see her asleep with her hand in yours. “She’s a tough little thing.” You agreed, glancing over at him, he gave you a heartwarming smile. “Thanks for coming with me today, I know it didn’t go to plan, but it was nice, you know… before she broke her arm.” He trailed off, pulling into your driveway to drop you off. You carefully pulled your hand from Ivy’s, she didn’t budge as she was exhausted from today.

Jamie got out to say goodbye, surprising you with a quick kiss to the cheek and a promise of that lunch date.

***

“Did some research?” You asked teasingly as Jamie took you to your favorite restaurant, you gave him a sideways glance as he parked the truck, “I may have had some assistance.” He shrugged, making you realize that’s why Ivy was grilling you the other day, when you had offered to watch her since Taylor was unavailable. “You two are trouble.” You quipped, watching him slip out wordlessly before opening your door for you. “But I’m a gentleman.” He reminded you, “a very good one at that.” You agreed, steadying yourself with his shoulders when you hoped down. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He declared, had you not wanted to kiss him so badly you would have teased him for the nervousness in his voice, but you simply looped your arms around his neck and let him sweep you off your feet with a wonderful first kiss.

The first of many.

***

Two months, and many, many, sneaky dates and stolen kisses later…

You were over at Jamie’s house, having dinner with him and Ivy, you and Jamie had gone out here and there, but most of your time was spent together with Ivy, and that’s what told him that you were the girl he needed to hang on to. Jamie wanted to take tonight to explain to Ivy that you two were dating, but he was scared, petrified even, that she would become upset and confused. You kept telling him nothing had to be done yet if he wasn’t ready, but he was, he swore he was.

“What’s your favorite color?” You asked Ivy, dinner was long gone and you were playing a game of twenty questions, she wasn’t entirely aware of that but she was having fun nonetheless. “Purple! Like my mommas.” She declared, you gave her a smile, glancing over at Jamie to see how he handled it. Many conversations had happened between you two about the loss of Cora, you never wanted to rush him, and as he only gave Ivy a proud smile, you could tell he was truly ready to start the next chapter of his life again. You liked to think Cora was proud of him, for choosing you to be in their life.

“What’s yours?” Ivy countered back, giving you an inquisitive look, the closer she got to age four, the more like Jamie she seemed, and it always made you chuckle. “Yellow.” You told her, watching as she grinned, Jamie winked at you as you turned sheepish under their gaze. “Because of me?” Ivy gasped. “Yes, because of you.” You giggled, welcoming her hug when she bounced over to you. “Ivy, do you know what it means when people are dating?” Jamie asked his daughter as she stayed seated on your lap, she rested her elbows on the table, holding her head in her hands. “No but you said I’m not allowed to do that.” She spoke in a serious tone, sending you into a hysterical fit of laughter, not expecting her to be so blunt. Jamie tried not to but he joined you with a deep laugh, tipping his head back as Ivy grew impatient. “Ok, besides that.” Jamie cleared his throat, “when I say I’m dating someone that means that I really really like them and I want them to be part of our life.” He explained as best he could, you smiled from behind her at his words. Encouraging him to go on.

“Y/N and I are dating.” He spoke officially, you both held your breath as you waited for her reaction, she turned and looked at you, and then back to her dad. “You love her!” Ivy grinned, sending Jamie wide eyed and you into a wide smile as he blushed, “you love my daddy!” Ivy gasped turning to you, now he was the one grinning as you opened and closed your mouth trying to find the words to say. You gave her a nod, “well, it’s a bit more complicated than that when you’re our age, but yes.” You agreed with her, Jamie grabbed your hand from across the table, giving it a squeeze as Ivy climbed off your lap and started dancing around.

This had gone so much better than he had hoped.

When he was tucking her in that night while you were waiting for him on the couch, she said a few words that made him one hundred percent sure that everything was going the way it should, and that Cora even played a hand in this. “Can I have two favorite colors daddy?” Ivy asked, looking up at him sleepily as he pulled the blanket up her body, she was clinging to the stuffy you’d bought her. “Of course, bug.” He assured her, thinking that was that, but as he kissed her forehead she said, “purple and yellow are my favorites.” By the time he pulled his head back, her eyes were shut and her breathing was evening out. “Yeah, I think those are my favorites too.” He whispered.