call me TEAFO

Becoming the only thing I've never wanted to be

It's been almost 4 months since my last post and by now this blog is an empty box that I throw my thoughts and self-reflection in

So the past 4 months (especially the last one) taught me hella things that I'm gonna remember for a very long time

It's 6 am rn and I'm on the balcony trying to make some life decisions

So for all this time I wasn't around I met someone who was truly wholesome with so many things in common that almost sounds too good to be true

Well, it was, but not that bad, but the thing is that the things in common were more personality related stuff

When it comes to real life interests and hobbies and stuff I don't think that we shared anything but music

Not gonna go in details about this story (maybe I will someday) but ut didn't go as I wanted it to

Now that I took some time to think it out I'm kinda glad it didn't go the way I wanted it to cuz it wouldn't have gone good for any of us

So after this long chaotic post what I learned was:

✓you should be loved the way you deserve

✓you should love yourself before waiting for someone else to do so

✓you should love yourself the same way you would want anyone else to love you

It sounded that there's more in my head but I'll edit this and add anything that I remember later

This is -as I said- more like me texting me in different times so for the me whose gonna be reading this in couple of months:

I hope you had a great summer and did all the cool things you wanted to do

I don't think that love is something you prioritize by now but I hope you found someone cool and interesting

You're over all the shit that will happen between now and where you are in the future so you should be damn proud of yourself

Idk what else to say so I wish you love, appreciation and happiness

Never enough

Never seen

Always watching from the outside

Life's been really busy and i didn't have enough time to reflect on what's been going on the last few months

I never really sat by myself and thought deeply about anything

I'm kinda starting some new stuff, like i just started reading a novel and planning to start working out from home cuz gym doesn't feel comfortable for me, and trying to find some online jobs and even courses

And in the next few months I'm starting to do se volunteer work and really excited

There's kinda someone who i really like and really looking forward to getting to know them more, got so much potential for it.

I recently discovered how much of a masterpiece is evermore and folklore by Taylor swift, these two albums got me going through the past 2 months

Really excited for everything that's yet to come and kinda being more optimistic.

I'm working more on appreciating everything good that happens to me and showing more gratitude

Alot of my loved ones went away but still in my heart

Graduated high school and now I'm in college studying IT

This year taught me alot of things and clearfield things that I never understood

Idk what to feel actually

But I'm always glad to learn new things and go through new experiences and I had alot in the past year

I'm not the best version of me yet

But still proud of who I've become (I grew up like 5 yrs)

I always follow the rule i set for myself couple of years ago of being positive and believing that everything happens for a reason which will lead to good things sooner or later and it always works

I have tons of plans that I'm excited to do in the next few months and I'll do my best to make them come true

I might edit this post and add things if I forgot any

In the end I just wanna express a tiny bit of my gratefulness and happiness and all the great feelings that I have for this one person who changed my life and keeps pushing me towards more hard work and success

For my one and only bestie or idk what to call them cuz they are more than that

Words will never express but I'll use what I have to thank @everybodyistellingmetoactmyage

You've always been my home ,the only warm shoulder I can rely on and the one who gets me like no one

Thank you for everything

We'll be together once again and only then I can say that I'm at home

I didn't kill myself

Happy pride y'all 💜🤍🖤🏳️‍🌈

Stay proud