A Book I'll Never Write

"She's a paramedic, so she saves lives every day, but little does she know she saved my life.."

"I love you like the sun loves the earth. Because the sun has never told the earth "you owe me" and with a love like that you could light up the sky."

When ever we first went on our little shrumie adventure.. I didn’t wanna do nothing but sit back and clench her.. I never done it before so I knew I had to start our trust somewhere.. So why not take shrooms together while we take our time to exchange our air.. I remember looking into her eyes and seeing a speckled ring of gold around the center of a black hole.. Brown eyes really not use to be my favorite color, but after seeing hers they made me to start lose control.. We rolled for hours, laughing and getting deep into all our conversations.. This girl got me wrapped around her finger already, which was not my expectations.. She made me feel so special when she told me that she kinda liked me.. Which at first I was a little skeptical about falling in love with her on the first date.. But for some reason I never believed in a lot of things, definitely not that four letter word fate.. But after an hour or so I was feeling the shrumies starting to kick in because I could see the world so much more vividly.. I looked in the direction where I knew she was sitting, and she asked me I felt them and I shook my head dizzily.. We tripped for I would say a great amount of time, but for some reason being with her was all that I wanted to do.. And saying by to someone who you think you might have fell in love with hurts worse than a rib tattoo..

When i sneak a peek over at you staring into my soul.. I can’t think about anything but how I became so grateful for having you.. You make my heart skip multiple beats when you touch my leg while I drive.. Or playing with my short soft hair cause you know that’s what I thrive.. Telling me your problems when you and I are all alone… It’s like we don’t need anything not even our phone.. When you were crying in my arms for at least a good solid hour… I am will be there for you no matter what happens, I’ll give you all my power.. When you get undressed All I can hear in my head are those beautiful sounds coming from trumpets playing.. I just can't see myself looking at another woman the way I see you, cause every night I get on my knees and start praying.. Dear lord let me show my love for the woman who means the world to me in every aspect of my life.. She's gonna hold me down no matter what as I am for her, cause I guarantee that she's gonna become my future wife.. She makes me wanna go out and get her everything she deserves in our hectic position.. But don't worry about that baby, I got you on my mind as a primary mission.. Imma hold you down for the rest of my lifetime and that's a fact.. We are gonna take trips from Paris to Australia then over to Mexico, but don't worry about that cause all the bags are already packed.. I see my self rolling over when I'm 70 years old and to wake up seeing your spectacular face.. And then all those memories we had together are gonna be priceless, cause like I said it'll all fall into place..

"When you double text me.. triple text me.. waking up to a total of around 31 messages from you. That's how I know you're real. That's how i know your soul is looking for mine, but when we cuddle all night I can feel our souls talk to each other while we are dreaming. I know that sometimes I can be a little ignorant when it comes to the super important stuff.. but it's the smallest of things that make my day. I notice every little distinctive characteristic you say aloud in your soul. I can tell you that the night in pasture was one of the best times we got to know each others darkest secrets and I promise you imma gonna get revenge on who ever it was who hurt you. Because your pain is my pain, and I am truly hurt! I will cherish your soul all the way until our souls reunite in the after life..."

When I seen her cover her face and walk away from me my heart sank into the core of the earth, I started to feel my heart melt from the inside out. She locked the door to the bathroom and I can only hear her fighting back her choked up breaths, I promised her that I wouldn’t hurt her, I promised her forever, I promised her a seat next to my throne of our empire. As I’m knocking on the door to open up my arms, she opens it and told me she loves me, and that I actually do care..

Nothing beats endless hours of nonstop bickering with your soulmate. That’s when you really get to know someone.. what’s there favorite food.. who they look up to.. how you wish yo could take their pain away in a snap.. run your fingers across their body like it’s the last time you’ll ever see them.. laugh at all their cute faces they make when they describe something they disgust.. I ain’t worried about money or fancy living, I’m worried about how you became the person you are and the experiences you went through to be sitting here in front of me today.

When I looked over at her, she was sitting there with her dark beady eyes closed. Her long hair was whirling in the wind like an ink pen broke inside the ocean and her nose cringed up while she still had a radiant smirk on her face. In that moment I felt alive, I seen the most flawless woman enjoying the basking sun pouring down on her caress skin. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, i couldn’t even blink because I thought I’d miss a minuscule detail about the moment I realized I fell in love with not only her, but her soul. I fell in love with a girl who wasn’t perfect, but perfectly imperfect for me…

When I seen her pupils bigger than her heart, I knew she wasn’t normal. I knew she was trying to get away from something that completely broke her down till she couldn’t handle it no more. And right then and there I told my self I’m gonna find what she’s running from and demolish it in front of her demonized eyes and watch them turn back to that perfect hint of golden brown in the fall. Because it was because of you that I fell in love with brown eyes