m

The room is dim. Myki is finishing taking off her makeup. Nini sits up in her twin bed, watching her. She takes in the way Myki looks. Bare faced. Softer. Even more beautiful than she was at the party. Nini’s sweats sit low on Myki’s hips.

Myki clicks the lid of her moisturiser closed. She walks over and pulls back the covers, quickly settling next to Nini.

“Hi.” She smiles, her eyes gleaming.

“Hi.” Nini parrots, laying down after clicking off her bedside lamp.

The darkness envelops the room. She feels Myki press her cold feet against her bare shins. Nini pushes her away with a laugh. Myki shifts next to her, and Nini can feel her looking.

They lay face to face for a second in silence. The late night traffic buzzes outside. A car alarm sounds. It’s so familiar. Nini doesn’t know when the closeness started. Or if it ever really had a start. Whether they had just always been like this. The ease of late night conversations. Always in the same bed. In each other's clothes. Each other's space. Nini would never let anyone else this close to her.

Myki links their legs together. The soft fabric warms Nini’s bare legs.

“Are you nervous for next year?” Myki says, voice low. Not in a way that suggests that she’s scared. The question weighs heavy, Nini has to take in a harsh breath.

“Yeah, a little. I guess.”

An understatement. She’s petrified. It’s all she can think about. She hates that everything will change. That it will never be like this again. That she will be stuck in her childhood bedroom. One direction posters still up. Dresser with her gymnastics trophies lined up. Twin bed that barely fits two people in comfortably. But this time she won’t have that problem. If you could even call it a problem. Because Myki won’t be there.

“I’m scared.” Myki says, reaching for Nini’s hand under the covers.

“Oh.”

“I know I have shows lined up. And an apartment chosen, a great agent.” She says. “But what if I get there, and they realise I'm not that special. Or I mess up once and ruin my career before it even starts”

She’s rambling. Nini squeezes her hand three times. I love you.

“That won’t happen.” It’s the one thing Nini is sure of. “You are an incredible performer. Everyone will love you.”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Myki says breathily. She moves closer, laying her head on Nini's chest. She strokes her fingers through Myki’s long dark hair. It’s just as soft as she thought it would be.

“I’ll miss you too.”

Myki is silent for a while, and Nini had begun to think that she had fallen asleep. Her breathing is slow, heavy.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“To New York.” Myki clarifies. “I’m sure they have loads of engineering jobs there.”

“Myki.” Nini frowns.

“I’m serious.” Nini knows she is. But know that she would only hold Myki back. Myki will be so much happier in New York. Thousands of beautiful girls to date. She will be so successful.

Myki squeezes her hand back. Nini knows she needs to respond. She can’t find the words to. No matter how much she would love to follow Myki to New York.

Nini would have to deal with seeing her in the newspapers. Or plastered on her instagram. She would have a huge fan base, of teenage lesbians ready to drop everything to defend her. She will support her from afar. Happy with a once a year birthday message. To support her from the comfort of their small hometown. Safe and predictable. Everything that Myki is not.

She feels Myki sigh. A deep exhale of breath. Before she falls asleep. Soft snores, their hands still linked.