Chapter Tan

Just like that, and a new year gets ushered in. A part of me is still amazed at how quickly the latter half of 2017 flew by; and how much actually has taken place in just a span of six months.

Coming home and transitioning back to life in Singapore (for good) was one. Then our wedding. Then my sister’s wedding. And in the available calendar spaces here and there not taken up by travelling were job applications and interviews. 

I have not gone without work for such a long period of time. While it has been refreshing, I have to admit that I am glad it is ending today, this New Year’s Day! Yay! :) Tomorrow I start work again much to my many-mixed-emotions-that-cannot-be-contained-in-one-word.

But before that happens, here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. Time flies when you’re having fun.

This is not something really new and can almost be a universal truth I’d say. So to me I guess it serves as a reminder to be present and to cherish moments in life. A moment passed is one that does not come by again. 

I think it is also hitting me that I (as much as I would rather live in denial) am no longer in my 20s. And have already begun the 30s. I see it as a wiser and more mature 10 year version of the 20s. In adult-ing more and more each year, I see how my Dad and relatives are at the same time growing old. It’s a feeling I don’t really like. But such is life, and time cannot be contained. And so it is important to make the best of the time we have with loved ones, and to continually be part of each others lives, regardless of the milestones we hit or will hit.

2. Humans are funny things. 

Well, at least for me. While on my funemployment, there came a point where I got slightly worried about not being able to find a job by the new year. I was getting bored of being a so-called Taitai. That was when I learnt I’m not quite the kind of person that will be able to survive without working. And I looked forward to eventually heading back to work. 

Now that the little stint of not working is at it’s end, I am anticipating the next public holiday and even looking forward to perhaps a little travel trip away somewhere. I wonder if I am the only person who is weird this way. 

Perhaps I can safely say that humans are created for work. And also rest. To live a purposeful, balanced, healthy life, I’d say we need both. 

3. We are learning how to partner.

Towards the end of 2017 and all the festivities that came along with it, Daniel and I found ourselves hosting a little more than usual. And therefore, using our kitchen a little more than usual. 

What we have discovered is that our work styles in the kitchen are total opposites. Daniel finds any job in the kitchen a therapy and I find it a task to get done. Daniel cooks at a leisurely pace, like it’s a Jamie Oliver cookshow with ingredients all prepped first in quaint little bowls. I cook as if I had 8 arms, with more than one thing happening at the same time, without using more crockery that I would like to wash up. Daniel does not see the point of plating while I make sure food looks as great as it tastes.

With differing styles so distinct as night and day, we are definitely still learning how to partner in the kitchen. And how to make meals together. We also find ourselves pre-planning a wee bit more for the next time we host - because so far, our best dishes to serve have been aglio olio/ steak/ chicken curry... which I think most of our friends have tasted. My Dad and sisters for sure have tasted them all.

I think it is time to try our hand at some of the Peranakan dishes that Daniel’s Mom taught.

4. God is always on time. 

Again, another reminder for me lest I forget. He is never early, never late but always on time. 

Coming home without a job, I had given myself the very most six months to remain jobless. Cutting a long story short, God allowed for that to happen despite my faithlessness when by last November I had still no idea how a job would happen for 2018. 

And so here we are now, first day of 2018, with a whole new year ahead of adventures unwritten. I know it will not just be another year, another cycle. And I am excited at what 2018 will unravel and bring.

365 new days. 365 new chances. 

Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. 

I could make a list of the top five questions people ask newly married couples. Some of which I have asked my own friends after their wedding, not knowing how they must have had answered the same question endless times to different groups of people. (Sorry!)

1. How is married life? 

2. How was your honeymoon?

3. Where did you go for your honeymoon?

4. Where are you living at now?

5. When are the babies coming?

If I could sum the five questions all into one, it would be this - So, what happens after the wedding?

Well 50 days on after the wedding, life happened for us. It can get a little intimidating and frightening - the pace of which life hits you in the face immediately right after the big day. 

We had wedding bills to pay, had our honeymoon, returned home to firstborn children duties, then got separated for 12 days after being married a month, fulfilled daughter-in-law duties, got reunited again just this week, fell ill and saw the doctor, hosted friends from Shanghai, continued with the job hunt, went for interviews, continued with the job hunt... and the list goes on. 

Daniel still has to follow up on his health check-up, there will come more firstborn children duties soon especially in two days’ and both of us have a sibling each to celebrate belated birthdays with.

It has been activity after event after duty that at times I miss the freedom we had while we were dating.  Yet, not complaining about how fast and much our calendar gets filled because it simply means that we are blessed with family and friends to love and care for. It however does challenge me to learn as best to be in every moment, and not fret about what will come next or how badly I am waiting and praying for myself to go back to work. (Which I really have been restless about, since after the wedding). And, to trust in my Heavenly Father. 

Sometimes a picture snapped on the way to work in the morning became a variation of saying good morning. A picture of a cafe or beautiful scenery stumbled upon was another way of saying “wish you were here”. And in the evenings it would be photos of a home-cooked dinner from Daniel’s kitchen - probably his attempt to lure me back home for good. Haha.

Eventually back home to Singapore I returned, and for good. We got married and I thought long distance would become something of the past for us. Until three weeks into being newly weds family circumstances made way for Daniel and I to fulfil certain duties that would require us to be separated by distance, again.

In a couple of days we will be reliving the good old days of a long distance relationship. It feels so soon having only been married a month. And while I know the 12 days of being away is not as long as the time we were apart previously, I’m looking forward to being back together with Daniel again.

While Daniel holds his liquor better than I, both of us have a low tolerance of alcohol. That night my brain perhaps still swimming in the last bits of wedding fog; I decided I would help solve the problem by having half a glass. (Wrong move number 1).

The effects of alcohol hit me quick as I expected it to. And feeling good and warm inside, I felt the lull of sleep beckoning. So sleep I did, only to be awakened a few hours later by my own shivering and being sick to my stomach.

I woke Daniel up and crawled over him to get to the bathroom. I knew it was the wine and my body was not accepting it. “Help me hold my hair,” I said, bending over the sink, feeling awfully unwell. God knows what was going through Daniel’s mind then. The poor man half awake himself. Then came the fountain of puke and vile, along with the remains of my half-digested dinner. And then the sink clogged.

Now the half awake husband was fully awake, grumbling and mumbling at the disarray, cleaning up contents in the sink into the toilet. At the same exact moment, as if to punish me further, my stomach suddenly decided it needed the porcelain throne of white.

“Wait, let me flush everything down first!” Cried Daniel, desperate.

But wait, I could not. (Wrong move number 2). And when I eventually tried to flush, the john too, got clogged… and both of us watched in utter horror as the water level in the bowl rose to a point where we knew flushing it again would be a horrible disaster. And we had not yet purchased a plunger for our home.

Cutting the story short, Daniel’s quick thinking saved the day along with one of his old drumsticks which acted like a plunger. After unclogging and a second round of puking and then cleaning all over again, I wondered in embarrassment if in the course of history I had just attained the title of the most unglamorous newly-wed wife. :(

“You’ve seen the worse of me now.” I said, looking into his annoyed but still patient face.

And he said, “It’s ok, I’m sure there’s more to come.”

They say two wrongs don’t make a right. That night I made two wrongs and he made it all right. :)