haunting me

Oh absolutely. Saying I love my job would be an understatement, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life. Oh yes, excuse my language but fuck paper work. I’m so glad that now I have other people that do most of it for me.

That's so great. A lot of people don't like their jobs and I always think it's so important that you do. I think that's everyone's general feeling on paper work, it's a pain. That must be nice, I need someone to do that for me.

Okay, wait. First of all, it’s not impossible and you’re on the easy part.

Not for you smarty pants.

It can be dreadful at times especially when I have to be polite to everyone not matter how ridiculous they are, but I love it all the same. Wow, that sounds interesting to say the least. I am sure you are never bored. 

Loving it would make it worth it though, right? If you didn't love it, it would get a whole lot more tedious. It's certainly something. I think only the paperwork makes it boring. 

Okay! Balloon Animals then! -laughs and applied the bandaid to the cut; Yeah, I have seen some crazy gruesome stuff, but that’s all apart of the joy of being a healer. However, by crazy I meant the people who come in here swearing up and down they are about to die or they have some weird symptoms when it’s something minor. Oh, what do you do? I would guess but I hate being wrong.

Ah, thank you. That feels better already. And that would be why you're a healer and I am not. That must be dreadful. I bet they've all just got a cold or something very non-dramatic. I'm an unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries so there is a lot of guessing when it comes to my job.

Band- aid it is. I figure you’ll probably be wanting the skin tone kind instead of the ones with balloon animals? And don’t worry about it, you would be surprised at what my definition of a waste of time is. The things that people tell me are absolutely crazy.

Oh I'll totally take the one with balloon animals, please. It's more festive that way. I can only imagine. I've seen some pretty strange curses and jinxes go wrong so you must see some crazy stuff. It's probably about as crazy as people's guesses for what I do.

I wouldn’t say it’s too bad, it’s just a surface cut after all, but a band aid will stop it from possibly getting infected.

I guess a bandaid is the best choice then. I've never been a fan of solvent, it makes my skin go red. I can't believe I managed to cut myself. I'm sorry, this is probably such a waste of your time.

I asked if you wanted a band-aid for that.

Oh, do you think it needs one? It's not so bad is it?

I said that you need to make sure the colours are in the right place - just because you got a full side of colours doesn’t mean that they’re in the right place. Otherwise you can’t move forwards. It might take a while.

That makes no sense. If I've gotten one side, I should be able to get the rest. These things are impossible. What do you suggest I do then?

I asked if you liked muggle school while you went? I never went earlier then fourth year so I’m not quite sure how elementary works.

Oh right, I thought you meant university. I started when I was five and went through to the sixth year before getting accepted at Hogwarts. I loved it. I know it's not the same as magic but it was still fun.

"They have opportunities we never had… trained for the slaughter." April had assumed that he had when Bailey told her she killed District 1’s male tribute. It made sense that she would only kill him unless she was defending herself, or getting revenge for a fallen tribute - things could speed up in the heat of the moment. People that were normally rational and peaceful people could fall to hysterics or turn belligerent. She didn’t blame Bailey for what she did, she would have done the same for Bradley, or Bailey. Estelle, too, if April had seen her attacker. "It doesn’t sound wrong to me," April replied, shaking her head while the water was tested. "I don’t want to kill anyone else, but if I run into her then I’ll do what I have to do to make sure we’re safe from her." At that point, April was tired of fighting with her basic instincts of survival. A part of her had wanted to shoot the District 7 boy, to shoot the District 7 girl and the girl from 10. April wanted to win, she wanted to go home and see her parents and have her mother cry because she was happy and not sad. April hated herself for wanting it so badly.

Again and again, April proved herself to be a good person. If it weren't for their circumstances, Bailey had no doubt that they could have been friends. Instead, they were stuck in a situation where one of them would be dead by the end of the week. As bad as she felt for it, Bailey hoped to god that she wouldn't have to be the person to kill April. If it came down to it, she wasn't sure she could do it. She pushed her thoughts away, choosing to focus on their conversation instead. "I think we all do what we have to when the situation happens. I sort of hope she finishes herself off." Bailey knew it was unlikely though. Gamemakers loved a ruthless killer and it seemed Adrianna was proving to be the best one they had. "Or maybe some mutts will. Although I haven't seen any." The distinct lack of mutts was disturbing but Bailey guessed there was always time for them.

The male tribute from District 1? April frowned. “So we ran into each of them… I hate to say it, but she’s a threat, and I wish I took her out when I did.” Woah. That didn’t sound like her, but something was bugging April. The girl from that district was different from the others. April and Bailey felt when they even thought they killed somebody, but she had been calling out for April when she knelt in the bushes like a cat playing with a mouse. It was wrong, and April knew the girl would hurt others. She had a chance to stop it, and she didn’t. “She’s only going to hurt more people. And from my experience, the deaths wouldn’t exactly be quick and painless.” She didn’t want Bailey to think that she had a sudden change of heart concerning killing people, April still didn’t like the idea of it, but to protect others from pain she would do what she had to do. “Luckily I noticed she had a few injuries, none serious, but it must be making her angry that she’s been hurt.”

Bailey knew how bad it sounded but she didn't blame April. Those were the tributes that were the biggest risk. "It's okay. We can work together if she attacks us." It seemed like April's experience with the tribute hadn't been a pleasant one either and Bailey could understand. "It's like they're trained to hunt. He killed Dean." She said, quietly looking down at her bow. She knew that didn't make what she had done right but it was why she had killed him. The situation had come down to a life or death moment and she had picked to live. Mostly she had acted on instinct but it didn't make her feel any better about it. "I know this sounds wrong but I don't want to bump into her. I don't want to have to kill someone else." It was terrible to even think about and even though what she said was true, if it came down to it, she would shoot to kill again so that they could survive.

The sob Bailey let out caused April to stop walking, and she looked back at the taller blonde with sympathy, not sure of what she could say in such a situation. She had felt the feeling when she thought she had killed the District 1 girl, but knowing with crushing certainty that you had killed someone had to be much more pressing, especially when one felt their humanity and acted with kindest as much as possible, like April believed Bailey did. “I know.” She said, pressing a hand gently on Bailey’s shoulder and squeezing it lightly. April wanted her to know that she wasn’t judging her for it, or that it made her any less of a person. “It isn’t, and I don’t think you’ll ever forget it, but we have to push through these moments if we want to survive.” She dropped her hand from the girls shoulder and looked at her with a firm resolution. “When one of us wins we’ll have the rest of our lives to remember what’s happening now, to look behind us. But in here all we can do is look ahead and keep moving. Live or die.”

April's hand on her shoulder brought her more comfort than she thought was possible. Some of the tightness left her chest but that dread still sat heavily on her shoulders. She knew April was right, there was no way that Bailey would ever be able to forgot it. It was burned into the back of her eyelids and no matter how many times she blinked, the image didn't dull. It probably never would and that scared her even more. Bailey nodded her head slowly, feeling like she could at least carry on. April was right, there was no point in dwelling on it now, they had a long way to go if they were going to get close to winning. With new resolve, Bailey straightened herself up. "It was the tribute from District One. I think that means the girl tribute is going to hate us both with a passion." It felt like she should warn April now because there was bound to be repercussions in the future, for both of them.

If anything, April knew how Bailey felt. It was different losing a district partner, surely, but she had also lost Estelle. April had never really known anyone that died, it was a first. Especially since she and Bradley had stumbled upon her body and had to loot her of her things before her body was taken away. April had cried after she did it, unable to get the cool feel of her skin out of her mind. She smiled lightly when Bailey agreed to be allies. “That’s great. I’ve been making a poison to dip my arrows in and I can do the same for yours, if you want?” April felt good having something to do, having a plan. “I mean, after we find some water that is.” When Bailey mentioned having blood in her hair, she briefly wondered how she got injured, or if it was even her blood, but April decided not to ask. She had her own memories that she didn’t want to recount - or maybe it would help talking about what she had been through. April decided on the latter, if only because they probably had a limited amount of time together as it was and lying felt wrong when you were trusting your life to somebody.

"You can make poison?" Bailey asked, curiously. She hadn't even thought of that as an option, although she hadn't thought of killing anyone at all. Most of the plant life she had paid attention to were the edible ones so she wouldn't make a mistake. "You can show me once we get some water and we're safe with Bradley." She said, nodding her head. Saying that they would be safe felt like a lie, but within their alliance that was as safe as they would get. Bailey froze for just a step. Of course April hadn't killed anyone, they had spoken about how they didn't want the games to change them when they were training. It was nice to hear that April hadn't changed and it made Bailey sick to know that she had. She had acted of instinct when she shot the Tribute from District One but it didn't make her feel any better about it.

Swinging her crossbow over her back, April stepped closer towards Bailey, smiling. “Yeah, it’s me. It’s so good to see you.” She thought for a moment of when the faces had flashed across the nights sky, Bailey’s district partner had been among them. “I’m sorry, about your partner.” It felt like the right thing to say, even though everything told her she was supposed to be happy about it. One more down. But she couldn’t bring herself to think in terms of who was standing between her and living. It was wrong, and it reminded her of Estelle and how she, too, had died in order for her to go on. It was all meaningless, everything about the games was. Being in them. She thought of the District 8 boy and thought for once that she didn’t think he was a fool. At least he stuck to what he knew about himself; he didn’t let the games change him. Not like how she was.

Bailey dropped the bow to her side completely, knowing that April was a friend and wouldn't shoot her. She smiled, returning the sentiment. "It's really good to see you. I've been... I was watching the sky and I'm glad you weren't up there." Her stomach dropped, remembering that who she had seen in the sky already that night. She nodded sadly at the mention of Dean. What could she say? Thanks seemed like the wrong sentiment and she still didn't know how she felt about it, other than sad. It was meant to be a good thing. It was another chance for her to survive but it was just sad. If Bailey returned home, she would have to face Dean's parents and see his family and that just hurt more than she'd like to think about.