ArtistDude

Original:charlestonchurchmassacre Romantic life:

Certainly, Dylann is embarrassed when the topic of dating is raised. In his evaluation, he declined to answer questions about dating relationships, saying “I can’t talk about it.” When asked why, he explained “I can’t say. It would give a hint at it.”

A coworker told the social historian that Dylann laughed like it was impossible when the topic of getting a girlfriend was mentioned. Dylann gave his “strange grin” and stopped talking as if embarrassed.

Testimony

According to his mother, Dylann said he was never going to get married and no girl would ever date him. His mother said to the social historian that she does not think that Dylann has ever had sex with anyone. She does not know if he has kissed a girl. She said he was highly embarrassed about the topic and if she even tried to ask him about sex, he would say that a mother should not even say the word “sex” in front of her son. When his mother did discuss sex, Dylann “clammed up”, left the room, and said “mom” in an exasperated tone.  

However Joseph Meek, a former friend of Dylann, with whom he reconnected just weeks before the shooting, told the FBI that he did showed interest in girls since middle school. 

“Joey recalled that Dylann talked and asked about two Mexican girls that lived in the neighborhood. He said one of the girls was hot and that he had a crush on one of them.” He also stated that Dylann told him that he had sex with a black girl in Eastover.

He declared that Dylann was “attracted to a black girl who was a dancer in the club [Platinum Plus] and that he wanted to talk to her, but never did.

Joey described Dylann as being someone who would talk to girls, but never wanted to ask them out.”  

When he was asked about Dylann’s behavior inside the club he said that Dylann “liked a light skinned black girl who was small or average build. Dylann wanted a dance from her, but she didn’t go up to him. Dylann didn’t have the courage to go up to her.”

Lindsey Fry, Meek’s former girlfriend remembers Dylann putting money on the stage to get the black dancers attention: “ So they would come over and dance in front of him.” 

Another former friend of Dylann, Laura P. said that she only recalls Dylann having one girlfriend, during the 8th grade or 9th grade. 

Dylann’s attorneys also reported an odd behavior during the jury selection of his federal trial. Indeed he expressed concern regarding a young lady, described as “attractive" who was being interviewed as a potential juror. According to them Dylann didn’t want her to be selected because it would “increase his anxiety.” He reportedly expressed in a “loud whisper” his outrage and stated that it would “bother him every single day of the trial to know that she is sitting in the jury box looking at him.”

When asking about his relationship and sexual history, Dylann suddenly stopped speaking, turned his head sideways and made a grimacing face. When asked by the examiner if he was o.k., he stated in a strained voice that “I can’t talk right now.” After this episode concluded (~ 1. minutes) he reported that he has “pathological blushing” and that during this episode he felt very hot and uncomfortable. It was notable that no reddening or blushing was evident to the examiner during this time. He refused to speak further about the topics that he felt triggered this episode.

While it is not necessarily unusual for a man in his early 20s to decline to talk about sex with his mother, it is odd that someone Dylann’s age had no known romantic partners at all. This may point to asexuality, which is thought to occur in only 0.5-1% of the population, but may also suggest a lack of social skills required for effective dating, or a diffuse sexual identity.

Sexual Orientation 

Several people who were interviewed stated that they were unclear about Dylann’s sexual orientation.

Dylann’s sister, Amber, in one interview said she thought he might be gay and, in another interview suggested he might be asexual. Amber noted that their father always “wanted Dylann to be more sporty” and “be a boy.”

Reverend Metze, said that Dylann was “not normal” and possibly struggling with his sexuality.

His former stepmother, Paige Mann, described him as “always different” but said she assumed he seemed odd “because he was gay.”

Journals

In the journal his wrote before his arrest on June 18, 2015,  Dylann stated: “One of my only regrets is that I was never able to fall in love.” 

In the journal he wrote while awaiting his trial in the Charleston jail, he talked more about his desires to have a family:  “I don’t have a child but I wish I did and I regret not being able to before I did what I did. I can only imagine the love a parent must feel for their children, especially when young.” And further “I would have love to adopt a white child if I had the means.”

Sources: Psychological Evaluation - Joseph Meek interviews with the FBI - Neuropsychological Evaluation - Attorney’s Declarations - Dylann’s journals