🖤🪴🌶

31BCE

“Az?”

Drip. Drip.

“Azriel?”

The cells felt darker today. More dangerous. Noelle felt uneasy as she made her way down the familiar path to Azriel’s cell, trying to avoid the cold, damp stone walls from touching her soft skin.

For the past two years, Noelle had been coming down to visit Azriel all alone, giving him food, blankets and good company. She told him fantastical stories of the world above and he offered up some gruesome ones of his one. Stories of Kraven and Matteo coming down for nothing else but to torture him with their words, stories of Lord Tobias, who she no longer considered her father, giving the orders for the guards to unleash their cruelties onto the small boy, stories she would not have believed if it were not of the proof right in front of her eyes.

The rest of the noble Illyrian family were away making their appearances to the surrounding camps. Noelle had insisted she was too ill to travel and convinced Lady Thera to let her stay in bed. The lady had seemed unconvinced but still followed her husband and boys, stopping to Noelle’s bedside with a quick kiss to the forehead and promising to be home before supper.

Her entire family had been a lie and she hated them all. Sometimes Noelle liked to dream about what her life would be like if her true mother had never died and her real father was around. It was useless thinking and only made her angry.

As she moved through the darkness, she could sense she was getting closer, the insistent tug in her chest always leading her directly to him.

“Az,” she tried again, frustrated at the lack of reply, “I swear, if you’re ignoring me again I’ll-”, Noelle halted suddenly as a wall of thick, hissing shadows, rose above her, her lips parted slightly as she took a tentative step back. The shadows took up the entire space of the corridor from floor to ceiling and slinked around one another like snakes in a cage.

Brows furrowing, Noelle reached her hand out slowly, as if to not scare them, and pushed her hand through the black mass. As soon as her fingers made contact, the shadows jerked back. She drew her hand away. Interesting indeed.

Inhaling deeply, and squeezing her eyes together hard, Noelle stepped her entire body through the shadowy wall. The change was felt almost immediately. It became achingly cold, and deafenly silent. She could sense the shadows around her, not touching, but close enough to feel the ripple in the air as they twirled.

One tentative step at a time lead her to the beginnings of her friend’s cell, “Azriel?” she whispered, raising her hands to grasp onto the strong metal bars of the cage, “where-”. She sucked in a breath as another pair of small hands wrapped around her own, violet eyes locking onto Azriel’s as he stood on the other side. “Ellie?” he asked softly, resting his head on the bar closest to her own.

“Oh Az,” she breathed, readjusting her grip on him as she noticed his damp cheeks and red eyes, “what did they do this time?” The boy in front of her shook his head, eyes clamping shut. It wouldn’t be easy to get him to tell her how he was feeling, although it never was. Over the past two years, Noelle had been able to find out quite a bit more about Lord Tobias’ secret affair child.

Number one. He loves moon flowers.

“Really?!”, she remembered saying, laughing slightly at the absurdity of it all, “but I thought you’ve never left this place. How in the mothers name do you know-” He cut her off silently, gesturing to the miniature window above him, “They bloom once a year right up there,” the window rested at ground level and was covered by Thera herself, who had planted an array of extravagant plants to hide the evils that lay beneath her home, “once, they came through the wards and said hello to me.”

Noelle later found out that his mother had taught him all this when she came to visit once and claimed that the night they bloomed fell on his birthday. Every single year. The moonflower was his mothers favourite so naturally he claimed them for himself as well, something they could share.

Number two. The shadows could speak to him.

A year into their daily meetings lead by Noelle, Azriel had confessed to her that the shadows of his cell had started to whisper things to him. He explained they only used to sing him lullabies at night when he was younger, but now it seemed he was beginning to understand them. He had Noelle convinced that the lack of daylight had done some permanent mental damage and he had offically gone insane, yet her curiosity won her over and she began her own research on ‘speaking shadows’.

As a noble lady of the Blackwell household in Illyria, she had private tutors and handmaids at her disposal. And although it was near damning if an Illyrian woman received an education on anything other than childbearing and motherhood, the servants usually turned a blind eye if they saw her wandering towards the manor’s library.

Number three. His mother was his whole world.

Noelle knew she visited Az once a week in his cell, and that the guards always only unlocked it for her to go in, not Az to come out. Noelle herself had never seen the female but based on the stories Azriel had whispered to her through the cell bars, she desperately wanted to.

Like clockwork, every Wednesday morning, security around and inside the manor would grow, subtly signifying her weekly visit was in session. They only ever had an hour together at most, and so when the extra Illyrian warriors had not appeared in her home this morning, Noelle began to grow suspicious. Maybe Azriel’s mother had not come today.

“Your mum,” she started slowly, “she comes down here to see you, yes?” Azriel nodded, his head lowering to the ground.

“Did she,” Noelle cocked her head to the side, trying to catch the boy’s eyes, “not come today?”

“No.”

She squeezed his hands and he finally looked up at her, “They told me no.” His eyes hardened in anger, and Noelle’s heart ached for him. His entire existence being controlled by the Blackwell’s was cruel enough, for them to refuse the one part they knew he found happiness in, well, it was utterly barbaric.

“Well.. would you like to do something with me today?” she asked, sticking her face as close to his as she could with the bars separating them, he hummed, a yes then.

“I’ve been preparing something for us,” she told him excitedly, “for weeks! Think of it as a distraction from earlier” Azriel’s brows rose apprehensively, Noelle grinned and rolled her eyes at him, “I swear, trust me.” Sighing quietly, he nodded as if he knew he had no choice anyway, how could he ever refuse her anything?

Noelle stepped back and broke away from him, “So, you know how I’ve been training my magic with Miss Cordelia?” Azriel’s head dipped once in answer, “And you also know how in order to get you out of the cell we would need to unlock the wards?” His head nodded again, “Well Azzy, I have figured it out!” The expression stuck on his face seemed to say, what are you talking about crazy girl? Letting out a dramatic sigh of exasperation, Noelle closed her eyes and held her hands up to the cell door, “Let me show you then”.

Light, pure light, slowly poured out of Noelle’s outstretched hands and curled around the oval lock on the cell door. The door itself began thumbing like a heartbeat, slowly become entirely encapsulated by Noelle’s magic.

The young Illyrian girl began to sweat in effort, these wards were hard to unlock for a reason, but her magic had grown so much over the past few years that she knew it was only a matter of time before..

The door swung open.

For the first time, there was nothing separating Azriel and Noelle from barreling into each other and holding on tightly.

Azriel was laughing joyously in her arms, “I can’t believe- how did-,” she giggled in response to his blubbering, “I told you, now come on!” Noelle broke away, tugging him along the cell corridor, hand in hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pair had successfully made it out of the cells through the secret entrance which connected her room to the dungeons and outdoors. Before she and Azriel had met, she used the secret passage to sneak extra playtime with herself in the snow.

Standing together in the semi-darkness, she quietly led him over to the door which would take them outside. She could feel Azriel’s hazel eyes trained on the stone door before them.

She raised one eyebrow cheekily, “You wanna go out there?” His head whipped towards hers so suddenly, and she laughed at his disbeliving expression, as if he had just been told the greatest news of his life, which she guessed he probably just had.

“It’s still sort of green outside,” she explained reaching to open the door, “but father- Lord Tobias told me the first snow of the season is due today! Just like when I first met you.” She tugged it open with one final pull and a gust of wind blew in to meet them. The smell of fresh grass and winter chill refreshed her senses after being below ground for so long.

Turning to look at her best friend beside her, she tracked the tears that ran silently down his cheeks. Swallowing harshly he finally looked at her, “Thank you.”

She smiled up at him, even though she was a year older, at just six years old Azriel still stood over her.

Walking outside alone, Noelle gestured for Az to follow. The Illyrian boy looked down suspiciously at the green below him, “It’s grass,” Noelle confirmed for him as he nodded absentmindedly, finally taking a small step towards the girl with long white hair.

Azriel stood still for a moment, barefooted in the soil and grass, toes wiggling around. He let out a shy giggle, “Just like I dreamed they be,” she nodded enthusiastically, beckoning him closer with her outstretched hand, “the winter breeze,” he breathed in deeply, looking up in wonder, “the way it’s calling me.” Noelle saw his wings twitch in answer, and she wondered how painful it was to ignore his own instinct to fly.

Tobias had restricted her own flying practices since she was female up until she was five. When she started to get curious around the age of three, he ordered her handmaidens to tie them up with thick rope everyday. It was only forgone last year because Thera had finally put her foot down on the matter.

“She’s still an Illyrian,” she had said angrily, “and she is still our daughter.” Tobias had scoffed at that but eventually agreed to appease his wife.

Since then, she had started gliding off of high surfaces and perfecting her landing. Some of her personal guards even took her flying with them on the rare occasion they needed to stretch their own wings, holding her under her arms and allowing her to glide along beside them. However they were nearly always caught since her wings were very recognisable. White in colour, it was hard to miss when she flew across the sky.

She used to ask Thera when she was very young where her wings had come from, she always replied with, “Your mother’s goodness and light now resides inside of you, and your wings.” She always used to laugh at that, “Mama,” she would giggle, clasping Thera’s hands, “thats just not true!”

She shook her head away from the memory.

“Walk with me?” Azriel asked, now standing beside her.

“Always.”

The pair ended up sitting atop the thick branch of an ancient tree that surrounded the manor, just out of reach from any prying eyes. White wings next to black wings.

Their feet swayed back and forth as they spoke, “You know your my best friend, right Az?”

The boys head turned to face her as a shy grin spread across his face, “Well, you’re my best friend too.”

She tsked at him shaking her head slightly, “But you don’t know many other people, when you get out of here, someone else will replace me.”

“That won’t happen Ellie.”

Azriel was very serious for a six year old and the tone in his voice made Noelle laugh, “No one calls me that,” bumping her shoulder against his playfully, a knowing grin spread further across her face. She caught Azriel’s eye right before he bashfully looked down at the ground, studying the moss on the floor rather intensely.

“Sorry.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, I love it. Truely.”

They sat in comfortable silence, Azriel zipping his gaze about to try imprint everything in sight within his memory. Noelle studied him as he did so, the familiar tug in her chest pushing her to get closer. Flicking her eyes to his absent gaze once more, she sighed. Noelle had heard of a near by camp, Windhaven, which the Lady of Night frequently visited with her young son. Every description of the Night Courts Lady seemed to hold the idea that she was kind, generous and progressive for Illyrian standards. If Noelle could get to her, maybe she could get Azriel out of his cell forever.

She would make the travel for any chance Azriel would be safe from his father forever.

“Thank you Noelle,” Azriel whispered, “For the first time ever, I feel completely free.”

She flung herself at him for the second time that day before he had the chance to protest, squeezing tightly.

He squeezed back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours had passed since the young shadow singer and light wielder had stepped outside early this morning. It had started to snow as they played and chased eachother around the manor grounds, giggling and laughing freely.

Azriel’s feet were becoming more and more frostbitten by the minute as he didn’t own a pair of shoes himself, but Noelle bounded ahead freely. If Azriel hadn’t known for certain they were in Illyria, he would have thought that she was the princess of the Winter Court from one of Noelle’s extravegant novels she retold rather animatedly to him.

He watched as she raised her head to the sky to let the snow flakes fall on her pale skin and platinum curls. He tracked the frost as it landed on her sharp nose, melting softly into her.

She danced gracefully, as she always was, but seeing her above ground in the daylight made her look ethereal. The familiar thread connecting himself to his companion glowed brightly in recognition of the young Illyrian’s thoughts.

He was so entraptured with her, Azriel hadn’t heard the ugly stomping of his half-brothers boots behind him, getting closer, and closer.

“Now what do we have here?”

Azriel froze and Noelle blanched at the bulky figure behind him.

The two locked eyes and Noelle shook her head slightly in his direction.

Do not turn around.

“Matteo, please.”

The voice that taunted Azriel’s nightmares laughed cruelly, “Stupid girl.”

Azriel felt the wind shift and Matteo launched himself into the air, soaring high, no doubt running off to tell Lord Tobias of his findings.

“Azriel,” Noelle turned to him stoicly, “get back to the hidden door and into you’re cell. You have never been outside. You do not know me. I do not know you. Got it?” He nodded, though her words created a deep hole in his chest.

“Good-bye Ellie” he whispered moving to turn away,

“Bye-bye Azzy” she sniffled back.

Then he ran.

Through the snow covered trees and frosted ground, atop frozen lakes and icy blades of grass, into the dark stone corridors he grew to know all too well as he pushed open the hidden stone door, deeper and deeper into the dungeons of the manor. Letting his shadows show him the way, Azriel pumped his straining legs faster, but it hurt so much, he had never run before today.

Reaching the entrance of his cell, he quickly scampered inside, shut the gate and watched as the wards reworked themselves over the metal. Slumping heavily against the stone wall, Azriel slide down in exhaustion.

His own heavy pants were all he could hear, heart pounding so hard, he could feel it vibrate into his finger tips.

He sat dazed as guards rushed down to check on him, didn’t move until they left. His head did whip upright as the sound of faint voices cascaded from his cell window, whispers being carried down to him from the wind.

“Your wings, or him.” His father.

“What?” Noelle.

He scrambled to stand at the sound of his friend. No, not her.

“You heard me girl. Your wings,” a pause, “or the bastard.”

No

“I still do not know who it is you speak of.”

All he heard next was a harsh slap and a child-like squeak before silence over took.

It was silent for a long while after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

33BCE:

“Why do you never listen insolent girl?” her governess spat, sharp fingernails dug into Noelle’s pale arm as she was dragged further and further away from the falling snow outside. She could still just make out the figures of her elder brothers, Kraven and Matteo, play-fighting through the frosted window, their dark features standing out against the snow dancing around them as the circled each other, wings glowing as the setting rays of sun shone through the membrane. Scrambling to find purchase along the stone walls of her Vornhale manor, the five year old continued to thrash in the older Illyrians hold.

“Please Mistress Cordelia,” she begged, boots kicking at the stone floor as they reached the stair case which led to the manor’s sleeping quarters and the study of the Illyrian Lord of Vornhale, her father. As a very traditional, respected male within the settlement, Tobias Blackwell took his position as “Lord” with the upmost seriousness. Although he was not her real father, he and his wife Thera had taken Noelle in as a newborn, raising her as their own after her mother had died in childbirth and her father was never identified. Thera had been being longtime friends with Noelle’s late mother, and with a yearning for a daughter of her own after two boys, taking her in was an easy decision to make.

Reaching the top of the dark stone steps in a much calmer manner in which their showdown began, Noelle, ever the antagonist, muttered, “Stupid hag”. Her governess froze and stared for a moment then promptly grasped a fistful of Noelle’s hair, white locks tangled in the firm grip of the weathered female’s hand and promptly began to be dragged through the halls.

“Let go! Let go!” she begged, body jerking as her white Illyrian wings grazed the floor, “I’ll walk to my room myself please Cordi, oh please.” Her feet shuffled clumsily in an attempt to keep up with the fast pace she was being pulled along at, wincing as her hair was tugged relentlessly.

“Deciful child,” Cordelia seethed, “No supper for you tonight, and Lord Tobias will be informed of this beastly behaviour,” Noelle whimpered at her words, “You have no right to act this way”, she went on “after you were blessed by the cauldron to be housed with the Lord and Lady of this house.”

Her room was fast approaching, the guards, glacing at her as she passed by, beginning to light the torches along the halls as the day shifted to night, “Do you know how many Illyrian children would kill to be in your position?” she continued, still walking, “A bastard, orphaned girl with nothing to her name being bestowed with riches, food and protection at her beck and call.” A look of disdain crossed her tanned face as they made their way inside the room, “You, child, are undeserving of the mother’s blessing. Stay here until morning. Do not leave.” Turning on her heels, she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

Huffing in admission, Noelle reached up to gently touch her tender scalp, flinching away as she made contact. Focusing on the kernel of light inside of her, she closed her eyes and rested her palm atop her pale blonde hair once more. Glowing light seeped from the tips of her fingers and weaved it’s way along the parts which still hurt, dissapearing into her skin where the pain quickly began to fade, faster than her fae healing could by hours.

Sighing glumly and rolling her eyes, Noelle stalked to the head of her large bed and rested her small hand on a mismatched coloured piece of stone which only just stood out against the rest of the wall. Pushing the stone forward with some effort, a mechanism inside the wall of her bedroom clicked and a hidden door way appeared before her, she quickly entered before it shut behind her. She didn’t like to resort to leaving her room this way as it always made things much more difficult, but it seemed as though she was out of options if she wanted to play in first snow of the winter season before morning came.

Noelle was a stubborn child and found it completely unfair how her adoptive brothers were allowed to enjoy extra play time and she was deigned to be stuck looking down at them from her bedroom window woefully. Having discovered this hidden passage way a few months beforehand, it quickly became her most harboured secret. She was sure no one in the manor knew of it’s existence and Noelle intended to keep it that way, it was very useful and this was her room afterall.

It was pitch black as she followed the dark path down a winding staircase. As no one knew of the passages existence, there was no servants to light the torches along it, and Noelle herself was much to small to reach and light them herself. So instead she rested both hands upon the walls on either side of her, tucked in her wings tightly so they wouldn’t graze the stone, and slowly made her way down. The walls were cold under her touch, and slightly slimy with something she tried not to think too hard about what it could be.

She had never been down the passage after sunset. Usually pockets of light shone through cracks in the walls, but today no such light was given. She had already pushed her own magic by healing herself earlier, so producing any light herself was out of the question.

Noelle began thinking of the many snow angels she planned to make once she got outside, giggling quietly to herself as she remembered Matteo’s sorry attempt at his own, which ended up looking more like a blob than an Illyrian boy. He tried to hit her after she had laughed at him but she had doged him like always. That was when she had been called inside by her governess and Matteo had scampered off to join Kraven like nothing had happened.

The wall began to grow more frosted under her touch, and the stairway downward began to flatten, signifying she had made it to ground level. She ran her fingers along the stone as she strived along, knowing she would soon be out in the fresh winter chill, yet as she walked, she suddenly felt metal and wood on her left. Stopping out of curiosity, she turned to her side and felt about still cloaked in darkness, managing to make out a the shape of a door, a cold, metal knob and a big key hole she managed to stick her finger through and wiggle around. She had not come across this door before in her secret adventures through the passage.

A tug in her chest pulled her closer to the wooden door in front of her, and the urge to continue in that direction became so overwhelming strong, Noelle decided it would be rude to ignore it. Fumbeling around for the door knob again, she twisted it slightly, and to her surprise it opened up into yet another corridor, yet at least this one was lined brightly with torches. Staring opened eyed for a short while at her discovery, the small girl grinned and followed along, forgetting all about the snow outside.

It was the screams that gave away what this place was to Noelle first, the next was the constant sound of dripping water, but the last was the rats which scurried along in front of her dress. Jumping back in horror as a small squeak escaped her, she grimaced. This was her father’s dungeon. She had been forbidden here as it was “no place for a girl”, but she wasn’t afraid. Yet. Nodding to herself in determination, brow furrowing, fists closing tightly, she marched on following the invisible thread which tugged her though.

As she ventured on, less torches had been lit and she felt a sense of real unease for the first time, speeding up slightly in hopes she could out run whatever it was which unnerved her, until finally she was stood in front of a small cell. The cell was only about double her own height and was barred with thick metal. There was a small window, also barred, at the top left side which blew in frost and ice cold winds which explained the intense cold she now felt. Due to it’s size, she doubted that even during the day time this cell would see much light at all.

She was about to head back when a small twitch of movement caught her eye. A small boy was staring right at her, his striking hazel eyes pierced right through her violet ones and his dark hair reminded her of her brother’s, except the child infront of her looked much less groomed, dirt was raked through the matted strands and smeared across his face and body. His supposedly tanned skin seemed sickly pale and the wings she could see protruding from his back were stiff and smaller than should be normal for an Illyrian at his stature. He couldn’t be older than she was.

Noelle approached the bars to the cell, hands finding purchase on two of the poles as she leaned her small face to fit through the space. “Hello”, she whispered cautiously, “I’m Noelle, my father is the Lord of this manor, who are you?”. The boy only stared back at her quietly, observing her and pressing himself further into the wall behind him as he crouched in on himself for warmth.

Noelle glanced to the small window once more and pursed her lips, huffing slightly, “Are you cold?” Silence from the boy across from her again. Stepping away from the cell, she nodded to herself, trying to figure out how in the name of the mother herself a little boy had come to find himself in the dungeons underneath her home.

“Well then,” she started diplomatically, clasping her hands behind her back as she began to pace up and down the front of the boy’s cell, holding eye contact, “You can’t have been here for long. I think I would know if a little Illyrian boy such as yourself has been living in my manor for the past five yea-”

“Four” the boy replied so quietly, Noelle would have missed it if she were not half fae herself, “what?” She stopped and watched as he shifted himself against the wall again, as if in pain. “Azriel,” he pointed to himself with a slender fingers, “is four.”

“Oh,” Noelle breathed, “so you can talk.” The boy, Azriel, nodded once sharply, face grim.

She smiled lightly at him, “I’ve never met anyone younger than me before, what in the cauldron are you doing down here anyways?” Azriel only narrowed his eyes at her, angling his head slightly upwards, the shadows bending around him so well she could hardly see his body. Her eyes caught on the rusted keyhole of the cell door, “you must not get out very often,” she whispered cautiously, Azriel stayed silent as she continued, “have you.. ever been out?” The boy shook his head “no” in a small movement. Noelle hummed in contemplation, “Well, this must be some sort of mistake, my father would never keep a child locked up in here lik-,”

“My father,” the boy’s voice sounded again, notably more confidently this time, “is Lord. Is Tobias.”

Noelle shook her head with a laugh of exasperation, “No silly, father has only 2 sons, Kraven and Matteo.” At the sound of her brother’s names Azriel cringed and she could physically see him close off again.

“You’ve met them.” she said, not a question. A nod. More confused than ever the five year old half Illyrian, half fae child continued her pacing as her thoughts raced. This changed the perception of everything for the youngling, she knew her father had a tendency to be cruel but this? The sound of chattering guards sounded getting closer, startling her into action. Looking back at the boy again, Noelle had made up her mind.

“Ok Azriel,” his name rolled smoothly off her tongue, “I will come back and visit again soon,” Azriel just stared at her, still wary, “I promise.” She dipped her head in goodbye and raced off towards the passage which would lead her back to her bedroom before she was caught.

Maybe Azriel could be her new secret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s the first part done, hope you enjoyed! This is only the beginnings of Azriel and Noelle, their story definitely gets more interesting and will go right through from where we are now till present time in the acotar series!