and that's where it ends

Legit read this and had to pause and think “IS IT June tomorrow?”

truly think the ship stuck in the Suez Canal debacle is what we All needed. they say disasters really bring people together and here's one that doesn't actually involve the death of anyone. we just get to watch an absolute fuck up live and relish in it. i feel more alive than i have in a year. i feel god in that stuck ship tonight

i get so irrationally angry at phone calls unless i love you. like no you cannot disturb me..... except you specifically can actually

to the extended car warranty phone callers: you are not my beloved. die

the other day i started writing an office romance but i quickly remembered that i have no idea what working in an office is like

as opposed to your vast personal expertise in romance?

Photos that hit different in 2020.

I hate it

why did i try weed omg ima die i feel like a a dvd player

this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i’m losing it

goes to the kitchen. holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room

Dude

what? what? what do you want daddy kink 33?