✨sky is My name✨

Outside there is peace, the noise of the night is just the crickets and some other whisper of the breeze but not inside you, there is no peace there, not now. The first number you score is John’s, not because he’s the eldest or because he’s the captain of your team. It’s because he was the one who first appeared on your contact list, sorbed the snot and felt the phone ring

one... two ... three .... Four and he replied

"hello ?" John’s snarky voice switched the speaker, your throat closed up and you couldn’t speak " who’s this ?" he spoke again, you had to speak if I wouldn’t hang you, you know he doesn’t see who’s calling him, at least not when he wakes up.

"mmmm John ...." your voice comes out in a trembling whisper, the excitement of the moment and the pain on your face don’t allow you to speak well," its amm... mm it’s me, sorry for calling " you were embarrassed to sound so weak, he shouldn’t be the one you call but you don’t have anyone else now, mom is in another country and dad was too

"hey" can you hear how her voice softens and moves on the sheets of her bed " hey honey are you okay? " damn he always knows when something is wrong You sobbed in silence, with pain in your chest

"John..." your words were stuck in your throat and you could already feel the taste of metal in your mouth, John didn’t speak while you were quiet but you could hear things that pointed him out, he scratched his beard, moved on his bed distraught at your crying

" honey what happens " her voice grew softer and lower "talk to me princess " shit, her voice destroyed you, you should receive that treatment every day and expect no less. You should never have settled for less

"you can come for me" at last you could let go, you cried again and looked in the mirror of your bathroom at home, your new house, and saw the deviation of your nose and the blood running through this from two different places "i hit myself with the window ..." You covered your mouth with your hand and cried again, demons always cried like little baby with John but now it was different "I need you John"

" are you at home?" he asked with a harsher tone, you hoped that he was not angry with you for bothering him, you could hear whining and murmured voices from the other side. You replied a little yes "Alright beautiful, we’ll be there in 10 minutes. " her voice sounded calm, but it was expressing concern

You finished the call and got into the bathtub to cry, Ben was in the room, you could hear him drop bad words and complaints. You had never seen him so angry, you hoped he wouldn’t break the bathroom door, you could knock him down yourself but the punch in your nose caught you off guard, leaving you feeling that you weren’t stronger than him. Same as previous months full of screams and things that crash against you or the walls nearby when he gets angry.

After 8 minutes you could feel the roar of an engine outside, your phone vibrated again, you replied quickly and now kyle’s voice is saying "hey beautiful" his voice as always so sweet reached your soul "we’re already down here, you need us to come in or can you open up" You replied that you were going down in a minute, he just nodded and hang up.

You walked out of the bathroom with light strides, were in your pajamas and barefoot, opened the door and met with kyle and johnny, as soon as you saw them both made a look be, john and simon were behind them and they both saw you and immediately knew something was wrong.

Hey ... - muttered Johnny as his hand caressed your face - a hard blow bonnie? - you nodded and began to tremble at the cry you felt ripping your chest, he just came up to you and hugged you carefully not to touch your nose, it was as if touching porcelain and glass. your scent flooded his lungs, it didn’t change despite everything, the same aroma with which you hadn’t woken up for years. The others shared a worried look as they watched the bruises adorning your skin. Ben threw a doorbell upstairs and shouted your name more angrily than before

“who the fuck is on my fucking door “ you trembled in Johnny’s arms when you heard him, which worried Johnny, you were never afraid of anyone, You were only scared of storms but you were the bravest person he knew.

Ben came to the top of the ladder and saw them, his face looked more angry “who are you? “ he came a little closer to you but stopped when he saw you in Johnny’s arms. John spoke in a low and dangerously loud voice “gaz, soap, get her out of here now “ his gaze didn’t take its eye off Ben, you may not have told him the whole truth but he knew it, I could see it on Ben’s hand, your scarred neck and broken nose.

He knew that your "boyfriend" hurt you, and I would make him pay for it Kyle and Johnny took you straight to the car, once you were with them nothing else mattered, you knew that Simon and John wouldn’t be subtle or gentle with Ben but maybe you didn’t care at all, not after how he behaved with you.

- Are you ... Ben, right? - John’s voice broke the silence, dangerous and deep, his cold gaze crosses the man still standing on the stairs. Ben observes as well, intimidated by the two large men standing in the darkness, there is a small dim light that allows us to see their eyes and the outline of their bodies.

- yes I am... Who are you? - Ben went down the stairs and stood a few steps away from them, he could tell the heavy breathing of both men - oh, we’re just the ones who care so much about y/n - John walked until he was standing in front of him and I looked at his hands - but friend Ben ... You made the biggest mistake of your probably very miserable life…

- you hurt her - Simon finished the sentence, Ben felt his blood freeze and began to sweat cold. when a light lit up Simon’s covered face, the skull looked more terrifying but what scared him most was his look

“ she didn’t... She shouldn’t have yelled at me when I was on a work call “ Ben’s voice trembled for a second “ I was being too upset with all that nonsense and wouldn’t shut up... it wasn’t my fault “Ben walking backwards towards the living room, but he hit the sofa, John could see the living room almost smashed to pieces, with obvious signs of a fight. Simon didn’t take his eye off Ben

“ Ghost, I think this boy needs a lesson “ John grabbed Ben’s hair and threw it on the floor. Ghost is looking for a chair and something to tie him with “ we shouldn’t be the ones who beat you up, boy, but she’s not feeling well enough to give you what you deserve “ John raised his hand and slapped him “ you think you’re very strong and little man, you think you could do stupid things like a little man without getting hurt…”

Simon came back with a chair and tape, John just looked at Simon and gave him the silent order to put him in the chair - what the fuck are they going to do to me - Ben ask scared , Simon just grabs his wrists very tightly and wrapped them in tape “ I’ll call the police “

“ for what you did to her, buddy? “ John reached over his beard and sighed “ because that’s too late, we arrived and we won’t leave until Ghost thinks you got what you deserve” . After that, John and Simon closed the curtains and covered his mouth with tape so that his screams wouldn’t be heard. They wouldn’t kill him, they’d just make him learn that no one messes with his girl

Kyle was driving at a medium speed, was heading to the nearest hospital, Johnny was texting John about where they would be and that as soon as they finished they will take you to a hotel if that's what you wanted . You were in the back seat looking at the street but all you could feel was a void, everything felt distant, didn’t notice the 15 times that Johnny turned to see you or how Kyle looked at you in the rearview mirror. As soon as they arrived, Johnny got off first and opened the door for you, you looked at him and I helped you down, you felt intimidated by how you were dressed, leaving your bruises in plain sight, Kyle noticed it and wrapped you in his jacket. At least you had long pants covering your legs and a short-sleeved t-shirt that only showed your arms

As soon as they came in, they gave you a form that Kyle took care of filling out. 15 minutes later, they called you to check you up.

“Good evening, miss, y/n “ the doctor speaks as she approaches you “ good evening gentlemen “ she greeted Johnny and Kyle who were in the corner of the room “ can you tell me what happened, darling?” the doctor checked your nose and neck, looked back at the boys

“ uhh... My... My boyfriend assaulted me “ you spoke in a low voice without looking at Johnny and Kyle, you couldn’t, you were dying of shame that they saw you like this “ they didn’t... They ... “ you quickly clarified to avoid misunderstandings

Johnny moved in place with his hands on his sweatpants “we are .... We are his friends “ the word felt strange in his mouth, but the situation did not make room for another comment.

“darling, I’ll give you a general check-up and then we can file a complaint against him. is that okay? “ the nurse gently took your hand, you looked at her and nodded “ gentlemen I will ask them to wait in the waiting room... “ before the nurse continued you interrupted with a drowned groan “ can they stay...? “ your eyes were filled with tears at the thought that they would be driven away from you, that if something happened to you they wouldn’t come to you again, again “ please “

the nurse looks at you and sighs “ only one can be here “ Johnny and Kyle looked at each other and in a quiet conversation decided

“ I'll wait outside “ Kyle dedicated a slight smile and warm eyes to you, he left but on his face you could see that he wanted to stay. Once Kyle got out, the nurse began to examine you carefully, checked the marks on your neck, your broken nose. The Nice nurse asked you to take a deep breath because he was going to settle your nose, Johnny moved next to you and gently took your hand, muttered some encouraging words beside you and tried to distract you from the nurse by pressing on your nose and settling it.

When she finished, Johnny stroked your hair while he was muttering "that’s good hen you did incredible" "my brave girl" a few tears fell but he rushed to clean them and kiss your hair.

The nurse gave you a few more tests and some questions until she prescribed painkillers and asked if you were going to report it, to which you replied that you would do so later. You didn’t want the police questioning your four special forces soldiers.

The nurse said goodbye to you and left, leaving you and Johnny alone. Your nose hurt but it wasn’t compared to the pain in your chest, Johnny kept looking at you like it physically hurts to see you in this state " you’ll be fine Mo ghràdh, I promise "

Your voice trembles " I didn’t think I’d get to this point "your look doesn’t dare stand on the, but he looks for your eyes with his own " I thought he loved me ..." You sob and cover your face with your hand letting the emotions come out of you.

He no longer resists and rises from the chair where he was and wraps you in his arms, leaving you to cry, some tears escape from his blue eyes but he wants to be strong for you.

After a while you’re already calm, but Johnny didn’t want to let you go. Kyle showed up at the door with a coffee and some things to eat " hello pretty, I didn’t know if you’d be hungry " I left the food and the coffee on a little table next to your stretcher. The three of them grabbed their respective drinks and drank them quietly, Kyle and Johnny would look at you every now and then, watching the faces you made while swallowing and when the IV bothered you to move. Kyle moved into his chair and I speak in a low tone " we can take you to a hotel if that’s what you want, one of us will stay to make sure you’re safe ..."

You wanted to say that they will take you to their house, your old home, but how could you even ask them for something, after all you decided to make another life after them, you decided to move on and never heard from them again. Also how could you, after they had to drag you out of your "perfect house" with your "perfect boyfriend" made a mess, with the broken nose and the vertebrae almost out of place. It was better to keep your distance, so you wouldn’t keep regretting being gone.

" Okay... I need clothes " you moved on the stretcher in front of both eyes

" we can go to... " Johnny got ahead of you when the word -house- didn’t come out of your mouth " It's fine, hen, Simon can bring us your things "

They both waited for you to finish your coffee to accompany you to put on your clothes again so that you could take you to a hotel. Back in the car you fall asleep feeling heavy, maybe because of painkillers or because you are more relaxed than a few hours ago.

John is smoking a cigarette in the living room with Ben in front, who was watching him as he moved in the chair. The ropes were tight and the jaw in his mouth barely let him move without feeling uncomfortable, Simon had hit him on the knee a few minutes earlier.

“You know what the problem is with you ben…” The smoke from the cigarette came to the face of the sitting boy who only trembled at the words of John "you are an idiot who pretends to be a very man just by raising your voice and hitting a woman who is with you even though you are... just a piece of shit "

simon approached him and hit him on the stomach as he heard John coming off the punch, then I raised my hand to stop him for a second " I’m going to give you options, boy, because even if I wanted to bury you alive I have to do it " another sippy of the cigar " I must do it because according to what is... it’s not worth it to stain my hands with your fucking blood " he got up from the chair and approached the young man in the chair the cigarette was almost consumed sank into Ben’s cheek who twisted himself

" you’re going to go somewhere else far away from here and mainly far away from her, do you understand me ?"

"bloody psychopath" growls Ben in anger as soon as Simon gets the gag from his mouth " I’m going to report you to the police, my father is a very important man..." his words were interrupted when John gave him a slap in the face

" I don’t give a fuck your daddy or the fucking money he has " his eyes found ben’s " if you don’t disappear by Saturday or the day after tomorrow, I will find you and you won’t breathe again " the voice made the young man warm again in front of him " and that either I or one of us finds out that you hurt someone else because otherwise " john let the young man answer

"You’ll find me" ben temple when I see the smile of John who was far from being happy or in a good mood

" good boy, ghost check the house and pack her things"John got straight and made his neck snap to release the tension " don’t call anyone kid not necessary, okay? " Ben moved again in the chair " just go and nothing bad will happen to you " John’s hands were pressed against his side " good night " and a fist crashed into the boy’s face to keep him out of the game for a while

Simon upstairs had taken off the mask as soon as he grabbed a suitcase that was clearly hers, baby light blue color and began to pack all her things, but surprisingly there were not many. Although he had been here for two years, he didn’t have as much stuff as he imagined, there were no summer dresses that she liked so much, no short pajamas, or any other kind of short or revealing clothes. Simon felt that vomiting was rising when he realized the situation exceeded only blows, the manipulation of your body was seen all over the place, it reminded his mother a little, no one deserved to live with a monster, he thought it was one before you left but he was wrong, and it was too late to open his eyes.

He kept every piece of clothes that was there, looked in the drawers and everything that wasn’t yours on the floor and stepped on it with his boots with contempt. Every perfume and the little makeup that was there were in a smaller bag. After storing all that, he look for your important documents and papers that were in a safe in the closet, but the key was not very difficult to get since it was stuck on the wall behind.

When he was going to close the closet, a flash was seen on the top shelf and he reached with his hand what had been illuminated. A stuffed animal that Kyle had given you for your birthday, each part of which had their initials embroidered.In the heart of the animal were your initials, the little one was full of dust but still Simon shook him and kept it with everything else to go down and leave.

John was at the backyard door seeing the small plants that had a nearly hidden sign saying "do not touch property of y/n" with hearts, he smiled and felt a tear fall down his cheek. his girl was hurt, they always hurt you, no matter what age you are, he’s the only one who knows your whole story, how they hurt you when you were a child and at all your stages someone betrays you or hurts your feelings, which are always pure and your soul so kind and gentle despite all the pain you have endured.

his hand flew straight into his face to dry the tears that fell out of control. would do everything in his power from now on to protect you, no matter what

He wouldn’t bury Ben, of course not, because he knows that as soon as Nikolai finds out, he’ll be at the door of the bastard, and he will hurt him however he wants, and that was enough. he took the phone out of his pocket as soon as Simon touched his shoulder, he turned to Simon who had a pair of keys for the vehicles that were there " I'll go in a moment " the voice of John came out snorting, Simon nodded and took both suitcases to the jeep outside, John took another deep breath and dialed the number on his phone, just for a minute so that a growling voice could be heard from the other side because of the dream "captain"

" nik, I need you to take care of someone "he look inside " I think you’ll enjoy it comrade "

When you and Johnny Kyle arrived at the hotel, you were sound asleep in the back seat, but as soon as some arms touched you, you woke up scared and ready to defend yourself, but all you saw was Kyle raising his hands in surrender. "hey hey hey calm down it’s just me" his warm and serene voice calms your heart that was running a thousand an hour.

"Where are we? " You don’t remember well whether what happened earlier was a dream or if it really was, you should be at home because you are here

" We are in a hotel in the city center, Johnny and I took you to the hospital " his calm voice explained patiently " you agreed to come to a hotel " his hand wrapped yours that was incredibly cold

" You’re right, I’m sorry " your voice came out a little hoarse again and you lowered your head in shame but he stroked your hand and said there was nothing to apologize for.

Johnny showed up behind Kyle with a card in his hand " I got the rooms " his smile made you calm even more " we left you the best for you little one " whispered Kyle near you and stretched your arms to carry you, which you agreed to since the painkillers were still present in your body and you didn’t trust your legs.

He takes care of you and waits for Johnny to close the car so he can start walking through the parking lot to an elevator nearby, because what Johnny had said was that the rooms were on the fourth floor.

In the elevator, Kyle's chest was warm and comfortable, even softer than you remembered. They arrived in the room and left you in bed to close the curtains and put the room in order for you to spend the night.

You felt your bladder contracted and asked you to go to the bathroom so you got up with difficulty, both of them moved quickly toward you but you raised your hand to stop them " I can, I just go to the bathroom " they both nodded but remained attentive to you outside the bathroom. As soon as you closed the door kyle’s phone vibrated on the TV table and he took it and answered.

You could hear Kyle talking from the bathroom, he wasn’t arguing but he wasn’t calm either, maybe it was John. You felt pathetic as soon as you pulled up your pants and got dizzy, the guilt sank down your chest, as soon as you got up you looked in the mirror and started to cry, everything was too much. You shouldn’t be here, bothering the boys either,you lean over the sink and let all your sorrows go out unchecked.

Johnny was on the other side of the door, listening to everything, his inner voice felt like breaking the door and holding you in his arms, but he knew that he should give you your space so he would go down to look for John and Simon who were about to arrive. Johnny still remembers why and when you left.

The mission had been a disaster, you risked too much, were hurt and John was furious about it. you did not listen when he told you that you shouldn’t go there, but he didn’t understand that you had done it for a group of girls who were adrift there.

As soon as you woke up Johnny and Kyle were with you but in the middle of love words came the cries of John who couldn’t stop shouting at you things that were hurting you. simon also said something he didn’t want to say. everyone was scared but didn’t know how to express it, they no longer wanted you to work with them, so as not to put you at risk, they knew that you were capable of anything the high comand proposed and that was the worst . the words they delivered hurt you more than any battle wound. The only thing that resonated in your ears were the words of John and Simon "we should never have brought you to the team" "this was never going to work," and clearly you thought they meant their relationship. The weeks that came after that were not easy, none of the four was talking to you, they weren’t at home either. And you heard Simon talking to Kyle one night " I knew we’d be in trouble because of her, we never should have trusted her like that " and that’s when you knew you had to leave. You never told the boys about your past because you didn’t want them to know, many secrets kept and that affected them, or so you thought.

The next morning you submitted your resignation from the unit and packed your things and when they were not at home you left. They looked for you, knew where you were, talked to Kate (your mother) to clarify things, and thought that maybe it was best for you to seek a normal life, away from all the evil of this job, of their lives. They stayed in the shadows watching you go ahead with someone decent.

Kyle was looking for a movie to see if you wanted it when you left the bathroom, your eyes and nose were red. He looks at you and speaks softly " hey " he left you a place in the bed " I put another blanket on you in case you want to go to bed "

" Oh thank you kyle " you smiled a little, you sat next to him and watched your favorite movie on TV. He saw how your eyes lit up and he smiled too. You stayed there watching TV for a while until someone knocked on the door and you startled yourself, but kyle grabbed your hand so you could calm down. look at you and he only got up when you gave him confirmation that you were calm. He opened the door and let Johnny go again, who entered the room took the card for the next room and gave you a kiss on the head before leaving again, both left the room this time leaving you alone with the noise of the TV. You decided to get up once more and went to the bathroom where you stripped off your clothes to get under the hot water.

John’s raspy voice came through the speaker. Your throat tightened and you couldn’t speak.

“Who’s this?” he asked again.

You had to answer or he’d hang up. You know he never checks who’s calling, at least not when he’s just woken up.

“Mmm… John…” your voice came out as a trembling whisper. The emotion of the moment and the pain in your face kept you from speaking properly. “It’s… mm, it’s me. Sorry for calling.”

You felt embarrassed for sounding so weak. He shouldn’t be the person you call, but you don’t have anyone else right now. Mom is in another country, and Dad too.

“Hey.”

You could hear the way his voice softened, the rustle of bedsheets as he moved in bed.

“Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?”

Damn it. He always knew when something was wrong.

You sobbed quietly, your chest aching.

“John…”

The words got stuck in your throat and you could already taste metal in your mouth. John didn’t speak while you stayed silent, but you could hear the little things that gave him away — the scratch of his beard, the shifting of his body in bed, distressed by the sound of your crying.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” his voice became softer, lower. “Talk to me, princess.”

Fuck. His voice destroyed you. You should be treated like that every day and never expect less. You never should’ve settled for less.

“Can you come get me?”

You finally managed to say it. You sobbed again and looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror of your house — your new house — and saw the crooked angle of your nose and the blood running from two different places.

“I hit the window…”

You covered your mouth with your hand and sobbed again. Damn it, you always cried like a little kid with John, but this was different.

“I need you, John.”

“Are you home?” he asked, his tone suddenly firmer.

You hoped he wasn’t angry that you’d bothered him. On the other end of the call you could hear groans and murmured voices.

You answered with a small yes.

“Alright, pretty girl. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

You should be sleeping, but instead, you’re in your living room with a glass of wine in hand, crying over your ex-boyfriend, Philip Graves. It’s pathetic. Two days ago, you barely remembered him at all, but while folding clothes, you saw the expensive dress he bought you, and since then, you couldn’t stop crying. You remember how you met him—you had been rescued from the Red Room at just 17, and you were kept under observation at the CIA for a year, testing your mind and abilities. Kate was with you the whole time, and you sought comfort in her. One day, they took you to an office where the general spoke to you and said you could receive a pardon if you worked for them, or you could go to prison once you reached adulthood. You chose freedom and decided to work with them. Graves had seen your file and said he wanted you on the team. After some tests and talks, you were in shadow company.

It was only a matter of time before you started feeling something for Graves. He was attractive, treated you with unusual condescension, and touched you lightly on the hip and chin. You were too naive, and he took advantage of that, sweet-talking you until you were in the palm of his hand. After a year in his company, he had already showered you with gifts and had asked you to be his girlfriend. He was your first everything—your first genuine kiss (not for a mission), your first time (consensual), your first love.

But a few months before he betrayed you, he changed. He stopped being there, stopped looking at you, stopped talking to you, and when he did speak, he was angry and yelled at you. You thought you had done something wrong. You were embarrassed to talk to Kate about it—you should know better; you know how to persuade people to reveal their darkest secrets, but you don’t know how to be a good girlfriend.

Until he pointed a gun at you, and your world fell apart. The one who had said “I love you” to you for the first time shot you in the leg—but you knew he would have killed you if Alejandro hadn’t attacked him first. You know it was orders from above, but he couldn’t question them, couldn’t fight for you. Maybe you weren’t worth it—an aimless spy isn’t enough to risk so much.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of your phone—a message from Johnny. Since that night at the café a month ago, you had spoken a few times, about nothing in particular, but it was entertaining to talk to him. You learned they had returned to the UK, so you had spoken with Kyle, who didn’t talk as often as Johnny but enough to show he wanted to hear from you. It made you sad to know you wouldn’t see them, but at least they were home, maybe safe.

Hi Bonnie, are you awake? —you smiled at the message. He knew you were sad, but you hadn’t told him why; you hadn’t mentioned who broke your heart and left you in pieces, but he saw it in your eyes.

Hi Johnny boy, yes I’m awake —you texted, your vision blurred from the alcohol—insomnia attacking me again 😫 —you waited for him to reply and changed the song playing on the TV.

Video call? —you smiled again and called him. As soon as he answered, you saw him, reclining with one arm behind his head.

Hi Johnny —you smiled slightly, noticing how puffy your face was from crying. You instantly regretted agreeing to the video call.

“Hi beautiful… are you okay?” His expression changed, and you could see him sitting up in bed, dim light illuminating him.

“Oh yes, I’m perfect, just allergic, you know… too much dust…” You looked at the cushion on your lap and played with the edge to avoid looking at him.

“I grew up with sisters, Lassie, I can see that.” His voice softened but demanded that you tell him why your face was streaked with tears.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” You saw him shake his head, and you sighed. “Some time ago I broke up with my boyfriend of five years, and I was crying because it still hurts you know ?. But it wasn’t because he cheated; he just stopped loving me…” Your voice broke.

“You know, darling, with the little I know about you, I don’t think anyone is capable of stopping loving you.” His smile appeared on the screen; you barely managed a grimace. “Maybe he was an idiot who couldn’t see that you were too valuable to let go.”

“Maybe if I had done more…” Your voice sounded uncertain, but he didn’t let you continue. “luv, you’re more than enough. You’re generous, kind, caring, sweet, and loving.” He paused to chuckle. “Plus, you’re tough and defend what you believe is right with the ferocity of a warrior. Simon kept talking about how you walked kilometers with a bullet in your thigh. You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met.” You laughed at how fast he spoke—without a trained ear, you wouldn’t have understood half of it. Hearing you laugh, he stopped talking. “There it is, Bonnie. That’s the one I want to see, the one who smiles so much that the sun is ashamed it doesn’t shine as brightly as you.”

You stared at him for a few seconds and blushed again, covering your face with a hand. “Why do you have to say things like that, Johnny? You barely know me.”

But he only replied, “I know you well enough to realize you’re someone worth fighting for, darling.”

You removed your hand from your face, your eyes filling with tears again, but this time from awe. “Now why don’t you go to bed, Bonnie? I’ll be with you so you can sleep.”

You looked around, deciding to leave everything as it was. You told him you’d hang up just to change and get ready for bed. A little while later, you called him again, now cozy and covered.

“Good night, Johnny” —you smiled, and he wanted to capture your soft face in his memory.

“Good night, Bonnie, sweet dreams” —your eyes closed quickly, but every time sleep pulled you down, your gaze returned to his face, and you prayed God wouldn’t take away this beautiful friendship.

Two weeks later, you were working at the café. Hailie was helping you since your leg pain had worsened due to the humidity, leaving you gasping at the back of the café, waiting for it to ease. While delivering orders to tables, you approached one where someone hadn’t been served. The customer was suspiciously hiding behind the menu. You laughed discreetly at the sight.

Good afternoon, have you decided what to order?

The person lowered the menu, and your heart stopped for a moment.

Hello, miss. —Kyle was bathed in the afternoon sun as if an angel had appeared before you. —I think I already know what to order.

Gaz… —you laughed and looked around to see if anyone else needed attention—what are you doing here? Your gaze followed his face as he stood and leaned over to hug you; his scent was intoxicating.

I wanted to bring you a Christmas gift, from the whole team. —He nodded toward the box next to the table, a large box. —I know you’re working, but could you have a drink with me? I’ll pay triple.

His invitation took you by surprise, but what could you lose by sitting down to have something with him? You nodded, and he asked for a tea, a slice of almond cake, and a slice of blueberry cream tart. You went to prepare everything and told Hailie you’d be taking a short break. She just stared at you for a few seconds, then started jumping around like a schoolgirl.

Shhhh, Hailie, be quiet! They’re going to hear us. —you gently tapped her arm while laughing.

God, girl, go and stay with that man until tomorrow, darling, he’s divine! She helped you with the tray and sent you to the table. You returned to Kyle without your apron and with your hair down, as Hailie had suggested. You sat at the table and saw Kyle on his phone.

That gift box is huge! Did you put Ghost in there? —you should breathe, but why the hell did this beautiful human render you completely dumbstruck just by being there?

Oh yes, he’s actually in there. —He laughed again. —I hope I didn’t get you in trouble with your boss. You looked at him wide-eyed and started laughing. He stared at you, unsure what to do; at least his comment lightened your mood.

After a minute, when you were able to catch your breath, you explained:

Darling, this place is mine. I’m the owner.

He was speechless again, but he didn’t have time to collect his thoughts because Hailie arrived with the tray, grinning from ear to ear. Once she set everything down, she looked at you:

That’s it, boss. If you need anything, call me. Enjoy!

Thanks Hailie. Please, eat—this blueberry tart is my new recipe. You wrinkled your nose, a small gesture you made whenever something excited you. He watched you before grabbing the plate and taking a bite.

Do you like it? Your eyes shone, and he melted at the taste and the sight of your face.

After all the plates were empty…

After nearly four hours of talking, with him being a total gentleman, it was time to say goodbye.

Thanks, Kyle, for the gift, and thanks for spending hours with me without getting bored. You laughed, but he didn’t.

You’re too interesting for anyone to get bored. I enjoyed spending time with you. I hope we can do it again. He came closer and kissed your cheek. —See you soon, beautiful.

Leaving you with words stuck in your throat and tears in your eyes, he left.

Later that night, you checked the gift box. There was a small folder with hand-drawn sketches, a box of chocolates, a box with a necklace, a bracelet, a baby pink mug, and some other things. At the bottom of the box was an envelope labeled “Task Force 141.”

The envelope caught your attention. You took it out—it had no other markings outside—so you opened it and read the letter inside. Basically, it said they were very happy to have met you, expressing full gratitude for your help in las almas mission and for being a great support to Johnny when he was bleeding. Even more words from each team member shared their first impressions of you, and at the end… an invitation to join 141. You would have time to think—perhaps you should say no and start a normal civilian life.

But since you were too bored, you joined 141. Plus, you could start making new friends. That was six months ago. You quickly sorted your affairs in the United States, leaving the café in Hailie and her girlfriend Becky’s care, and moved to the United Kingdom to be nearby if needed. Though you had a small house, you spent most of your time at the base, training and hanging out with your best friends—the sergeant couple you once caught kissing in the armory. Sometimes you went to Price’s office, where you read books or simply brought coffee to your captain when he stayed up working. That’s where you got to know him better, talking calmly and giving him the peace he sometimes needed, though one day, you nearly gave poor John a heart attack after a mission where you acted impulsively, but for the team’s good.

Kyle and Simón had been trapped in a building full of enemies. You held your breath and ran toward the building, ignoring Johnny’s shouts through the communicator. John growled at you directly through the headset, but you ignored him too. You took down enemies in your path quickly, shots were easy (or maybe you were just really angry). You reached an open floor and saw someone lying on the ground in the distance. By their size, you knew it was Kyle. You ran to him, weapon raised just in case, and when you saw his face—a cut on his cheek bleeding—your heart sank. You knelt beside him and began moving him.

Gaz, please wake up! —you removed your gloves to cup his face. Blood stained your fingers, and the desperation from the distant gunfire and your unconscious teammate on the floor surged, trying to pull you down, but you fought against it as you always did since you were a child.

“All stations this is Bravo 2-05, I need medical extraction at my position now .”

Your attention returned to Kyle, and this time you could see he was barely breathing, nearly panicking.

Kyle, wake up! —you shook him a little harder. He woke up, gasping for air, coughing as he sat up. You pressed your forehead against his, holding him by the vest, breathing heavily with relief.

You took your time, Sergeant. —He looked at you, confused and slightly dazed. —Can you walk? We need to move. He nodded, composed himself, and started walking. You let him go ahead while looking for Simón. You stayed alert to everything—the noises, possible enemies, the exhausted sergeant behind you. You hoped he wouldn’t collapse because you couldn’t carry both him and Simón.

You reached a dark room, panting, not seeing Simón. You had already searched the entire building. Suddenly, as if God had heard you, everything around you fell silent, and you heard a muffled groan behind a wall. You ran there and found Simón, his hand pressed to his side, covering what seemed to be a bleeding gunshot wound.

“Lieutenant…” Blood pooled across the floor as you dropped to your knees beside him. Your uniform scraped against your knees, but the sight in front of you was far more painful. Simon was barely breathing. “Stay calm, sir, I’ll get you out of here.”

“Where’s Garrick?” His voice was rough, like he hadn’t had water in days. His heavy hands gripped yours as you worked to examine his wound. “He’s fine. I think he hit his head but he’s still moving.” He shifted in place, gripping your hands harder. “Get out of here and take Gaz out. I can’t move without getting dizzy anymore. Get out.”

You froze at that, then yanked your hands free. “Don’t you dare ask me to leave you to die here, Lieutenant.” A burst of gunfire rained down, and he shielded your head, shouting at Gaz to move. He had to fire at two enemies who had slipped inside. As soon as the two shooters went down, Simon—no, Ghost—grabbed you by the neck.

“That’s an order, Sergeant. Go…” But he started coughing blood and collapsed.

Your hands moved quickly, applying pressure to the wound and wrapping a bandage. “Come on, don’t do this to me. Don’t go.” He didn’t want to fight anymore—he had already accepted the possibility he wouldn’t make it out. Once the bandage was nearly secure, you took him by the arms and drew a deep breath before hoisting him onto your shoulders. You prayed for God to give you the strength to carry him to safety. Kyle just stared at you in shock. You were… well, small compared to them, but where on earth had you gotten such strength? He led the way as you descended three floors with Simon on your back.

When you reached the bottom, the helicopter was waiting to take you back to base. Johnny helped you with Simon while Price rushed to Gaz, who climbed into the helicopter saying he was fine. John ran to you and caught you. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, Sergeant.” You gasped into his shoulder, feeling your muscles tearing. Everyone climbed aboard, and you stared at Gaz—who looked a little lost—and at Simon, who was being treated by a medic.

It took 35 minutes to reach base. You watched as Simon was rushed off on a stretcher and two medics took Kyle away. Fear flooded your chest, and anxiety surged through your body like a tsunami. Price followed after them, and Johnny took you by the waist, walking you to your small room.

You were no longer calm. Your hands shook violently and sweated so much you couldn’t dry them on your shirt before they were damp again. Your heart raced so fast you thought you might die of an attack. and as if that were not enough , your muscles felt like they were about to give out after carrying Simon. You glanced around the room for a second, and your knees buckled when you saw the dried blood. Johnny caught you and held you tight. The pressure of his arms hurt, but you didn’t want him to stop. His words reached you as if your head were underwater, but when you heard him clearly, you did as he said—breathing deeply several times. He loosened his grip on you but didn’t let go.

When you felt better, you realized the position you were in—your cheek resting on his bicep, his hand in your hair. You lifted your gaze to meet his eyes. He gave you a soft smile and stroked your cheek, where a cut had reddened your skin. “They’re going to be fine, love. You saved them. I’ve got you.” You nodded and stood to head to the bathroom, where you washed your hands and your face to prepare to face the situation.

You left with Johnny straight to the medical wing, where you asked about Kyle and Simon. Kyle was being checked for a possible concussion, and Simon was about to go into surgery. Johnny went with you to the waiting room, where Price was already seated, staring at the wall. You sat next to him, your eyes drifting to where medics moved quickly, but sleep overtook you, and you dozed off.

An hour later, Kyle was still in his room but resting. The doctor said he’d be fine but needed rest. You fell asleep on John’s shoulder, tears slipping from your eyes as images lingered even in your dreams. A doctor approached, and John woke you. All three of you stood. “Does anyone have A+ blood? We just need a liter for the lieutenant…” The doctor didn’t finish before you interrupted: “I have A+.” He led you to a room where they drew a liter of blood.

You returned to the waiting room, where Johnny was waiting with a chocolate bar and a coffee. An hour later, they informed you Simon was out of danger—that you had saved his life, pulling him out and giving him the blood he needed. A part of you was with him now, maybe forever.

The next morning, you dressed with great effort and painkillers. The first thing you did was go see Simon and Kyle, to check if they were still okay. Kyle was having breakfast, watching TV when you walked into his room. His smile wasn’t as wide as you were used to—thanks to the cut on his cheek—but it still shone as always. The sunlight wrapped around him majestically. He and the sun seemed like one.

“Good morning, Ky.” You walked closer, and he reached out to hug you, which you did, inhaling his scent—mixed with antiseptics but still there. “Thank you, love. Really.” he whispered in your ear, stroking your hair gently. He asked about Simon, but you said you hadn’t seen him yet and would let Kyle have the privilege of being first. A nurse asked you to leave for a check-up, and you said goodbye to him to go see Simon.

You entered the room and saw him asleep, curtains drawn to block out the light. You knew he’d sleep most of the day—he was sedated like a horse. You walked to him and lightly touched his hand, where his scars were visible.

“Hello, Lieutenant. I just wanted to… see you, make sure you’re okay, sir.” Your gaze moved to his face. He looked peaceful, clean, a little pale. “You should see the day out there. The sun is so bright you’d be grateful to have the heaviest curtains in the regiment.” You laughed softly, but your laughter faded at the sight of his chest rising and falling slowly.

Seeing him so still scared you. “I know what I did was wrong and I’ll probably get fired or get scolded by you , but I don’t regret anything, Simon. I know you think you’re not worth fighting for… I know. I heard you talking with the base therapist.” A tear slid down your cheek at the memory. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but you heard the therapist scolding Simon for something, and him saying he didn’t feel important or valuable enough for someone to fight for or risk themselves for him. “You’re more valuable than you think, Simon. And maybe you won’t hear me, but I have to say it, because for a moment, I thought I’d lose you.”

The fear you felt yesterday was still there, like… like a ghost. But it made you realize this team had truly won your heart in ways you could never explain.

You were still not open to the possibility of having a romantic relationship—just like you couldn’t with all of them. That would be wrong… maybe even inappropriate. And yet, even if you only had them as friends, you would be grateful for that small gift: “When I see you, Simon… I don’t see someone bad or dark. I see light in you, and that’s enough for me, buddy .” You wiped away a tear and patted his hand one last time before standing up and leaving the room.

Walking down the hall, John crossed your path. He barely greeted you, just grabbed your arm and growled, “I want you in my office in ten minutes.” You abandoned any plans you had and started preparing yourself mentally for the day you thought you might be fired. You walked to his office and waited for him. The smell of cigars, usually comforting and even relaxing, was suffocating today. You were sweating profusely until he entered. His cold eyes met yours.

“You know why I called you here.” His voice sounded strange, a tone he had never used with you—only with other soldiers—the bad-captain tone.

“I think so, sir.” His fist slammed on the desk, making you jump in your place.

“You went into a building full of enemies to look for two of your teammates, without backup, disobeying every order given to you!” He raised his voice as he grew more exasperated. “You were supposed to wait for reinforcements, and you didn’t!”

You stayed there with your head down and hands behind your back. “Sir… I understand your concern, but you know Gaz and Ghost needed to be found at that moment.” You lifted your gaze to meet his eyes. “I know what I did was wrong and risky, but they could have died if we had waited any longer to go in. I made the decision I thought was best for the team.”

He just shook his head and stepped closer. “You should have waited…” John wanted to shake you and yell, not because you had done something wrong, but because his body was still full of adrenaline… and fear. He had been terrified when he heard the chaos over the comms, so far from being able to help. No matter how fast he drove, it was too long. He was angry at you for putting yourself at risk, still underestimating you a little. All he wanted was to protect you, though he knew he shouldn’t think that way. Laswell had told him you were the best at this, and he had seen it with his own eyes, but he still didn’t want you—or his men—risking your lives like you did yesterday.

“What was I supposed to do, huh? Tell me, because I wasn’t going to leave them there waiting for anyone who might deign to come!” He then turned away from you, unable to bear the feeling in his chest, like a ticking time bomb about to explode.

“The building was about to collapse, and the soldiers knew it. There was almost no one left; we just had to go in and find Gaz and Ghost. So I don’t know what you’re so scared of…” You followed him around the office, raising your voice. You knew you shouldn’t speak to him like that, but you were upset because of his anger.

He turned around, furious, and shouted in your face. “I’m scared of losing you… all of you!” His eyes glistened with restrained tears. “It terrifies me to think that none of you could have made it out, knowing you could have sacrificed yourself for those two… it… it tears me apart to even think about it .”

You stood there, watching your captain—who seemed made of steel—crumble before you. Seeing him cry, you stretched your arms and wrapped him as best you could until both of you were on the floor: you consoling him, him allowing himself to be vulnerable. Your hands stroked his back until his sobs subsided. He pulled away for a moment, and your hands cupped his bearded cheeks. Your gentle, kind eyes met his.

“We’re okay now, John. We’ll be fine.”

And in that moment, he realized he was truly in love with you—your kindness, your strength, everything you represented. He stood, letting you stay on the floor, locked the door, and lifted you into his arms, carrying you to the sofa. He sat you on his lap, your head resting against his neck, trying to rest for a moment with your warm presence.

“Stay.” His breath tickled your neck. Your hands played with his hair. “I’m not going anywhere, John.”

An hour later, he was almost asleep against your neck, and you whispered from your heart: “I would go after any of you to the ends of the world if it meant keeping you safe, because that’s how I felt when I met you, I felt saved .”

A month after that incident with John, Simon had been out from the hospital, but you hadn’t seen him. You had left small gifts at his hospital door anonymously, only when no one was around. Simon hadn’t even said good morning to you since that mission, ignoring you like a plague. Kyle and Johnny told you he was probably going through a rough time, but you had seen him laughing with John when you entered his office. You let time—or some supernatural force—work things out between you and Simon, but the moment hadn’t come yet.

One night, Kyle found you at his door, crying from a nightmare. He let you in, and you curled up with him in bed. Later, Johnny returned from a mission and wanted hugs too, so he got comfortable behind you, having bathed and changed. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and the three of you slept tightly together. Simon had come in later, but upon seeing the scene, he sighed, left a kiss on Kyle’s and Johnny’s lips, and one on your head before leaving.

Two months had passed since Simon had been out , and he still hadn’t spoken to you. Today was your first mission with him after everything that happened. The helicopter ride was calm. The mission was simple: enter a Russian base, gather documents, or perhaps information about missiles sold from the United States. You were collecting papers and putting them in your backpack when your hair stood on end. Someone was there. Ghost wasn’t close, but it was too late—you were hit on the head and knocked unconscious.

Ghost continued searching for files but found nothing useful, only some documents on the Red Room, a folder with the program introduction, images, and more information about what the Black Widow program sought. Ghost frowned and heard noises in your communicator but received no response.

He ran to where you were and found you. The sight made him feel sick. You were lying on the ground, your clothes bunched around your thighs and upper body above your navel. Your underwear was still in place, but a man was on top of you, kissing your neck. Ghost approached and yanked him off, slamming him to the floor, striking him in the face repeatedly until he had a moment of clarity and turned back to you. You had a head wound that was bleeding, and your face was smeared with what appeared to be blood and semen. The man lay on the floor, groaning. Ghost felt he should kill him but decided mercy was enough and left him.

He approached you cautiously, adjusted your clothes, and felt his heart break seeing you like this. He cleaned your face with a cloth and checked your head wound. It wasn’t deep but had bled a lot, so he wrapped it with a bandage. He grabbed your backpack and carried you in his arms. Thankful the base was empty, he focused solely on getting you to safety. Outside, a truck waited. He placed you in the passenger seat. The freezing Russian air chilled him, but he kept moving, determined to get you to safety. He reported the situation to Laswell, who felt powerless and angry. Kate provided coordinates for a safe house 20 km away. Ghost drove as fast as possible through the storm.

You shift in the seat, but you still don’t wake up. He keeps his eyes on you, noticing the marks on your neck and the dried blood along your jaw. You’re not waking, but at least you’re breathing normally. When he reaches the coordinates Laswell gave him, he sees a normal house in the middle of nowhere. He carefully picks you up to get you out of the car and carries you inside, placing you on the couch before removing all his heavy gear and mask. He lights the fireplace, and that’s when you start to stir and complain. He approaches and checks your bandage.

"Lieutenant..." He touches you very gently. "Are you okay?" His voice sounds concerned, even softer than the last time he spoke to you. You look at him, confused. Your whole body hurts, but you can’t remember what happened.

"I think so… everything hurts." You try to sit up and feel the dried blood on your neck, stinging your skin. "What happened?" His gaze is different, as if he feels sorry for you.

"We got the information, right?" he nod, but he doesn’t speak.

"Simon, what’s wrong?" He swallows hard, his throat tightening.

"Someone tried to assault you." His voice barely comes out, and you go blank. That explains the pain in your chest and intimate areas. "But they didn’t… I got there before..." You place a hand on his knee, feeling like you might vomit if he continues. "Can you… take me to the bathroom?" He nods and guides you there, where, surprisingly, there are bars of soap, apparently clean towels, and a bathtub. You thank him for helping, and he says he’ll leave some clothes at the door (if he finds anything in the backpack or around the house).

Once the door closes, you take off your clothes and see the marks on your neck and stomach. Tears sting your eyes as you step into the shower. The water burns, but it doesn’t matter—you need to wash off the filth left by that man.

Simon approaches the bathroom and hears the water running, along with your sobs behind the door. The urge to enter consumes him, but he restrains himself, leaving clothes at the door and rushing off to get some food so you can eat and maybe rest through the night.

A bowl of noodle soup with canned vegetables is the best he can offer for when you come out. He leaves it on the table for when you finish the shower. Ten minutes later, he hears the water stop and the bathroom door open. You appear in the clothes he left, smelling faintly of cheap soap but clean. You sit next to him and thank him for the food, taking a few bites in silence, eyes down. Simon doesn’t touch his own food, watching you. Your small frame looks even smaller as you curl inward. After a few more spoonfuls, you stand and tell him you’re going to sleep, wishing him a good night. He finishes his food and puts yours away.

Hours pass, and he’s nearly finished a pack of cigarettes from his backpack. There’s a bottle of whiskey in the cabinet, so he pours himself a glass. He gazes out the window, where the starry night lights up the sky, the snow shining under the stars and moon, and the wind blowing hard.

He barely hears you as you get out of bed in the darkness and approach him.

"Simon..." Your voice breaks the silence of the house, making him turn quickly, worry written all over his face. Maybe your wound started bleeding again, or someone was outside—but none of that registers. Simply seeing you in an oversized shirt and equally loose pants, your face bright but flushed from the heat, stops him in his tracks.

"Are you okay?" He can barely move in your presence. He wants to turn on the light so you won’t be scared, but he fears startling you, so he freezes for you.

"You weren’t sleeping." Your voice is soft, concerned. "You need rest." You approach him, and he collapses onto the couch, eyes fixed on you. You sit beside him and watch the fireplace, the warm glow illuminating the room.

"You can sleep with me in the bed, I don’t mind sharing." He looks at you but doesn’t know what to say; no words come out, so he stays silent. Noticing his lack of response, you rest your head on his shoulder, sighing as you feel him stiffen.

"We can be silent… but together." He still wonders how you can be like this after everything. Less than 24 hours ago, you endured a terrible ordeal, yet you’re calm. You should be crying, breaking everything around you, but instead you’re sitting by his side, watching the fire as if it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

Half an hour later, you’re still in the same position, but he’s more relaxed. This is exactly what he needed but didn’t know how to ask for. He turns to you and asks, "Does your head hurt?" You lean away slightly, leaving him longing for you to rest on him again, but you replace your head on his shoulder with your hand on his knee, softly asking, "I’m okay… why were you ignoring me?"

The question breaks the comfortable silence between you. He still has his mask on, making his expressions hard to read, but his eyes are expressive enough. You can see the regret and a hint of shame, but he doesn’t answer immediately.

"If I did something wrong…"

He sighs and interrupts, "I heard you. In the hospital, the day after the mission, i was in a lot of pain and trying to sleep and you showed up ." You blink, trying to recall what you might have said to make him ignore you like a plague.

"I ignored you because I feel disgusting talking about my feelings, but I wanted to make sense of what you told me. I didn’t know how someone like… you could see me that way." His voice is low and gravelly, as if he’s tearing his soul open right now. You can see in his body language how hard it is for him, yet he continues.

"I always refused to love people to avoid getting hurt, but I didn’t want to anymore. I felt so surrounded by something strange with the whole team that I couldn’t handle it." You just watch him speak, keeping your hand warm and firm on his knee.

"That’s why I started going to the therapist. I wanted to be someone worth loving, but after I got injured, Johnny stuck to me like a tick without asking, Garrick wouldn’t let me stay up late, and Price showed me through actions that maybe I am worth it."

Your smile widens, your eyes shining. You had noticed the signs of the team’s dynamics from day one, but nothing confirmed—until recent weeks. The marks on their necks, the noises in the rooms when the barracks are silent, the glances between the four when they think no one’s watching… You’re happy for them. You’re intrigued by the dynamics and branches of their relationships, but at least they seem happy, and you know they deserve it.

Then your brain recalls his main statement—he heard you. Without saying it, you confessed that you truly saw him, like only the team had ever done, but you were the first to say it verbally. You weren’t the first with actions—these men act more than they speak—but he saw it, understood everything.

"I’m happy for you, Simon. Really." His gaze travels across your face but says nothing more; everything he needed to express, he has. He hoped it’s enough for you to understand.

"You don’t have to do anything to make someone love you… you just need to surround yourself with people brave enough to do it."

Your eyes soften as you look into his. His breath catches in his throat as he studies you. His mind can only think of how beautiful you are, how much he admires you, and wonders what you’re thinking when you look at him. Before he can continue, your hands rest on his masked cheeks, and warmth passes through the fabric.

"Can I?" Your voice came out almost as a whisper. You felt small under the gaze of his deep brown eyes, but not in a bad way—rather in a comfortable way. You wanted to see his face; you needed to, to have something to hold onto. He thought about it but finally nodded, and gently you lifted the mask over his head, revealing his face, with scars on his cheeks and a bit of paint around his eyes. You set the mask aside and looked at him again.

"Hey," you smiled without thinking.

"Hey," his voice came, and he lightly touched your leg that was resting against his. You shivered, but in the moment you whispered, "It’s okay." You leaned closer to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I like seeing your face."

Simon took the liberty of wrapping your hands around his waist and lifted you slightly to sit on his lap, which you appreciated because you needed to feel physical contact—and who better than him, who felt like a warm wall of muscle. He was attentive to all your reactions; if at any moment you showed signs of discomfort or wanted to step back, he would do so without hesitation. But the only thing he found was shyness, visible in your blushing cheeks and your hands resting on his chest, touching his pectorals.

From your position above his legs, his scent filled your nostrils, but the smell of whiskey and tobacco stirred something low in your stomach—but you managed to control it (for now). Simon’s hands wrapped around your thighs, and you buried your face in his neck to take in his scent, musky and so unmistakably his. Simon sighed at the feel of your warm breath on his neck.

"Are you comfortable, luv?"

The question made you pull back in embarrassment. You’d always had a thing for scents, but you’d never said it out loud. It had happened before, when Graves had laughed at you once, but there had been no trace of amusement on Simon’s face. He just cupped your head and drew you closer to kiss you, sharing the taste of whiskey and tobacco.

His lips enveloped yours softly, a stark contrast to the giant who looked like a tough guy. After a few minutes, you could feel him holding onto you and kissing you with intensity, but you pulled back for air, resting your forehead against his.

"If you want me to stop, tell me, and I will… I promise, love, if you say the word, I’ll stop."

But one of your hands cupped his cheek to make him look into your eyes.

"I don’t want you to stop, Simon."

That was all he needed to continue kissing you gently. His lips moved to your neck, where you hissed at the pain from the marks that remained.

"It’s okay… don’t stop, please."

Your voice was sweet but needy. He wanted to go as slowly as possible, but when he felt your hips moving against him, he murmured, "I don’t want to hurt you."

You could hear the concern in his voice, and it reminded you—flashes of that man tried to return to your mind—but you needed to distract yourself and release the energy inside you.

"You won’t… I trust you."

His heart skipped a beat for a second and then he continued his gentle assault on your neck.

your hands got into his shirt to caress his abdomen and you could feel how it stiffened and throbbing under you , that drives you to want to lower his pants and have him closer , you stood up and took off your pants letting him take off his pants along with the boxers when you returned to your position on his legs, you looked at him for a second and realized how big he was but he dug out your cheek " we will go slowly , if it is too much tell me " I look in your eyes for the answer and nodded, you stood up only to align it at your entrance , the eye contact was not broken when you felt that you stretched more than you had ever stretched, your eyes were filled with tears from the pain and he calmed you by letting you put your face on his neck again . It took you a few minutes to get down the length but when you did I congratulate you " that is so good baby , my strong girl knew that you could " kiss your tears and put his hands on your hip to hold you and let you go at your pace .

What felt like four hours was actually only an hour and a half of a moment without rush. The lust and affection were just a channel to express what neither of you had dared to say. Now, with your head resting on his chest, watching the fire in the fireplace crack the wood, his hand gently strokes the bare part of your arm.

“I feel bad.”

You lift your head to look at him.

“If you and the guys are together…”

He didn’t let you finish.

“It’s okay. They won’t be mad. Besides, I wanted this.”

He kissed your hair, inhaling your scent. In the comfort of his chest and the soft breathing you felt behind you, you fell asleep. He watched you closely, wanting every detail of you to be etched into his mind, hoping you wouldn’t have bad dreams while you were there with him.

When you all returned to the base, Johnny, Kyle, and John were waiting for you on the landing pad. Johnny ran straight to you and enveloped you both in a tight embrace. You didn’t want to break the moment, ignoring the pain from the bruises that adorned your body. Simon, however, remembered exactly where all your points of pain were and gently pushed Johnny aside, holding his hip so he couldn’t make a sad puppy face. You kissed Simon on the cheek, and when his eyes fell on the marks on your neck, you kissed him on the corner of his lips, leaving him speechless.

You greeted John and Kyle as well, but only with strong hugs, which they received with gratitude. You did the same, feeling the butterflies in your stomach fluttering faster than before.

You were writing your mission report, reaching the part where you had to explain what you had collected at the base, when you felt the small room’s door open. You turned, pointing your weapon—you weren’t going to let anyone attack you from behind again, not after what had happened. Your eyes widened with fear as you saw who had entered the room. Kyle stood at the door, hands raised.

“Hey, it’s just me.”

You sighed, lowering your weapon, hoping your heart would return to a normal rhythm and not feel like a tiger was chasing you.

“Sorry, Ky.”

You looked down, and he approached you. One of his hands caressed your hip while the other held your face.

“I missed you.”

His sweet voice filled your chest with warmth and calmed your heartbeat.

“I missed you too.”

He looked down and noticed more clearly the bruises on your neck and part of your collarbone. He ran his fingers over them, taking your breath away.

“They’re not very pretty.”

You laughed a little, but he didn’t.

“It’s okay, Kyle. Seriously.”

You took his hand in yours and pulled him close, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled with his eyes closed as you pulled away.

“Will you come home with us if we ask?”

You didn’t know what he meant, but you knew you needed a break after everything.

“I’d go with you guys to the ends of the earth,” you said softly, and he smiled.

“I’ll tell John.”

No one had prepared you to stay for a month and a half in their house—the house where the four of them had lived for six months. During the first nights, you could hear them arranging themselves to go to sleep down the hallway. One night, you joined John and Simon to sleep between them.

When you baked them cakes because they had gone to the supermarket (and to buy you a gift), Johnny accidentally kissed you, and that same night they asked if they could be your boyfriends. You were afraid of getting hurt again, but holding that fear by the hand, you said yes.

It was very rare for Simon, John, and you to go out for a walk together, but you needed it—stressful days at the office (where you didn’t want to be, but the injury to your arm kept you from returning to the field), stupid recruits who didn’t know how to show respect just because you’re a woman and think they can walk all over you. Still, it wasn’t as if, after humiliating them until they were practically begging for their mommy, you left them with anything other than fear lodged in their chest every time you passed by.

Your head was full of thoughts, and John knew it. He saw you—every time your gaze got lost on some spot on the wall, how you were quieter than usual, how you didn’t eat, and how your face looked worse each day.

You were going to go out alone, but John wouldn’t allow it. Simon read his expression, and together they took you to a mall to eat something and buy you something nice. Maybe that way they could find out what was bothering you so much, or maybe convince you to take a vacation.

You walked in silence with several bags in your hands—new clothes and some accessories. Now you needed shoes, but you’d settle for simple sneakers. Simon had your left hand wrapped in his, and John had both hands full with things to decorate the house.

“We should eat something,” John said, pointing to a small restaurant in the mall. You smiled when you saw it was your favorite place. The three of you went in and set the bags on the floor so you could sit down and look at the menu.

After a few minutes you ordered, and you stood up from the table.

“Guys, I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

They nodded with soft smiles, and you left.

As you walked, your mind was quieter than before, but you still felt an uneasy sensation in your chest. In the bathroom you fixed your hair a bit and took a deep breath. After all, you didn’t want to ruin your date with your men. When you left the bathroom, you looked at your phone, which had chimed with a notification. You were so distracted that you didn’t notice a person dressed as a giant teddy bear until you bumped into them.

Your phone fell to the floor and you gasped in surprise. The mascot grabbed its head in shock but, still in character, tried to pick up your phone—though the costume made it impossible. You laughed at the performance. Obviously you were aware there was an adult inside, but it still amused you.

“I’m so sorry, I was distracted,” you said, looking at the bear—and suddenly you recognized it. It was the same stuffed animal you had as a child, the one that accompanied you through nights full of nightmares about the Red Room, the one you hugged when the agents pretending to be your parents beat you and locked you in the basement. Your only company had been that plush toy. When Nik was undercover investigating the Red Room, he gave it to you—but you lost it when they took you away again.

Maybe it was life, a wonderful coincidence: just like when you were a child, when you were sad all you wanted was to hug your stuffed animal.

The giant plush studied your expression and opened its arms for you to hug it. You did so hesitantly. At first it was a normal hug, until you let yourself sink into it, letting a few tears slip out when it squeezed you tighter.

After a few minutes, the giant plush let go and gestured for you to wait. You looked at it, confused, but followed it with your eyes and saw it run into a toy store. You watched as it bought a plush identical to the costume, paid with a card, and ran back to you with a sign and the plush.

“Hug me whenever you need to. Never lose that light, little girl.”

When you saw it extend the plush toward you, another tear slipped out and you laughed as you took it.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go. Thank you.”

You reached for your wallet, but the plush shook its head. When it turned the sign around, you read:

“It’s a gift that came flying.”

You thanked it once more with a hug, and with your plush smelling like baby perfume, you left happy, with no weight in your chest, heading back to the restaurant where your two loves were waiting.

When you entered the restaurant, you saw them sitting there, chatting calmly—but the moment they saw you, their eyes went straight to the plush pressed against you.

“Someone gave it to me,” you said.

They looked at each other when they saw the sparkle in your eyes again, shining as if all the darkness you carried no longer weighed on you.

“You’re happy,” John said, caressing your cheek. You nodded.

Neither of them said anything else about the plush; they simply accepted that you were happy with something so soft and simple.

That night you put away everything you had bought and had dinner with Kyle and Johnny, talking about random things. Everyone noticed how renewed you seemed after your little outing. John’s phone vibrated in his pocket while everyone laughed.

—Thank you for keeping her happy.

—I hope you don’t mistrust Bob; he’s friendly.

John frowned when he saw Nik’s message and was briefly alarmed—but then he remembered seeing a small tag on the bear’s neck with a name: “Bob.” He looked back at you, and everything made sense.

**Hours earlier.**

Nikolai stood in the parking lot while the woman behind him struggled to help him with what he was doing.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, looking at him like he was crazy. “It’s like 37 degrees…”

“I’m completely sure. Now help me,” he said. He could no longer bend down to pick up the last piece of the suit that would keep him warm for a long time.

After being helped into the costume, he took the elevator and walked with the woman who would assist him in his mission.

Now all he had to do was patiently wait for his target to appear.

After two hours, the woman helping him watched from her hiding spot and thought he was a wealthy maniac. She still didn’t know what he was planning, but she hoped he wouldn’t murder anyone—Nik’s appearance suggested otherwise.

When Nik felt his mouth go dry from sweating so much inside the suit, he saw his target. He walked toward her and bumped into her to knock her to the ground—maybe with a bit too much force.

He looked at you, and his heart broke. His little girl’s light was dimmed, but the plan had to continue.

He began his act when he saw you analyzing his appearance and opened his arms to hug you. Instantly, he felt it—his little girl was there, simply needing to be little again. When he felt a small sob through the costume, he decided to move on to the next part of his mission. He saw your confused expression when he told you to wait.

He entered the toy store, where the woman who had helped him looked even more confused.

“Do you have what I gave you?” Nik asked, making sure you didn’t come closer.

She nodded and handed him the sign she had written and the plush. Nik thanked her and left the store to meet you again. He showed you the sign, already feeling sick from the heat—but seeing your face when you saw the plush made it worth it.

He held up the sign and wanted to wipe away the tears running down your face. When you took the plush, he could swear he saw you again as a six-year-old—or maybe he was delirious. Nik’s heart was happy seeing you smile and forget your problems for a moment. He knew he would burn the world just to see you smile, and he wanted you to always look for him to be little again, even if just for a while—because Dad would always be there for anything.

His heart clenched when he saw you take out your wallet to pay, but he already knew—so he showed the other side of the sign. And you left, not knowing he was behind all of it, but with your spark turned into a fire. For him, that was enough. He walked back to the parking lot, the woman following behind him.

“Who was that woman?” she asked as she hurried to remove the bear head from Nik.

“She’s my daughter.” Nik’s face was soaked and flushed, but his satisfied smile made the woman pause. “She hasn’t had a good few weeks, and I wanted to surprise her.”

“Did she know you were behind the costume?” The woman removed the rest of the suit from Nik’s body as he groaned when the air hit his sweaty skin.

“No, she didn’t know—but there was no need for her to know,” Nik sighed as he finally freed himself from the heavy suit. “I hadn’t seen her in a long time, maybe a year. She was angry with me, and I didn’t know if she’d want to see me.”

The woman watched him as he spoke. “She surely misses her dad a lot. Fix things with her.” She handed him a tissue to dry the tears on his face. “I’ve never seen a Russian cry.”

She whispered it, and Nik laughed as he finished packing everything into the van.

John was finishing the dishes when he looked toward the couch, where you were sleeping, clinging to your plush. The others were already upstairs in bed, but you had refused to leave John alone, so you waited for him on the couch with your phone. John had spoken to Nik when he found out you were with them—with your four teammates. He had promised to keep you safe and happy, but he could never compete with the love your father had for you.

He knows Nik did something wrong that hurt you, but he also knows Nik is doing everything he can to make things right, even if he doesn’t know how to apologize. We can thank—or blame—Mother Russia for that. Maybe he was learning to be more emotionally open and intelligent with his own feelings and those of others, because he would rather change everything in his life than lose his little girl again—the one who, even at 26 years old, still sleeps hugging a plush that reminds her of Papochka.