The Autoport (Clems BBQ / Toast)
MAY 23, 2014 / 9:45 P.M.–2 A.M.
SUDSY: Am I at the Autoport or Clem's BBQ? Whichever you choose to call it, I do always enjoy my time when it's a part of my evening; the liesurely walk to start, snagging a nice sturdy wooden table or comfy plush armchair, the attentive and friendly servers, a decent volume for conversation, and the deck outside with accompanying firepits. It's kinda hard to go wrong here. Even though on this escursion we found ourselves by ourselves around ten o'clock, there have definitely been nights where the crowd can be at a tolerable and enjoyable size.
I should mention that we spent the last hour at Toast, the smoking bar across the lobby, which I chose not to include in my scoring process.
OVERALL SCORE: 20/30 (Selection: 3, Noise: 4, Aesthetics: 4, Comfort: 4, The Crowd: 2, The Staff: 3)
HOP GOON: We've been to the Autoport many times. Sometimes that gets us funny looks when we list it as one of our favorite bars, because it has a reputation for being a swingers lounge. (Although none of us are married, we have witnessed some funny business there before...)
Regardless, this was our second bar on the list, and a polar opposite in terms of bias. Where I expected The Phyrst to be a horrible experience, I've had nothing but good times at the Autoport, but I tried to remain impartial and see it as if I had never been there before.
One of the great things about Autoport is choice. There's not one, but two bars in the building, which is by the way fairly ancient (for State College, at least). According to the History page on their website:
In 1936, a local businessman by the name of Marion B. Meyer traveled from State College to Miami, Florida, where he came across something he had never seen before. It was a service station which repaired cars, provided gas and oil, offered home cooked meals, and comfortable lodging. It was called a motel which was short for “motor hotel.” The main building was designed in what was known as the “art-deco” style of architecture.
He was so excited about this modern way of providing services to travelers that he brought this idea back to State College. Mr. Meyer knew that travelers would appreciate a comfortable place to stay overnight, have their car serviced, and enjoy a delicious meal before heading out of town. He called his new business the Autoport and it became the first motel in Pennsylvania.
Since then the Autoport has seen many changes including the service garage being converted into a coffee shop, the addition of a heated pool, a lounge, and modern motel rooms replaced all but five of the original cottages.
Many changes, indeed. Since we'd last been at The 'Port, Clems BBQ appears to have teamed up (or absorbed??) the major restaurant side of the building, resulting in a new menu, some new decor, and stylistic changes—draft beers are now served in mason jars, for instance. (Works for me.) They retain a fairly solid list of beers at reasonable prices. I had three different IPAs over the course of the night without putting a terrible strain on the wallet. I also tried some kind of apple pie moonshine (also served in a mason jar) which was pretty sweet and delicious.
The furniture is varied and allows for a lot of different options and body language situations. There's the huge wooden table with straightforward chairs where we spent most of the night comfortably. There's also couches, loads of different chairs, and you're not just limited to being indoors—there's loads of seating outside as well, including some interesting square tables surrounding propane firepits, and if you visit on nice summer days, you can apparently take your drinks into the pool.
And that's just one half of the bar! The other side is called Toast. It's the Hyde to the interesting-but-tasteful Jekyll; darker lighting, much louder (there used to be a stage, but tonight just an expensive MP3 jukebox to which we played a game of "Thunderstruck"), and full of much rowdier locals. Dr. Tequila ended up getting sucked into a game of pool. The Undead Bartender somehow fell asleep. The seating on this side is a bit less comfortable, but still varied: benches, tall seats, free floating chairs with cushions you can sink into. A drum serves as a table. The beer selection on this side is different from the other side. And smoking is allowed in Toast, for better or worse.
If I want to nitpick, our server wasn't great. On the Clem's side, before midnight, it cleared out and left us as, literally, the only people in the bar, but our server seemed to only feel like checking on us every 30 minutes or so. (That also makes it hard to score the crowd; I can't say we were bothered, obviously, but we also didn't meet any interesting characters. Things were much different on the Toast side.) But I love that there's a bar where you can go to chill out, bullshit without having to shout over loud music, and have a good time with your friends. Autoport is all about choice. It's a bit bipolar, but I dig it.
Oh yeah, the bathrooms are fucking nice, too.
OVERALL SCORE: 24/30 (Selection: 4, Noise: 5, Aesthetics: 5, Comfort: 5, The Crowd: 2, The Staff: 3)
DR. TEQUILA: This has always been one of my favorite bars in State College. The Autoport refers to collection of establishments all under the same management. I suppose first and foremost it’s a motel with an adjacent restaurant, clems, famous in these parts for their pulled pork. The restaurant is flanked by two bars. There is the “classy” side with a fireplace inside and crushed velvet couches. It has large windows that look out on a fire pit festooned deck, and beyond that, a pool. Top that off with an impressive selection of liquor and a decent variety of beer on tap and you’ve got yourself a swanky ass pub my friend.
Follow a hallway that runs along the front of the building past the restaurant, past the front desk, and through a small door and you will find yourself at the Toast. Calling the “classy side” classy is not intended to imply that the Toast is a dive. Its small but the seating is arranged comfortably, and the lighting is perfect. There is a small bar, a pool table, and a jukebox. Drinking at the Toast always makes me feel like a beatnick, especially because you can smoke. The only problem is that the drink selection sucks. They only have a handful of beers on tap and a measly little shelf of hootch. But if you want to chase your quervo with yuengling this is the spot for you. As it turns out, that’s exactly what I wanted to do.
We spent a little time at both bars. We started on the “classy side”, got some grub, and drank micobrews. The only problem with the “classy side” is the crowd, or the lack thereof. The people who drink on this side seem to fall into two basic categories. You’ve got your older folk, mostly married couples out for some food and a few beers before bedtime at 9:00. Then you’ve got your wayward travelers. These are the people who are staying at the motel. They mostly work construction. They are interesting to talk to but they mostly like to keep to themselves with their eyes glued to whatever sport is on the flat screen.
The service was decent on this side. The bartender was friendly, knowledgeable, and patient. The waitress was ok. She seemed to lose her focus toward the end of the night, all in all though I can’t badmouth the service.
After we got good and tipsy we headed over to the Toast. It was rockin. People were playing pool, the jukebox was jumping, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. The drinks are affordable and there was never much of a wait time at the bar. The bartender must have been new because he was in a little over his head. He kept forgetting that I had opened a tab, and once he poured me the wrong kind of tequila. I forgive him though. Got drunk, played pool, good time.
Selection: 4/5
Noise: 4/5
Aesthetics: 5/5
Comfort: 5/5
Crowd: 3/5
Staff: 3/5
OVERALL: 24/30
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