c o n s e n e s c e r e ;

{uraz kaygılaroğlu, 34, agender, he/they/she} We are so glad to see you safe, ADVISOR ABDULLAH MACKENZIE of SCOTLAND! It’s dangerous out in the world these days, but I hear that you are CALCULATIVE and DEDICATED enough to handle it. Just don’t let your RECKLESSNESS bring you down! Stay on your guard, because with your secret being at risk for exposure, you wouldn’t want everyone to find out after the reckoning your heart is no longer in the rebellion.

Who: Cailean & Abdullah (@succiducus)

Their body ached, and their heart craved but one thing, to fall asleep in Abdullah’s arms. The one place where the world quieted, allowing the worries of their mind to ease enough for sleep. With a candle in one hand, Cailean traced their fingers along the wallpaper of the pitch-dark hall leading to their chamber. Would Abdullah already be in bed? Would he wake up as they entered, sleep-tousled and grumpy for being disturbed? Or would he be waiting by the warmth of the crackling fireplace? Their heart soared at the mere thought of him, regretting not leaving the meeting sooner to spend the afternoon with him. But the rebellion needed them; Scotland needed them now more than ever.

The sound of the door opening echoed in the silence of the night, causing the commander to curse under their breath in case he was already asleep. Yet, as they opened the door, they were greeted not by the inviting, sleep-tousled Abdullah. Nor was he awaiting their arrival by the fire. He seemed to be packing. With brows knitted together, Cailean closed the door behind them, shutting out the world.

with a shuddering start, his day began. shortly after breakfast, when the sun was merely a speckle on the floor of their shared quarters and cailean had left him at the door for a meeting that they had called with the band of rebels who had accompanied them to brazil, tremors shook his hands with such a ferocity that he had worried, for a moment, that he, much like the poor woman during the pre-tribunal, had been poisoned as well. the truth was far worse. to poison, there was antidote - to terror, there was only more of it. normally able to evade such troubling thoughts and actions with the quick grasp of his lover's hand or the gentle tuck of his head into their neck in feigned sleepiness, abdullah had decided not to attend the meeting himself, leaving him alone and vulnerable to his own thoughts. like demons in possession, it did not take long for his judgement to cloud, the dark heaviness in which cailean's smile or quiet grumpiness in the middle of the night could banish crept in. abdullah's breathing had been laboured, jaw clenched, stomach rolling, but the reassurances that cailean's presence promised had led him from his spot and down to where the meeting was said to be held. what he'd found was not the comfort he'd been searching for, instead, in the middle of the scottish common room, he'd overheard the latest scandal in the scottish court; their military commander had been arrested. in his already triggered state, such a comment had convinced him that such a thing meant cailean would hang, even as the person in question's voice echoes in a fond yet curious whisper from behind him; abdullah cannot think of anything else nor reason with the terrified part of his mind. his hands keep stuffing items into his rucksack, tattered from years of use, stained from accidentally sloshing wine onto it in laughter a couple of months prior when he and cailean had made up after a long time of being apart. "we're not goin' anywhere -" his words are quick, distant, had he been thinking straight, he might've known cailean could see the sweat pooling at his hairline and feel the terror in his aura. had he been able to meet their gazes, he might've realized that fact had truly been fiction "i...i'm leaving. for watching you hang for the pointless causes you have invested in might as well be doing the same act to me. only i..somehow, will be the one who suffers more. i would ask you to come with me, to avoid your arrest once more, however, i know it will be in vain, it seems that, regardless of intention or character, those aligned against the rebels will always lose...whether metaphorical or literal. i refuse to be apart of such nonsense...."

her energy was contagious. it pulls a softness over him that allows him to chuckle playfully. abdullah did not enjoy dancing as many other's did, he thought it was pointless, odd, yet here we was under his mother's orders, learning the ropes of such things (or, he supposed, putting up with it). "see," he grins. "while i am not always right, i am right about such comforts - for the sake of imagination, what book would you read? if you were not on a dance floor."

abdullah draws a breath. there had been a time in his life where conflict and chaos excited him, he might even admit to wandering far and wide to find it and involve himself without much thought of the consequences. the reckoning changed that part of him as it had changed many things for every monarchy in attendance. the ex-commander supposed the red fort, although known to them for its red stone, would, for future generations, be coloured red by the blood that had been so carelessly spilled that night. dark eyes find his sister's knuckles at first, concern grows but he speaks to another matter, one of uncharacteristic disinterest. "perhaps you can help scotland. i, however, am of the opinion that we are all on a ship that's sinking far faster that we are prepared for. the very selfish part of me wants to let it."

it was always a gamble if someone was going to ask her why she never left versailles or if they were just going to assume she was a pampered princess who dare not leave her shining castle. aurora smiled softly at the question, at how gently it was asked. “ i was not allowed. i . . “ she paused for a moment, wondering how detailed to get. “ — i ran away once, gone for a week on the streets of paris. “ aurora murmured, looking out at the waters as black as the night sky. the memories were happy, despite the consequences she faced after. “ i loved it, seeing the city and enjoying it as just another girl — the sweets, the dancing — but . . my parents did not. i was found, by the royal guards who took me back home and . . . “ she waved a hand towards nothing, “ versailles went from being home to a gilded cage in a matter of a night. “ the princess sighed, turning her head to look at him and give a soft smile. “ but — enough of my tale of woe, it’s boring anyway. “ she laughed.

“ india was lovely, i do not blame you at all for holding a place for it in your heart. “ she said with a nod, though she did not understand the rest of his words. “ — i am sorry, for whatever may have happened. perhaps someday you can return. “

although abdullah had never been locked inside of his own home for protection, he understood what it felt like to feel caged. perhaps, metaphorical 'stuckness' was lesser of two evils, paling in comparison to the physical detainment that the princess spoke to, however, they were not much different in premise, merely practice. a subtle, watery smile graces his features, he takes a breath, and in return, for her honesty, he gives her, his. "unless i wish to be jailed, that is, unfortunately not an option for me." abdullah's chuckle is bitter. "i resigned from my position as their commander not two days before the reckoning. of course, the remaining sharmas believe i did so on purpose, to leave them defenceless against the rebels. i...simply wished to leave for love, mostly, and for myself, not for such violence. however, in the chaos they found that i had forged documents to gain my position." a shrug lifts and flattens his shoulders. "they do not know that those documents were not as fake as they believed - after-all, they were using my true credentials and the name my biological parents gave me at birth. all that was a lie was my place of origin." a breath. "so unfortunately, as much as i wish your words to hold truth, if i ever find myself in india again, at least while the current sharma line survives, i will, perhaps, find myself in the prisons i used to guard - i am sorry that your parents made a mockery of your early life, however, it seems to me that you now are free to do as you please, i implore you to take it and run with it."

Leonor stood at the edge of the grand ballroom, the enchanting music of the Mysteries of Osiris Gala pulling her in with its hypnotic rhythm. The chandeliers cast a golden glow on the elegantly dressed couples who moved like a sea of swirling colors across the dance floor. She felt a yearning deep within her to join them, to become part of the living.

" i know, " she said with a laugh. " it very much is boring of me , but . . . i suppose it's different when you've only known the same walls all your life. i find wonder and excitement rather easily. " aurora mused softly. france was as much of a stranger to her as the rest of the world was, and she wanted to see the beauty of it — and everywhere else.

the princess nodded her head, " close, the one to india was my first. this is my third. this last year and some months has been my first time out of versailles in . . . fourteen years. " aurora sighed. " have you been many places? where was your favorite? "

abdullah's nod is merely sympathetic. under different circumstances, he might've felt empathy for her situation, however, as mightily as his attempts to steer clear of his home had been, he'd always wished never to have to leave it behind. the ex-commander wondered if that was simply due to scotland being home or if home truly resided in the arms of a certain commander "why is that?" he asks quietly, hoping not to overstep boundaries or offend her in any way. "i've traveled a bit." a shrug moves his shoulders. "everywhere i found myself, i felt the same sort of wonder but never did a place feel like home except for one - india holds a special place in my heart, even if it's heart no longer beats for me..."

They needed to think straight. Ever since Kaiden, the damn fool, was arrested, Cailean had been walking on a tightrope, waiting for the moment eyes of suspicion would turn to them. One wrong move, and they would be thrust into the whirlwind of accusations of being involved in the Reckoning, and what would that mean for Abby? Would he be dragged into it as well? If they knew what Cailean had to witness during the Reckoning, they would never accuse them of having anything to do with it. After that night, they swore they would never do anything which might hurt Abdullah; yet here they were once again. They needed to think straight, but their mind was clouded, swimming with the undeniable need to have Abdullah even closer to them.

Their fingers curled around the soft fabric of his shirt, using it to pull him closer until his chest was against theirs. Their breath hitched in their throat when their lips brushed against Abby’s. “Desire…” Their voice trailed off, their mind on nothing but Abby’s lips, his touch, his breath brushing against their skin. They would never be able to think straight while he’s near them. All too suddenly, they were thrust back into reality when the door creaked open. Their heart broke as they instinctively pushed Abby away. They didn’t want to hide him. They wanted to tell every single soul in the damn world that they had been lucky enough to find the person who made them feel alive, but they couldn’t. Not after what happened during the Reckoning. Cailean cleared their throat when a young soldier peeked through the door, face pale. For a moment, they worried he had seen them, but they quickly realized he was merely a young soldier terrified of interrupting their private meeting. “Give us a moment, please.” While Malcolm would have hastily scolded the poor lad for interrupting them, Cailean’s voice was gentle, as if they were speaking to a friend.

abdullah loses all sense of their surroundings, simply focusing on the warmth of cailean's breath and their close proximity to one another. beautiful in candlelight; illuminated by the morning sun; vibrant when no eyes were on them, in every moment, cailean rendered him speechless. the ex-commander hums, snaking arms around the other's waist to pull them closer - he feels his entire system flood with a sense of relief, safety, and most importantly, love, as their embrace continues. cailean's rough shove sends an anticipatory shiver down his spine but their voice in command on the air confuses him. his open eyes flit from cailean toward the slightly cracked door where he could see the curl of fingers on the frame of it. abdullah's sigh is long, exasperated, hinting at the frustration that was now built in his stomach. "i'll kill him." he says through gritted teeth, unserious in his threats yet partially the opposite and the look in brown hues wild and chaotic. however, cailean's worry issues a roll of eyes and a move to close the distance between them again, this time, the heat of their moment gone and replaced with underlying care.